Please help my rabbits actually hate me

[Annalise_Jay]

Guys my rabbits actually hate me and it’s breaking my heart. I honestly don’t know what I’m doing wrong? I got them at 8 weeks old, they’re now 9 months. Ever since they settled in, ive held and picked them up every day, I’m a student so I’m home most of the day with them. At the start I lied down on the floor and let them come to me, I brush them, I allow them cuddle me on my bed and come and go as they please. They’re indoor rabbits and have the whole run of my bedroom ( as well as having their own corner with toys/ beds/ litter tray etc. I always hear stories about people and even have friends with rabbits who adore them and are so close and their bunnies get excited when they come home etc. But even now, if I even get up to get something they freak out and run and hide, if I need to catch them for the vets it takes me a good solid half hour. If I try and cuddle or stroke them or hold them they bite, scratch, and freak out.

I just don’t understand- I absolutely adore them, they get so much of my time, attention, they get so many toys and treats and I’m at a loss. I want them to love me so so much. Please please please help!

[DorothyTheMiniSatinBun]

First I would say do whatever you can to stop chasing them. Make it seem like their decision to get into a crate for a vet visit by luring them in with a piece of parsley or cilantro or another treat. Try not to force them to cuddle. I know it’s hard, but it could be that they are the type of bunnies that like to run around and play more than they like to relax. What I would do is try to get them to associate you with good things only. Don’t bother them so much when they’re out of their enclosure. When you’re around, they always get a piece of parsley or salad or treat hay. Also, some bunnies aren’t happy about being picked up, so maybe try to do that as little as possible. I am not a bunny expert, but my bunny is extremely active and can never sit still. She loves me now, and I think this is because I rarely pick her up (unless its an emergency), and my first interactions with her were always very positive. It could also just be your specific bunny’s personality too and maybe one is influencing the other.

[vanessa]

I have 2 snuggly bunnies, and 2 bunnies who are somewhat wary of me. Each bunny is different. I’v had them for 4 years. The two elusive buns let me pet them in the mornings when they feel at their best. Later in the day they don’t want to be petted. The NEVER want to be picked up. I have to corner them into a carrier. IT takes 15 minutes per bunny. I agree – dont’ chase them. I dont’ chase mine. But I’v been unable to train them to go into a carrier for a treat, because they know that I’m going to close the carrier gate on them. I’m confused about your post – you said you brush them, and allow them to cuddle you on your bed – but you also say that when you try to cuddle them or stroke or hold them, they scratch, bite and freak out. Is it only morning time that they cuddle you? Is the scratching / freaking out only later in the day? If that is the case – don’t try to touch them later in the day. Work with them in the mornings when they feel at their best.

[DanaNM]

First off, are your buns spayed/neutered? 

Assuming they are, they are probably just growing up a bit. I doubt they hate you (hate is a human emotion, ya know), it sounds like they are scared and tired of being handled so much. Most bunnies do NOT like being picked up. Yours probably tolerated it because they were babies. 

With bunnies it is best to play hard to get. Let them approach you. Ignore them when they do at first, don’t immediately try to pet them. Hand feed them as much as possible. 

When they are calmly sitting next to you on their own, you can “ask” to pet them, by putting the side of your hand on the ground in front of them first, with the back of your hand facing them. Then you can slowly reach out with the back of your hand leading, and pet their heads and ears. 

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

[Ellie from The Netherlands]

It’s not too late, rabbits won’t specifically hate someone unless they’ve been exceptionally mean to them. Take my brother in law for example, who used to kick my BF’s previous rabbit. She attacked him on sight and chased him out of the room for quite a while after that. Eventually things calmed down, but he had to work hard to be allowed back in the living room again. Of course, as a real rabbit lover you’d never do something so offensive. So I think there must be another explanation and I suspect the same as Dana does in the post above: it’s most likely hormones.

Like all mammals, rabbits go through puberty. Rabbits get their puberty from approx. 3 months after birth. And like any teenager, they aren’t on their best behaviour when the hormones are running wild. In this stage rabbits may become more elusive, have litterbox and agression/territory issues, start to really destroy things and misbehave in general. Females can become fiercely territorial. Sometimes they’ll make fake nests out of their fur and will treat that like it’s a real nest, with all territorial issues included. Males may start to spray urine everywhere to mark their territory, and humping behaviour will start. Nothing will be safe from them, and it can be really embarrassing and unhygienic. The first year is the worst phase for a rabbit owner: their pets suddenly go from cute fuzzballs to hyperactive destructive little monsters. Young rabbits have more energy than they know what to do with, and it often ends in destruction and frustration. Many rabbits are dumped while going through this phase.

