evil mother-in-law

[Adalaide]

So yesterday I wasn’t feeling very well and took a nap, making sure that Freya was safe in the bathroom. Well, the modem and router are down in my space and the internet wasn’t working, so my mother-in-law came down and knocked. I didn’t feel well and didn’t want to get up so I ignored her. She came in and reset the router and left, whatever, I don’t care. My only concern was that Freya loves the area by the door to the stairs, I put a littlerbox there which she always uses to pee (cheer!) but she scatters poops when she gets out and leaves a few in front of the door. I really think it’s territorial since the door is there, I just vaccuum them up every day and move on with my life.

Fast forward to 11:00pm when my husband has just gotten home from work and we’re making dinner in the kitchen (the only part of the house we share.) She comes out and starts talking about the cat, who needs to see the vet cause he picked a fight and got hurt. I mostly ignore the conversation. I don’t like the cat, don’t really care, he’s not my problem and the last time he was in the car he peed out of his carrier and it smelled for weeks no matter what we tried. Then she says, “I stopped at PetSmart and was looking at rabbit cages. I saw the poo by the door and I don’t like it.” The very idea of putting MY baby in a pet store cage 10 sizes too small to make her happy when she never ever has to be down here got under my skin in about 2 seconds and I went off. “They aren’t safe. Not enough room. I’ll just let her out all the time anyway.” I ended with the fact that she’d be better off in shelter or put down then locked in a pet store cage until she gets fat, then sick, then dies. The whole time I was nearly in tears because she was attacking my baby for being a horrible dirty animal when she’s not. That evil woman wouldn’t lock up a toddler learning to be potty trained just because of one accident, how DARE she say I do that to my baby!

Freya goes, I go. I told my husband too. I will not lock her up and if she buys a pet store cage I’ll put Freya in it and hop the next plane to PA to be with my family. I don’t think any of them would want her indoors, but my dad owns a sawmill and shop, I could have a beautiful large hutch and play area for her in our first two days there. There’s just no convincing this woman that bunnies aren’t bad. “I used to have rabbits” she says to me. Yeah… and she raised them to eat too!!! Locking up a rabbit in a cage outside with a wire bottom on it so you can make it fat and eat it doesn’t mean you had rabbits, it means you’re terrible at taking care of animals. I don’t know what to do, but I absolutely will not give up my baby and I won’t lock her up either, she’s done nothing wrong.

[TARM]

Why are you guys sharing a house with your mother in law? That’s one thing I swore I would never do…live with either set of parents. I’ve been pretty strapped in my time but I’ve NEVER resorted to moving back in with my parents. They’d never let me keep all my animals. My dogs most certainly wouldn’t be welcome (most espectially my rottie) and they think I have too many animals as it is.

I hope you guys can work something out.

[Adalaide]

Right after we got married I got really really sick. I was totally bed-ridden for 3 months. We just weren’t prepared to go through something like that and didn’t have the money to be in an apartment. It’s usually not a big deal, I mean we hardly ever even see his parents. (Although I’m very excited right now because my husband recently found a new job which means an apartment again!!!) She doesn’t know why I got the bun, and frankly it’s none of her business why because she’d just freak out about that too. (We had an unexpected pregnancy which resulted in miscarriage and I need a little something to mother before I end up crazy or mother my husband to death, lol.) She just refuses to see rabbits as anything other than dinner. That stupid cat is a long haired something and leaves litterally gobs of fur on everything, even the table and counter he won’t stay off of. While she hates that about the cat, and frankly doesn’t care if he ever recovers from his recent tiff, she doesn’t want to cage him, HE’s a pet. Freya obviously just isn’t to her.

[KatnipCrzy]

My parents don’t get the whole “pets” thing either- every time I used to get another pet after the 1st dog and cat my Mom used to ask my husband “Chad why did you let her get another pet?”  But you would think watching my grow up she would have figured out that I am a pet person, plain and simple.  I have a lot of pets- but I take care of and love all the pets I do have.

My husbands mother has never really even had pets- she once asked us “don’t you take pictures of anything else?” when my husband was showing her pics on the digital camera.  And oddly enough- I guess the answer is “no, we really only ever take pics of our pets”.  We don’t have kids- so it is not like I am neglecting a kid to pamper my pets.

