Was it my fault…

[Buddybam1411]

I am absolutely devastated. But I think even that is an understatement.

I have two dogs and my rabbit. Who have happily lived in harmony for the past 2 years. (The dogs are only 2).

My beautiful Bam. She’d survived 2 rounds of snuffles (though did still show signs of it – which had become more recently). She was a tough cookie. We never let her out when the dogs were around and we were so so careful.

Yesterday evening. We let the dogs out for a wee as normal and I followed to go and feed Bam. That’s when my husband and I heard this awful, blood curdling scream. We ran out and saw Bam over shadowed by our two dogs at the top of the garden. We rushed over and I scooped Bam up. She seemed fine. No marks. Bit wet from wet dog noses but no injuries. No blood. She seemed ok. Snuggled in my arms whilst I’m calmly trying to talk to her. I was naturally sobbing at the time but trying to be calm. We got her indoors and away from any animals and she went stiff. And then relaxed. And that’s when she passed. We rushed her to the vets and the vets examined her and reassured us that the dogs weren’t being aggressive and had they wanted to hurt her – they would’ve done in the timeframe it took us to get to them which was less than 10-15seconds.

She’d got out of her hutch. We don’t know how but the door was wide open. The dogs can’t get it open and it wasn’t open earlier that day. The dogs had been in the garden earlier in the day and she was obviously in her hutch then so we can only assume she somehow managed to scratch it open.

I am devestated. Why me? Why her? Why didn’t I check she was in her hutch before I let the dogs out? Why didn’t I rush to the vet? (I think I knew she was dying from the moment I picked her up) why didnt I try to resuscitate her? Why didn’t I check her hutch earlier in the day? I’m angry at the dogs but then I get angry at myrself for being angry because they really did nothing. They just went up to her and sniffed her. Why didn’t I pay her more attention? Why didn’t I play with her more? Why why why?!

She was such a happy and calm bunny she didn’t need a lot of stimulation. I got her toys. She never played with them. She was just so calm.

I had a gut feeling she wouldn’t make it through winter with her snuffles getting worse and her self hygiene had been going down to the point where I had to bath her and trim her bottom hair.

I’m just so scared that her last memories will be being scared and not of the last cuddles she had with my husband and I. And that she was in pain. I’m absolutely distraught and can’t stop crying. I can’t sleep. I don’t want to do anything. I miss her so much it hurts

I will be grateful for any advise or anything anyone has to say.

Thank you and I’m sorry if this distresses anyone

Xx

[September]

Oh Buddybam, I really don’t know what to say that is going to make you feel better or take away the pain and the guilt right at this moment. I can only say that I feel for you so much.I lost my Timothy suddenly about 6 weeks ago. I found him passed away on the kitchen floor when I got home from work. I still carry the guilt that I should have known he was sick, guilt that I should have done more, guilt that I didn’t get him to the vets, guilt that should have spent more time with him, guilt for things I didn’t do, guilt for things I did do, guilt that he died alone. And just when you think there is nothing else left that you can feel guilty about, something else comes along and hits you in the face. Your mind plays nasty tricks as far as guilt is concerned. I still cry everyday so I am still grieving, and the ‘if only’s’ are still with me, but the guilt is not so raw. I am trying to focus on the happy times, not Timothy’s last day, but it is taking time. I am so sorry.

[Sirius&Luna]

i’m so sorry for your loss. Bunnies have weak hearts, and my vet told me that sometimes they can just die from shock. I’m sure she wasn’t hurt, and you were holding her for her last moments. Since the vet couldn’t find any injuries on her she wouldn’t have been in pain.
It’s so easy to feel guilty when your pets die, but that doesn’t help. Try and remember the happy life she had.

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