Trying to Carry On; the next installment in this journey

[Lion_Lop_Lover]

Hi everyone,

I haven’t really posted the last week or so. I went home for several days (Thursday to Saturday), and then I brought my younger brother (16 yo) up to my city and he stayed with me until today – he’s on the bus back home right now.

It’s been 8 days since I saw or spoke to Nick…and …I have to admit, I don’t feel great at all. I’m on 20 mg of Celexa, and I’m on .05 mg of Clorazepam once a day. I was supposed to go off of the Clorazepam this past Saturday, but I got scared that all my anxiety would return so I’ve been just taking less than I used to. I’m supposed to go see the doctor this Friday to update him. But maybe this is part of Clorazepam’s addictive nature? Making you scared of the anxiety returning so you don’t want to go off it?

I feel very depressed and tired. The drowsy-side effect of both drugs took me over; I’ve felt quite out of it lately. Going home was not a relaxed time…I took mom shopping for her birthday, tried to be cheery and happy the whole time, but was quite sad underneath because of my parents’ troubles and missing Sandy…it was so weird being home and not having Sandy there…

Anyway, having my brother stay here was strange too…because I’ve been “deprived” of male contact for the last month, you know – aside from your usual chatting with a guy here or there – it was weird having my brother here, in the apartment. The last person to stay here overnights was Nick…so having another guy, I know it’s my brother but, like…it was just weird and it made me miss Nick so so so much.

Just feel so alone. My barn owner is still being standoffish with me…and while I was home I didn’t get a chance to really talk to many friends. I have been spending a lot of time with Misty since I got back on Saturday night.

I took my brother out on Sunday to see Misty and see Kayo also. I rode Misty for about 10 minutes.

I love the new barn where Misty is, the only problem is one boarder who has the nickname ‘crazy Kate.’ She thinks she owns the barn and she’s very snobby to me. She has a high-strung Arab gelding that she bought as a foal and trained herself, but with very bad training measures, so he’s horrible…

And yesterday, I went to see Misty and the barn was quiet, so I decided to ride myself…and suddenly I saw someone peeking in the door. It was Crazy Kate spying on me riding!

After I finished riding, I was untacking Misty and Kate goes “So how much weight can Misty hold?” and I said ‘Well, she weighs about 700 pounds” – Kate interrupted and said ‘What? No way! my horse weighs 950, no way she weighs 700!” and I said ‘Well, I weight-taped her around 700, plus she’s half-Shetland pony so she’s very strong.” So Kate said ‘So how much weight?” and I said ‘Well, I wouldn’t do more than 170/180, but she’s very sturdy” and Kate scoffed and said ‘I would never put that much weight on her!” and she walked away.

I am at my heaviest weight right now, I’m about 160 something…I used to be 130, which was great for Misty, so yes I’m a bit heavy on Misty right now but seriously, she’s very sturdy and can hold me. I think it was Crazy Kate’s “not so polite” way of telling me I was too big for Misty. Well, tough for you Crazy Kate, because she’s not your problem…!

But that made me feel bad, because I’m trying to lose the weight; I’m so stressed out and Misty has been my escape lately…and then to have this snob lecture me? Ugh…

Anyway…today I have a horrible headache and a long day of classes. I do have an appointment with my counsellor this afternoon. But I miss Nick incredibly. I don’t really know what to do. I get by each day, but I feel so miserable.

[Beka27]

i’m sorry… you have so much going on right now.  people are going to be crappy whenever they feel like it.  i’d try to steer clear of that nutcase.  she obviously has no clue what she’s talking about.

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

ERRRGGG…I know *exactly* the crazy kate your talking about! Seriously most barns have one…What a loser. Trust me, she’s ruined that horse she “trained herself”. She has less horse sense then a city person who’s never been around one. She’s just being a jerk. Next time she talks to you respond with “oh” “really” “uh uh” …Don’t answer her questions, she’s just trying to get you riled up and angry; And you know why? Becuase your new and she’s feeling challenged. People like that have no self esteem, she has to make people feel bad anyway she can, and she has to be mean to her horse for challenging her, that’s why she’s ruined him.

