Pet Ownership

[GHbun]

Philosophical Question: Why do we do this to ourselves???

Thinking of what Sarita is going through with Jingles, and the Support Forum that was started this year, I wonder why we set ourselves up for the heartbreak of losing these animals? So many members have tag lines that memorialize lost pets, and we all held our breath last week when Frankie was sick. We know when we start down the path with a new pet that we are almost certain to out live it. Most of us would, in fact, be anxious at the thought of not outliving it and needing to find a new owner. 

My own 48 years has been shared with many animals. With the exception of my daughter’s fat ‘n’ happy guinea pig and those odd little hedgehogs we fostered this summer, every animal I’ve ever cared about is dead, which saddens me and makes me hesitant about starting over. We nursed the girlbun and kept her going for a year after the vet gave her a month to live. By the time she was gone, the boybun was so frail that we couldn’t introduce a new companion. If he’d been in better health, we would have brought in another one before he died, and I would have had an uninterrupted line of bunnies. As it is, I now have the option of not starting over. I miss them so much even now. But is missing a specific rabbit the same as missing being a bunny slave? I’ve been longing for another furbaby of my own, but i’ve also passed up great opportunities. Clearly, I’m ambivalent about opening my heart again to an animal (acually, I want another pair) that would be gone in a decade or less. A rabbit’s lifetime is a looong time when you’ve made a mistake in getting it; however, that same lifetime is so very short when it was the right decision.

So, guys, what do you think? Is my hesitancy normal, or does it mean I’m already out of the bun biz? On one hand, I daydream of new habitat plans, and visit this site nearly every day. I’ve made a standing offer to a friend to take her bunny off her hands (acquired as an Easter present for her kids this past spring, now caged in the garage). On the other hand, I’m not making any strides towards getting another bunny, and have let the bunny-proofing of the family room lapse. Maybe it’s too much self-analysis, and I should just jump (or, more appropriately, hop) back into it. Maybe I should be sensible and listen to my hesitancy. Arrrgh! I’m back to where I began: are those adorable licks and nose bumps that I miss worth setting myself up for certain heartbreak? Why do we do this to ourselves?

Your thoughts would be appreciated.

[Hedi]

It may sound silly but it is the cost/benefit analysis. The benefit totally ways out the cost with our little furry friends. The love they give us once we are trusted is unconditional and they can make you smile when no one else can.

Birth and death have been and always will be a part of our lives while we are alive. I think most of us would prefer not to think about death until it happens with our own anmials. But I know for me not only have i brought 4 beautiful buns into my home to love but I do feel they love me back. The happy dance they do when I come feed them every morning is more than enough to make it all worth it for me. The other side is offering a loving home while the animals are here. They didnt ask to be here and many times “shouldnt” be here with animals reproducing at alarming rates but once they are here they deserve the best we can give them.

Some people are so afraid of being “left” that they never pursue loving relationships and then what becomes of them? A lonely sad person all alone just to make sure they dont get emotionally hurt. And then they stay sad and alone because they aren’t willing to give a part of themself to another.

I’m married but no children and I put my buns first. As soon as I come home late from work the very first thing I do is feed my buns-before I even take my shoes off. I love them so much I would/will do anything I can to make them happy. I know one day I will lose them but it isn’t worth worrying about until it happens. And when they do pass we can eventually find another bun to love and give a home to.

[kralspace]

I think you’ll meet a bunny that makes ‘the’ connection with you and you’ll know it’s time to say Come Home with me.

[bunnyluvr]

I have had 4 wonderful bunnies cross the rainbow bridge in the last 8 years. I had about 4 years with 3 of them and only 2 years with the 4th. It rips me up every time that one of them goes, just totally devestates me. People ask me why I get another when the last one hurt me so much and the answer is simple. It’s because while they are here they bring me so much joy! There is nothing like coming home after a long stressful day and seeing that sweet furry face. No matter how awful my day has been, no matter how depressed, grumpy, tired or miserable I feel I always smile when I see my sweet babies. They make me laugh, they give me love and make me so happy that I can’t imagine my life without at least a couple of them running around. No matter how much pain there is when they cross over it gets better day by day and after awhile I can be happy again with my memories of them (even tho they still make me a little sad). I also have had all of them creamated and have some shelves set up with pictures and their urns and when I’m really missing them I talk to them. Anyway, my point is that the deep agonizing pain from losing them doesn’t last forever, it gets better day by day and all the joy they bring me while they are here is worth it to me.

