The hole in my heart is just too much

[Shan&Chibi]

After a few weeks of struggling to eat, we thought we’d finally nailed the problem, being his incisors being too long. 

The vets found Chibi had significant scar tissue on one side of his mouth which was rendering that part immobile. Chibi’s eating went really down hill to the point last night where even banana was too much to chew down on. 

We took him to the vets this morning and at about 10:30 he was put to sleep. 

I’m sitting in my bed now and my bedroom feels horrible and empty as this was where Chibi mostly lived, unless he felt like going downstairs. 

I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m laying here listening out for his noises that will never be again. I’ve been crying on and off since last night, I’ve hardly slept but I can’t sleep. I’m a mess. 

I just want my boy back again. I just want to cuddle him. I’m in so much pain that I can’t stand it. I miss him so much already. 

I 100% made the right decision for him and I know he’s no longer in pain etc, but I’m the one that’s still alive without him and I can’t bear it. 

My bedroom is too big and empty and I absolutely hate it. 

If anyone has any tips/help then please send it my way because this is just too much. 

I love you so much, Chibs. You were the best boy. 

[Phil]

So sad I really feel your pain, I lost my Jasper a year ago I was a wreck, feels so empty and so very hard to understand why, why my little bunny, I had no choice than to risk op, he died, don’t blame your self you had no choice either, its so awful. Poor bunny least their not in anymore pain, even after a year I still am upset especially when I hear of another beautiful bunny dying. X

[Shan&Chibi]

Posted By Phil on 1/07/2019 10:21 AM

So sad I really feel your pain, I lost my Jasper a year ago I was a wreck, feels so empty and so very hard to understand why, why my little bunny, I had no choice than to risk op, he died, don’t blame your self you had no choice either, its so awful. Poor bunny least their not in anymore pain, even after a year I still am upset especially when I hear of another beautiful bunny dying. X

Ah thank you, so sorry to hear of your loss too. I hate having a room without him and it hurts so much. I know one day that pain will fade but I just want that to be now so I can enjoy the memories without being in bits. 
Thank you for your message x

[Phil]

Time helps also my new bunny clover helps. Still sad and miss my Jasper even now a year on, bunnies are so special only we will really know how much. X

[Bam]

I am so very sorry you had to say good bye to Chibi. I know he was unwell for a long time and that you really fought for him. Now he is free from pain but you are left with the grief and the emptiness. He was such a huge part of your day.

I hope you have people you can talk to or spend time with – being alone might not be good right now. You will be able to think of him later without this crushing pain, but right now distraction could perhaps be a better idea? I went on a trip after I lost my Bam in August. Even though I spent 3-4 hours every day crying over him, I think the distraction of being in a new, unknown place was good. Im glad I had that option.

Chibi was very lucky to have you.

[Shan&Chibi]

Posted By Phil on 1/07/2019 12:46 PM

Time helps also my new bunny clover helps. Still sad and miss my Jasper even now a year on, bunnies are so special only we will really know how much. X

Aw I’m glad you’ve got another bunn to help with your pain. I sadly haven’t got another pet at the moment but I think I’ve needed time to grieve and rest. 
Thank you for your message x x

[Shan&Chibi]

Posted By bam on 1/07/2019 2:22 PM

I am so very sorry you had to say good bye to Chibi. I know he was unwell for a long time and that you really fought for him. Now he is free from pain but you are left with the grief and the emptiness. He was such a huge part of your day.

I hope you have people you can talk to or spend time with – being alone might not be good right now. You will be able to think of him later without this crushing pain, but right now distraction could perhaps be a better idea? I went on a trip after I lost my Bam in August. Even though I spent 3-4 hours every day crying over him, I think the distraction of being in a new, unknown place was good. Im glad I had that option.

Chibi was very lucky to have you.

My one good takeaway from this is that Chibi isn’t in pain any more or struggling. That’s the only plus side. 
I’m coping okay but I still miss him terribly. It’s still early days I guess. 
I’m due to stay with a friend soon so hopefully that break will help, like it helped you. 

I’m fortunate that Chibi was a huge part of my entire families life and we were all as upset as each other, so it was nice (in a weird way) to share the grief with others. I mean that like when my hamsters passed away over the years, no one was as upset as I was so I did feel a little alone on that front but I’ve been able to share my pain which has helped. 

Thank you ever so for your reply. That means a lot x

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