Did I do the right thing?

[Frisa]

Yesterday at 15:00 I had to put my beloved house rabbit Frisa to sleep.

I have been mourning ever since but within the last few hours I feel absolutely ridden with guilt.

For around a month my rabbit had a sticky eye. We were given eyedrops to see if that would clear it up, they didn’t work so we took her back to the vets and she got some antibiotics. She was on a two day course but on Friday her eye became cloudy and it looked really bad. I wasted no time and the next day I took her to the vets again. They said it was probably glaucoma but they were not sure. They said to give her metacam and see if this helps. She was fine in and off herself so I was keen to help her out as much as I could. So I rang the vet on Monday and asked if we could be referred to an eye specialist. They said it would be Tuesday and of course I agreee.

Tuesday came and Frisa was still herself. It then came to the time where I needed to take her. I opened her carrier box and put her in but it wasn’t sitting level on the sofa and it rolled a bit and she panicked, I immediately stabilised it and comforted her and loaded her into my car. I arrived at the new vets some 30 mins earlier as I didn’t want to miss the appointment because I wanted to get her help so bad. We were in the vets some 2 hours in total, but only being examined about 20 mins of that. She was diagnosed with glaucoma and given two sets of eyedrops. Her other eye on Sunday had started to show a third eyelid and was given drops for this too.

I took Frisa home and dropped her off, she ran straight to a cardboard box house we made for her. I went to work and came home around 18:30. When myself and my partner came she was still in her box and when we gave her the food she ignored it. When we lifted the box she ran off for cover and we let her. We let this go on until 21:00 when we thought maybe she had gone into gut stasis. We rang the vet over the phone and consulted them, we had left over gut stasis meds’ as Frisa had suffered from this in August of 2018. She wasn’t eating or drinking and we force fed her both and put her in her cage. She sat there all night. The next day she was weak, we have her emergency food and water but by midday it had been 24 hours since she had been to the toilet or eaten, she was also now uneasy on her feet and just doing a lot of sleeping, waking up, and falling asleep again. She was a shadow of her former self. She was making loud grating noises with her teeth – something she wasn’t doing the day before.

We took her to the vets full well knowing she was never coming home.

Did I do the right thing? She was 11years 11 months old. She was really old. She was so weak, I doubt she would have survived an operation at her age.

I just feel ridden with guilt. Did I do the right thing taking her to the vets? Did this bring on stress and that stopped her eating ? I was only trying to help my bunny.

I just wanted her to get treatment for her glaucoma and get better, I worry when I tipped her box I sent her over the edge and the vets was the final straw. I was just trying to help.

Did I do the right thing?

[pinknfwuffy]

I am so sorry for your loss. This must have been so difficult for you and your family. My sincere condolences.

There are two things to remember here. One, you made a heartfelt decision for Frisa. You had her best interests in mind. You knew her best and gave her a wonderful, beautiful life. Twelve years! It it the most heartbreaking thing we as pet parents have to do but also the most important because it means we are putting our rabbit’s quality of life ahead of our own emotions. Letting go is the ultimate act of selflessness. Secondly, do not beat yourself up over this decision. Not only will it only make the grieving more painful but you are not to blame. There is no fault here. You saved her from pain and suffering.

Frisa trusted you to take care of her and that responsibility included recognizing when she was ready to cross the bridge. A little roll in the carrier wasn’t going to change her serious health conditions that were already progressing.

Be kind to yourself and your heart. Be with your loved ones and celebrate Frisa’s beautiful life. You deserve to be free of that burden.

[Kiki]

The kindest thing you can do as a pet parent is to not let your baby suffer. It sounds as though she was not going to improve and was starting to deteriorate. That bun had a good LONG life, you did your best and the best for your bun. I am sorry for your loss, I truly understand, I just lost my almost 18 year old kitty. Breathe and be kind to yourself.

[Frisa]

Itskaylaerin & kiki,

Thanks for replying to me. Such kind words.

I just feel guilty that whilst I tried to help her with the eye specialist it stressed her out too much.

In reality I think I was always going to take her to the eye specialist, because I just wanted what was best for Frisa. I wanted to see if I could make her better and it was truly glaucoma. I didn’t want to wait and let her get in pain, I just wanted to try and treat her quickly to give her the best chance.

That was the right thing to do? I don’t know why I am doubting myself. I just feel bad.

She was so lovely. I will post a photo if I can figure out how.

[Kiki]

I think it is just human nature. I still feel bad, and wonder if there was more I could have , or should have, done for my Nova cat. I know in reality, she had been sick for awhile, and she was not going to live forever, but it still doesn’t stop that guilt.
Be kind to yourself, maybe finding a way to honor, or remember her would help?

[Bam]

I’m very sorry you lost Frisa. You did the right thing, and I think you will realise that when the acute pain of loss is starting to wear off.

You wanted the best possible care for her, and that’s what you got her. The carrier incident sounds really minor.

We do feel guilt when a pet leaves us. I think its because we care deeply about or pets and we so want to fix all their problems and when we cant, it feels like we’ve failed them.

You are an amazing bun parent, no rabbit lives to 12 years unless it has a wonderful home with wonderful people.

Binky free, sweet ****Frisa****

[Frisa]

Thanks to you all for your really wonderful and comforting words.

We have since found out Frisa was definitely 12, we had old records of her first vaccines in 2007 and her DOB was in Feb and as she passed away in March we now know for sure she was 12. What a little trooper!

I still feel bad I couldn’t help her, but when I think about it I was always going to take her to the Vets as I just wanted to help her the best I could. I had her interests at heart, I wanted her to get better and I know the sooner you act the better the outcome. But on this occasion it was not be be.

Image attached, when she was only 2 years old.

[Doodler]

I am so sorry for your loss of Frisa. Unfortunately the picture didn’t attach but I am sure she was a lovely girl.

You obviously had her interests at heart. I know how much it hurts to want to be able to do something else. Please don’t feel bad you couldn’t help her and just remember you helped her the kindest way possible. She was clearly very loved and well cared for.

[Frisa]

Here’s a photo of her. Think she was 2 here.

[Bam]

Oh, she was adorable! ???

[Author]

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