She’s getting frustrated cause he’s not getting the message

[BunnyBliss]

Hello,

I posted in another forum section about a month ago that we had lost one of our long-term bonded pair just before the holidays.  Our little girl, Evee, has been doing ok, eatting and pooping and hopping about, though you could tell she was incredibly lonely and maybe a little depressed from the loss of her partner of over seven years.  We made it a priority to find her a new friend as soon as possible, and after talking with a rescue agency, we found a lovley little male (neutered, I looked!) that was a little shy but so sweet.  The moment they made eye contact there was clear interest, and Evee seemed to perk up a bit.  The first couple dates in the bathtub went generally well, though he kept trying to mount her (she didn’t get upset about it, and we shoo-ed him off) and there has been a little mutual grooming.  Yesterday we decided to let them go a little longer and see how it goes, and this new issue developed. 

Evee has a tendency to constently stick her head under the chin of her partner in hopes of getting a few licks (she did this constently with her previous partner, and he would generally ignore it, but they had their own system worked out).  The new bunny also ignores it, but also ignores all other cues for affection.  When they come face to face, heads somewhat lowered, he seems to freeze completely, no matter what she does he doesn’t move (think fuzzy rock).  Sometimes she gives in and gives him some face grooming, then continues to wait for him to return the favor.  When he doesn’t, she has started to express her frustrastion by lunging at him and squawking and swiping at his face. In earlier dates, when he didn’t respond  to her, she would give me these looks that I would translate to my husband as “Seriously? This is what you brought me? Did you keep the receipt?” and “This boy is denser then a brick!”

I think a big part of it she is lonely and wants somebunny to show affection towards her, but he isn’t and she’s loosing patience.  She is older (about 8 1/2) and he’s 4, so I’m not sure if the age difference is an issue.  Also, his previous owner had a dog and he was the only bunny, so maybe he hasn’t learn proper bunny social behavior?  They are able to relax near each other, lying down and stretching out during dates, eat and self-groom, but always with space between them.  It’s only when very very close, he freezes up and she gets snarly.

Thought please!    

[Tessie]

Hello!

Bonding is not my forte, so I might not be much help to you, but have you tried the old banana trick? Smear banana on their foreheads (maybe just hers by the sound of it) and they should lick it off which will trick them into thinking they’re being groomed.

It sounds like that might help if you haven’t tried it already

[BunnyBliss]

We tried the banana thing last night.  The only result was a very indignent Evee with gunk in her hair.  Rollo didn’t even notice.  There was a lot of chasing and “mini scraps” at first; he got a couple tufts of fluff off her butt, but no serious damage. Eventually things seemed to calm down, and after a royal grooming session by her to him, he returned a few licks toher nose (HAZZAH!).  She was able to lie down near him and relax a bit.  Most of the time, he still seems to freeze when she gets really close, they have a staring contest with their heads almost on the floor (at the exact same height, though, which I found interesting).  Most times sher turns away in a huff, but occassionally gives  him a couple licks, but he rarely does anything.  Is it possible he just doesn’t know what is expected of him?

[Tessie]

Yay for progress!

As I said, bonding isn’t really my thing… I really struggled with mine and in the end I got someone else to do it
but hopefully someone else can help more?

[LBJ10]

Hmm, it doesn’t sound like he doesn’t know what is expected of him. It sounds like he wants her to groom him because he wants to be top bunny. When she asks for grooms, that isn’t what would be considered submissive behavior. So he isn’t responding to her requests because that would mean he is giving in.

[Author]

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