When will my new bunny like me?

[Lightchick]

Hello!

I posted earlier because Lizzy, my bunny I adopted from a rescue 3 weeks ago, doesn’t really like toys.  Doesn’t shred or chew or dig or do anything “bad.”  She comes off sounding like the perfect bunny, but my boyfriend, who’s had rabbits his entire life, says she’s the most persnicketty bratty bunny he’s ever met! 

She’s not destructive, but Lizzy is definitely not friendly.  I can pet her…if I go to her, and ask nicely, and she, in turn, demands a pet.  But mostly, every time I move toward her, she looks at me as though she’s annoyed at me.  She doesn’t necessarily run away as though she’s afraid (she WILL hop away if I insist on interacting with her after she’s given me the evil-eye..), but she does glare at me and give me the stink-eye.  I had an issue with her being territorial (she pounced, and growled, and even bit), but I reduced the size of her space and eliminated the area she was really territorial over, and she hasn’t been overtly aggressive since…but still…

I leave her cage open to her pen, and when I’m home, her pen open to the room at large, and she just stays in her cage.  She knows how to get out…she’ll come out occassionally, but she goes back into hiding if I pay any attention to her.  My boyfriend suggested I just leave her alone, and that she’d come out and play when she was ready, and she spent the next 2 days in her cage with the door wide open, doing nothing.  If I reach into her cage, she jumps into her litter box (she views the litter box as the safe zone because I try to leave her alone in it, so as not to ruin her impeccable litter-box-training) and glares at me.  Eventually, when I give up and HAUL her out of her cage, she seems to have a great time running in circles around the living room and jumping on furniture and performing hilarious binkies.  And again, if I crawl to the other side of the room, request permission, and am accorded permission, I am allowed to pet her.  But mostly she stays on the other side of the room, content to groom and flop and hang out…as long as I am far away.  And when I move, she gives me the evil eye.

So what do I have to do to convince my rabbit to like me?  I don’t think she’s afraid of me….  I just think she thinks she’s queen of the universe, and that I am highly unnecessary…  I am very jeolous of all of you whose bunnies love you!  I’ve tried bribing her with food (she doesn’t like any food enough for this to be effective), and leaving her alone to see if she would come to me, and speaking “bunny” at her (as per the “Language of Lagomorphs” website), to no effect…

I adopted Lizzy over the other bunnies in the rescue because in my first meeting with her in the shelter, in the only pen amidst the crowded cages, she jumped into my lap and wanted me to pet her, and did binkies she was so happy…and now she loves her environment and wants nothing to do with me…  It makes me very sad…

I’m a new bunny owner, and ignorant as to the thought process of rabbits…any help is appreciated!

Thanks! 

 

[Sarita]

http://www.bio.miami.edu/hare/shybun.html

Here is a very good article from Dana Krempels about winning over a shy rabbit and I think it does a very good job of explaining why rabbits act the way they act.  I don’t think any of our rabbits “love” or “like” us as this is a human emotion – you really have to work on trust and especially with some rabbits who have been rescued (after all you don’t know what her situation was before she was rescued). 

I do think you have to be careful about what your expectations are about a rabbit – perhaps you have to change your expectations about what you think your rabbit should be like.  Many rabbits take a while to trust their human companions.

She does sound like she enjoys herself outside her cage and just becuase she doesn’t come up to you and want to be cuddled doesn’t mean she isn’t content with her surroundings.  You might just want to consider enjoying her for her antics and just accept that right now.

[Beka27]

my rabbit Meadow is exceptionally lovable… but you need to understand what that means in a “timeframe perspective”. she interacts with us about 15 minutes a day TOTAL. one minute here, two minutes there. spread out over 12 hours or so. it’s rare for her to really stay with us for any length of time, unless we are continually petting her. even then, her limit is about 5 minutes and she’s off again. the rest of the day she plays, and sleeps and eats, and poops and eats more, then poops again.

i think Lizzy sounds normal as far as what bunnies do.

