My Heart Has Joined the Thousand….

[MimzMum]

,,,for my friend stopped running today. ~Richard Adams~Watership Down

Most of you know I’ve had some recent crises with my MacKenzie River Husky lab cross dog, Taiku. He was unable last week to go to the bathroom and we ran him into the ER and they lavaged and irrigated him for that evening and into the next day and it was pretty rough on him. When he came home, we weren’t sure he was going to bounce back, but he did. And he’d almost achieved normal status again.

Sadly, yesterday, he had a relapse. Unable to go, stiff and uncomfortable. We took him down to fluids only and plied all the tricks and tips the vet had told us to use to get him going again.

This morning he was exponentially weaker and so off to the vet again. My husband just phoned form there: his bowels have failed him. He is cold from sitting in the snow only God knows how long and his vitals were very weak. They could’ve rehydrated him again, but we’d be dealing with this again within the week and my poor boy is just too tired to fight anymore.

My husband will be there with him while they send him across the bridge. I told him I loved him before he left and his eyes looked at me kind of sad and distant. I’ve seen that look before. I’d prayed for God to release him from this body if he couldn’t get better, so the Lord has answered my prayers.

My husband is devastated. He’s lost so many, one of which was a family poodle he saw hit by a car right in front of the whole family when he was little. This duty is never the best thing for him to have to undertake.

We’ll bring our boy home to be buried near his mother and sister. Only Shadow is left now. Poor thing….he’s been so openly worried about his boy. I don’t know how I’ll get him to udnerstand, and yet I know he probably already feels the empty space next to him. Perhaps Taiku has already come to say goodbye.

Thank you all for trying so hard with your get better and healing vibes. The call of paradise was just too strong.

Goodbye, Taiku. I’ll miss your rambunctiousness and madcap affection. All the times you’ve tried to pull the fence down becasue you were scared of loud noises is over now. But then so are the times I could’ve held you in my lap to make you feel better. We’ll never forget you. Please don’t ever forget us. And say hello to Willow and Dusty for me when you see them. I’m sure they are there with you now, and Kimba too, and the family is almost complete once again.

Watch over us. We will be looking to the skies hoping to see a glimpse of your faces. God has some excellent guard dogs there with him now to walk the golden streets with.

I ruv roo, buddy. *kisshug*

EDIT TO ADD: Just got a call from my husband. He’s bringing him home now. Apparently he fought the euthanasia so my husband would have a few minutes to say goodbye and just took his pets, then they had to double the dose. I hate those moments, when you’re just not sure you’ve done the right thing. But I could not have in all good conscience put that poor creature through any further treatment. It wouldn’t have been life…it would’ve been maintenance. He’s peaceful now and not hurting anymore. That is what he needed more than anything.

Still…what a horrible beginning to the day. I’ve already had to tell my son. He is heartbroken. We all are.

 

[Sarita]

Hugs to you Mimz Mum! I’m sorry you had to let him go to the Bridge. It’s always hard but it’s so much better than letting them suffer. I will light a candle for Taiku.

[bunnyluvr]

I am so sorry for your loss Mimz Mum. It is always hard to find the right words to say so I won’t try. Just know that you and your family did your best for him, he was well loved and had a happy life. And best of all – he is no longer suffering.

[kralspace]

Oh MimzMum, my heart breaks to read this about Taiku. It is so hard to watch them suffer and so hard to make the decision for their sake. He knew he was a beloved member of the family and will continue to watch over you. ((hugs and prayers to all of you))

I will light a candle also, to help guide him on to the bridge

((soft bunny hugs))) Kathy

[LittlePuffyTail]

I’m so sorry you had to say goodbye to Taiku. It’s so hard to let go even though you know you did the right thing. Anyone can see you loved him unconditionally and I’m sure he knew that too.

****Hugs to you and Shadow*****

[KatnipCrzy]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[katie, max & penny]

Oh no! Many hugs and kisses to the Mimz family.
((((((vibes to you)))))))

[Monkeybun]

Aww MM, I’m so sorry *snuggles and hugs from monkey and me* He’ll be wiating for you there for you to join him, many many years from now. I’ll light a candle for him.

