Romeo & Tigerlily – Bond broken? DESPERATE. :’ (

[lynnbunn]

First of all, thanks for reading this. I know it’s way long.

 

MY RABBITS

My rabbits have really clear personalities, it’s who they are… or who I thought they were.

Romeo is a little 9 month neutered male. He’s shy and always has been the less-dominant one. When a rabbit charges at him ready to nip he always runs away and cowers in a corner all sad-looking. The problem is that he’s not entirely set on being a subordinate; he’d much rather be the alpha rabbit. Furthermore, he is quite insensitive and mischievous.

Tigerlily is spayed but her age is unsure. I think she’s probably a tad older than Romeo but not by too much — maybe a month or two. If not she’s probably a month or two younger, but I don’t think so. She’s quite mature and minds her own business. She often grooms Romeo and is patient over his quirks and crazy-bunny tantrums. She’s a little scared of people but she warms up with patience and lots of love.

THE BOND

Romeo chose Tigerlily. After bouts with Apricot, his former attempted bond, Romeo was going insane. Apricot nipped him so much that after cowering for a month he fought back. It was horrendous as fur flew. Thankfully I was able to stop any persistent fights and they were fine. Romeo became weary afterwards though and no longer had any interest in further dates (he fell asleep during most of them as oppose to being scared in a corner like before not knowing what to do.)

It was different when he met Tigerlily though. After Tigerlily went along to mind her own business Romeo hopped on over and started to groom her. She didn’t try to nip him as the other females did and she just patiently sat there. We knew Romeo was in love. It was almost a match made in heaven especially compared to his trials with Apricot. Romeo and Tigerlily began to permanently live together after the first week. There was boxing, for sure, but only when Romeo was being insensitive (aka nudging Tigerlily all the time or accidentally jumping on her head). He never fought back and Tigerlily only got teeny strands of fur, just enough so Romeo knew he was being annoying. This behavior began with about 3 times a day and lessened to 1 or more likely none.

In short, they were inseparable. Because we had Romeo first he already knew all of the house. Tigerlily was still weary so when it was playtime Romeo would rush out happily and venture to the living room. He never ever stayed long like he used to before all the bonding. He always would run back to the cage where Tigerlily was and wait with her and talk to her. She was brave, but not brave enough to take big steps outside. Eventually he would want to binky too much and venture off but he would always go back and talk to her between bars.

PROBLEMS ARISE

The trouble began after 3 to 4 months of wholly successful bonding. We were going on vacation for 10 days so we boarded them with HRS Richmond. After 4 or 5 days they called saying that they had fought in the morning. The story isn’t clear because I haven’t been able to talk to the person who witnessed it but apparently one rabbit (apparently Tigerlily, I don’t know why because this sounds like Romeo’s behavior) jumped out of the X-pen area. There were unfixed rabbits around them (in the same room, different X-pens) so this could have triggered something. Both have a little scratch on their noses and Tigerlily has lost some fur but they’re fine and eating. HRS separated them into different cages but so that they can see each other.

Just as a side note I was in a hurry to leave so when I left them Romeo cowered under a box and thumped while Tigerlily eyed down a little dutch rabbit nearby. I didn’t want to leave them in that state but we were going to miss our flight. It probably would have been better if I had stayed awhile and calmed them down. I can only imagine their fear. :'(

CONFUSION ENSUES

I brought them home today. An HRS volunteer said that they weren’t showing any hostility when seeing each other between bars so I figured it could just be odd behavior away from home. They were fine on the ride home but the moment I put them into their cage things went downhill. Tigerlily immediately went into their hidey- house and stuck her head out when Romeo tried to get in. This isn’t unusual because she would do this occasionally. Usually nothing comes of it and Romeo can go in peacefully after a few minutes. This time, however, Romeo turned around as if contemplating it all, then hurried inside and fighting ensued. I separated them quickly but Romeo looked angry and lunged at Tigerlily afterwards. (NOTE: ROMEO LUNGED. This hasn’t happened since Apricot and even back then he fought only when he had no where left to run.)

I brought them into the shower where I had done all the bonding before. Romeo again attacks and Tigerlily fights back. I stopped all fights and petted them together trying to make happy memories with treats. Tigerlily accepted the treats and Romeo declined nudging them aside. This went on for quite a few hours.

HELP MEEE. ; o ;

I currently have them in their NIC cage split in the middle with a huge sturdy sheet of cardboard. They can’t see or get to each other. Frankly, I think that seeing each other broods hatred after awhile.

Anyways, I’m at a loss. I don’t know what to do anymore. It hurts so much to see them angry at each other. I don’t know what I’ll do if they never re-bond. Oh, the horror.

 

Thank you guys soooooo much, especially for reading this long thing. I just thought I should start from the beginning.

Do you have any advice? Similar stories? Hope? 

 

Thanks again. :’ )

[RabbitPam]

I’m not the bonding expert among us, but I’m bumping this up so the others will see it and sending a call out to the other FL’s to see if anyone has some good suggestions. Bonding can be damaged, but often repaired with work. Please take heart!

