my dilemma (rabbit related)

[jerseygirl]

I’m having trouble tonight. I guess I’m posting to get it off my chest. Who better to understand all things rabbit then the BB community?

I have TimTim in my lap, he’s a snuggler at this age and he’s at the heart of my dilemma. I just don’t know what to do for him – his future. In an ideal world he’d stay with me and be bonded with my rabbits but I don’t think that’s going to happen. Perhaps when he’s of age to be fixed I could try proper introductions and bonding…  I honestly don’t want to subject him to Jersey as is. I don’t mean to paint her as ‘evil’ but she’s shown signs of being territorial and aggressive as rabbits can sometimes be. 

I’m not used to having caged rabbit and TimTim spends majority of his time in a condo. I rebuilt it this week to make it bigger. He already managed to escape tonight. How, I do not know!  I try give him  run time on my bed when I can. I know he’s little and cage time is not a super bad thing at his age but I can’t help but feel bad. Then I start thinking about his future…I had planned to find him a home once he reached an appropriate age. Now I have so many fears around that.

I’ve become attached and worry for him and also don’t want to upset my existing pair. I guess I’m feeling the consequence of my actions in taking him.  I knew it was going to be a learning experience for me.  I certainly enjoy him, having him constantly seeking my attention just for pets and napping while I hold him. So cute. Much of the time, my other two ignore me except when foods involved!!   He’s not all a dream, he can be a rabbity rascal too.  So now I suppose I’m hitting the hard part of the experience, being those decisions I have to make and I am emotional.  Feeling guilty about all 3 buns and overthinking stuff generally.  

Blahhh!  Thanks for reading if you stuck through my ramblings.

[Elrohwen]

Aww, I can only imagine what a hard decision this is!

Here’s what I would do, in your position: wait until he’s old enough and then get him neutered. Try introducing him to your guys and see how it goes. It might be better than you expect! If it’s really bad, then start looking for a home for him. At least then he will be neutered so you know that’s done, and hopefully you can find a really responsible person to take him – maybe even someone with a single bun he can be bonded to. I definitely wouldn’t give him up to just anyone, but if you look long enough hopefully you can find a responsible pet owner who will give him a good life.

[jerseygirl]

Thanks. Yeah, i’m trying to stay focused and reminding myself to take things a day at a time.
My original plan is as you’ve suggested. Get him fixed and then find him a home. I just think he’ll have a better chance of being a house rabbit if he’s already neutered. I have fast forwarded a bit, going over what I’d what for a home for him. I just hope the right person is out there.
I think I know now that if he stays with me, he’d have to be bonded with mine so he could be a free ranger also. That is going to take some work and I’m not sure I want to put all 3 thru it.

I need to stay optimistic that there’s a great home out there for him. To think otherwise is depressing and puts me in the state I am tonight. Holding a bunny and blubbering. *snort*

[jerseygirl]

I actually have trouble invisioning having a trio. If it was instant then hey, i’m not gonna fight it. I just know I’m likely going to have to let him go to a new home and that’s what’s hitting me. Which is stupid because that was my intention when I took him!

[Beka27]

Hugs.

I have major respect for those who can successfully foster (“successful” meaning: take in bunny—> love/rehabilitate/neuter as necessarily —> give bunny to new family with no hesitation).

I couldn’t do, it I don’t think, or at least not easily. I get way too attached, I am way too protective, and I am way too sensitive.

This guy is so lucky that you’ve taken him in and you are caring for him and giving him more love than he could have ever dreamed. I don’t know what else to say, not sure if anything is going to make this easier. This is why people “fail” as foster parents. But if it works out for you and him, it’s not failing.

I guess I’ll just tell you what I’d tell anyone; first and foremost, do what’s best for Jersey and Rum. They are “yours”and their well-being has to come first. Beyond that, if you can work it out, definitely try. If you try (and try, and try) and it’s not going to happen, that should hopefully give you just a little bit of peace in finding him a new home.

[PuddleJumper]

((HUGS)) You are a bun superhero! You deserve a gold metal for your big heart to bring in a bun that was in danger of losing its life due to ignorance. I agree with what has been said above about trying with your buns and if it dosent work out you have enough sence and intuition to find a forever home for him, no doubt! ((hugs)) let us know how its going

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

Oh I understand!!! I think we would all take them all home if we could and it’s unbelievably hard not to.

I badly want another bunny or a pair, but I just worry about what that would do to my delicate balance of Rupert and Kahlua…and it’s front and center knowing that really….for me at least…threesomes don’t work. Rupert would not assimilate to Kokanee and Kahlua (he’s aggressive too, I think fear based) and Chuck never made it into their pair even though they didn’t fight, they weren’t a good friend to him either… A third just seems to disrupt it, a pair is good.

