The Husband Strore (joke)

[KatnipCrzy]

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

‘That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘but I want more.’

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Helps With the Housework.

‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’ Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

[Elrohwen]

Hahaha. Nice Valentine’s Day joke 🙂

[Sarita]

LOL :~) That joke must have been written by a man.

[Deleted User]

So if I got mine on the 3rd floor, I really shouldn’t bother asking for help with housework then?… no wonder it has been so futile.

[Sage Cat]

Tee, hee, hee

[Monkeybun]

Well… mine has a job, hates kids, doesn’t know what housework is, barely remembers birthdays… did I get him from the wrong floor? lol

[Deleted User]

you were just shopping in a hurry. or maybe the day you went there the elevator was down, so you stayed in the 1st floor because of your knee maybe?

[Elrohwen]

I think I did pretty good with my 4th floor guy 😉 He does help with housework, though his idea of a romantic Valentine’s Day is telling me I can get a second bunny, then saying “Oh no, we can’t get another one! I was just kidding” Grrr.

[Monkeybun]

What a meanie! Maybe you’ll have to take him around to the shelters and make him fall in love with a bun.

[Monkeybun]

I can’t use the knee excuse, as I’ve had him around longer than my knee injury Ah well. He’s good enough for me

[MimzMum]

Hmmm…is there a floor for returns? lolz….

[Elrohwen]

Posted By Monkeybun on 02/11/2010 04:01 PM
What a meanie! Maybe you’ll have to take him around to the shelters and make him fall in love with a bun.

 

I tell him about the bunnies at the rescue every week. Some day I’ll drag him down there so he falls in love with one himself  As much as I want a big bunny, there’s a dwarf mix girl who is a total sweetie pie!

[lancy]

Posted By Monkeybun on 02/11/2010 03:51 PM
did I get him from the wrong floor? lol

Come on! Red Lobster Queen I can smell your happiness 10000 miles away, hehe~

[Monkeybun]

He remembered our anniversary cuz I reminded him every day for 2 weeks previous to it, and told him we’d go to red lobster for dinner

[MikeBun]

rofl. sounds about right. The 5th floor guy is never enough -.-

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

BAHAAA!! I got off on FLOOR ONE!!! RIPOFF!!! :rofl:

Don’t tell Dave I said that….lol

[lancy]

“only six?” my wife’s question.

[Deleted User]

I wonder if there is also an imaginary store where men can find wives. How many floors would it have? It would have to have a basement for returns for sure. Men wouldn’t put up with anything less than what they wanted, or would they?

[Cassi&Charlie]

Oh gosh, I didn’t even make it to the 1st floor when I chose mine lol!

[Monkeybun]

You stopped outside? lol

[KatnipCrzy]

I have obviously never been good at reading directions- since I grabbed first available on the first floor once I saw there were no bunnies, cats or dogs- and then took him to go find a pet store to buy treats for my all my critters.  LOL

Obviously not true- as we got a dog together while we were dating- but neither of us had pets when we started dating in high school.

[Cassi&Charlie]

Monkeybun, I must have stopped outside lol. Next time will be better 🙂 Now I know to stop at the 5th floor.

[Monkeybun]

Lol the sale rack outside… *snickers*

[jerseygirl]

Heck! Don’t bother with the store. Just wait til they come up for resale on craigslist and get yourself a bargain.
e.g. see below…ok, so this one’s probably snapped up by now, but it shows it’s worth being on the look out. tehe

More…best of craigslist > seattle > Husband for adoption – low rehoming fee
Originally Posted: Fri, 19 Sep 17:57 PDT

Husband for adoption – low rehoming fee

——————————————————————————–
Date: 2008-09-19, 5:57PM PDT

——————————————————————————–

My husband said it’s him or the dog? So, it was a tough choice, but the dog only takes up part of the bed, and he doesn’t steal the covers, so I’m keeping the dog.

Husband has tendency to wander, likes to sleep all day, will play with his balls, isn’t house trained, but will beg to go out. Needs fenced yard without grass to mow, a home with plentiful food (favorite food is pizza) and drink (loves beer). Gets along well with other dogs, doesn’t much care for cats or children. Has little redeeming value, but he is cute. Comes from a long line of hunters, would love to be your hunting companion. Knows Sit, Heel, Stay, and Down. Doesn’t always do them? But he knows those commands, don’t let him try to convince you he doesn’t. Is current on all shots, pretty healthy, has had his teeth cleaned recently, and is NOT NEUTERED. I’d be happy to help pay for the neutering.

Too good home, fee negotiable, I know I can’t get anywhere near what I’ve got in him back. Comes with 49’ers T shirt, large flat screen tv, and a big truck but only the T shirt is paid for.

Serious inquiries only!

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 847702751

[Deleted User]

I must have come from a store because my fiance picked me! And I know which floor too. First floor, because there was only me, other levels are for both Jon and I to explore, it will probably take a lifetime. Good thing you can find love stands for nourishment everywhere when needed. Whoot! Time for ADVENTURE! You should shop at your store too.

[Huckleberry]

Heck! Don’t bother with the store. Just wait til they come up for resale on craigslist and get yourself a bargain.
e.g. see below…ok, so this one’s probably snapped up by now, but it shows it’s worth being on the look out. tehe

LMAO!!!!! I think that’s what I did, we were both each other’s rebound. (Not actually married yet, but as close as we are comfortable with for now) But I think I got a pretty decent deal… considering that when I tried to buy a car on craigslist, I found 100’s with blown heads but priced over $2000, 5 cars that had been rolled or wrecked and still way over-priced and finally, my favorites, 3 cars sold as “Batteries not included” (I swear, Im not kidding).
He had a job… he LOVES Huckleberry, LOVES kids way more than I do, and will clean the house when it finally smells too bad to live in anymore… so, I think I did ok and I haven’t had to put too much work into him!!!!!

Great post! That was a funny joke!

[RabbitPam]

Oh No! A year after I left NYC my boyfriend and I broke up and I didn’t go back. I missed this store!

No wonder I’m still single. Any Franchise options???????

[Author]

Messages