Where are they “free”? Can you explain what you’ve been doing exactly this past week? Be sure any short date sessions you’re doing is in completely neutral space (ex. bathtub) and I’d keep the dates short for now, based on the history. Remember to look at the bonding information we have: https://binkybunny.com/infocategory/bonding/

You may also fill out a new template for the current situation, as that might be helpful since you are ‘restarting’: https://binkybunny.com/forums/topic/bonding-template-read-me-for-bonding-help/

Lunging isn’t good, and it’s a part of communication. Obviously we want that to eventually go away, but if it’s not escalating into something dangerous, then that is preferable to instant fights between them.

In terms of pre-bonding, it sounds like they are calm while side-by-side pen-wise– are you swapping toys and litter boxes so scent is familiar between the two? In terms of being peaceful when side-by-side pen-wise, that’s actually fairly common. Pens delineate territory, so that relaxation and comfort likely comes from that. Some suggest that lounging by a territorial barrier is actually a “jerk” move, like “HA! This is my space and you can’t get here!”. It’s still beneficial regardless in my opinion, since it’s more experiences of exposure to the other rabbit where there is not a chance to hold grudges based on physically bad interactions, like a fight.

So in terms of neutral space, it should be an area that neither rabbit has spent time in previously, and is ideally not near their main areas in your home. But, you can use the same area for each bonding session. So really the only time the buns should spend in the neutral space is during bonding sessions. Ensure that your space is as neutral as possible, a lot of people use their bathrooms for this if they are limited on space. Sometimes even being within smelling range of their home turf can make bonding harder.

Sometimes, if bonding takes a long time the space can start to become less neutral. I’ve found it can help to switch up to a new neutral space if things stop progressing in the original neutral space.

I’ve had two of my bonds take over 3 months, and I know of some other cases on the forum that took longer. I know of some members who’s trios took 6 months to a year. So it’s not uncommon for bonds to take over a month, especially for trios.

I think your strategy of petting in the early dates is great, I would keep that up and use that method to diffuse the lunging if you can.

In terms of the trio, there are multiple ways to go about it. It kind of depends on the bunnies and your comfort level. More experienced bonders tend to prefer to just work with all three at the same time from the beginning, but this can be hard to manage if there is fighting or a lot of chasing. Others like to focus on bonding one pair, then working with the other two combinations for a bit, and then putting all three together. The downside to this is that the original bond may break or at least go through some hiccups during this process, so you may still end up having to keep all three bunnies separated during the bonding process.

To get a sense of some strategies and ways things might go, I recommend using the forum search feature (the magnifying glass in the top right corner) and look for “trio bonding”. You’ll find a lot of journals from other members that might help you. 🙂

Grooming each other is positive, fighting each other (fur flying) is negative — that being said, mixed signals during the bonding process is common.

I’m unsure what you mean by “let my bunnies go”, but to be clear, whenever you are doing a bonding session, you must be present physically and mentally 100% of the time to intervene when necessary. In terms of when to intervene, you want to do it before/if a big fight breaks out. To an extent, the little nips and lunges (that do not amount to a fight) are necessary so they can communicate with each other.

When rabbits are pre-occupied with something like eating, yes, this will prevent them from fighting and is often a good starting point for particularly hard bonds. You can think of it as a “points” system in a way — if the rabbits are aggressive without the food, go ahead and do only food-dating session so they can accumulate positive points in each other’s presence. This may help them be more calm when in a date and there’s no food, because they have had several exposures to each other where nothing ‘bad’ happened.

In terms of order of bonding, I would gauge it based on your situation. If the two males are not doing great, then you can try for a pair with a male and the female first (assuming both are fixed and +1mo post recovery). Note that the presence of another rabbit can make things complicated in the bonding process because their scent is in the mix, on you, etc. so I would be more mindful of distancing the third rabbit, including changing your clothes as the facilitator of bonding.

Again, be sure the dates are taking place in completely neutral territory. Start with short dates that end on a neutral/positive note, and as those become consistent and successful, you can start increasing the time of the dates. Dates can literally start at just 5min long, and while yes that is a slow pace, it is also sometimes what’s needed to get a good foundation for bonding. The rabbits need positive/neutral experiences with each other to feel comfortable ultimately being each other’s companion, so if forcing longer dates that always end in a fight/nips is occurring, that is going to not establish the sense of security that is needed in bonding.

Seeing any type of grooming in the sessions is great! But yes, fur flying is fighting.  I think it’s OK to be petting them and intervening a lot in the early sessions. Eventually you’ll need to ease off the petting though.

I think starting with petting, and the gradually reducing the amount of petting is a good strategy. Like, you could pet them for a few minutes, then pause petting for 10-30 seconds. then pet a bit more, then pause, etc. If they start hopping around, I like to pet them whenever they come nose to nose with each other, especially if they are requesting grooming (by putting their heads down). As you start to ease off petting, you can also gradually increase the amount of time they are together. You can also begin and end each session with petting to make sure you end on a good note.

