LOST without Bonny (11.8 years old)

[Bonny Girl]

I found this forum on the day of my baby girl’s passing, 6/23/2021.  My Bonny passed during sedation on this date.  She was a couple of months shy of her 12th birthday.  Yes, she lived a long life.  Yes, she died in peace.  We took her to the vet (an awesome one) for her every 3-4 month right-side molar trim for the past two years.  Dr. said she died quickly upon sedation.  He said that her heart and other vitals appeared strong or else he would not have sedated her.  He said she just gave up immediately and that perhaps there was an underlying issue.  After all, she was old, 11.8 years.  She also suffered from a daily runny left eye for the past four years, for which we treated her with antibiotics daily.  This morning of her passing, I worried about taking her in because she had been really slowing down of late.  She has been completely blind (cataracts) in both eyes for the past 1.5 years.

So, why I am here?  After reading so many of the posts here looking for support, my heart broke even more than when I arrived.  It is because I read SO many rabbit moms and dads who were killing themselves with guilt.  Why do we torture ourselves so?! It is because we loved them so much that losing them surely must have been our fault — when it wasn’t.  Even I kept hashing events of the morning, etc., in my brain — looking for something/trying to find something to blame myself for her loss.  I was beating myself up for not giving her ever more banana the morning of her passing.  I gave her only a tablespoon a day on top of her greens/pellets/hay.  Of course, that was never enough for her.  I denied her more than a tablespoon, as usual, this passing morning — attempting to be the always dutiful mom to not give her too much fruit.  Oh, how I wished I would have given her all she desired.  After her passing, I kept telling myself how cruel I was not to indulge her requests.

I am finally (5 days later) able to see that I should be focusing ONLY on the extraordinary WONDERFUL, loving days I had with her.  I was a good, VERY loving, attentive mama.  NONE of us are perfect.  We all loved our babies or we wouldn’t be posting.  We must try hard to stop torturing ourselves with guilt.  For me:  Well, I knew for months (as she was slowing down) that every next day with her was a gift.  However, I prayed nightly to our Father to give me one more day and praised Him for each of these days.  None of us were promised our babies forever.  One more day is never enough.

Thank you for this forum.  It is so necessary and cathartic.  May God give you all peace of heart and soul — knowing that you did the BEST you could for what you knew at the time of your sweet baby’s passing.  There is ALWAYS something more we would go back in time and change, yet the outcome would always have been in God’s time.

[kanin]

Thank you for this post. I’m so sorry for your loss but I’m glad you’re able to focus on the good memories you have with her.
I had to put my dog of 14 years to sleep last night and, just how I did when my bunny and horse died, I find that I’m punishing myself for it. He was suffering from multiple illnesses but I still can’t help but wonder if I did something wrong and could have done something differently. I wish it was easier to make peace with it and wish it didn’t hurt so much every time I look at his bed, dog door, basket of meds, etc. But I still hope it comes sooner rather than later for all of us who lose our babies.

[Bonny Girl]

Oh, I am so, so very sorry for your loss.  The pain is almost unbearable — I know.  The mornings for me are very hard without her.  I am sure — just by the questioning of yourself — that you did all you could for your baby with the knowledge that you had in hand.  We are not veterinarians.  I have just completed a prayer to our Father to give you the peace you DESERVE and to allow you to QUICKLY begin to focus on all the wonderful care and love you did provide to your sweetie.  Your baby lived a long, good life and that is directly because of your care and love.  That is a fact.  Please stop breaking your heart more than it is.  Truly — fourteen years was a good, long life, but I know that we all want just one more day.  There are never enough days.  There just aren’t.

[SweetPotato]

Wow. Thank you so much for this post! It comforted me so much, and I am so sorry for the passing of Bonny. Binky free sweet bun <3

[Bonny Girl]

Thank you and a big hug to you.  Bless you for loving your sweet bunny.  You are here because of the love for your sweetie.  May our Lord’s arms of love provide you great comfort and to focus always on the wonderful days with your beloved.

[Bam]

@Bonny Girl, thank you so much for this beautiful post. I’m very sorry for your loss. She was very lucky to have you.

I recently had to say good bye to my sweet elderbun. He wasnt super-old, just 8.5, but he had been battling with really poor dental health for 1.5 years. He was on daily meds and I know he had great quality of life, lots of good energy and interest in life and cuddles and food, otherwise it would’ve been wrong to keep going. Still, when the time came and I knew he wouldn’t bounce back, it was so, so sad and I miss him so much.