There’s a way to put a leash on all these behaviours: spaying or neutering. Your rabbits will calm down, improve their litterbox habits and become more sociable again. Spaying/neutering is also important for their health: intact rabbits are very likely to develop cancer in their reproductive system after age 4, especially the females. Fixed rabbits can live for 8 to 12 years My advice if they’re still intact: find a vet who has specialised in rabbits and let them be fixed. It’s important to find a specialised vet, because rabbits are considered exotic pets and they’re extremely fragile. Your everyday vet who mainly treats cats and dogs will likely not have the proper knowledge to treat a rabbit safely. Ask the vet and the staff if they regularly neuter/spay rabbits, and test their knowledge a bit. If anyone in the clinic tells you to let your rabbits fast before the procedure: run, your rabbits are at risk!
After a spay/neuter the hormones will die down within 6 weeks. Your rabbits will become a lot more pleasant. They may still have a lot of energy because they’re young, but it’ll be easier to direct that energy towards toys and other things that can be destroyed safely. After the age of 1 they’ll start to calm down a bit in general.

Remember that not all rabbits are cuddly, and they’ll always dislike being picked up because they’re a prey species. When chased and/or picked up their instincts are telling them that their last hour has struck. The advice for any rabbit interaction is to let the rabbit come to you whenever possible. Also: allow your rabbits to have their own daily schedules and respect those schedules if you want to interact. Rabbits are creatures of habit and they’re crepuscular animals: active during twilight hours. They’ll be more active in the morning and in the evening as a form of protection against predators. Afternoons are usually spent napping away in their hiding place. If you want to interact, let them come to you when they’re up for it. You wouldn’t want to be woken at 2 in the morning by your pets, and neither do they want to be disturbed when they’re at rest.

Talking about habits: my rabbit Breintje doesn’t want to cuddle unless it’s a specific time. He’ll spend the whole day doing his own thing, being comfortably close to me but at a distance. The occasional pat on the head is fine, but do more and he’ll get grumpy and hide in his box. But as soon as it’s 10 in the evening all the floodgates open, and he jumps on the couch demanding attention: *Thump* “I said I demand attention!”. He’ll happily sit next to me for cuddles for the rest of the evening until I go to bed. They’re very strong-willed animals with their own personalities, and the more you let them be themselves, the better your bond will be.

[DanaNM]

So much yes to all of what Ellie says! 

And yes, they definitely have moods! My Bunston always wanted his good night pets and cuddles, but was too “busy” to be bothered with me in the morning!

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

[ownedbybunnies315]

I agree with everything being said…rabbits don’t really have the ability to truly establish a bond with their humans until they reach adulthood (about a year old, maybe even a little over a year). Like Ellie said, it’s definitely not too late. It might even be a bit too early to expect to be able to bond with them. Baby buns are deceptively snuggly, but only because they are babies, not because they are creating a bond with their human. Until they reach adulthood, they are a mess of hormones (especially if they are not fixed) and rabbit prey instincts, which are, of course, telling them to absolutely NOT let a human touch or pick them up. As your buns get older, they will learn. Don’t take their behavior right now personally; they are just growing up. And definitely let them come to you on their own. You don’t have to pick them up and handle them everyday. This doesn’t teach them to be okay with being handled, it only teaches them that when you approach them, they will be picked up. As prey animals, rabbits have to learn what NOT to be afraid of. Let them keep their feet solidly on the ground and offer treats when they approach you. If they don’t approach, they don’t get a treat. They will learn, quickly. Only pick them up when you absolutely have to, and try not to make any pattern from it that they can learn. Mine are both adults. I don’t pick them up often, but neither one causes too much of a fight out of it. They know I will put them down as soon as I can, so they tolerate it just fine, and it isn’t because I tried to “get them used to it.”
And I definitely agree with letting them sleep during the day. My buns can go straight through from 10 AM to 4 PM without wanting to be bothered. So I leave them alone. Then, suddenly at 4 PM, everyone wakes up and wants attention. Your buns are only 9 months old. They’re not quite there yet, so be patient with them, and don’t feel like their behavior is about you. It’s not. With everything it seems like you have to offer them, they will come around as they mature into adulthood.