[Lagomorpheus]

I recommend you get a room without anywhere for her to run off to/hide in (close her cage door, for example), and lie down in the middle of the room and give her some time to consider you. I’ve found that most buns are intrigued and take your lying down as submission/non threatening and their curiosity always gets the best of them and they will come to investigate. Try it every day for a couple weeks and she’ll be hopping on top of you in no time.

Don’t be discouraged! Sarita’s advice is excellent and so is Beka’s. ‘Bits are so totally different in their expressions of affection from cats and dogs, for example! Best of luck to you and keep us posted!

[bunnytowne]

Hi. That article about How to Win Over a Shy Bunny   is very good.  I have a magazine that has  Your Rabbits Point of View.  In it there is a pic of a small child reaching down to grab the bunny. To the bunny the hand looks like claws and it is frightened.  True a bunny’s first thoughts til we gain it’s trust is   that it is going to be eaten what to do run, hide, freeze.  It sounds like it will take some time and patience with your bun to win it over. Try to remember it is a prey animal at the bottom of the food chain so it’s first thought is survival. Building trust is sooo important with buns.  Keep trying. There is plenty of time.

[Lightchick]

Thank you all so much for your help and advice and support!

I think Lizzy’s favorite game is to wait until I post a question about her, and then to turn around and do the exact opposite just to prove me wrong!

The day after I asked, “why doesn’t my bunny play with toys or rip or shred or do any of the things other people describe,” she decided to shred her mats in her cage.  She still not a huge fan of toys, but mats are fun to rip pieces out of when there’s nothing better to do, apparently!

And the day after I asked why my rabbit does nothing but sit on the other side of the room and give me the evil eye whenever I move (this is when I hauled her out of her hutch by force, because she refused to come out of her own volition!), she totally turned around!  I didn’t do anything any different, just woke up in the morning, opened her hutch, opened her pen, and she hopped on out!  And everytime I walked past her, she’d hop over and ask for a pet!  No stink-eye in sight!!!

And now when she hangs out with me in the living room, instead of sitting on the other side of the rug, glaring, she has decided that her favorite place to be is at my feet.  So I can sit at the coffee table with my laptop and type at you all, and Lizzy is quite contentedly flopped at my feet, waiting for me to get bored and stratch her head.  And she likes it when I pet her; she doesn’t hop away in disgust1  Again, she decided to do this all on her own!  I have no idea what inspired it! 

I think my bunny now likes me, at least a little!

Here’s Lizzy flopped at my feet, going, “Geez, lay off with the flash-photography!  Some of us are TRYING to rest!”

It’s tough work being the Supreme Ruler of your own little universe!

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[Lightchick]

And thanks for the article…

I did the whole no-distraction-lay-in-the-middle-of-the-room with Lizzy every day for a week straight when I first got her.  She was used to me, and liked being pet after that first week…she just liked it on her own terms.  She never acted shy or scared after about the 2nd day.  She had some territorial/aggression issues, and acted more aloof than anything else.  Sort of like a teenager who likes you well-enough at the moment, if they’re in a good mood and you’ve just given them something, but who can turn around and hate your guts and want nothing to do with you the next moment (I teach high school, can you tell?!). 

She seems to like me more when I establish boundaries (she now knows where she can’t go, and that she is NOT allowed to pounce at me and growl when I reach for her food bowl!) than when I pussy-foot around trying not to “frighten” her.  When I let her have her way in everything, she was an incorrigible bully at me.  Every time I decide I’ve had it, though, and get out the water-sprayer to battle a nasty behavior, she ends up being friendlier afterwards. 