[Princess*Smudge]

For me I guess it’s knowing that yes pets will pass away, but when I think of all the abused or neglected animals and I think that my pets (all being rescues) were those animals at one point and even could still be now had I not stepped in it’s enough to make it easier to deal with the thought of losing them. I look at the animals in the shelters (dogs, cat, rabbits, anything really) and even though I know they’re taking care of they’re still missing out on human companionship… that feeling you know your bunny or your pup or cat has when you have some treat for them or they get excited when you come into the room.

I’m a big advocate of adopting older animals, because even if you might get to spend half the years with them than if you adopted a baby, you also know that their last years gave them happiness they hadn’t known before and that when they do go they had a warm home, food and and treats and more love than they might have had in their entire lives previous to you having them .
Whenever I start thinking about how I’m going to deal when I lose one of my animals I just look at them. Like my cat who is turning 9 now, his life started out abandoned in a cardboard box left to die, beaten terribly and starving. The first time I saw him he was in a tiny little cage at the shelter, he had limited time to play and stretched out end to end he still had to curl up to fit. He had food and water and vet care and some attention when the people were there. So it was much better than being on the streets, but every night he had to sleep in that cage alone and couldn’t walk around or chose where to take a nap. He had to go and live with a friend of minefor a couple years when we lost our house and it broke my heart but just this week we were able to take him back in and when I look at him on my bed next to me stretched out on his blanket purring away I know that even though he is getting older and I missed out on part of his life he’s back now and he’s so happy. That’s all the counts is that he is as happy as he can be now. That all my pets are. Smudge the bunny, Pepper the dog, Tigerlily and kitten, and Louie the cat. They all started out abused and alone. When they go I’ll be devastated, but I’ll also be comforted knowing that their lives with our family were great. They had us all wrapped around their paws and they knew it. They cuddled with us, played, knew that when we came through that door we were going to spend the next fews hours making up for the guilty feeling we had for having to go to school or work that morning…. and they milked it for all it’s worth. Which is so much better than their lives could have been had we not come in, sure you can say “someone nice would have taken them home” which is entirely possible but that doesn’t always work because if it did we wouldn’t have the problem of no room in rescues and so many animals needing to be put to sleep because they are unwanted.

In the end it’s going to hurt, but I hurt alot more for the ones that aren’t getting saved even if I don’t know them all. We prove to the ones we can take in that humans aren’t so bad and life can be really really good. I’d rather know that they died happy than died feeling completely abandoned.

[Beka27]

like others have said, i do it more for them than for me. i would rather a rabbit die in my home in my care knowing it is loved, than in a shelter where no one is there to comfort it. death is difficult, but i think closing yourself off to that experience isn’t any easier. it still exists. just b/c you might not be experiencing it first-hand does not mean it’s not an issue. i honestly ache for each and everyone of us who loses pets. it’s very upsetting, but i think we’re fortunate when the good days outweigh the bad…

Sarita loved her Jingles very much, KokanneandKahlua loved Kokanee, BinkyBunny loved Bailey, rabbitpam loved Spockie (and so on…) but this now opens their homes and their hearts to help another deserving bunny that otherwise might never get a forever home… it might take them a month, it might take ten years, but they always have that option of caring for another delicate creature without a voice.

you can not save them all, but you can maybe save one or two at a time. you can do this over and over again… and at the end of your life you can look back and see all the animals you have helped and loved and you’ll be happier for it.

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

Tamera I think your hesitancy is normal. We all grieve and we grieve differently. And yes I’ve heard many people say they do not want another pet because it will die and they can’t deal with it. Its almost been six months since my Kokanee crossed Rainbow bridge and I’m still heartbroken and cry often for her.