[FluffyBunny]

I am so, so sorry… I’d been watching your posts about him, and I was really hoping he’d get better…

[luvmybunny]

I am so very sorry for your loss, MimzMum. I have been reading your story too. I am sorry that Taiku took a turn for the worse. I would have done the same thing in your position, so he does not have to suffer any longer. RIP Taiku *Hugs*

[Barbie]

Oh MM. I’m so sorry for your loss. I too have been watching your story with Taiku and was hoping that he’d pull through it. It’s always so hard to loose a beloved pet, and I hope that knowing that your BB friends are supporting you and crying with you (I am at least) will help you and your family though this. (((hugs!)))

RIP dear Taiku.

[jerseygirl]

  Oh MimzMum – I’m so sorry to hear this.  My condolences to you and the family.  Taiku no longer suffers. Please give Shadow a hearty head rub from me. 

[bigsis7]

Mimzmum, I am so sorry for your loss :’[.

[Sage Cat]

Oh I am so sorry.
With everything he and your family have been through – you made the right decision. No matter how hard it was to make – he is in a better place now.
My thoughts are with you.

[MarkBun]

The mark of an animal’s life isn’t how much he enjoyed it but how much we miss them when they’re gone.

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

I’m so sorry Mimz *HUGS*

I teared up reading your goodbye to Taiku *HUGS*

Paw Prints in my Heart

“As I look in your trusting eyes
to say my tearful last goodbyes,
I find it hard to let you go.
You’re such a part of me.

The years we shared are now a blur
since you were but a ball of fur.
I still can see you in my mind
unleashed and running free.

But now you’re sick and not yourself.
I grieve to know you’ve lost your health.
Yet you brought boundless joy to me.
I hope somehow you know.

And as I stroke your shiny coat,
a lump grows large within my throat.
I wonder if you understand
this really is farewell.

You look at me as if to say,
“Just stay with me. Don’t go away.”
And so I will, my little one
as you lay down to sleep.

And though the time has come to part,
you’ve left your paw prints in my heart.
A heart that breaks imagining
my life when you are gone. “

[MimzMum]

I want to thank you all for all your kind words. Lesley, I read your post from lurker stance yesterday and dissolved so completely that I couldn’t answer right away. I can only hope my poor boy knew well how much I loved him. He was definitely given that short span of a week between one crisis and the last for us to tell him, I pray I was successful.

Thank you everyone. Just…thank you. It’s going to take me a while to get past this, but you’ve all been such a great help in doing that. Bless you all. ((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))

[SophieBun]

Mimzmum I’m so sorry it happened… I was following your thread and sending healing vibes all the way..I just started crying while reading this now, I know how hard it is to lose a best friend too. I went through a similar thing like your husband..someone ran over my first yorkie, Lolita, and gosh I loved her so much..when it happened my heart just exploded…and I’m crying right now I miss her so so much. It’s too hard..they’re one of the most loyal and lovable best friends on earth. I hope Lolita and Taiku are playing together over the rainbow bridge.. Lots of hugs to you and your family.

[Lara]

Oh, Mimzmum! I am so sorry to hear about your handsome Taiku! I have not been on the forums lately, but I was praying that he would feel better. I guess he does feel better… we just feel a little bit worse. He truly was a gorgeous boy, and I’m so happy that he was so loved by you and your family. I know how hard it is to get used to a world that doesn’t seem quite as bright as it did yesterday, because a sweet puppy is gone… I hope he runs into my Lucy on the bridge. They’d have great fun together!

All the best to your family. I didn’t even know Taiku, and I’m crying… I can imagine the loss your family feels. Just cherish the memories of your sweet boy…

[Carrot Lane Bunny]

Don’t worry he has joined many great dogs at the bridge he will make lots of friends.

[MimzMum]

I want to thank everyone again for all your kind words. It’s been a hard week. I am still having some difficulty with the whole situation, but was trying to clean up a few things around the house and was startled to find this poem I had written some weeks ago (for another member’s bunny who was ailing at the time and had an uncertain future). It so perfectly expresses my feelings now, a very sad bunch of thoughts to be sure. And yet it always gets me how sometimes I tend to do things like this and they become almost self-fulfilling prophecies. I could not, at this time, be able to come up with anything like this…in fact most days you only get a grunt out of me for a reply simply because my mind feels so blank right now.

