Confusion at night?

[Molzy]

Hello all!

I know I am a new member here, but I am having a hard time figuring out who to ask about this, and so I figured why not?!?!

My mother just turned 53 years old. I lived with her for the past 18 months, and just moved out at the beginning of January to start grad school 3 hours away. Now, I had noticed when I was living with her that she would sometimes be confused when I could get home from work at 945 or so, but I would usually be waking her up from watching TV, so I assumed that the confusion was because she was still partly asleep. I didn’t really think much of it., until tonight when I called her around that same time. Again, she acted confused and defensive, which was the first time I really realized that she would also act defensive at this time. I am concerned that something might be wrong, but also worried that I am overreacting, and she is just acting that way because she’s tired and partly asleep.

Anyone else experience anything like this? I’m sure I’m just overreacting, but I plan on calling her tomorrow during the day to discuss it and see what she thinks/remembers, and maybe see if she will see a doctor just to make sure. I think I am also slightly paranoid because my father, also 53 years old, has been living in assisted living for the past 2 years. My mom has always been the healthy one, and while I long ago accepted that I already have to start taking care of my dad (for a myriad of health reasons, he is mentally fairly sound), my Mom has always been the one taking care of me.

Thanks all! Any and all info/advice is appreciated, even if it’s just to hit me over the head and tell me to stop being a worry wart! 

[LBJ10]

Well, it could be any number of things. Or it could be nothing. Does your mom have any other symptoms? Abnormal movements, loss of coordination, irritability, memory loss, etc?

[Michelle&Lolli]

Does she regularly doze at night? Maybe that’s why she acts confused. I know if I happen to fall into a deep enough doze, I will wake somewhat confused. lol

It never hurts to get checked out if she’s willing.

[kralspace]

It’s observant of you to notice that, Molzy. It won’t hurt to check out other options, but if she’s in the habit of being asleep when you come in at night, she probably is just startled and sleepy.

I’m 58 and like to go to bed earlier now than when I was younger and when the kids come in and wake me up I’m definitely the same way, so much they joke about it. I tend to go into deep sleep fast so when they wake me up my mom brain is switching frantically between “Who’s hurt! What’s on fire!” and many other things that go through your mind when you’re suddenly woken up at night.

[bunnytowne]

dementia could do that.      Also like Kralspace says may be from being awakened abruptly.

You never know. 

My husband is in his 70’s and has a hard time understanding things he is egyptian so I have to speak slower and not slur my words so he can hear me and figure out what I am saying.  He is forgetful.   At times I talk too fast n slur my words.  My son is worse than I .

He wakes up rather easily now.  He used to flap his arms around when I woke him being irritated.   So it could just be that.   We all get a little dementia as we age too tho.    He sometimes forgets to check a pot on the stove he put on highest setting.  I mean we all forget I do it too but he does it quite often.  Doesn’t help he puts it on the highest setting lol

Does your mom do things like that?   Or just when she gets woken up?

[Sarita]

Well, I have to say that 53 is not that old. Dementia rarely happens with someone that young.

I think if you are concerned you should ask her to go to her doctor for a complete examination which is not a bad idea for anyone at any age.

[LBJ10]

Dementia is rare at the age of 53. There are other conditions though that develop around that age that have dementia-like symptoms. If you’re worried and you think it is more than her being woken up suddenly, then I would encourage her to talk to her doctor about it.

[Molzy]

Thanks guys!

I will definitely talk to her about it today. It is only at that time of night, so I think it is probably just her being asleep. There are no other symptoms, though she is also under a lot of stress, which I think could be adding to her being tired at night. Thanks for the advice, it’s nice having a group of people I can talk to about things like this.

I’ll let you all know if anything else develops.

[jerseygirl]

It’s a good idea to get checked out. If it turns out there is any sort of condition it’s better to treat in the early stages.

Some things to maybe investigate are sleep patterns & testing for things like sleep apnoea. Also a review of medications if she’s on any. Even things like blood glucose levels etc. I know my Dad gets irritable when he’s low blood sugar. Also, after main meals (normally in the evening) you can get that peak then big drop in levels.

I hope your Mum is open to going for a check up. You can always remind her that she would do the same for you in urging you to see a doctor right? If she knows you rely on her to “look after you” in life then I’m sure she’d understand you wanting to do the same for her.

[Molzy]

Thanks everyone!

I talked to her about it last night, and she remembered most of the conversation, and admitted that she’d probably been asleep when I called. I also found out about some drama that was stressing her out at work, so I imagine that was bugging her too. She did agree to mention it to her doctor when she goes in for her yearly, so I am very relieved.

I also found out that some of the confusion actually was legitimate – her phone was calling people other than who she was meaning to call. So that made more sense when she explained it today.

[bunnytowne]

Glad you feel better about it now.   Wonderful that she will mention it to the Dr.

Hmm low blood sugar at that time of nite.  yes  I do get tired slow n grumpy  lol

I am sure she will be ok.         Stress  yes that could make anyone grumpy     Hopefully it is something temporary

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

I’ll jump on the pre-dementia bandwagon. I work in health care-specifically in supportive living and long term care. Being up late, and being confused, especially with low blood sugar is typical. Good things to do in predementia (which often presents with mood disorders) is have something to eat before mental faculties are needed, and getting extra rest, working the brain if appropriate with memory tests…but I mean beyond that you may be dealing with a beloved family member who is displaying signs of dementia or predementia.

Health care changes depending on where you live, but ask around for an assesment. I know we like to avoid the dr. to avoid a diagnosis but help early can often mean longer and better quality of life with more meaningful interventions.

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