So having made that mistake TWICE I know what you are feeling-obligation to the new bun and guilt about the pair. I can’t offer advice because I know you’ll do what is right, whatever it may be, because you’ll just know what is right in your situation. But having been a dummy before-I’m so here with you (across oceans!) to vent to

[MimzMum]

Aw Jerz! ((((((hugs))))))) I personally cannot imagine you without little TimTim…but I know you are thinking of him first and that is so wonderful! You’ll probably go around on this question quite a bit before having to make a decision.
I agree with Beka, I could not successfully foster. I couldn’t even manage it with Hello Kitty. (I was supposed to find her a different home since we had so many to feed at the time she arrived.)
I can’t speak to bonding three, because my three are still unbonded. But I have noticed a few things about my bunnies:
Mimzy & Pip could probably go back to being a bonded pair relatively quickly, at least I hope so. And if that happens, will there be room in either of their hearts for little Fiver? 0_o I worry a lot about how that match-up is going to work. (Actually I’m scared to death to pair up Fiver and Pip…she’s going to squish him!0_o) Although each seems to accept him separately, albeit we haven’t tried a formal snuggle session, just allowed them near one another.

At the same time, I do notice that Fiver seems to truly prefer….MY company. (don’t ask me why, but it’s been more noticeable that he wants time with me lately) He loves being in my space and, since the other two have their separate habs on the opposite side of the room from him, I feel good about giving him special time just with me. I notice he even eats better when I am in the room, and tends to be gloomy if I haven’t been around him much during the day. (He’s right by my bed all night, so he’s not missing me there.)
I’m wondering though, with TimTim so used to being around you as he is now, if he does wind up being adopted, will he have problems with your absence? Now this could all be moot when he gets neutered, since that tends to change bunnies a bit, or if he’s adopted into a home with another bunny to be bonded to, but I am wondering if he isn’t already forming a bond with his ‘bunny mum’?
Now I’m not saying you need to start ignoring him, perish the thought! I know that some bunnies, once bonded to another bunny, tend to forget we exist (except at mealtimes, lol), and of course you don’t want to have him hurt by either of your other two, nor do you want to take on more work for yourself than you need (having two bonded and one loner), but I also wouldn’t want to see you regret giving him up, even if it was to a loving home.

I know that if Fiver doesn’t work with the other two bunnies, I’ll be spending a lot of time on the floor with him (since I’ve determined I can’t really get another bunny…otherwise I’d be poking you for TimTim myself…lol!) and that’s a lot of time out of my day. I don’t mind doing it, thank goodness I don’t have a job I have to be at, but it can be stressful nonetheless.

In the meantime, I think you should continue to soak up this special time with him. Don’t work yourself into a lather about his eventual future, just kind of keep it in the back of your mind and play your cards as they’re dealt.
I know, I’m one to talk, but I don’t want to see you fret yourself into not enjoying this special little bun. You’ve done such an awesome job with him already!
We’re here for you, whatever you decide. And you can always PM me if you want someone to equivocate with!

[Beka27]

Mimz makes another good point, altho maybe unintentionally… what if YOU were TimTim’s mate? Meaning you didn’t bond him to the pair, you had an xpen for him elsewhere in the house, or even free roam in a space you were in often… Pairs just… do their own thing most of the time. It’s an option. You could keep him separately.

[jerseygirl]

Thanks guys. : )

I had a week of not been very good with sleep, eating, meds etc and got overly focused on stuff. Trying to be a sensible adult now…. trying…

 

I’m wondering though, with TimTim so used to being around you as he is now, if he does wind up being adopted, will he have problems with your absence? Now this could all be moot when he gets neutered, since that tends to change bunnies a bit, or if he’s adopted into a home with another bunny to be bonded to, but I am wondering if he isn’t already forming a bond with his ‘bunny mum’?

It’s hard to say at this stage whether he’s bonded to me specifically or whether it’s just human attention he is responding to. He’s pretty affectionate, content to sit in my lap etc. I’m not used to it.
If it is his nature and he responds well to a new person then I will feel more settled about him going to a new home. I think if he’s getting his needs met (having someone dote on him ) he’d transistion pretty well.
btw, I think Mimz/Pip and Fiver/MM combos would not be a bad outcome at all! Course, with a trio you can have the single habitat and not have to divide time between them so it certainly has it’s benefits. That would appeal to me also.  But if it doesn’t happen then we’ll deal.

Beka, I think I’ll be doing as you suggest sooner rather then later. TimTim escaped the condo multiple times yesterday. He was on a mission! Luckily I keep the door to the bedroom shut. But yes, I think I’ll have to give him more run space in time and perhaps I won’t feel so bad about him being shut up. I could partition off areas and it would only be temporary but my sister and I share the house and she already puts up with a lot of bunny zones. I’d always envisioned if I had more rabbits I would do couple sets of pairs actually. But in reality I’m not sure how well it would work. Having TimTim here certainly brings all the pros and cons to the fore. Another consideration is I don’t know how long I’ll be living where I am. In another residence, more rabbits then I currently have might not be an option.

Funnily, my 2 were super intent on getting into the room. I did allow it about a week ago when his cage was smaller and up high. It turned out they were more intent because there had been a barrier at the door, not so much because there was another rabbit. Prior to this, they’d not been spending time in the bedroom much.
Later that week Jersey was smelling my clothes and attacked them but that seems to have settled somewhat. I suppose time changes things and time is what I have so I’ll wait and see.

That can be my mantra “wait and see”.

Thanks again for understanding.

[Sarita]

I get where you are coming from and babies are pretty irresistible. I think it’s the nature of the baby to act this way.

He sounds very adoptable to me and I’m sure he would find a good home. It’s one of those difficulties of fostering is the giving up of the rabbit but if you are intent upon fostering you have to have the strength to do it. So stay strong!

[Author]

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