Warning disturbing content: Terrible accident, guilt and grief

[alltheprettybunnies]

Warning: contains description of horrible bunny accident. Sensitive readers may want to avoid.

I am so glad I found this forum. I’ve been lurking for a few months but this is my first post. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. The guilt is killing me.

My Flemish doe was was a house rabbit, hand-reared by me since I got her at 7 weeks, spoiled rotten, our queen bunny. She was afraid of nothing and chose my Siberian Husky as a suitable first mate. In fact the night before she died she groomed his feet, licking him like crazy. There will never be another like her. It was my honor to protect and love her as long as I got to. She was my baby. I once shouted at a murder of crows and chased them away the first time she ever went outside because she hunkered down when they began cawing. Anyway…

Alice was my first bunny. I cannot stop crying because I miss HER. Not just a nice lovely rabbit but my rabbit- that particular rabbit- so much it feels like someone punches me in the chest each time I think about it. She was extraordinary. Why do I feel so silly saying that about a bunny? She was only 5 months old.

On Friday night she was perfect. Hopping around everywhere, terrorizing the cat. She was going through puberty so she was something else- marking territory and generally acting like a teen. Her spay was scheduled for 10/10/17 and we saw an end in sight to some of her less attractive behavior.

Friday night she leapt onto the sofa beside my husband and immediately began to urinate in his direction. She hadn’t ever done anything like that before so he screeched and picked her up- and she was angry and scared so she struggled to get away and she… she fell hard onto her side and just lay there.

I started screaming. I fell on my knees beside her and ran my hands all over her. Then she stood up for a minute and wobbled over to her crate. It was a Great Dane sized dog crate modified for bunny so she could walk in and out. She weighed 11 lbs and she was feisty so I made a point of not picking her up.

There was a small 1-2 inch lip where the door was and when she came to it she fell down and couldn’t drag her back legs over it. She fell and sat there scrabbling to drag herself forward. I helped her up and into her huge litter box settling her into the soft hay. I was sobbing.

My husband was stricken. I gave her meloxicam and lay on the floor beside her all night, stroking her. She dragged herself out at some point and she snuggled me. I must have cried myself to sleep. At 6 I woke up again and she was on the fireplace step. She was trying to get to some pellets but she pushed herself backwards and fell upside down and she couldn’t move to stand back up.

So I took her to the local vet hospital and they took some radiographs, tested her for EC (negative) and then we learned her back was broken so we decided to put her to sleep.

My whole family was with me. We all were shown into a dimly lit sitting room and allowed to spend as long as we liked with her. We were there for about 9 hours total.

She was a delight. I have had every sort of pet. Horses, goats, dogs & cats and birds. I get it that life is a series of pets. My children have grown up understanding that life is a circle.

Nothing has ever hurt like this. My oldest dog died last May but he had a long illness so I had time to prepare myself.

Before Alice I had no idea that bunnies could be so clever and hilarious and affectionate. I’ve made a framed collage for her and planted a tree over her grave. The first thing I did when I came home Saturday was remove every trace of her… and now I miss the smell of hay. I miss turning onto my street and no matter what had happened that day almost laughing to myself with joy because of my big fat beautiful bunny rabbit.

People don’t seem to understand my sorrow. When my dog died I got a few cards and taken out for drinks. People don’t know that rabbits are every bit as smart and living as dogs. This morning my sister sent me a link to a baby Flemish doe nearby. She totally doesn’t understand. Alice isn’t replaceable. I feel so conflicted about getting another bun. They’re so fragile and I killed one of the biggest, most sturdy bunnies around… why would I risk another buns life?

Thanks for listening. I’m typing this through tears on my phone so please forgive any typos and the rambling.

https://imgur.com/gallery/nz5dJ

[Serenity]

I’m so, so, so sorry! Just know it’s not your fault and accidents happen. Tell your husband it’s not his fault because I get the feeling he must feel terrible about it too. Rabbits are SO skittish, sometimes they react differently than we expect them to and terrible things happen. I am all too acquainted with grief and can tell you that you have every right to be torn up. Please let yourself grieve but don’t feel guilty, it is NOT your fault. We understand, losing a pet is terrible.

xxBinky free, Alice! We’ll all miss youxx

[pinknfwuffy]

I can’t begin to imagine what you and your husband must be going through. These kinds of things are so unexpected and unpredictable, especially with rabbits. They are fast, fearful, and powerful. Those qualities make them majestic and, sadly, very prone to accidents no matter how much we try to protect them. It wasn’t your fault. You clearly loved Alice and gave her a happy home. She knew that, too. You gave her the best life and helped release her from any suffering. Those who don’t own rabbits may never understand but we all feel for you here.

Binky free, Alice.

[bunnybuns]

This was heartbreaking to read. I’m so sorry this has happened to you.

Please don’t think that you can’t take care of a new bunny because of this accident. Maybe, in time, when you feel that need for bunny affection and licks again, start a new beggining with a new bunny who will adore you just the way your precious Alice did and STILL does. It’s a tremendlously hard time for a knowledgeable and loving bunny owner to lose a precious fur baby. People don’t understand that loveable bond that you had with Alice. Alice will never be replaced even if you do decide eventually for a new rabbit, because she will always be there in your heart and watching you over the rainbow bridge where she is healed and happy.

((Binky free little Alice))

[Boston's Mama]

I cannot imagine
I’m so sorry you are going through this
And your poor husband.
Don’t let a freak accident ruin the chance another bunny could have of being loved by you both, it was an accident – no indication of the bunny parents you are
Heal first – then see how you feel

[Author]

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