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- This topic has 33sd replies, 14 voices, and was last updated 14 years, 8 months ago by
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I’ve gotten into it with my dad too over Frankie. Same situation basically, but just with one rabbit. He is the only thing we ever really fight over (luckily, it doesn’t happen much anymore). He loves the rabbit, but hates it at the same time. I think he understands that without Frankie, I might not have gotten through the deep depression I was in a couple years back. But we have screamed at each other over him. We have bickered over him. We have shoved over him. I was injured when I went into defensive mode and ended up walking out of the house for a day or two with him once because I was scared my dad would try to hurt him (he smashed in his cage before it happened… this was when he stayed downstairs and not in my bedroom). Thank God nothing like that has happened again. But it was his stress built up from work then him coming home to the “rabbit’s house”. Ugh.
When it comes down to it, they’re stressed and we are lucky that they let us live in their houses! Things will get better. You’re both stressed. My first major loan is going toward recarpeting my parents’ house from when Frankie was a teenager though
I think what I was going for is that I can relate to the sitch. And I’m here for you if you need to vent at all or anything <3
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I’m sorry to hear you are having problems at home. It’s too bad your Dad can’t understand how much your bunnies mean to you. I had a lot of conflicts with my Dad too. I loved him dearly but there were many issues where we didn’t see eye to eye, my love for animals being one of them.
Chin up, though!
You won’t be living with them forever and when you get your own place you can have bunnies anywhere you want! And despite your Dad’s resentment towards your bunnies, try your best to have a good relationship with him because when he is gone you will miss him. I really wish I would have spent more time with my Dad in the years before he died. You only get one Dad! -
Well I’m too late in the conversation to do much suggesting I agree with what the others say. I’m alot like you in this situation my family lives and runs a small cattle farm we all live within 100 feet of each other and well…. it gets to be a bit too much family time and I’m the youngest and unmarried and at the moment jobless so I catch most of the heat so I know EXACTLY what your feeling! HUGS believe me things will settle down soon keep your chin up and try to fly under the head biteing radar for now! lol If you need to vent or talk more feel free were here for you!
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I’m sorry to hear this is still an issue Lin. And with the advent of the new furniture in the room (don’t know how your dad feels about that, sentimentally speaking) he’s probably thinking a bit in terms of dollars and cents as well. Maybe he is also worried your pets are ‘keeping you home’ when all parents hope to see their kids find their own sails and begin charting the seas of their lives. At the same time, a dad hates to see his little girl grow up too. It’s a hard inner conflict for them.
But I am distressed that the bf was of the same opinion as your folks. I just hope he is a good guy for you and that this will not put a strain on your relationship, which has seemed to go so well so far.
My hubby is also ‘wanting his house back’…a man’s home is his castle after all…even if he’s not there much. And only if the wife/kids allow him to be king.
You know he and I already discussed, no more bunnies. I will say he’s only really getting this point because I know I can’t do this for much longer. A part of me has to admit he’s right though. The stress of bunny health/upkeep is draining me. I have loved every minute of their lives with me, but I am not a young woman anymore and need to start thinking about dialing back my responsibilities.
Plus with the bunnies AND the cats AND the dog here, we can’t travel, we can’t renovate, we don’t have the funds to move house, we can’t even keep the majority of the house clean. Hubby is developing allergies severe enough he has to spend most of his day elsewhere if he’s not working. The costs are going through the roof for vets and gas to and from town (we’re 30 miles out) an although I pay most of that, I know it is a flash point between us that we just do our best not to ignite the powder on.
He’s telling me I can’t die before him because he wouldn’t know what to do with all the animals. *eyeroll* Thanks, dear…I love you too.
(BTW, Elrohwen…I just have to say, whatever magical pill you’re taking to help you not be swayed by the stresses of your mate…send some my way! lmao! How do you do it without becoming indifferent? I’ve tried and that’s where I end up. It’s very disheartening. And yet if I let every little thing that hacks him off affect me, I’m a wreck. What a tightrope!)
(PuddleJumper…that’s exactly where my family is too. Waaay too much time spent together all through the kids’ young lives. Not enough outside activities with friends and extended family and such…long story short, we’re all really barnsour of each other. We all seem to do the most to lead separate lives even within the same household.)