Trust me, she’s a loser. Don’t talk to her. Answer her questions with a “why do you want to know? You sure are nosey” “I don’t have time to chat today” or a simple “oh” or nod or whatever. Are you older then her? You could give her the ol “oh maybe you just think that because your young and you don’t know better yet?” LOL!! Don’t give her the time of day. And trust me, she bothered you cuz she saw how well you ride, and she can’t ride that well….Her poor hosrse..

Although It might not feel like it yet, it sounds like things are going better in terms of you lowering your dosage, and getting back in the swing of things.

**********HUGS**********

[wendyzski]

Getting your dosage down slowly can work, but have you talked it over with your doc?  It is a scary step, but has he taught you what to DO if the anxiety starts coming back?  It just doesn’t go away – you have to deal with it, and ignoring it with meds won’t work because it will still be there.  The point of those meds is to buy you time – get some sleep and take the edge off things so you are better prepared for things.  The point of cognitive-behavioral therapy is to teach you ways to deal with things with fewer or even no meds.

Have you tried any of those self-reminding exercises?  I know you can get into some negative self-talk (you’ve done it with me on IM) but you can train yourself to stop that.  You can start with either setting a timer, putting post-it’s around your apartment, or just something like “whenever I look at my watch” or “whenever I see something yellow”.  When that happens, you stop and think of something positive that is going on right now.  The sky is lovely, Misty was really silly this morning, I love these shoes, my bunbun probably binkying around my apartment right now.  Make sure you pick something immediate, even if it’s small – just something that can make you smile, something that you’re proud of or thankful for. 

Once you get used to it, then you can transition it to “something good in my life” – things like “I am really more patient that I give myself credit for”, or “I was a really good friend today”.  It’s these little things that can sort of check that downward spiral where you get so lost.

It sounds really stupid and obvious, but it does work.  A friend of mine had a blog on LiveJournal, and she tried to post a “what makes you smile today” as often as she can (she is partially disabled, so sometimes she has to miss a day).  Not only do I look forward to reading what other people say, and telling her what I think, but I find myself going through my day and noticing little happy things and thinking “I have to remember to post that to Capi”.

(*and yes – barnbeeotch is an asshat.  There are people who are so insecure about themselves that they can only feel good by putting other people down.  She’s trying to get you – I feel kind of sorry for her and for her horse.  She doesn’t know any better*)

[babybunsmum]

you’ve gotten some great adivce here lion lop.  i have to agree with them about crazy kate…  clearly she has serious self esteem issues.  she’s feeling threatened by you because you’re new & so she tries to pick apart what you do in an attempt to knock you down below her.  just blow her off.  there are plenty of respectful ways to do that, just like k&k suggests… dont answer her questions.  smile & nod when you realize she’s trying to press your buttons, or ask her questions like “why do you ask” or  “why do you want to know that”.  

i think talking to your doc about stepping off the chlorazepam is the best thing.  as wendyski mentions, cognitive behavioural therapy is really a great idea to learn different ways to handle anxiety and while you’re on the meds is the time to start learning.  also the techniques she mentions are very interesting… puposefully thinking about happy things really *does* help.  you’re a very intelligent and self-aware person… you’ll do well with this and be just fine!  

have you ever heard about EFT (emotional freedom technique)?  its sort of on the same note as what wendyski talks about.  in a nutshell, ita a technique that helps you become more self aware and self accepting.  here’s a link to learn more if you’re interested: http://www.emofree.com/ .  my abbreviated version… when i’m really feeling anxiety creep up or when i notice i’m stuck in a self-critical rut… is to repeat the mantra “i deeply love and accept myself”.  sounds ridiculous, i know, but it really does center me.  probably because most of my anxiety issues are about not being perfect AND because it forces me to slow down my thoughts.

its so great that you have misty for your ‘feel good’ escape.  (((hugs)))

[bunnytowne]

yep thats right there is an idiot in every barn. trying to tell everyone what to do and they are incorrect anyway.   donkeys are very strong animals and you see them loaded up with things when used in poor countries and shetlands are about the same very strong can pull carts of stuff you know your horse best so go relax on him just tell her I am too busy to talk right now. leave me be right now and such. keep doing what relaxes you and realize there are ignorant jealous people everywhere. sounds like crazy Kate has earned her nickname

[MimzMum]

I think everyone here has said how I feel, let me just add a few cents….