I read all of the websites before I got Lizzy, and they were sometimes very confusing.  They often said, “don’t reach into the rabbit’s home when the rabbit is in there”, and “don’t force the rabbit in/out of its cage,”–but when Lizzy wouldn’t come out on her own, it was either reach in when she was in there, or let her go without food.  But letting her have the cage absolutely to herself just resulted in pouncing/growling/biting, which quickly spread to OUTSIDE the cage, because she thought she was ruler of her universe.  When I was reduced to tears because I had a rabbit I couldn’t go near because she attacked me, I decided to ignore all the websites, because she obviously wasn’t acting like “prey.”  So I reach into her cage to give her food and water, and she is absolutely not allowed to be aggressive.  I don’t torment her in there, or go out of my way to poke at her…it’s her home…but she now knows that I am allowed to be there. 

So we had several weeks of negotiations and a couple more crying jags (that would be last week, when she’d learned not to attack me, but still didn’t particularly like me….if I crawled on elbows and knees across the floor to her, she would ask for a pet,, but she certainly wouldn’t come anywhere near me on her own!).  And now I have a rabbit lying across my feet on her side grooming herself as I type this.  It’s like magic!

I totally agree that people should be told that rabbits are prey animals, and that treating them like dogs is not the right thing to do.  But babying Lizzy and walking on glass around her “prey” instincts just resulted in her being a very mean little critter!  She’s such a good girl now!  She still gives me the stink-eye when I annoy her (“How dare you stand up!  I was perfectly comfortable on your feet!”), but I like having a pet who talks back at me!

I hope this new and improved Lizzy sticks around, and the good behaviour isn’t a phase, too…

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[MarkBun]

Isn’t it amazing how suddenly buns just simply say, “Okey, I like you now,” and everything changes? My Maryann took actually 6 years to do that and then suddenly, she hopped onto my lap while I was on the couch and began giving me kisses. I thought I was dying or something!

[Beka27]

LIGHTCHICK!!! that was so well put! you are absolutely right. what it really comes down to is every rabbit is DIFFERENT!!! some rabbits need to be told who’s boss… and you are not doing anything wrong by asserting yourself. rabbits are really into heirarchy, and it’s important that you are top bun. as time goes on and you get to know her personality, you’re going to figure out what exactly works for you guys. that is part of the fun… ;o)

[bunnytowne]

Lightchick I am soo glad you went ahead and asserted yourself with her.  When Cotton was jealous and would attack my face I was reluctant to correct him. Finally did it and he is much better too. He wasnt’ that bad when I got the girls but he needed a little correction once and then he was fine. You are right depends on what is happening with the buns head. ahahaa. Great work glad it is working out for both of you. That is sooooo cute how she lounges at your feet.. I luv it.  Yes aren’t they something. I wish you the best of progress with your cute bun. Seems you have it under control.

[kralspace]

Awww, Lightchick,

I loved your story! Sounds like Lizzy has accepted you as either the head bun, or at least acceptable servant…lol

I too have a headstrong Diva, when I call her ‘the lovely Pringles’, I’m doing it with tongue in cheek because she can be a real lunging snorter. Since she was my first bun, the other 4 seem very very tame. I like one that talks back too, or at least makes their likes and dislikes known

congrats, Kathy

[babybunsmum]

lizzy the diva… lol

what a cute read this thread is!  i can totally relate to your story too.  i think buns really respond to a ‘no nonsense’ approach when it comes to their care and freedom to choose their own level of social behaviour follows.  one thing i know for sure… buns always keep you guessing!

[Lightchick]

I’m so glad to know that there are other Diva Bunnies out there!

After all that reading about “prey animals” and “don’t scare your bunny” I was so afraid to discipline her in any way!  I thought I was a bad Bunny-Mom…until I thought, forget this!  This rabbit does NOT think she’s prey!  She thinks she owns ME!

Lizzy-Monster had a relapse of brattiness this morning. 

I opened her pen so she could come out and hop around the room, and she hunkered down in the corner of her cage and glared at me.  I thought, oh, no, here we go!  Friday is cage-cleaning day, and she’s expended her 3 weeks of doing things in her own time-frame, and I had to clean her cage and move on with my day. 

