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Home Forum RAINBOW BRIDGE Toki have crossed the bridge…

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    • Tokii
      Participant
      287 posts Send Private Message

      I have tried coming back here to break this heartbreaking news..and I kept running away not ready enough to tell you all an accept it. But once again here I am…

      I just want all of you to know my baby Toki has passed away(21st Sep 2015). I was away in lanka just for 5 days…he was doing good and normal until the very midnight of the day I am suppose to be coming back home to my loving babies…soo close…. It pains me to say he left me too soon. I know I am not the perfect human in this world or the perfect cousin/wife/sister/friend either. Short of temper, depressing and boring… But I felt I was the best mother or the caretaker to him…It gives me great pain to be so far away from him when he binky away to his rainbow bridge. He was wrapped around with my once wore t shirt when he was struggling to survive…he loved my smell…he lifts his head searching for me when my recorded voice  were played, with his weak state he searched for me…and where was I…so far far away. Everyone keep saying its not my fault…but I belived he was depressed…and I wasnt there to kiss his worries good bye..I wasnt there to sing him La vie en rose…He loves it when I sing him in the morning and night…but where was I? So so far far away. He is my life, my happiness my everything…I had two family yet I felt like an orphan..

      Toki made me feel whole again. He is my strength and weakness. He helped me to keep myself grounded. He is the reason for me to be at ease..he is the cure for my anger and so much more…he is my only crowned prince…my son..my baby. He left unforgettable and permanent paw prints over my heart. He is my one and only Toki..No bunny in this world can replace you. Your one of a kind to me. He passed away doing what he loved…listening to his mum singing.

      When I was back in the airport to come back..I looked at people passing by praying to god I would do anything in the world to be anyone of them but me…fearing the pain I would get when I go home and hes nowhere to be found..

      He wakes up first thing in the morning and jump on to our bed and run around. He will eat my hair if I dont wake up and push his lil head over mine askin me to wake up. When I am awake and slightly move giving him space…he would happily come and lay next to me..he knows hes receiveing pats and kisses. I would pat him half asleep until i get tired..and when I do stop he would sit straight and give me the look “is that it?” Or at times he will stomps his feet but mostly he would lift his head and give me kisses gesturing me to continue. I , at times do it in purpose just to see him behave such a way. Then I continue patting him makin him relax and completely go flat. Once I gave him his enough dosage of patting and kissing, he would stand give me kisses and go crazy all over the bed. Oh that moment where he gives you the happiest binkies. When hes all tired running around and rest for awhile…thats when i sing him La vie en rose…

      This reminds me the day of his neutering. After his neutering process was over and when he was still not over anesthetic, I sang that song til he wakes up…it is as if he understands..he woke up and immediately started kissing my hand. As if hes saying “Mum, I am alright”

      He would get jealous when I pat other furry members in the family and comes running and stops next to me demanding pats. 

      When i was too sick to get my self out of the bed, he was my strength…he would come accompany me and entertain me but more importantly keep me busy from all those unwanted thoughts.Hes my rock…

      I wake up every morning expecting his greeting or his fur touching my back….this place feel so empty…Sometimes I wake up wishing I am gone too…

      I have so many pictures yet to show you all of him…but…he left me too soon…

      Thank you Sam,Jackie,Andi,Cathie,Gab and Jen for being there for me when the worst happened…You were all with me and helping me through it.


    • Avantika
      Participant
      371 posts Send Private Message

      I think the same about myself – that I am not good at anything but being a good mom to Moshu. I dont know what to say. Love brings with itself its share of pain. Too much of it actually. I hope you appreciate yourself for the mom you were to Little Toki and gave him a life full of love. He understood how much you loved him.


    • MoxieMeadows
      Participant
      5365 posts Send Private Message

      I am so sorry Tokii, this is so heartbreaking to hear. I don’t know any words that can make you feel better, but just know that I am thinking of you throughout this very difficult time. (((Hugs)))

      {{{{{BINKY FREE TOKI}}}}}


    • Bam
      Moderator
      14054 posts Send Private Message

      I’m so terribly sorry to hear this, Tokii, it’s so incredibly sad. I know you loved him very much and that he’ll live forever in your heart.
      Binky free Toki. You were such a beautiful boy.
      I can’t help but cry when I read your text about him, Tokii. Again, I’m so sorry.


    • LBJ10
      Moderator
      14030 posts Send Private Message

      Andi told me what happened. I was hoping you would post on BB. We miss you around here. I’m so very sorry to hear about Toki. He was a very special bun and he had the best mom in the whole world. No one could have loved him more that you, I’m sure of that. He was so beautiful too. I love seeing pictures of him. I know it was awful that you weren’t home, but I’m sure he knew you loved him. I’m glad some BB members were there for you. Just remember that you’re always welcome here. We are happy to help in any way we can.


    • BunLuv
      Participant
      637 posts Send Private Message

      I’m so sorry for you loss. That was the saddest thing I have ever read and have tears streaming down my face at your pain. I hope it becomes bearable as the memories attach themselves in a less painful way.


    • redbunbun
      Participant
      202 posts Send Private Message

      I’m so sorry for your loss… Binky free, Toki! There is nothing more wonderful for anyone than a life spent loving and being loved in return. You gave Toki that, the best life a pet could ever hope for.

      I hope you find a way to keep going, despite the sadness you’re feeling now. I’m sure Toki would want you to be happy, once you’re ready.


    • LongEaredLions
      Participant
      4482 posts Send Private Message

      Oh Tokii, my heart is breaking for you, tears are definetly being shed. Your post is so beautiful, it so perfectly describes the lovely little boy we all knew and the love you had for him. I am so so very sorry for the loss of your family member, the amazing care you have him is telling of how much he was loved. Sending all my hugs and love to you.


    • BinkyMom14
      Participant
      275 posts Send Private Message

      Once again I’m so sorry or your loss. I’m glad we could be there for you. We all know how much he means to you and always will. We will never forget Toki or your story of him being neutered, I hope your heart heals soon so you can think of the wonderful times you had together without feeling sad.
      Binky free Toki, we love you


    • MissGabbster
      Participant
      718 posts Send Private Message

      This is so heartbreaking to read. Toki meant so much to you and you to him. He loved you so much. It pains me so much that he’s gone, but I know that what I’m feeling is nothing compared to your grief. I loved hearing his stories and seeing all the pictures you took of him. He was such a funny character, so full of personality. You were such an amazing mommy to him and you’ll continue to be an amazing mommy for your other fur babies.

      Binky Free, Toki


    • AndHenry
      Participant
      4531 posts Send Private Message

      We wouldn’t have been anywhere else, we absolutely adore YOU! Still broken hearted for your and our loss….
      Thank you for sharing your precious Toki with us, he was such a joy and lets be honest, he hasn’t gone far – we all kept a piece of him in our heart. He’ll never be far away. Whenever you need him, think of him and he’ll be right there! Always.


    • BrunosMama
      Participant
      1463 posts Send Private Message

      Oh, Tokii, I’m so so sorry. You and Toki had so many adventures together! You were an amazing bun mommy to him. I’m sure he told all the other bunnies on the bridge he had the best mommy.

      Binky free Toki xx

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