Anyway, you know I’m thinking of you Lin…hang in there. It’s got to get better eventually. And bravo for you doing so much to finish school! My boy is on his way home this month having achieved basically nothing. I was heartsick to get the letter that he wasn’t welcome this semester. I worry what he IS going to do with his life. You at least seem to have some direction. Your folks must certainly appreciate that, even if it takes some time for you to get there.
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I am in a similar situation except I am living with my inlaws! Eeeekkk! Lol. 21months ago our house went into foreclosure. We were not able to move into our own place right away, and I had been a stay at home mom. My youngest started kindergarden, I went to work full time, and we moved in with my husbands parents. With our 3 children and 1 dog. We thought we would not be there long. This is long. Lol. Since then, my oldest turned 18 and moved out, and 15 months ago I rescued a bunny. How I make it work is, first and for most, this is THEIR HOUSE. I am respectful of their wishes, even if I don’t like it and dont agree. When I got the bun, I asked permission to keep him. Now, I had never had one before, and did not realize that buns were inside pets! I promised to have hubby build a nice cage in the yard, keep it clean, take good care etc…. Since he was so little at first he was in a cage on the screen porch in from of our house. It was spring and beautiful weather, he was really very safe. Since it was the front door, he got lots of attention, and I brought him in every day and payed in the floor and played with him. Then I found this wonderful website! Learned all about being a good bun slave
told my inlaws everything I had learned. They thought I had lost my mind. I litter trained bun. Kept the porch where he lived clean all the time. Changed litter every other day, swept & mopped once a week, and daily picked up, cleaned any messes. # 1 rule, make sure his room didn’t stink. Ever. When it got too hot on the porch, I brought him inside in his cage during the day, back on porch at night. I am calling it a porch, but really it is a screen room with real walls, but the windows are screened with pet screen, it is very strong. And my room is adjacent to it so I can hear anything that goes on. And I put a baby monitor out there so I could hear too. Did I mention everyone thought I had lost my mind? Lol. But when they saw, #1, that he was clean and did not smell, and #2, that I took excellent care of their property and they didnt have to lift a finger to do anything for bun, they were fine. Then when I wanted to get an x pen and set it up in there family room with my bun, they let me. I asked them permission first of course. And I keep it clean. Daily. When bun molts, I take him outside daily and comb him. And boy does he get pissed at me. Lol. I have a pet lint roller, he loves to be petted, so while I am petting I am constantly lint rolling him, the floor, and me. I bought a large rug for under his area, which has grown to 1/3 of the living room, and ontop of half of that I have left over laminat flooring for lounging and under his litter box, and his water dish. He is quiet, clean, adorable, and so, so funny. They love him. Whe he messes, I clean it up. When they have company over, they let me know, and I make sure everything is extra tidy. It is a lot of work. A lot. But if I want peace and harmony, a must. Just don’t look in my bedroom, different story. Lol.
That was a rather long story, and I hope that it does not offend anyone. You cannot hear tone and intention reading. This is just what I have done to make it work.
And my inlaws are THE BEST! I have joked with my husband, if we get divorced over all this (which is not an option, by the way, or even a possibility) I am staying with his parents, he will have to move -
Sounds like your father realized that he was causing stress on your relationship with him and probably was impressed by your taking on the responsibility of fixing up your room yourself. Hopefully things will be better now.
Make sure your boyfriend understands that the pets are a non-negotiable fact if you do move in with him. My boyfriend knows my pets are here and if he gets mad at them for just being themselves, I am going to side with the pets… my buns are litter trained, I vacuum up the few stray pellets daily, deal with it (the bird makes more of a mess though
). I make it very clear to anyone I date that pets are a part of my life, I treat them like kids, if you don’t like it then you don’t like me. Don’t hide the mess the buns make before you make that decision – he needs to know exactly how the house will be, or else there might be some arguments there. There isn’t any hiding who you are, or pretending things are better than they are once you share a house. He should see all the dirty details beforehand. And of course we understand pets helping you through a tough time! How can you not smile with those cute little faces giving you love.
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