If there’s something I’ve had to learn the hard way, it’s that ‘you can’t cure normal’…meaning that, of course you’re going to feel bad after someone you’ve cared for deeply has left you. That is normal. Yes, medicine can help ease you through that situation, but it can’t do all the work for you, you’ll have to try to find what is still full of love and joy in your life and concentrate on that. Concentrate on the fact that your life WILL return to a brighter time.
I also use the minimal dosage of anti-anxiety meds, (currently, Zoloft for anxiety and Ambien for sleep), but have fought to drop them since I realized I haven’t dealt with the issues that started me taking them. The benzocaines (sp?) are the hardest to wean off of-things like lorazepam, diazepam, etc.- but it can be done. If you do try to go cold turkey, depending on how long you have been taking the chlorazepam, it will actually be more distressing than if you drop your dosage slower, but go with your doc’s recommendations. I was on them for a year and a half, but I also had other medications in my system that made it hard to quit. Plus it was during the time that I was on chemotherapy for breast cancer, and the second round really messed with my head, so I was prescribed these meds for a rather defeatist and self-harming tendency I was going on because I was so tired of chemo and was of the mindset that it wasn’t going to help, so what was the point? (I know now that this was the chemo talking, not me…so I am not as afraid of myself and my thoughts as I was then.)

I have always had the habit of seeing the worst in things, and it was, surprisingly, the ‘valley of death’ so to speak, that made me realize I am glad for every day I have now…and one lifetime, despite all it’s pitfalls, is not nearly enough. There is so much I can give to others, there are so many ways I can help where it’s needed. It’s a definite reorientation of my focus. And when that happens, life truly begins anew for you and you can see you’re out of the valley and on top of the mountain.

And of course, we are here for you. ^^ Do not despair. My mother once wrote to me that even beyond the words, “I love you,” the words, “I am here” (you are no longer alone), are the most precious of human language.

Oh, and peeps that don’t have anything nice to say are legion in our society, sadly. I’d hate to see you stoop to her level, but perhaps as far as this barn witch is concerned, tell her to hitch her saddle to a broom and give that poor horse a break. Seriously, some folks just shouldn’t be allowed to keep ANY animal, imo.

Hang in there Loppy. We’re all pulling for you! ^^ You’re doing very well considering what you’ve been through!

[Lion_Lop_Lover]

Thank you guys…

I had my meeting with the counselor yesterday, and I told him I just felt miserable, all the time. And then I was angry. And so I said I was “miserably angry” all the time. That I’ve lost the part of me that was “me” with Nick – that comfortable part of you that can walk around naked in front of another person and they don’t care; or flop into their lap and sleep… like, I obviously can’t do that with anyone else, and my counselor said it’s as though I have lost a part of my identity.

I got 2 papers back yesterday; from 2 Anthropology courses; I got a 70/100 on one (a takehome midterm), and a B+ on the other (book review). I had a quick moment of ‘Oh, crap! That’s not an A!’ and then I just didn’t care. I have this 2000 word essay to write for the rest of the week; I want to get it done today so badly…and I just don’t care about how good it is, you know?

I hate my Monday/Wed/Fri’s because of my class that Nick is in. I just fear going for fear of seeing him. It just sucks. We have 12 more classes of it including today, till the end of term. Just 12. but that’s still a lot.

Anyway…I feel like I’ve been cut off from my physically here friends… my barn owner (where Kayo is) still seems to be being standoffish with me, Lauren is busy as heck with midterms, and I haven’t heard from Vanessa in several weeks… I just feel like I’ve stopped talking about it to everyone…but just still feel so miserable.

I don’t know. I feel “weird” – in that miserably/angry/devastated/ sort of way?

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

LL *hugs!!*

Those are pretty darn good grades considering what you were going through!! In fact, they are pretty darn good grades no matter what! *pats on back* I think you’ll pull through the semester just fine

I wonder, does your school have online registration etc. for classes? The reason I ask, is here, if a class your registered in just doesn’t work for you, you can online search when the same class, same prof is teaching it in other slots…For instance, most people dont’ like 0800 class and attend the 1400 class-same class same prof, same day; Just a better time! Soooo….If your school does that then *maybe* the class you have with Nick, you could look up other times and attend another one? Just a thought

[Lion_Lop_Lover]

It’s a good suggestion, but not possible for this class.