We should celebrate all the lovely moments. We should be grateful and happy for having had these great friends in our lives. They will always be with us in our hearts.

@kanin I’m so sorry for your loss.

[Bonny Girl]

Thank you, Kanin, and I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Bam.  He truly did live a good, long life with the tender care you gave to him all those years.  Bunnies are so fragile and they hide their hurt.  It is obvious that you were quite attentive to realize when Bam was ready for peace.  Quality of life is MAJOR.  None of us want to suffer, if we do not have to.  Giving final peace to our bunny is the most kindest, humane, loving thing we can do for them ever.  It is always VERY hard to know when the time is right.  We always want to feel there is hope.

We had a bunny before Bonny.  Flopsy had malocclusion of her front teeth for her entire six years of life.  We had to take her to the vet every three weeks — all her life — for teeth trim.  She hated those visits, but she needed those visits.  Finally, one of her molars became abscessed.  I discovered this during my daily pets with her, as she was drooling.  We immediately took her to the vet and he performed surgery.  My adorable, loving girl survived for three days after that and they were not good days.  We definitely should have had her sedated.  She died in my husband’s arms.  We just didn’t know what we know today about bunnies.  We took her to the vet daily after surgery because she was lethargic.  We just kept thinking she needed time to get better.  He never gave us reason to believe she was on her last days.  I have since learned that vets typically do not do this.  I sure wish they would let us know words like “She is in a great deal of pain and may not recover.”  After Flopsy’s suffering, we vowed to never let another pet suffer.  Bonny never suffered and I so very grateful for that.

It took me many years to realize the truth that we did everything we could for Flopsy with what we knew at the time.  One thing I would share with all is that it best to take your pet to a small animal vet, also called Exotic Vet Care.  Bunnies can die of fright with the smell/sounds of dogs/cats at a regular vet.  Bunnies also need the expertise of a small animal vet.  I realize that in some areas there may not be such an option.

God bless you for the special care you gave to Bam.  He must have loved you a great deal.  May God quickly heal your hurting heart and give you the peace of nothing less than wonderful days with your baby boy. You were an awesome parent to Bam.  🙂

[HipHopBunny]

I’m so sorry for your losses!

Thank you for this post. 🙂 Sometimes the truth can be as beautiful as it is painful, making it hard for people to bring themselves to find it. One thing is for sure, though: we can’t blame ourselves for things that our out of our control. We could try all day, and come up with a million possibilities as to why we caused the unfortunate event, and think of how we could have done things better. It all really boils down to the fact that we can’t see the future; and even if we did, sometimes there are paths that we can’t change. Part of our journey is to accept the fact that life is indeed imperfect, but also beautiful. Life teaches us to appreciate the small things; to cherish the little acts of kindness seen daily. Life is an extrodinary voyage. 🙂

I’m sorry again, for your loss. I know that you gave Bonny a wonderful life, filled with love and happiness. 🙂 The depth and love intertwined in your words really shows how much she was cared for. She will always be with you. 🙂

@Kanin – I am sorry for your loss. I’m sure that you made the right choice –  and 14 is a wonderful age for a dog. 🙂 I’m sure he enjoyed every second that he had with you. 🙂

(((((((((((((Binky free, sweet Bonny, Bam, and all who have crossed over)))))))))))))

[BZOO]

I recently lost my beloved Lethal White Aussie, Sara.

She had been having issues for awhile.  We kept trying to fight it.

Always, with euthanasia, we say to ourselves…too soon, too late???

I kept hearing in my head ” it’s time”.  I sure hope that was my Sara telling me it’s ok to let her go.

[Bonny Girl]

Oh, I am so very sorry for your loss.  All of us here painfully know your heartache.  As Sara’s mama, you knew when her life was more miserable than it was happy.  I am confident you made the right decision for her.  You would not want your last memory of Sara to be of her suffering when your head knew that “it’s time”.  My son just recently made the decision to put his sweet golden retriever to sleep.  He truly made the right decision to end his loving baby’s pain.  Now, his last memory of Buddy is how gently he went to sleep forever before being carried away to the Rainbow Bridge.  There is NEVER a time or way that we lose our sweet babies that we won’t second-guess every last few days/hours/minutes.  No matter how old they are, how sick they are, we do not want to lose them.  You were blessed to have listened to your head.  The decision can never be easy.  May God give you peace.  The days ahead, my friend, are not to be easy.  We just want them back — every day without them, we just want them back.

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