[Annalise_Jay]

I’ll brush them for a little bit before they bite me and run away. Also they have access to my bed , so sometimes (most of the time) I’ll wake up and they’re snuggling next to me in bed , but as soon as I lift my hand to stroke them that’s when they freak out. Generally if I’m perfectly still they’ll sit and cuddle on my bed with me but as soon as I move even to pull the covers up that’s when they freak and bite me ?

[Annalise_Jay]

Thank you so much for such an indepth reply! They’ve both been spayed/neutered I think I’ll definitely try giving them some more space … I guess I just panicked because I just really want them to love me !!!! Thank you so much ???

[Annalise_Jay]

Thank you everyone for your replies – i was advised by my vet to pick them up every day to ‘get used to it’ but clearly that’s not the solution! I’ll try and back off and give them some space and wait until they grow up a bit !! But I’ll stop panicking for the moment aha ? Thank you all for taking the time to reply and making me feel less unloved by my bunnies !

[Ellie from The Netherlands]

I’m happy to hear that they’re already fixed, this eliminates a big potential source of problems. Has it been more than 2 months ago already? If not, there may be some residual hormones. I disagree with the advice your vet gave you: rabbits absolutely hate being picked up, instinctually it feels like a death sentence to them. That’s not something you can ever get used to, you can’t bypass an instinct. Normal handling such as petting and hand-feeding is something you can practice daily, but I strongly disagree with picking them up without a good reason (putting a rabbit on your lap is not a good reason). Good reasons are essential grooming/medical reasons (nail clipping, eye cleaning, inspection of paws and bottom etc.) and emergencies where they need to be transported quickly. My advice would be to pick up rabbits only when neccessary and keep it as short and as comfortable for them as you can by proper lifting techniques. Reward them with a treat afterwards to give the experience a positive ending. Rabbits (and other animals) work by association: if they associate picking up with a treat, they’ll still hate it but may be a bit less panicky because they know it’ll end on a positive note. Our Breintje bun still hates to be picked up, but as soon as I put him on the couch he’ll thump out his discomfort and demand his raisin.

There is a surprising amount of stuff you can teach a rabbit which makes it mostly unnecessary to pick them up. Some rabbits are nearly as trainable as dogs. Rabbits can be trained to jump into their cage when requested, they’ll hop onto the couch next to you if they want to, and there are many other examples where picking them up can be avoided. Sometimes you’ll even be able to clean an eye while they’re on the ground. There are many articles online about handling rabbits, bonding with frightened rabbits and even on training rabbits. We’ve taught our Breintje some things, including when it’s time to jump into his cage. At a short command he’ll hop into his cage and he’ll stand there ready to receive a treat.

The key to bonding and working with rabbits is to acknowledge their fearful nature: whatever happens, it must come from the rabbit’s side and not your side. Because they’re a prey species, an active role from your side will push them into their prey instincts. Step back, allow them to come to you and it’ll work miracles. Rabbits are slow to trust, and easily shy away from people. Now that they’re becoming more independent adults, they’ll need to find out for themselves how they feel about interaction. Some rabbits are absolute cuddlebugs, some prefer the company of their own species, and some are a mix. They’re all individual personalities, and they’re in the phase where they’re growing into adulthood. Allowing them to explore their own comfort zone is vital now. Here are several websites which I found very helpful:

http://language.rabbitspeak.com/
http://www.wikihow.com/Bond-With-Your-Rabbit
http://www.therabbithouse.com/behaviour/problem-picking-rabbit-up.asp

[ThorBunny]

Very good advice from Ellie!

I don’t have a lot to add, but I will just say that I have now lived with Thor for 6 months without ever picking her up. She does tolerate it at the vets, and once when we first got her I had to pick her up in an emergency, but other than that it has been all paws on the ground! We’re all happier this way. It was pretty easy to train her to get in the carrier on command, which is how I transport her now. I know others have had mixed results in carrier training, but it doesn’t hurt to try

[Author]

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