I saw him walking from class; just his back… but it made me get that queasy scared feeling in my stomach. I tried to convince myself it wasn’t him, as I only saw him for about 4 seconds (his back, nonetheless) but I know that hair, that coat, backpack, his walk…

And I just feel sick to my stomach right now.

How am I supposed to ‘get over him’? I don’t know how to do this…! I feel so hung up on him

[Annie Fann]

speaking from experience, i don’t think there’s really such a thing as “getting over him”. you have to come to terms with it and accept it. there’s no set time that this should happen. i like to think of it as “moving on”. and you can’t force yourself to move on either. its okay to not want to move on just yet. give yourself whatever time you need. its different for everyone. but one day you’ll realize you’ve stopped thinking about him. it may not be tomorrow. it may not be next week. it may not be next month or next year. it took me two years to move on from a 6 month relationship. but maybe that’s just because i always give a lot of myself no matter how long the relationship. so don’t worry about not being there yet. noone can tell you when you should move on or how. you will get there yourself when the time is right. and then you’ll be able to look at him and feel like a stronger person. this is something i learned and im passing along. i hope it helps you somehow.

[Lion_Lop_Lover]

*is feeling weird*

I just had a knock on the door; went to answer it and this MAJOR hottie was there…I was like, “Um, hi?” and he pointed down and said “You have a package…it’s been there for a few days” (I use my patio door always) not the apartment front door…
I said “Oh! Thanks…thanks…”

And he walked off…
And the package was my 4 books from Amazon.ca that I bought on how to get over a relationship.

Damn…hot guy…I think he lives next to me…but the couple next to me is gay….hrmmm…

Oh well, I’m excited my books are here! Now I have something to read and hopefully help to heal me!

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

Well, maybe he’s friends with them and not gay…or maybe he has hot non-gay friends…or….

Good stuff checking out guys though! LOL

[Scarlet_Rose]

Oh who cares?  You can still look whether they are or not…YOU GO GIRL!!! Now I want pictures of this hottie!!! 

[RabbitPam]

Lion Lop,
Glad you’re back. You got a special delivery from your Guardian Angel! (I hear GA’s can take human form, like hot guys)

Everyone has already said great advice that I agree with. Polite brush offs for the crazy K. and turning your attention fully on Misty will work eventually.

Email your buds and they can call you.

As for seeing Nick, you’ll just get that visceral reaction to seeing him, especially unexpectedly, for a while. I’m hoping that after the semester ends you will no longer be around him, so it will just be your thoughts to work through, not his actual presence in your life. Definitely try the cognitive therapy and give it time. How professional is your counselor? Is it a campus grad student or a fully degreed therapist? You may want to move on to someone more effective for you.

When we go through a crisis sometimes we just run on empty to get us through, but once it’s over it’s easy to deflate like a popped balloon. You have been holding it together at home for a week. You’ve been coping with your parent’s situation, your terrible double whammy losses, new meds, worries about school. Now you’re back, you can stop emotionally supporting your brother, WHEW. I would be concerned if you didn’t suddenly just start bawling for “no reason.” You can let go now, in the privacy of your home with your bunny. (They never tell our secrets.) And actually, you CAN walk around nudie patootie without worry because it’s your place again. (But keep a robe handy by the front door in case Angel Boy stops by again.)

Excellent grades. My brother got his MBA at nights after working full time, for 7 years, and the company paid as long as he got better than a C. The real world doesn’t demand straight A’s. Just do your best, whatever someone else grades it. Learning is the part that counts, not the final score.

[babybunsmum]

oooh some eye candy next door… nice score!  lol    i share my driveway with a hottie ‘neighbor boy’ who is way too young for me but i enjoy the view never-the-less.  it’ll be fun to find out more about this mysterious hot guy who lives near you.  regardless of his status… enjoy the view!  oh, and you can always practise your flirt with him – even if he is gay.  (((hugs)))

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

LOL that is totally true bbm!

[Lion_Lop_Lover]

Well, I’m going to look at houses tomorrow! We have 3 appointments lined up…I hope it’s a good experience!
I’m looking forward to it, which is good…!

I just spent 2 hours at Kayo’s barn freezing my toes off while the farrier was there (he was 1/2 hour late!) and literally, my toes were so cold they hurt so bad – you know the feeling? Gah…they’re only just warming up now and I’ve been home about 20 minutes.