[kralspace]

I’m not the expert either (oh Petzy! she’s taking a break from the forums right now) but I’ve had something of the same thing happen.

I had two bonded pairs that stayed in separate parts of the house and when I tried to move their condos into the same room as far apart as I could all heck broke loose. Both couples started fighting among themselves, like they were jealous when their mate would check out the other bunnies. I took to hanging a sheet on the condos each day when I let the couples out to play (one couple at a time) so they couldn’t at least see each other. It took a few weeks for everyone to calm back down generally, but it would still provoke a fight if they got too close to the other’s condo.

I also took an older bunny, Simba, dating and brought home an older girl, Hershey. Simba had never been around another rabbit and basically didn’t know what to do but hump anything that stood still. At the date, Hershey was the only one who put up with him and was very submissive to his goofiness.

Hershey had recently lost her life time partner and I was told that she was very passive in that bond. But it wasn’t 15 minutes after we got home and I let them out that she thrashed Simba and chased him into the carrier where she made him stay for hours before letting him out. Maybe she decided that this time SHE was going to be in charge…lol.

Maybe they were just upset about being around the strange bunnies and fought and things will settle down for you once they adjust to being alone again. I would do what you’re doing now and gradually reintroduce them. Wonder if trading items with their scents on it would help them get over it?

After they have time to settle their nerves from being gone, maybe you could try a session of stress bonding in a small box to see if they will forget their differences and turn back to each other for support.

PS, I love your writing style!

[Elrohwen]

I think being around strange bunnies could’ve absolutely set them off – just bringing a new bunny into a household can break a bond, so I imagine being in a new place with lots of strange bunnies could be even worse. I would give it a break for a little while and then start from the beginning with stressing and bonding in a neutral area. Hopefully they’ll be good again and you can move along quickly from there.

Were they living together full time for 3-4 months? Or had you been bonding for that long overall? It’s not much time and mine had some scuffles even after bonding for 2 months and living together for over a month. I don’t think things are hopeless at all – it’ll just be a step backward.

[lynnbunn]

@ RabbitPam;;
Thank you so much!!

@ kralspace;;
It’s horrible sounding but that’s actually kind of comforting. It must have been terrible though. I’m dying over Romeo and Tigerlily while you had to feel terrible over not two but FOUR rabbits!!
Anyways, maybe Romeo got jealous because Tigerlily was eying that little Dutchy. I hope that’s the reason anyways.

Haha, I bet Romeo could totally relate to Simba except neither he or Tigerlily ever humps anything. (Is that normal?)

Today I tried a stress session in a box. Frankly Romeo is braver than ever now. He’s hardly scared of anything at our house because he knows it through and through. I actually had to only stress out Romeo and then put Tigerlily in so that he wouldn’t attack. It was pretty bad especially because Tigerlily defends herself and things elevate to a fight. The only good thing about Romeo is that he’s the most predictable little boy in the world. I can tell when he’s going to attack just as he decides he’s going to.
I also tried another shower session as well. At first it seemed a little better than yesterday because Romeo hid in a corner and thumped instead of attacking but he quickly fell back to yesterday’s routine.

I called HRS again and they said I could bring them in so they could see what was really happening. Yay!

Yesterday I also introduced a rabbit-sized polar bear stuffed animal. He’s in Tigerlily’s side of the cage now. She has decided that little polar bear is the new scapegoat. She grooms him when she’s feeling happy but when he doesn’t groom back she pulls the fur out from his little head. It’s a little sad but also funny because she attacks him out of nowhere sometimes. Once he has enough of Tigerlily’s scent I’m gonna put him with Romeo.

I’m wishing for all the best. D:

Thanks so much for the advice!!!

@ Elrohwen ;;
During the break should I let them be able to smell each other? Right now I have a HUGE piece of cardboard fastened in the middle of the cage. They know about each other’s presence because they’re marking a little and sometimes they try to get to the other side, probably to fight.

Yes they were full time for 3-4 months. I stopped any kind of bonding session after the first week because they were so good with each other: soul-mates; I thought at the time. The problem is that they’re not just taking a step backward but they’re going humongous steps into the negative side. Even during bonding there was no fighting. It was just, at most, Tigerlily chasing Romeo into a corner and Romeo running away and looking sad. Now if they so as see each other Romeo will attack and Tigerlily will fight back. Today I found out when I was cuddling poor Tigerlily that there was a red scab in her ears and a red scab on her body. This was probably from back at HRS. I didn’t think she bled but I guess she did. Poor little girl. It’s sad to think about.
It’s like Romeo’s holding a huge grudge over Tigerlily who looks super innocent as it is. I’m hoping that Romeo will calm down and settle back into his old personality soon and forget everything. The problem looks like it’s from him alone. Tigerlily grooms him and treats him just like before if Romeo doesn’t attack. Could it be because he’s a teenager?

Blahhh. I hope they’re fine. HRS recommended short periods a day and slowly elongating time so I’m gonna hold off on serious bonding if I can. I just can’t help but feel completely down the drains whenever I think about them anymore, though. You’re right, I should just let them do their own thing for now and settle a little more. : )

Thanks so much for the advice ~~

[Author]

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