Hi everyone.
I’ve had a very sad few days after losing my baby Blossom on 10.05.2020 at the fine old age of 10 and half years old.
She has been my rabbit since I was eleven years old, and has been with me for almost half of my life. We were so closely bonded, with her often coming to sit on my lap, or eat out of my hands, and often at the vets she would leap right into my arms from the vets table to snuggle into the crook of my neck.
I know in the grand scheme of things, with a global pandemic going on, and people losing loved ones every day, the loss of a little bun does not seem much in comparison, but my heart has completely broken.
On the morning of the 8th, we woke to find Blossom hardly able to stand, her legs sticking out strangely where she sat. She was extremely lethargic, and wasn’t seeming to eat. We gave her liquid food and took her to the emergency vets, since it was a bank holiday. We were dreading that we would have to put her to sleep. She had dental issues for the last five years, with many general anaesthetics and surgeries – the last one being only 2ish months ago. She also suffered with arthritis, and had been on daily pain relief since her last operation. Obviously with the coronavirus situation, we were not allowed in the vets, and so I just sobbed in the car, imagining the worst. Luckily, the vets couldn’t find anything wrong with her besides arthritis pain, and gave her an injection for the pain. Shockingly, she seemed somewhat restored back to her old self in the carrier, standing up normally and munching on hay. The emergency vets said they would change her medications on Monday with our regular vets.
For the rest of the day, we put her and her bunny friend Tam in the outdoor run, and I sat with them all day in the sunshine.
The next day, she still seemed slower than usual, but not wobbling as much as the day before. We spent all day in the outdoor run again, with frequent liquid feeding to try and restore her strength. Around the early evening she seemed extremely weak, and was just lying in one spot – uninterested in Tam’s grooming, or my petting, or eating. I decided to bring a sleeping mat down to the bottom floor to sleep next to her enclosure, so I could keep an eye on her and try and nurse her with liquid food.
In the middle of the night, it seemed like we would have to get her put to sleep, because her quality of life just seemed so sad. The bright, vibrant bunny I had known for ten years was nowhere to be found – she wasn’t nudging me out of the way, or snuffling at my hands, and was just lying in one spot for hours after hours, grinding her teeth.
With it being a Sunday, our regular vets wasn’t open, and it broke my heart to think we would have to hand over the carrier to the vets and not be allowed to be with her in her last moments. We tried desperately to have a vet come to the house, so I could be with her, so she didn’t have extra stress, so she could be with Tam and me, and not be scared. In the end, it was 8AM, and a vet would not be able to visit until 7.30PM, leaving our lovely Blossom in pain for nearly twelve hours. We just could not do it. I was worried she would just die from pain – and I didn’t want her to be in pain at all.
The next half an hour was probably the saddest thing I have ever had to go through. I bundled Blossom in my arms, kissing her a million times, feeling her heartbeat, stroking her ears. She sat in my arms the whole way to the emergency vets, with me trying not to cry so she wouldn’t be scared. We got into the car park, and all too quickly the vets assistant was coming to pick Blossom up, and I kissed her and told her I loved her and that I was sorry she was going to be on her own. My hands shook as I passed her over, and just the sight of her red carrier being carried away, knowing I would never see her or play with her ever again, just broke my heart. I broke down with my mum who was there, and she cried too, and I don’t think I have ever cried so deeply. Imagining her on her own, scared and confused as she breathed her last breaths was tragic. I will always wish I could have been with her.
The vets handed her back over in a shoebox, and gave me ink prints of her sweet paws, as well as some forget-me-not seeds.We took her to the pet cemetery, and saw her one last time. Her face peeked out of one of my old pink pillowcases, and the sight was so heartbreaking – she looked so sweet and peaceful, and I just wanted to stroke her for hours and just dreamed she would wake up and snuggle into my arms again. She was buried next to her old companions, in a very beautiful spot, next to fields of yellow flowers. We can visit any time.
I have dealt with the losses of rabbits before, but this seems like the worst of all. Blossom has always been MY rabbit, whereas her companions were always my sisters – not AS closely bonded to me. Her rabbits were rescued from bad homes, and so never were affectionate or close, and although it was heartbreaking to see them go – it was completely a different level to Blossom, who has always been close, and affectionate, sweet and by my side for such a long time. At this stage, I honestly don’t know if I could ever have a pet again, because I am in so much pain.
Poor little Tam is lonely, and will have to be rehomed, since I have moved out (though I am back with them during lockdown), and my parents can not look after a new rabbit again, with the financial costs and without me being there (usually). It was decided when Blossom’s last companion passed away 5 years ago, that Blossom would be the last bunny in the chain. Luckily, it seems like the rescue centre we originally rescued Tam from has some people looking for a companion bun for another bunny, so hopefully she will be happy in her new home very soon.
I posted in this forum when my last bunny crossed to the rainbow bridge all those years ago, and it really helped hearing everyone’s supportive comments. It breaks my heart that such a sweet-natured, adorable soul will never be with me again. I am just glad her suffering has ended, and that she can play with her old companions again across the rainbow bridge.
Sleep tight my little angel, Blossom. I will always miss you and love you with my whole heart.
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