Things Bad Bunnies Should Write 100 Times

[MimzMum]

While I was frantically searching the web in the last few weeks for info on my cat’s eye condition, I stumbled across this site that had this header. Not all of them were worth repeating, but I think we can all identify with a few of these:

Things That Bad Bunnies
Should Have to Write on The Chalkboard 100 Times!

 

After my human has been on the floor petting me for forty-five minutes, I will refrain from nudging her ankle and grunting determinedly at her in order to elicit MORE petting when she gets up to make her dinner.

As much as I love my brother, I do not need to show it to the world. Especially while on display at an Easter egg hunt so that Mommy has to come up with some sort of explanation for the little humans.

I will accept the traditional meaning of ‘no!’ and quit trying to continually redefine it.

I will not attempt to escape my cage by climbing through the feeder.

I will not growl at my parents when they try to give me my medicine.

I will not hide in the closet so Dad can’t see me, then scare him to death when he sticks his hand in to feel around, and feels…me!

I will not look really cute and snuggle into people’s laps and then pee.

I will not pout and throw a fit every time the slaves leave town.

I will not push open the closet door and camp out in the dirty laundry.

I will not rush at Mommy growling and batting with my paws when she tries to pick up my food dish. She is trying to fill it not STEAL it.

I will not scare people who ring the doorbell by sitting in the parlor window, pretending I’m not real, and then standing up and grooming myself. 

I will not sit on Mom’s sister’s head when she is sleeping on the sofa bed, even if it is MY turf.

If my human fails to release me from my cage immediately when she wakes up in the morning, I will not go temporarily insane and rip fur out of my neck for the next two hours.

If my human gives me extra petting time one day, I will not sulk if I don’t get the same attention the next day.

There are no lost children, rabbits, adults or even planes that need help finding their way through the hall, so there is no need for me to keep “marking the trail”.

Getting my claws trimmed does not hurt and helps me hop better. My human should not need to sneak up on me to accomplish this, one toe at a time.

I don’t need to wait until I’m out of my cage to go to the bathroom.

I will never spray on Dad again.

I will not attack and spray the stuffed animals.

I will not get pitiful hiccups to demonstrate how neglected I am, and stop them immediately when I get some attention.

I will not pee on any floppy disks inadvertently left on the floor. 

I will not pee on the floor immediately after it has been cleaned.

I will not poop on Dad’s side of the bed and then pull the sheets up to cover it.

I will stop playing “Guess how many (poops) I can pile all in one spot?” when I am out on the rug.

Mommy and Daddy do not find bunny farts sexy, especially during hot summer days.

An orange vacuum cleaner is not a noisy moving carrot. I will try not to chase Dad and the noisy carrot.

I cannot fit my body through the two-inch space under the bedroom door.

I will not fling my food dish to the other end of the condo when it is empty.

I will not run full speed onto the slippery linoleum floor and try to execute a sharp right turn. Bouncing off the wall is undignified.

Just because I am very still does not mean I am invisible; Mom CAN see me.

Suddenly launching myself from Mommy’s grasp when I am only a foot from my cage will not get me there any faster.

Cat’s tails are not toys.

I will not grab the treat, forcing my mate to chase me around the room in order to get any of it.

I will not try to steal bananas from anybun who doesn’t eat as fast as me.

Other bunny’s whiskers are not for *my* amusement.

I do not need to thump and hide when the clock radio goes off in the morning.

I will not growl at Mom and make her look foolish for being afraid of a 2 lb bunny.

I will not rattle the cage door or try to break out of Alcatraz at 3 am, when I am on time out, when I hear the human walks in the front door, or when I want more food.

And the list goes on……

If you’d like to read more, here is the page, but be forewarned, some of it sounds either impossible, rude or just like plain bad bunny parenting, if these things are actually going on.

http://animal-world.com/encyclo/critters/rabbits/information/badbunnies.htm

Some of these also appear on this PDF:

http://www.badpets.net/BadPets/BadBunny/BadBunny.pdf

 

Personally, I don’t know of ANY bunnies who fit these descriptions…do you?

 

 

[Zombie-Sue]

Add

Headphones are not mine to chew on! xD

[AbbyGirl]

I love it. Makes me miss having a bunny even more! =)

[Michelle&Lolli]

That’s hysterical!

[mocha200]

I posted a link to this web site a while ago. I think is hilarious.

[Huckleberry]

Hahah!!!
How about “I will not sulk for hours when mommy gives me a bath because I chose to to sleep in my poop and consequently stink!” because thats what Huckleberry needs to write right now.

[LittlePuffyTail]

Love it!!

“I will let Mommy sleep in on her only day off” (Bindi needs to write this one about 500 times!)

[SmokeyBunnyRobinson]

I will not tear up the carpet. And when the human says “stop” or “no” I will listen immediately instead of migrating to another spot to pull out more of the carpet.

[Lis]

 I will not, after months of being bonded and not humping, decide to hump my husbun as I’m being introduced to my grandparents. 

I will not chew on the walls. 

[Isabelle]

I will not dig up the carpet. Carpet is for laying on and walking on. Not digging up. My mum does NOT like to crawl around on her hands and knees under tables and chairs and heavy desks to pick up the carpet and try to hide the thinning material.

^____________________________________^

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

omg tears!!!!

I will not look really cute and snuggle into people’s laps and then pee.

I will not poop on Dad’s side of the bed and then pull the sheets up to cover it

I will not grab the treat, forcing my mate to chase me around the room in order to get any of it.

I do not need to thump and hide when the clock radio goes off in the morning.

I will add…

I will not head butt and box the dog who steals my banana (though mommy doesn’t blame me!)

I will not chase my best friend off when I hear treat wrappers

I will stop using my blankies and beds as toilets sometimes…when I feel like it.

[Author]

Messages