Suddenly Lost our Lop and the other rabbit is handling it better than me.

[MoJingly]

Hi all, 

We suddenly and unexpectedly lost our lop over the weekend. He was 7 and we still have no idea what happened. Hoping the vet will be able to give us some closure after the necropsy. We’d brought him back from the brink so many times due to stasis but this was different. I couldn’t save him and I don’t know why this was so sudden. It was horrendous.

I’m grieving horribly, and it’s been a comfort to know others have gone through this roller coaster of emotions. I feel denial, loss, guilt… it’s all there, but at least I break down less every day. 

The reason I am writing though is that his partner, our Dutch, seems to be just fine. She had about two hours with his body and I’m glad we could do that for her. I’m not sure what to think about it. She’s eating and pooping normally, lounging with her legs out, and doing her normal rabbity things. She’s never been overly emotional or personable but this lack of emotion is just puzzling to me. They were bonded for about 6 years and, although they tended to sleep separately throughout the house during the day, they undeniably loved each other. 

Has anybody else experienced this? I always read that there are some bunnies who cope with the loss of a partner better than others, but I have yet to encounter a story of one that was just… fine. She was a single bun for two years before we rescued her, so I’m sure that makes a difference, or maybe being a female makes a difference, but I find myself grieving for her when she isn’t even really doing it herself.  The only things that seem different around the house is it about 1/2 as quiet, but MUCH cleaner (which I’m not sad about -apparently, the lop was the super messy one). 

I guess I should be happy that she’s fine. She has free range of the house and lots of toys. But part of me is almost frustrated with her. Does she care he’s gone? If she can get over him to easily, why can’t I? 

[A Happy Herd of Hares]

I’m
So
Sorry
?
Bunnies and people bond different than bunnies and bunnies, you don’t need to just let him go, you can hold onto him as long as you need. We are here if you need to just cry, don’t worry about seeming silly about crying, bunnies are family and losing them is almost as hard ?❤️

[tobyluv]

I am very sorry for the loss of your bunny. It is not unusual for a rabbit to seem “normal” or to not be visibly grieving when their companion dies. That has been my experience with the several rabbits I’ve had who have lost their companions, and I’ve read posts here where members state the same. Of course, there are instances where the rabbit who loses a companion does grieve, acting quiet, not eating as much, and seeming sad, but it’s certainly not a given that a rabbit will act that way, so don’t think that there is anything “wrong” with your bunny. We can’t know what goes on inside of a rabbit’s mind, how they process the death of a companion, but it’s evidently pretty different from how a person handles the death of a loved one in a lot of cases.

[LittlePuffyTail]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I know the emotions you describe very well. I lost a bunny suddenly earlier this year and I’m still grieving him.

I’m glad to hear your bunny seems to be handling it okay. Give her a hug from me.

((((((Binky Free))))))))

[MoJingly]

Well we know what happened. It’s not too graphic, but I want to warn you that I feel I need to describe what happened because i feel horribly horribly responsible and guilty. 

When I wrote this a few days ago I couldn’t even bring myself to say his name because of my grief. But here he is. This is Femto. My husband and I loved (and will continue to love) him dearly. 

The vet confirmed that Femto died almost instantly from a sudden blow to the head. I came home from a Halloween party early because I had a little too much to drink and wanted to be responsible. I had been remodeling the entryway and there was a 2×2 leaning up against the bench because I was going to make a coat rack. It must have fallen on him – I probably knocked it over in my tired drunken state and he was sitting in just the right spot. Now that I’ve had time to heal I remember him running over to the wall and collapsing. There was a little blood on his nose. Vet confirmed it was almost instant. 

I feel horrendous. Here I was, taking a cab home early to be the responsible 30-yr-old that I’m supposed to be, and I killed our rabbit. I feel so guilty. My husband is so kind and keeps telling me it was an accident, that things like this happen, that I was such a great bunny mom and that I obviously didn’t mean to hurt him. That Femto forgives me. 

I’m comforted that it was nearly instant and that my little buddy didn’t suffer. I’m also comforted that my husband and I, over the past few months, have been making a conscious effort to appreciate the rabbits more and not take them for granted. Femto was super happy the last few weeks.  I know his last memories are good ones. 

Femto was so so so loved and well taken care of, but I feel like I just undid all my years of care for him. I hope he knows how much I miss him and how sorry I am. I haven’t stopped crying for days, can’t really eat. When we got the confirmation back from the vet of what I feared, it all started again.

Our dutch Fermata continues to do well, and even seems to have come into her own a little. She’s calm is chattering her teeth a lot when I pet her. eating well.  I notice that she has PRISTINE litterbox habits without Femto, too. Maybe they would pee and poop everywhere as a method of communication or dominance? 

Thanks for listening all. I just had to get this off my chest and I knew some in this group would relate. I keep reliving that night. Keep seeing him. Keep playing the “what ifs” and “should haves.”  Fermata will be 8 soon. She’s getting so much love. She seems to be ok without a partner right now, and I’m certainly not ready. We will take it a day at a time. Moving forward… moving forward.

[Sofia]

I am so so sorry. I really can’t imagine what you must be feeling. Don’t beat yourself too much over it please, accidents do happen. Some worse than others. As you said he was clearly ridiculously happy, and he didn’t suffer too much.
Binky free x

[Author]

Messages