I got an email from my barn owner (where Kayo is) because she hadn’t been able to be there with the farrier, so I went instead to hold her horse and stuff, and she had sent me an email just asking me if I wanted to switch kayo’s feed, etc, etc, … remember she had been really standoffish lately to me? anyway, I sent her a friendly email back and said at the end “Hope I see you soon! It’s been a while since we were able to hang out!”

and here’s part of what she sent back:

I’ve been super busy the last couple of weeks, but honestly I enjoyed
> just having a few days all to myself to unwind from all the stress of
> those around me. It seems like everyone I know is always in a state of
> chaos regarding some aspect of their life or another, and it is draining
> to be constantly having to deal with that. BF and I lead a happy,
> peaceful life and it was nice to just enjoy that for what it is for a
> while. Like a mini-vacation from my living room.
>

—
I agree, lots of drama can be draining…but she also told me that good friends will be there for each other no matter what, if you need to call at 3 am you can, etc etc… and like, it’s been just over 1 month since I broke up with Nick. We were together 4 1/2 years. I’m far from “over it” and I hate how she makes it sound like supporting me is some kind of hassle. I’d love to have her life; she’s “great” – got the stable bf, house, horses, dogs, etc.

I don’t know…I just feel like she’s contradicting herself, telling me way back when that she was there for me through it all, and she’s just blown me off lately… leaving only you guys really.

[RabbitPam]

Sounds like if you were the only one, she’d be there for you. She’s got other people with problems leaning on her too? “Everyone” implies that, but then, you could say the same if you counted your parents, brothers, and crazy people lurking around the barn.

I’ve known women who felt kind of threatened when a friend’s relationship goes south. They tend to cling to their own and exaggerate their happiness – especially if deep down they know it isn’t quite so “perfect.” It’s kind of a fear that breakups might be contageous.(sp?) Keep it light with her and don’t lose her completely.

You’ve heard the expression “Fair-weather friends”? Those are the pals that disappear when you aren’t fun or up for a party but really need them. I’ve had the weird experience of having what I call “Foul-weather friends.” They are the ones who find me when life hits them hard, they could use a therapist, and just cry to me. Once their issues get resolved then they disappear on me! If they would just call me to go to a movie or shopping – just to hang out and be silly, but they seem to find other friends to play with after the crisis is over. I don’t know which is worse.

Wish I could visit your barn and meet Misty. I used to love bumming a ride on a friend’s horse when I was a teen.

[babybunsmum]

hmmm.  yeah.  personally, i don’t buy the “bf & i lead a happy peaceful life” part.  if that was so, other peoples chaos would not threaten her and she would not need to cut herself off from people in order to protect it.  also, if all of this was merely from your “Hope I see you soon! It’s been a while since we were able to hang out!” comment, then it seems like she’s feeling a little guilty and there’s more to it anyways.   she could have easily responded “it *has* been a while!  let’s get together soon.”  maybe she’s threatened that you’re single now?  some people are weird that way and only like to hang out with other couples.  i’ve never understood that and i think it’s sad really.  always interpreted it as them feeling their relationship is vulnerable.

you take all the time you need to heal from your break-up.  you may find that you’re more comfortable sharing your struggles with some friends and not with others as time goes on.  it’s normal that some people will be less willing to talk about this with you & may steer the conversation to other things in an attempt to distract you (a good thing… you gotta have fun) BUT imho withdrawing from you in general like ‘friend’ has is pretty cold and in poor form.

so cool about the house hunt!  i’m very excited for you   def let us know how it goes!

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

At any rate, you find out who your real friends are during times like this; I mean for sure it’s annoying to have the kind of firend who is ALWAYS having some sort of catastrophe, but seriously this is a legitimate heart break and she should be there for you. Brush it off and accept the friendship for what it is; Just casual friends, not best friends…She didn’t wrong you but she wasn’t there for you either…So now you know what she’s really like and you know not to put more effort into it then she does…When she needs you, if you aren’t there for her, don’t bat an eyelash! Whatever!
*hugs*

[Lion_Lop_Lover]

Hey guys

I just got back from looking at the houses – we looked at three; one I had seen before and then 2 new ones.