So I pulled her litter box out of the other side of the cage, and she pounced.  And I yelled “NO!”, and back the ears went, and the stink-eye commenced.  And I reached in again, still on the other side of the cage, mind you, and she charged across the cage at me.  “NO!”, and a finger-pointed at her.  So then it was war, and I had to pull out the water-squirter, which I had retired to under the sink.  She actually doesn’t really mind getting squirted…it doesn’t surprise her at all, the know-it-all!…but it’s a physical action to couple with the shouting, so I do it anyway.  Back and forth we went. 

And then that half of the cage was cleaned, and I had to do the half she was hunkered down in.  Sigh.  There was no way she was going to come out on her own.  I thought, maybe if I reach in to get a food dish she’ll scamper out the door to get away from me, and then I can finish.  Nope, she growled at me, instead.  So I gave up and hauled her out of the cage and banished her to the living room.  I say “banish,” but she would LIVE in the living room if I let her!  She gets to sit in front of the window and smell the breeze and run in circles around the coffee table and jump on the sofa.  So to the living room she went, and foot-flicked on the way across the room. 

When I was done cleaning, I offered her a lettuce, at which she turned up her nose in disgust.  But she lies!  I knew she wanted it, and sure enough, when I turned my back she gobbled it up.  So she sulked on the other side of the room, and I ignored her and did my thing, and before I knew it, here comes Lizzy, trying to look nonchalant about wandering over (rabbits are not particularly good about looking nonchalant, what with the hopping, and all!).  “Oh, I was just heading this direction anyway!  There was a very interesting smell I was following…I certainly don’t want anything to do with YOU!  But since you’re here, pet my head!  And I’ll need you to move your feet so I can flop between them.  Now about that scritch on the head you owe me…!”

The best part about everything you all have told me is that now I know not to take her pouncing and whatnot personally.  It’s not that she hates me…  It’s just that she wants what SHE wants and occassionally that conflicts with what I want!

Have any of you seen the camera commercial with the bouncing Pomeranian?  “You do not own me, tennis-champion!  Oh wait…you do..”  Thats what she reminds me of…

[Beka27]

hahahahahaha….. you are so funny! you’re right, they don’t do “nonchalence” very well…

i always banish the buns when i celan. too many times i’ve been bending over and got a nice big bite on my nice big behind!

[kralspace]

hahaha, sounds like YOUR training is coming along nicely…….lol

that’s why my craigslist handle is OwnedByBunnies!

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

You’re posts are sooo fun to read!! I totally feel like I know your little Diva Bunny!!

[BinkyBunny]

I am so glad you figured out what works for you. That is one thing I know about rabbits, though there may be some “basics” with care and behavior, they are ALWAYS breaking the rules, and what works for one rabbit does not work with another. (I say that in the “about us” page) That’s why I think a forum is necessary because someone will always have a different experience that will help someone else. I think this one will be one of those.

By the way – I have that exact VERY same rug! I chose it because it had blues and greens in it, and I know rabbits can see those two colors for sure.
You’d be able to see the rug on the webcam (as if you’d need to run to the webcam to see our matching rugs in the first place) but the webcam is not working right now.

[babybunsmum]

Posted By Lightchick on 07/04/2008 1:35 PM

The best part about everything you all have told me is that now I know not to take her pouncing and whatnot personally.  It’s not that she hates me…  It’s just that she wants what SHE wants and occassionally that conflicts with what I want!

Have any of you seen the camera commercial with the bouncing Pomeranian?  “You do not own me, tennis-champion!  Oh wait…you do..”  Thats what she reminds me of…

lolz…. i love that commercial!  both my buns have very different personalities yet they share that attitude in common

it took me a long time to understand baby bun’s stand-offish personality and not take it personally.  i can totally relate to your situation.  as soon as you can laugh at it like you’re doing then you have it made… and so, of course, does you bun

[bunnytowne]

ohhhh you got the footflick Lightchick ahaaahaa. I been getting those and thumps too. Yeah Cotton will certainly tell me when he is upset. grunt growl box dig furiously. They are a trip those buns. So you got a diva huh?

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