What drives me crazy is that in the 15 years my husband and I have been married we have lost 5 pets- (other than hamsters, gerbils) to cancer.  And when I mentioned to my Mom that Penny (my bunny) died and they suspected cancer- my Mom said “That just does not sound right- why do all your pets die from cancer?”  That made me feel so bad- but I told her since my pets don’t die from being hit by cars, getting in fights, and neglect the are either going to die from cancer or liver, kidney, heart condition, etc.

[Adalaide]

Oh my gosh, how incredibily insensitive of her! My husband and I aren’t able to have kids right now, and Freya is our baby. I kinda wanna get her a kitten to play with. Yes, I’m crazy, I said I want to buy my bunny a kitten. After we came back downstairs last night I was crying like a child about the horrid things she said about my bun. I’ve also considered buying a digital camera just for Freya. If there aren’t kids, what else are we supposed to do? It’s a woman’s instinct to mother things, why do people think we’re off our rockers if our babies are furry instead of bald?

[LizzieKnittyBun]

Sounds like the best way to deal with her is to nod, smile, and then do what you know is right. She clearly doesn’t get it, and may never get it. I know it’s so hard not to let it get to you, but maybe you can just pity her that she will never feel the joy of giving and receiving bunny love!

[KatnipCrzy]

 

If you are a true animal lover- I really think you are born that way and it is not a philosophy that you “decide” live by.  And the people that don’t have that ingrained love, just don’t get it and probably never will.

Julie

[bunnytowne]

Oooofh I am fed up with insensitive people and their ugly words.   I have just had 4 days of it.  

Anyhoo.   Gosh why do people see self righteousness in being cruel with words.  I just dont understand.  Usually ugly words lead to more ugly words from the side that has been insulted and back n forth.   It is only natural to want to hurt them back.  I am sooo guilty of that. 

Oh my.  I know it is hard not to let it get to you.  I hear you about the mothering thing too.  We do love and mother our fur children.  We have a desire to show love and that is a good way to put it to good use.

Lets send cool it vibes to the evil mother in law.    Hopefully you can get your own apartment real real soon.  Then you can live in peace.

Try your best to ignore her.  I know not easy to do. 

 

[Adalaide]

Thanks guys. I feel better having been able to vent to people who understand that bunnies are people too. I’ll try to ignore her, which isn’t likely, but I’ll try anyway.

[MimzMum]

Hm. Perhaps we need a cage that the mother in law fits in? xD
I can’t speak to this, because my mum-in-law is so cool and we just love each other. I remember her taking a great interest in the first two buns, and when she heard I got Fiver she was wanting to hear all about him.
I do hope you guys can get your own place soon. That will solve the problem. I am sorry to hear you miscarried, I’ve been there in spades. (((((hugs))))) Perhaps some day you can try again.
In the meantime, just snuggle your bunny, it will make you feel worlds better, guaranteed! ^_^

[Adalaide]

Haha, a cage for my mother in law. Freya doesn’t snuggle, but she does give me bunny kisses. She climbs up on me and gets in my face right by my mouth so her whiskers tickle my whole face. She already makes me feel worlds better. I don’t think there’s a better cure for anything in the world that can get you down than a bun. She’s sure to bring smiles and laughs to anyone with a heart (mother in laws not included.)

[ScooterandAnnette]

Next time she goes on about the bunny, if she mentions bunnies being meant for eating you can tell her that in some parts of the world people eat cats and dogs too. Just because some people consider them food doesn’t mean that others can’t consider them pets.

ETA:  We have this running “joke” about if my mother-in-law ever came to visit and how we’d have to do a bunny count a few times a day and never leave MIL alone in the house or let her make dinner otherwise we might discover we have one or two less bunnies. 

– Annette

[babybunsmum]

i can sympathize with your frustration. my step dad completely doesn’t ‘get’ animal people. he had a dog years ago so he thinks it qualifies him as the authority on anything pet related *eyes roll* meanwhile he hunts innocent animals for sport. *shudder.* since he’s my mom’s pick and i’m stuck with him (thankfully he *is* very good to my mom) i avoid bringing up any pet care topic around him and i’ll just smile & nod if he offers any unsolicited ‘advice.’ thank God i do not have to live with him! if you can use this as fuel for motivation to work hard & get you & hubby back out on your own then it may be easier to bare in the meantime. glad you vented here

[KytKattin]

Gosh that would suck. Even if I married a guy whose mother loved animals I wouldn’t be able to live with her. I have ‘discussions’ with my own mother about proper animal care and she adores them to death! ((((((good vibes for getting your own place))))))

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