The Laws of Bunnydom – add your own!

[(dig)x(me)x(now)]

I’m starting a list of bunny truths just for fun. Please feel free to add on!

1. You do not own the bunny. The bunny owns you.

2. “Paper” is an acceptable food group.

3. “Antique” translates to “extra tasty” in bunny language.

4. Your shoe/arm/leg/dog/etc. wants to be humped.

5. If it smells good, it must be edible.

6. Wires want to be chewed.

[jerseygirl]

7. Scattered poop is an artistic expression  

8. Not giving food when it is requested is a felony

9. Binkies are “pay per view” spectacles, accepted currency: Noms

[Deleted User]

10. Head pets will be allowed on the bunny’s terms, not the measley bunny slave.
11. If you go to the fridge, you must submit a treat to the bun.

[Beka27]

12. WHATEVER you do, HOWEVER you do it, and WHENEVER it is done… it is STILL WRONG and will be subject to intense DISAPPROVAL. Next time… please do it right.

[babybunsmum]

13. the time to uncharacteristically refuse noms is right before your human slave has to leave for work / holidays in order to cause as much drama / worry / extra gas $$ to be checked on mid-day / extra greens doled out to check if you’re eating as possible.

14. the higher up the perch you climb upto, the more intense the disapproval you can cast down upon others.

[FluffyBunny]

15. If I DON’T want to eat it I DON’T want to eat it. other way around, too.

[Deleted User]

16. Spaces underneath furniture are not to be blocked off because they are there for rabbits to trim teeth undisturbed.
17. Moving things around in the home is not permitted, and is to be PEEnalized promptly; the only agent permitted to rearrange anything is the rabbit himself

[LittlePuffyTail]

18. Marking is the same as purchasing items from a store, once something is chinned, bunny retains all rights thereto.

19. Stomping is to be done only during the early morning hours.

20. Designer clothes, shoes and handbags look better with little chew holes.

[Moonlight_Wolf]

21. All objects must be located 6 inches from the side of the pen/wall for me to go behind it (this includes humans).

22. Digging is done precisely at 4 in the morning each day.

23. If no digging box is present in the room then one is permitted to dig in her hay box or litter box.

24. The dog must always say hi to me before going to bed, or I will be angry at the humans.

[FluffyBunny]

Oh, thought of another…

25. The bed is an allowed place to pee, if you like it or not.

[KytKattin]

26. I will get sick and need to go the the vets exactly 1 hour after they have closed for the night (bonus points if you don’t get paid until next week or have something important going on the next day).
27. If I don’t want to, you can’t make me.
28. A trick taught will be forgotten the moment you want me to show someone else.
29. Cages: Boxes that test a rabbit’s ability to think (or chew) through a problem.
30. If you exist, I will rub my cheek on you. You are now mine (thus making law number 1 true).

[RabbitPam]

31. All toys have a shelf life of 2 hours or less.
32. Yesterday’s favorite toy is today’s boring obstacle in the bunny 500 racetrack.
33. All furniture is the only set of toys with longevity, and require daily tasting, uh, maintenance.
34. No rule is consistent or meant to last. The slave allowed to hold you yesterday can be growled at today.
35. Enter all openings. Never miss an opportunity to go through, under, or between any space 3″ or larger.

36. Under no circumstances allow your nails to be trimmed. A slave with scissors is your enemy. Begin fight or flight response immediately. Continue for 4 days.

37. A clean house is someone else’s house.

[bunnytowne]

38   I must have 2 no less than 2 oxbow papaya tablets at 7:30 pm  every nite.  Dont’ try to cheat me I can count  I know if you only give me 1 and I will look for the 2nd til I get it.

39  I will make a big struggle of digging and bobbing my head around while you are holding me for an appointed amount of time.  Then I will finally settle down and you can pet me.

40   No matter how many times you close the baby gate to the bedroom I will notice the 1 time you didn’t and try to sneak my way into the bedroom under the bed.   You will get a vacuum attachment and make me come out  I will pretend to go back to the living room then once you get up off the floor back under the bed I go.   Making Mum  repeat the process several times b4 I go back in to the living room to stay.  

[bunnytowne]

oh and

41    I will jump  back into your arms as you put me on the grooming table while you try to groom me.  Therefore delaying getting groomed.

42   I will thump my foot everytime your son talks during his visits  til he shuts up

[RabbitPam]

43. I will cling to your neck like a hood ornament when/if you get me to the vet.

[Deleted User]

44. If you don’t need me in my cage and I have all the time in the world to come and out and play, I will stay in the cage. If you only have a few minutes and need to get to work/school/etc. I will hide in the most impossible places for you to get to me (i.e. under the recliner part of sectional couch…)

45. No spot will ever be comfortable and until significantly digged at by bunny and made comfortable. Especially the bottom of your brand new coffee table.

[bunnytowne]

this is so much fun.  I love reading these bunny truths.  Great idea.

[jerseygirl]

*We should sent this list to HRS!

46. When a bunny bites, it emits a pheromone that induces the victim of the bite into a forgiving state and seeing only the adorableness of the perpetrator

47. “Stubbun” is not only a valid term but an intrinsic way of being.

48. Desexed rabbits can still multiply

[Deleted User]

49. It will never be accepted that the rabbit’s enclosure be any smalller than the human’s.

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

LMAO you guys are so creative!! Jersey I was going to ask if I can post these on my site!!

50. A closed door is a nothing less then a challenge-and an offensive one at that. Let it be known no matter how far away the rabbit is or what it is doing, when that door opens the rabbit will enter.

51. Four A.M. is not only an acceptable time to zoom and binky in the slaves bedroom, but extra points are given for jumping on sleeping humans heads and digging.

52. Taking a rabbit to a vet, no matter that the intention is to increase longevity and health, will be punished with at least four days of disaproval and destruction. This time period is subject to increase should a thermometer have been involved with the procedure performed.

53. Grocery bags are to be ripped open for vegetable extraction before the human slave can put them away in the fridge.

54. If litter boxes are not kept up to the highest standards, simply submit a complaint all around the litter box-especially if the litter box is on carpeted flooring.

[Deleted User]

55. The litterbox is a place to sit inside of while going to the bathroom; a ‘litter-trained’ bunny’s bum can still hang over the edge and thus not use the box at all.

[FluffyBunny]

56. “Medicine” translates, roughly, to “Nasty Poison” in Rabbit.

[hooty22]

57. The best hay is at the bottom of the bag.

58. The crinkle of the raisin bag is the most beautiful sound in the world.

[Deleted User]

59. No matter where the bunny is, when the sound of the fridge door hits their ears, they will be inside the fridge preventing you from closing it, before you even realize what is happening.

[(dig)x(me)x(now)]

60. When a human pours pellets into a bowl, their bunnies develop supernatural hearing and speed.

[(dig)x(me)x(now)]

61. The tastiest things in life seem to be things that humans consider inedible.

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

62 Remote control buttons are a food group

63 the more expensive the toy, the less I want to play with it

64 I want what your eating-now

65 I can touch you AND YOU CAN NOT TOUCH ME unless I say so!

[RabbitPam]

Posted By Kokaneeandkahlua on 02/15/2009 10:49 PM
62 Remote control buttons are a food group LMAO!!!

 

66. Antique furniture is an excellent source of fiber.

[Author]

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