Struggling with loss

[Alfiebuns]

I originally had a bonding post going for my 5 rabbits but it came to an abrupt stop after we lost one of our lovelies earlier this year. Soon after we had a disastrous summer which included one bun, Russell, having an abscess removed from his head, recovering only to find another huge untreatable abscess in his stomach. Then came another bun, Bloo, having her ear sliced through by her scared bunny friend, Ted, jumping over her in the garden. Bloo also had E.C which she recovered successfully from. Ted then had a toe removed as he dislocated it trying to jump a fence. He is also suspected to have mega-colon. Alfie, my first bun and true love has also had several bouts of stasis from the beginning of summer.

Then, on 12th December Russell passed away. It was horrific, his death looked so incredibly painful despite being on a high dose of morphine. He had soldiered on for 4 months with his abscess, loving life and not letting it slow him one bit. Then at midnight one night he started passing blood and the next night died at 7pm. He had a bonded partner, Dolly, they were inseparable.

Yesterday, the 21st, my Alfie passed away. He went off his food on Wednesday night but did a decent amount of poops so we took him to our vet the following morning and they thought they could find a growth. He was started on his normal stasis meds, ranitidine & recovery plan with lots of fluids. By Friday he was no better and our rabbit savvy vet was back at work so we took him again and he dismissed the growth idea from an X-ray of Alfie and diagnosed stomach impaction. Metoclopramide & loxicom were added to his meds. That day he passed a huge amount of hard, black painful looking poops and I was sure he had cleared the blockage. He was still in a bad way though and my partner was sure he could still feel the blockage so we continued with his treatment. By Saturday he had nibbled tiny bits of food and passed a lot of sloppy poop included an alarming amount of foul smelling mucus. His upset him so much it was awful to see. The next day, Sunday morning he was nibbling food again and his poop had begun to thicken to a light brown slop with bits of mucus. He attempted nibbling again but was very slow and clearly extremely uncomfortable. He was very weak. At 7pm he passed away peacefully.

I can’t believe it. I am truly distraught. Alfie was my everything. He was so unbelievably intuitive, he knew when I was down or stressed and knew what to do to fix it. He slept under my bed and we spent the majority of our time together. He made me so very happy. He was my best friend and I can’t face a day without him as my days revolved around him.

Alfie has left two partners behind, Bloo & Ted. He bonded with both of them but they refused to bond with each other so he shared his time and they truly adored him. And, like me, their days began and ended with Alfie. He would wake us all up, make us laugh/binky throughout the day, clean us all and honk to sleep. I now have 3 unbonded, grieving buns and I’m a mess.

It is 3 days before Christmas and I’m sure if I had all of my babies there’s no way I would read such a miserable post from someone so I apologise for sharing my sadness at such a happy time. I just don’t know how to cope. I can’t face the process of having him cremated, a week after Russell, and never seeing or touching him again. I hadn’t begun to grieve Russell and now this too. I just can’t believe it all.

[Avantika]

*hugs* This was indeed a year of hardships for you and your furry friends. What I applaud is that you did not give up on them. People abandon/return their pets to shelters if they find they are even slightly sick. You must be holding so much love in your heart to have taken care of them when each of them was sick. I hope that your pain fades bit by bit. You shared the same equation with little Alfie as I do with my Moshu. I sometimes think how incomplete my days would be if she leaves me. I hope you eventually find comfort. If you can take help from a family member or shelter volunteer in taking care of Bloo,Ted and the third little one for a while, you should do that. The Rainbow bridge has welcomed Russell and Alfie. <3
Take care of yourself.

[Alfiebuns]

Thank you, Avantika.

It has been a difficult year but Alfie got me trough it all. After Russell passed, I made sure his partner, Dolly, was settled for the night and then ran straight up to Alfie. He cuddled me for hours and then did what I thought was impossible, he made me giggle by doing his silly ears back, tail tucked under “I have no idea what’s happening to my body” zooms!

Now I don’t have him to get me through this, I just don’t know what to do. He had only been gone 10 minutes and I missed him like mad.

I find it very comforting that people on here understand the depth of love between bun and hoomin. I wish you and Moshu a long and happy life together x

[LongEaredLions]

Sending huge hugs your way. I know that both Alfie and Russell were very loved, and I know the pain you must be feeling at their loss. You have sure gone through a lot this year, and I am amazed with the strength you had through it all.
I had a similar experience last year, losing two bunnies during the holidays. I know it is tough, but I hope you can find the joy in remembering them.
(((((Binky free Russell and Alfie)))))

[LaraK]

I am sooo sorry for your losses, and at this time of year. You have such love for your bunnies, and you know they know it, or knew it …. they spent every day loved and taken care of. Who can ask for more? There’s no guarantee of health in life, but if we’re loved, at least we have that comfort through whatever life brings. *Hugs to you and your buns*.

[Bam]

I’m so sorry for your losses. Lots of hugs to you and the buns. It’s so hard to cope with the deaths of loved ones. I hope next year will be better for you.

Binky free Russel and Alfie!

[Alfiebuns]

Thank you all for your kind words, it has been truly heartwarming to read. I must admit I had to stop coming on to binkybunny for a while, I know it’s quite childish but I found it difficult to see anything bunny related!

Things have improved, I was completely lost at one point and have found it extremely difficult. I loved both Alfie & Russell dearly and I think it was due to the fact that the boys needed so much care with their various needs that my days revolved around their busy routines, and once that was gone I didn’t know what to do with myself. I have begun to busy myself with nice bunny related things and have started an edible garden for the buns, it’s becoming a bit of an obsession!

The thing that really lifted my spirits was Ted and Bloo – the buns Alfie was bonded with but wouldn’t bond with each other – after knowing and disliking each other for 18 months, seemingly out of nowhere became best friends! It was very random but the best thing that could have happened and they are now inseparable!

Thank you all again! It is invaluable to have people that understand bunny-hoomin love to turn to.
X

[Kimomo]

I’m so sorry for all your losses, but am glad things are getting better. I’m sure Russell and Alfie are binkying away in a nice dandelion field

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