The first one was the one I had seen at the open house; but it was nice to go back when it didn’t feel so hectic. So I looked at it and liked it more, even though it is quite small.

Then we went to the second house…but even on the drive there (it was about 10 kms from the other place) it didn’t feel right…and then we pulled up and there were ATVs everywhere, not to be stereotyping but it was soooo “hick”-y I looked at my realtor and pursed my lips a bit and she nodded, she knew this was not a good place. But, the house itself was nice, the location was not.

So, that was a quick one!

Then, off to the third one, which is a bit out of my price range but my realtor thinks it’s overpriced, so hopefully open to negotiation…and the 3rd one…omg…I LOVED IT!!!! LOVED IT you guys!!! It’s nice and private, and has such a nice treed back lot, almost an acre; gorgeous inside except for some hideous black/white tiling in the kitchen below a ceiling fan which honestly made my eyes go completely wonky… but nice big open concept, gorgeous sized bedrooms (3), 1 bathroom, no carpets…

Ahhhh, I’m so excited and scared!! And it’s only 15 km to downtown, 10 minutes to the city…!!!

Please hope and cross your fingers my parents agree to cosign for this with me…..>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“If it’s meant to be it will be!” I SURE HOPE!!!!!!

[Scarlet_Rose]

Lion_Lop that’s great!  I have my fingers and toes crossed for you!  I have to agree all the ATV’s, eek, although good when you have a snowstorm and they’re out with the plow on front. But otherwise, not the peaceful retreat it sounds like you are looking for.   Also, if the bones and layout of the house are good, cosmetic things like tile and paint can be easily changed with a little elbow grease.

[RabbitPam]

Sounds like 2 out of 3 will make you happy, and since you can only live in one, you can see which one becomes affordable. It’s very hard to fall in love with a house above your price range because it makes it worse to settle for a different one. Glad to hear your folks are cosigning for you. It’s a really bad housing market around here, so if it’s the same up there, the people may come down in price if the alternative is sitting on the market for a year. Good luck!

[babybunsmum]

ooooooooooooo so exciting!  my fingers & toes are also crossed for you

[Lion_Lop_Lover]

Okay…just had a long day.

Went out to the barn to see Misty from 11 30-3 30, and then went to see Kayo from 4 30-5 30, then (I was with a friend) asked her if she wanted to drive by my “house”, since it’s just off the main road. She said sure, so we went there…
The house I want is the 4th or 5th house to the left after turning onto the road…and as we were driving up to the right turn to get on the road, there were like, 6 “preteen” boys with skateboards ON the road playing. They parted *slowly* when I drove by and then again after we saw the house and went back…

But now I’m all paranoid about a bunch of “gangsta-wanna be” boys out with skateboards on the road and stuff…. *worried*…

Not sure what to think …

[babybunsmum]

oh i know all about that!  and it’s not necessarily a really bad indication.  my little suburbia here has teen gang issues.  they spray paint their ‘colors’ on public properties & hang out in the parks where i walk / run the dog.  it can be a bit disconcerting to have to walk thru 15 or 20 kids hanging out in the bush on the nature trail but so far i haven’t had any troubles.  i usually smile if i make any eye contact (a habit formed from working in the service industry during my highschool/college years)  but just mind my own business otherwise.  i think my dog may be a good luck charm too since there’s usually a comment about him or a pet request when i pass by.  also, a lot of 10+yr olds are skateboarding / snowboarding for hobbies now & not necessarily in the whole ‘skateboarder’ counter-culture.

if you’re deciding on putting an offer in on the house and are really concerned about it, you could always go for a walk in the neighborhood & check out the whole vibe.  is there a park nearby?  maybe you could find some one to chat with who lives in the area?

[RabbitPam]

You could also drop by the local police station and tell them you’re thinking of buying, and what are the crime issues locally? Ask if it’s a safe neighborhood, or do they patrol regularly, is there a lot of noise, are there gangs or just lots of families with kids. If it is worrisome, you might ask where a safer area for a single woman to live might be.
I know in the US the real estate brokers are no longer allowed to say what the demographics of a neighborhood is. It sounds silly, but here in Florida many of the housing complexes consist of retired New Yorkers, while others are retired from Massachusetts or the Midwest. Many people like to find others from their old neighborhoods “back home.”