The sex and age of the rabbits you start with matters less than their personalities. I think most people like to start with the easier pair first, since there is some risk of the pair splitting up when you add the third. It seems like the risk of that happening is a bit lower (or easier to repair) if the bond was easier to begin with. In my experience when people start with three unbonded rabbits, they often opt to work with all three at the same time, but that can be a bit hard if you don’t have someone helping you or are less experienced with bonding.

I always like to follow the guideline “if something is working, keep doing it!”. since petting and giving them treats is promoting positive behaviors between them, I would keep doing those things!

When you let them hop around more freely during the session, do they immediately go after each other aggressively? If you watch their ear and tail position that will give you some clues. Ears back and tail up is aggressive, so if you notice them moving towards each other with that ear position, you should interrupt them right away and start petting or move them apart. If their ears are facing forward and tail relaxed, that is curious or interested. Sometimes that will also mean one bunny is going to try to mount, which the other bunny might not like, so a fight results. If a bun puts it’s head down, it would like to be groomed by the other rabbit. If the other rabbit isn’t ready to groom that can also lead to fighting. Try your best to see what behaviors happen before a fight and try to prevent the fight from happening.

My main tip is just to be patient and do your best to prevent fighting! It can take time for them to sort things out. It’s our job as humans to make sure they communicate with each other safely in order for the bond to form.

In terms of space, any neutral space can work. Some bunnies do well in smaller spaces, some do better in large. I’ve usually had good luck with larger spaces (like the size of an x-pen or two linked up). So you can set up a pen in a room they haven’t been in, or a lot of people use their bathtub of bathroom, since most bunnies don’t spend a lot of time in the bathroom.

As far as convincing parents, I know it can be really hard, especially in places where having a house rabbit is not common.  I think it helps to start small. So rather than pushing for full free-roam (which can actually be really hard to do with a lot of rabbits, some rabbits are just too destructive), start by asking if you can set up an exercise pen in a bunny-proofed area where the rabbits can exercise while supervised. Showing that the rabbits are litter box trained and not destructive helps a lot, and you may be able to start to expand how much space you give them once you can trust them more. It also might help to have your parents bond a little with the rabbits, so you can have them hand-feed and pet them. Rabbit like to run and need to run for their health, and sometimes once someone sees a rabbit running and binkying for joy they realize how sad it is to keep them in cages. If your parents do love animals but just don’t understand rabbits, I think in time they may come around.

Oh I understand now! I agree, it can be so heartbreaking to see other rabbits in poor conditions. 🙁

That sounds like a very positive bonding session!

It sounds like things are going really well!

Bowing there heads and taking turns grooming each other is excellent. It’s not a necessity for them to mount or nip, it sounds like they have skipped that step and are well on their way to being bonded. Not sure about the digging, but you could be right in that he just wanted to get the other bun to move.

I would do some longer sessions before moving to overnight. I would try a 2-3 hour session next and see how that goes. if it goes well, increase to 4-6 hours. if you can do 4-6 hours with no negative behaviors between them (fighting or anything you need to break up), then I think they would be ready for an overnight or an all day session.

Sometimes things go well during the day and get a little more testy at night, so be prepared to supervise carefully (and not get much sleep). I like to do at least a couple longer sessions before going to overnight for that reason, because it gives me a better idea of how they will do together.

You want at least a whole 24 hours as you need to observe how they do through an entire cycle of a day, where their energies are gonna fluctuate with each other.

It sounds like they are doing great! Are you still in neutral territory? Or a semi-neutral spot?

So, you can start with an overnight if you aren’t able to supervise for 24-48 hours straight. I was just writing in another thread that with my first pair I did an overnight first, then separated during the day because I had to go to work, then another overnight. They did wonderfully in both overnights so then I moved them to their final (cleaned, rearranged, and deodorized) home on a Friday and over the weekend I supervised for 48 hrs straight.

The idea with the 48 hours is you want them to be together for 48 hours in their final home with no fighting or intervention needed from you, and lots of positive behaviors, then you can consider them bonded. This is known as “cementing”. Sometimes you need to do this in each new location.

I usually end up sleeping on the floor next to the bun’s pen during these overnight sessions, so I can hear them if they start scuffling. You may not get much sleep, because any little noise will wake you up. Some people like to set up the bonding pen next to a couch or bed so they can sleep a bit more comfortably.

This is why the long 24-48hr is recommend because time of day influences their activity levels and you need to observe if their present dynamic holds through. It could be because they were fed up with being with each other for so long, one did something the other didn’t like, who knows as we were not there. That being said, again, this is why the long period is warranted so you can identify that the bond isn’t stable yet and needs more time.

This should all be in neutral territory. You do not move to semi neutral until they are solid in neutral. They’re not ready to move into the actual final space yet if they’re fighting.

