I still miss her

[Toulouse]

It was March. My rabbit, a Dutch named Bluebelle, was five. I got her when I was twelve. I didn’t spay her. I didn’t know I was supposed to, and even after I started asking about it, family members assured me she was fine, there was no reason to, she was too old. I got her as a show rabbit for 4-H, but we were almost inseparable. She was always perfectly friendly, ran up to me when I came up to the cage, licked my arms right up until they took her from me to put her to sleep. She had uterine cancer. She wasn’t acting right, and I noticed the minimal changes, but I was assured that it wasn’t enough basis to get her checked out. When we did, they told us it was severe pneumonia, and they kept her for the night. I was assured by the next morning that she was doing well, and for a couple days, she really was back to normal. She stopped drinking. On her last day, she didn’t even eat all her greens. It took a week and a vet across the state just to learn that she had cancer. We drove six hours total that day  for me to look at a vet and tell her she could take my rabbit. I opted not to be in the room. It had been a rough week, and I’d hardly slept. I couldn’t handle watching her be taken from me. I made the mistake of looking back when they took her. She was all wrapped up in a blanket, just her little head poking out. I was so convinced she was on the way to recovery, and it hit me like a train. In a few days, on October second, it’ll be what would’ve been her sixth birthday. I didn’t want another rabbit. I wanted a bird, a parakeet, anything else. But I have an uncle who breeds them, and you know how sweet the babies are. I ended up with an English lop. She’s not the same. I know she can’t be the same. I feel bad for her. I want to bond and be close with her, but I’m terrified of losing another rabbit.

[Bam]

I’m very sorry you lost your rabbit. It is true that it’s important to spay female rabbits, but it seems you filled her life with love for as long as you were together.

Pets can’t be replaced. But we can open our hearts and homes to other pets. I think I understand what you mean about wanting to bond at the same time as you fear becoming close. I felt the same way when my first dog had died and I got a new pup some time later. We do invest a lot of emotions in our pets, and losing a beloved pet is very painful. It is of course normal to want to try and avoid having to feel that intense pain again.

English lops are beautiful. I hope you and your new bun will bond eventually. You’re very welcome to write about her and your developing relationship on these forums.

 

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