[Scarlet_Rose]

Lion_Lop take a deep breath. It doesn’t sound like anything really out of the ordinary. Is there tagging around the neighborhood or anything you saw while driving around that would concern you? That is an excellent idea to ask the police dept. there about local statistics and I know in my area, they publish their own little run-down of the months activities in the local paper for my city. Also, now-of-days most police stations have their own web site and publish statistics, if not go to the community web site (there just may be one) where that information is disclosed. Of course you can always feel free to discuss this with the realtor, just let her know you were driving through the neighborhood and were wondering about crime statistics in that area etc.

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

To be honest they probably moved away slowly as they were checking out the girls in the car!!

You want to be cautious when female, but that could mean you get to get a dog (to protect you of course!) or two…

[Scarlet_Rose]

Oh yes, some very cute German Shepards (they’re my favorite)! Besides they’ll keep you feet warm at night too. Hee, hee.

[Lion_Lop_Lover]

OK…* has had time to think * …For most people I guess I overreacted…
and I had always planned to get 2 dogs – my corgi that I’ve planned forever, and a bigger dog to ‘guard’…! Hopefully the buns will be okay with the dogs, though…>.<

The area is quite rural, there were a few farms along the road and some other mini-homes (the one I’m looking at is a mini) not necessarily a bad thing at all. The people on the right side have a nice 2 storey house and a barn and fencing outside (maybe have horses??)…it looks like a nice country area.

On the contrast, the 2nd house we had looked at did have graffitti around and was more unsafe feeling.

I emailed my realtor asking to go back later this week, well Wednesday night I hope…

[kimberleyanddarren]

maybe you should look for a larger dog that doesnt have any hunting instincts as it will likely get on with your bun better

[Scarlet_Rose]

L_L I don’t think you over-reacted with everything that you are gong through and this is a HUGE decision you are making. The one without the grafitti sounds neat, I was wondering if you might find a place near horses. How neat! Or maybe if they don’t, they would consider boarding yours? Anyway, I’m putting the cart before the horse. Take your time making a decision and you want a place that YOU feel safe and not where you are like a prisoner in your own home either.

[Lion_Lop_Lover]

Thanks guys… (hugs)

Goood news – I finished my Music essay (it’s due tonight)! Clocked in at 2100 words – it was supposed to be between 2000-2500, so I’m glad. It’s not my best work but it’s the best I could do considering the circumstances…

I’m hopefully going back to look at ‘my house’ tomorrow night

[babybunsmum]

woooohoooooo!  congrats on getting the paper finished!  that must be a huge relief for you.  umm… and puhleeese take a couple pics of  ‘your house’ to share   (i’m so nosey!)

[Lion_Lop_Lover]

I will try You have to get vendor’s permission to take pics but I guess I could post some from the MLS website…if I’m allowed…hmm…

[babybunsmum]

ah yes… never thought about that.  good point.  lol.  i’m always gettin myself in trouble this way… don’t let me take you down with me!  

[RabbitPam]

Way to go on the music paper!
Was that the one you got an extension for? Regardless, glad to hear it’s done. One less thing to worry about.

If none of these are your dream house, by all means take your time. Scarlet’s right about it being a huge decision. You never know – a better house for you may come on the market in a month or two. Sometimes people wait to sell until their kids are finished with the school year.

[notjulesverne]

ooo my friend is getting a corgi soon! he’s still too itty bitty, but in a few weeks!

[Lion_Lop_Lover]

Yeah, the essay was the one I had the extension for…
Now, I have a 10 page paper left, a midterm and a 4 page paper… erk….

I’ve been searching for local corgi breeders, but it looks like the closest ones are actually in Ontario! Eep! But a roadtrip to get a puppy might be fun….!

I do feel a bit better…I’ve been really looking forward to this house thing…and getting some schoolwork done and stuff…just wanting to relax…

((hugs)) to you guys.

[Scarlet_Rose]

(((HUGS))) To you too L_L. I am so very glad to hear you got your music essay done! WOOHOO! One less thing to worry about. Take one thing at a time and you’ll get that much deserved rest soon (I hope the teachers go easy). Take care of yourself and is that the smell of chocolate chip cookies in your oven??? Enjoy things, take your time, breathe easy.

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