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Forum BONDING Re-bonding after separation due to surgery

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    • prince dorian the bun
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        Dorian is still bonded, he happily grooms Miu through the fence and his behavior towards her is unchanged. Miu seems confused. She lunges from time to time, not frequently so I am not really sure the trigger. Sometimes it is after grooming when Dorian wanders off, the other time she was eating and Dorian approached.  But they have had plenty of times when they ate next to each other with no issue.  This is with the fence up, so no harm done. She isn’t biting and honestly she doesn’t seem like she’s upset by his presence.  There’s no foot stopping like when they first bonded. She also chooses to hang out near him and watches him.

        Dorian has his check up Sunday morning,  so barring any issue I was going to start the bonding after Dorian had a chance to recover from the trip and such.

        I don’t have room for 2 pens. Miu is basically freeroam. Personality wise having her in the space Dorian is in would not work. She rattles his cage enough as it is, and there are too many things she would destroy. I can try to figure things out, but do I really need to redo this part of bonding? Right now she is grooming right next to the xpen and Dorian is facing away, but 100% paying attention.  She’s also stopping to making little noises, a bit like a combo of chewing sounds and tooth grinding but not quite. Kinda clicky.

        I can set up a mostly neutral space for them to meet, but how long do I keep them there? I don’t know if I need to start from scratch or if they just need some time together and Miu will work out her current issues. And what behavior do I need to be aware of? What do I do if she does lunge? Do I let them work it out or intervene right away.

        Sorry for all the questions! I wish I understood Miu better, Dorian is generally easy for me to read but she’s more of a mysterious bun and I can’t always figure her out. Like what are those little noises about?


      • Wick & Fable
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          Safest approach is generally to start from scratch, with the understanding that it may not take as long this time around since they had already bonded once before.

          The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.


        • DanaNM
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            It seems to be the most successful to plan for the worst, but hope for the best! As in, plan to start from scratch and look for alllll the same milestones you did when you first bonded them. You will probably need some sort of housing for her so you can do side swaps (or have some way to let Dorian out for exercise). A spare x-pen usually works well for this.

            I would also use the most neutral area you can, like something in the bathroom or bathtub could work.

            All the normal rules of engagement apply. Encourage calmness and positive interactions (petting when they come nose to nose, scent swapping, food sharing are all good). Nipping and lunging is OK, circling and biting is not. Mounting is fine but not head mounting (spin the mounter around) and don’t let the mounter chase if the mounted bun tries to escape. A little chase in a large space is usually fine, but in a small space has potential to escalate. Her lunging is communicating with Dorian and is not in itself a bad thing (but if he ignores her lunging then that could lead to fighting).

            . . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  


          • prince dorian the bun
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              I can’t do bathroom, Miu likes to explore so has been in the bathroom plenty of times and Dorian can not do slippy. I will just do what I did before then and hope it goes a lot faster.


            • prince dorian the bun
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                Dorian got the all clear, so after some time to recover from vet and some lunch, I set them up in my room. It was a little tense in the beginning and both buns needed a lot of human attention and calming. But now we are just having back and forth grooming. It’s not quite 100% tension free, but I think it is going good. Waiting for them to hop in the hay together.


              • prince dorian the bun
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                  Oh and Miu does this thing where she runs up to him and the leaps over him in a u-turn. I don’t know quite what it means.  Dorian seems excited by it, but isn’t doing anything much. (His mounting attempts have been rejected and he is not pushing it)


                  • Wick & Fable
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                      The jumping over maneuver is actually another dominance behavior, like humping or requesting grooming.

                      The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.


                  • DanaNM
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                      Sounds like a great start!

                      . . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  


                    • prince dorian the bun
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                        their behavior became better the longer they were together, so we ended up doing a marathon session and they spent the night together in semi neutral territory… technically it’s more like both of their territory, but neither of them seem to care much about territory. Lots of reciprocal grooming, few snuggle sessions. Miu in particular was super happy and stretched out next to Dorian and had to be in his space a lot. Dorian seemed really tired for chunks of it (he’s still not 100%), and made some unwise attempts to mount early on. Bit unusual for him, as neither of them did that their first go and they don’t really otherwise. Dorian does get spring fever occasionally though where he gets over excited grooming… so maybe that played in to it. He stopped trying after a bit.

                        Tonight I hope to put them in their room for the night and hopefully after that I think they should be good. Then I will need to deal with some bad litter box habits Dorian adopted when sick and also try and figure out how to have him gain back the weight he lost.

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                    Forum BONDING Re-bonding after separation due to surgery