So, it is pretty normal for issues to come up at night, which is why it’s important to do the 24 or overnight sessions. Buns are more active at night, so things tend to come up.

The 24 hr session should be in neutral space. It can be the same one you’ve been working in, or a new neutral space. Sometimes the original space starts to get less neutral when they’ve spent a lot of time in it, or they just get bored.

Did you see what triggered the tiff?  Again it’s pretty normal for things to come up. Your job is to prevent the tiffs (or stop them right away if you weren’t able to prevent) and just keep going with the bonding session. Then you restart the “clock”. If you need to take a break, don’t end the session right after the tiff, wait until they are calm again so you end the session on a good note.

The basic progression is: neutral space for 24 hrs with no-fighting or intervention needed, then semi-neutral for 24 hrs with no fighting, then final home for 48 hours with no fighting. If tiffs happen each step can take longer, so for example if a tiff happened when you were 12 hours in, then you’d want to wait another 24 hrs from there to make sure they don’t fight again. If you don’t have a good semi-neutral space, you can also spend longer in neutral before moving them to the final home.

They are communicating with each other, so it’s OK because these things need to happen– just like tense conversations with a roommate. The longer you’re together, the more things come up and you and the roommate need to communicate and see if you’re compatible and willing to work it out. Remember that when we bond, we’re “forcing” friendship between two strangers, so it’s normal that they’d get fed up with each other and have some tiffs as they figure out their dynamic.

Yep, it’s definitely fine to take breaks as needed, and it’s encouraged to keep going as they have these tiffs. Sometimes it can help to give them some extra toys or a bit more space as the sessions get longer.

Taking turns grooming each other is great. 🙂

One other thing, sometimes adding a litter box too soon can trigger some territorial disputes. I usually don’t add a litter box until they seem pretty much bonded. So maybe if after the first overnight they are doing well, you can try adding a brand new (or very very clean) litter box, but remove it if it triggers fighting.

I usually just put down puppy pee pads until then.

Looks great! And omg they are so cute!

So, it’s normal for there to be some set-backs and ups and downs, so I don’t think I would give up just yet. If your goal is a trio, ultimately you need these two rabbits to get along, so you might as well keep working with them (that’s my two cents anyway).

It’s important to try to prevent fighting, but even when we try our best sometimes things happen. Was the space you were in still neutral?  If not, I would go back to the neutral area and keep working with them there.

Sometimes it can help to make their space larger. I’ve usually had MUCH better success with large spaces (even though small spaces are recommended by some very prominent blogs). It also could just be that you moved a bit too fast with them. In marathoning and long sessions, it can take several days for things to finally calm down. And early morning does have a tendency to be a problem time. Bunnies are really active during that time so fights are more likely.

Remember, the most important thing in rabbit bonding is patience!

Also just wanted to add I have been in exactly your shoes with one of my past pairs. I had a pair that would be perfect all day and most of the night, and would start fighting between 3-5 am. This went on for 5 straight days! I decided to pause, and reassess. I ended up going to a new location (at my friend’s house), because in my case my neutral area wasn’t really that neutral. I lived in a studio apartment at the time, so even my bathroom smelled like “home” to the bunnies.

After moving to a new location things went very smoothly and they did great. The new location was also much larger, so they had space to run and chase a bit without it turning into a bunny tornado.

Ok, so if the fighting was bad enough to cause an injury, then I think taking a break is a good idea.

Are their pens in your room? If so, then doing the bonding session in that room could have definitely been the problem.

Where was the last location that they did well together?

So, it’s really hard to say whether you should give up or not, because that’s kind of a personal choice.

If one rabbit was injured badly, then I would say you should probably give up. I also went and re-read your other thread, and these cases where bunnies are getting along fine for a while and then suddenly fight are pretty stressful for bonding, because things are unpredictable.

Most rabbit pairings are possible, but sometimes rabbits get into a cycle of fighting that’s hard to break. Rabbits do hold grudges and remember fights, making it hard to fully bond them.

If you want to keep trying, I think waiting a month (to give everyone a break) before trying again is a good strategy.

Note that as “strangers” online, the most safe and prudent recommendations given will be to take the most cautious approach, since we are not physically witnessing nor interacting with your rabbits. Thus, I do recommend taking a complete break at this point.

Whether you decide to try bonding again in the future is your choice. As someone with two single, unbonded rabbits (they are indefinitely fine in neutral territory, but one simply has no interest in bonding with the other), I will share that it is so much easier to accept unbonded rabbits and create nice, separate enclosures, rather than dealing with constantly evolving “temporary” measures and clinging onto hopes that they will bond…. they are both very much fine with the arrangement.

Side by side living can definitely be a fine arrangement — some say that it is still beneficial to have the stimulation of being proximal to another rabbit, especially if there is no observed aggression.