pre-bonding aggression question

[thesquirrel1]

If anyone is knowledgable about bonding, your help/input would be GREATLY appreciated.

The short version of my question I am looking to have answered is – is it normal for a first rabbit to behave unusually aggressive and on edge while pre-bonding? He chins everything like crazy, and has even lunged at my boyfriend while trying to add some hay to his litterbox while he was inside it. He has been more quick to startle and just seems on edge. Is this typical and does it go away as he gets used to the new rabbits scent?? For more context, please read below (but any input on pre-bonding behaviors is appreciated because this is one thing I can’t specifically find any info on).

I recently adopted a male rabbit from a shelter. Two weeks later, we adopted a second rabbit (female). I was very hesitant about this and he adjusted and bonded with us within the first day of bringing him home, but the shelter said that the male was very interested in other rabbits and that he would not do well without a bonded partner, so we took him to a bonding meet up and it actually went very well (all the positive signs minus mutual grooming) compared to other rabbit dates we were seeing, so we took her home. The shelter told us to keep them separate for a few days and a couple more bonding dates but they should be fine after then. As you can see from how long this post is, it did not end up going so smoothly. I did do my research and watched all the videos but I am learning there is a lot of confusing and contradictory information and I am feeling lost.

(important to note: 1) yes, both are spayed/neutered; and 2) the first rabbit is free roam and finding neutral space is a HUGE challenge)

I tried doing a bonding session in my bathtub (only neutral space in the house, my fault for not researching bonding ahead of adopting him and saving a neutral room). it went well. The next day, we did another bonding session and I took my hands off petting them for one second. All of a sudden, they broke out into a VICIOUS fight. We quickly separated them and gave them a treat to end on a “positive note” but there were clumps of fur so I don’t think that blueberry helped much. Anyway, ever since then my male rabbit has been VERY on edge and behaving more aggressively and territorial than usual. For this reason, I discontinued the actual bonding sessions and instead have discovered on this forum that pre-bonding is very important!!! A LOT of articles/videos had no mention of it but based on my male’s behavior, I think that is the missing key. I made a mistake not going into this prepared enough, thinking it would be as simple as keeping them separate and doing dating sessions for a few days. Do they still have hope to bond? Is going back a step to pre-bonding going to help even after they have fought? I feel like my first rabbit’s personality has changed since having the second bunny in the house, even though they got off on the right foot.

What I am doing now is pre-bonding (switching rooms, litterboxes, toys, etc) and setting up a double-grid fence between them during dinner time to have them eat “together.” It has been about a week now since I brought the second one home.

This process has been extremely frustrating and has been wrecking my mental health. I am really nervous about doing a bonding date again because I am so scared they will injure each other.

 

 

[DanaNM]

First off, take a deep breath! All of this is normal and it’s very likely they will bond just fine! It may take some time, but they will get there. I’m assuming no bun was actually injured in the fight? As long they are both fine you are good to keep going.

And yes it’s really normal to see some tense and aggressive behavior when you first start pre-bonding. This should get better with time (but see my notes below on housing during prebonding).

This type of scenario is really common when one bun has full free-roam. And I agree pre-bonding is especially important. For pre-bonding housing, I would recommend setting up 2 side-by -side pens in the main area where the buns will live, then you swap who is on which side every day or two (keep the litter box somewhat dirty when you switch, so I usually will swap every two days and clean boxes on the days I don’t swap). This can be annoying for the humans because it often means a bunch of fencing all over the place, but it’s temporary! The idea is you want the buns to lose track of whose territory is whose. For exercise, you can either divide the room in half or do alternate shifts (like one bun gets morning exercise, the other gets evening). Just be sure they can’t nip each other through the fencing (or jump over it!), as you mentioned. Remember this set-up is only temporary!

I would continue the prebonding until you see both buns behaving calmly, then start up your bonding sessions again (continue swapping all through bonding though). If you notice they are really aggressive through the fence at first, you can hang up a towel or blanket so they get used to scents first and then remove the towel once they are doing well with that.

You are still in SUPER early days. I’ve been amazed at what just a week or two of pre-bonding can do. I’ve had buns go from lunging at each other and running the fence spraying to calming eating near each other and relaxing in a week.

Another thing to think about is neutral space. I have a suspicion that even your bathroom is prob not as neutral as would be ideal, and bathtubs can be hard to do for longer sessions (I usually have had the best luck with larger bonding spaces). When I lived in a studio apartment, I would often bring my buns to other places for bonding sessions at first. The shelter I got them from would let me come and use an empty pen for sessions there, or I would go to a friend’s house. The car ride together to the date also served as an added bonus session. 🙂 So maybe you can ask the shelter if you can bring them by for some dating once you have done some pre-bonding?

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

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