What does my bunny think of me?

[Lydia]

I’ve had my rabbit, Toasty, for about 6-7 months so far. (He’s been neutered, he’s a Holland Lop and he gets lots of attention, food and care.)

I’ve struggled with lots of anxiety ever since last year and I’m always overthinking so it may just be me overreacting- but I just get the feeling that Toasty doesn’t trust me, nor enjoy spending time with me. I feel like the only thing we bond over is head rubs, other than food. He likes to wait on his pillow and glare at me until I start petting him, but when he’s had enough he tosses his head so I stop and then he hops away. It may just be because he wants to eat or groom himself, but I’m a very uncertain person so I can never trust myself to know for sure.

He also only comes when there’s food. As soon as I give him a treat or a timothy hay stick he snatches it and runs away. Whenever I lay down and try to hold + snuggle him or make him sleep on my stomach he gets annoyed and rests near my ankles instead. And while I’m well aware rabbits don’t like being handled I’ve even tried giving him pets and his favorite treats to make him comfortable, but even if he’s just a few inches off the ground he gets upset. I’ve resorted to the fact that the best bonding we have is when he sits next to me, off in another world.

But there’s something else about Toasty that’s distant and wary. Yes, after a few hours of no socialization he’s always excited to see me, but soon loses interest when I try to give him affection and play with him. I guess he isn’t touchy-feely? or maybe he hasn’t warmed up to me yet even after 7 months? I don’t know. Is there anything I can do so that he’ll like me a bit more? Also, he’s shedding currently- does anyone have tips for that?

[LBJ10]

Sounds like a normal teenage bunny to me.

[DanaNM]

I would say it sounds like he likes you, but you should play ‘hard to get’! 😉 And stop trying to pick him up or force cuddles on him. Most bunnies as a rule don’t like that, and it’s very hard to train them to actually like it. My bunnies all like it best when I spend time on the floor with them, and they all have very specific times of day when they want pets. Just a bunny relaxing near you shows that they trust you, even if they aren’t snuggling up on you.

Hand feeding is a way of bonding with the bunny. You also might like to do some clicker training with him, to make it more interesting and enriching.

I also agree that he sounds like a sassy teenager 🙂 I have always thought the little head toss and run away thing was very cute. I know my buns sometimes do that when I tickle their ears a certain way. And they also get moody when they are molting!

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

[Lydia]

Thanks for responding! Toasty is indeed a sassy boy and I have done a bit of clicker training so he comes when called, but I do want to teach him more tricks. I also will admit that I’m very clingy so I will do my best to refrain! But I have succeeded in him tolerating me picking him up for short periods of time as long as he gets a treat afterwards. He’s quite similar to me as we’re in the same age zone (he’s about 16+ in rabbit years) and both of us are pretty moody, so maybe it’s just the effect I have on him. I’ll try to be softer towards him and maybe teach him some tricks with the hand-feeding idea. Hopefully within a few months he’ll be out of his grouchy phase!

[DanaNM]

Sounds like a good plan! Rabbits are social animals, but as prey they are quite different than an animal like a dog. Rabbits will watch out for each other, and even bonded pairs spend part of the day doing their own thing. Sometimes when you spend too much focus on your rabbit, they can feel a bit threatened, like they are being watched by a predator. Picking the rabbit up a lot adds to this fear. So when you are hanging out with him, it might be fun to try to “think like a bunny”. A good bunny companion would help watch out for predators, would give some grooms when requested (when the bun puts his head down for nose rubs), and often will just hang out with the other bunny not doing much of anything. We have the added benefit of being able to provide food as well, so that makes the relationship even more special to the bun.

 

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

[pinkiemarie]

I have the best luck when I sit and ignore mine. They get curious about why I’m not bugging them and start crawling on my legs and stuff. I think ignoring them makes them feel safe. Going back to predators, a predator would not ignore them so it helps them feel trusting.

I only pick them up if I absolutely have to. To me picking them up is like saying I love you, but to them there’s an instinctual fear and even the best trained bunnies never really get over that fear. Bunnies are amazing, but you have to interact on their terms. Not wanting to be handled doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you! In time after you stop picking him up he’ll probably want more cuddles too because he’ll trust you more. When I get off work and Clover sees me she runs over to this one specific spot on the floor. It’s her petting spot and it means she wants me to lie down and pay attention to her. She and I have been buddies long enough for me to know she doesn’t hang out there unless she wants attention. It’s a subtle signal because it’s pretty passive but she’s asking for pets in way that makes sense to her.

Also keep in mind that in bunny relationships the dominant rabbit gets groomed and rarely grooms the other rabbit. Since I’m always petting them I kind of wonder if they all think they’re dominant over me. But that might help explain why he wants to be petted sometimes without necessarily returning the cuddles.

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