At any rate, I wanted to share this with you all. It seems very dark, but eventually turns towards that second star on the right and straight on till morning. With each day that passes, my personal pain becomes easier to bear, even if it never completely goes away. And I have learned that with every goodbye, you learn some more, and almost always something valuable.

I’ll also add a picture, taken fall 2008, before either dog had their GDV surgeries. This was a trail near our house that they both loved to walk, an easement, actually, (at this particular time, I had been walking Shadow, but his images are so blurred you can’t even tell he’s a dog-looks more like Cousin It), and I thought it would be the kind of place I could imagine Taiku in now. Sniffing new scents and being able to investigate all sorts of lovely things without the restriction of either aging body or that darned lead on his neck.

So, here we go….

[Carrot Lane Bunny]

that’s beautiful mimzmum!*crys*
~CLB

[jerseygirl]

Mimzmum – I am….lost for words really. I cannot quite express what reading that has done. I’m teary yet warmed yet sad yet hope-filled. Like I said – I cannot express myself. Thank you so much for sharing that. It has such empathy for those who have lost and honesty and beauty and healing. You are very talented. That is also a beautiful place to imagine Taiku to be. I hope you feel his boisterous spirit when you walk that trail from time to time.

[Jenna, Chubs & Comet]

I’m writing thise through lots of tears, as I am quite the cry baby! My thoughts are with you and your family right now. I have been through a similar loss and it’s a heart wrenching thing to have to experience. Your poem captured it very well though, remember the wonderful memories he gave you and all the joy. I don’t think any animal provides as much unconditional love and utter joy as an amazing dog. They are just so forgiving and so happy to see you each and every time you come home!You were lucky to have each other and I hope you are comforted in knowing that he’s no longer in any pain. Plus, I believe that Heaven must be full of all the wonderful pets we get the privlage of having as parts of our lives. And you know that eventually, he’ll be overjoyed to see all of you again!

[mrmac]

I am so sorry to hear about Taiku. I had to let my first dog go a while back and I still am upset by it but it is good to know that they arent hurting anymore. Taiku was such a beautiful boy, that face is precious. (((((Hugs)))))

[Lintini]

That poem is beautiful. You made me cry. Many hugs to you from Bun, baby bun and I

[Pebble and Dante]

MM~ Your words tore right into my heart and let loose a flood of tears. And I DON’T CRY. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time. Lots of whisker tickle kisses from Pebs and me.

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

Mimz I like that poem!! It’s so appropriate and just …just…great!!

[BinkyBunny]

I am so sorry I did not see this before. Being out of town and then playing catch-up has left me far behind and I so wish I would have noticed this earlier as you were right there when I lost Rucy. What an amazing photo and poem! So very talented. I also hope you can take that trail now (even if it’s covered in snow and celebrate the beautiful things that Taiku brought you and your family. I know it takes time to heal and time will make room for feeling the memories without so much stabbing pain.

BIG BIG HUGS!

[TARM]

oh no, I’m so, so sorry. I wish there was something I could say to dull the hurt a little…but I know I can’t. Taiku did know you love him. A dog always knows.

[i~luv~frappichino&sammy]

get better and he is most likely in a better place now

[i~luv~frappichino&sammy]

[Bunstheboss]

 Oh God! So sad for you! I’m shedding tears over your suffering! He’s ok now, he’s ok… All my love goes to you right now!

[Cassi&Charlie]

Oh Mimz, I am so sorry. I am also lost for words because that poem was so beautiful and heart wrenching and hopeful that it made me hurt all over again for my beautiful dog, who left me 8 years ago. It’s an amazing talent you have, to touch other people through words, not many are skilled enough to do it.
I hope you write a poem for Taiku because it helps to have an outlet for all that you’re feeling. And I’m not going to say that Taiku will always be with you, but I am going to say that you should grieve for as long as you need to, no justification needed, no “I should feel better by now”, just let yourself have the time you need.
I still miss my Brandy, eight years on, I’m not healed enough to get another dog. These things take a long time.
(((Hugs))) I am so sorry for your loss.

[babybunsmum]

(((((((((mimz))))))))) i’m so so sorry to read the news about taiku. how devastating. you really fought so hard for him. since it has been a few weeks – many apologies for my delayed condolensces – i do hope that the pain of your loss has eased if ever so slightly and fond memories are slowly starting to over-take the sad ones. he sure was one handsomely gorgeous dog!

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