It’s a personal decision, to cope with the loss for the benefit of the animal. They give us love and companionship, unconditional furry love-the best kind. They ask nothing in return and are thankful for the wonderful home we provide.

Here’s a wonderful story somewhat related. (www.rabbit.org)

The Gift
Amy Berg Douglas

Sam still expected to see Sundance waiting for him on the other side of the front door when he returned from work, her tail wagging and head bobbing in excitement. Instead he entered a quiet, lonely house. While he rummaged through the refrigerator looking for a beer, the door-bell rang.
He recognized the woman who stood on his porch. They often commuted on the same bus and had chatted from time to time. She held a cage.

“Hi,” she said cheerfully. “I wondered if this was your rabbit. I found her yesterday on my way home from work. She was sitting by the side of your house. I knocked, but no one was home.”

“A rabbit?” Sam questioned.

“I called Animal Control, but no one has reported a missing rabbit.”

“It’s not mine,” Sam said.

“I didn’t think so, and I would have kept her as a companion for my rabbit, but then…,” she hesitated. “I remembered that you had to put your dog to sleep a couple of months ago.” She kicked at a chip of peeling paint on the step. “I thought maybe you could use a friend right now.”

“Here, look,” she said, handing Sam the cage. “Don’t worry, if it doesn’t work out for you, I’ll be happy to take her.”

“It’s not that. I’m not equipped for a rabbit.”

“Mine lives indoors. This girl seems to be housetrained, and I’ll lend you the cage until you can get your own. I’ve got it all set up.”

“But…,” Sam protested as the woman descended his steps.

“If you have any questions, I live in the yellow house across from the park,” she called back.

Sam set the cage down on the kitchen floor and looked at the tortoiseshell-colored rabbit. She had large dewy black eyes and a fat paunchy fold on her chest. “I don’t believe there’s any such thing as a housetrained rabbit,” he said, lifting the lid of the cage. The rabbit jumped out onto the kitchen floor, sliding a distance across the linoleum before she came to a stop. Sam noticed several pellets in the litterbox wedged in the corner of the cage where the rabbit had been sitting. “Got any other tricks?” The rabbit twitched her nose. “Yeah, well, that’s about what I figured.”

That night Sam awoke from a dream he’d had several times before. All he remembered was standing at the edge of a forest. He’d lost something but didn’t know what. He tried to go back to sleep, then decided to get up and warm some milk. As soon as he turned on the kitchen light, the rabbit began pushing against the lid.

“Tomorrow you’re going back,” Sam said, opening the cage. The rabbit jumped out and ran to the open refrigerator as Sam got his milk. He gave the rabbit some carrot, then sat down on the floor beside her while the milk heated. When Sam went back to bed, he fell into a deep sleep.

The next morning he looked for the woman on the bus. He looked for her again during the return commute. Two doors down from the bus stop was a pet store he’d gone to back when Sundance was alive. Sam went in to browse. He checked the price tag on a rabbit cage and bought five pounds of rabbit food.

Now why did I go and do that, Sam wondered, on his way home. He decided he’d give the food to the woman when he returned the rabbit–a gesture of “thanks, but no thanks.” After all, he was never home. He wouldn’t have kept a dog, except Sundance had been his since he was sixteen.

At home, he opened the cage to let the rabbit out. As she washed her face, one ear pointed straight up, the other due east. Sam laughed. He refilled the water bottle and added fresh food to the dish. “I am going to return you,” he warned.

That night Sam’s recurring dream awakened him. Sundance was bounding away from him into a thick forest. “Sundance!” he called after her. She reappeared playfully, nosing a rabbit toward him, then shot off into the trees again. Sam knew she was gone forever. In his grief he clutched his stomach and bent over. At his feet sat the rabbit.

“So that’s the dream I’ve been having,” Sam said aloud. He pulled the covers around him and took a deep breath. The tightness in his chest eased. He’d seen his dog again, if only in a dream.

On Friday morning he looked for the woman on the bus. He rehearsed what he’d say when he did see her. “A rabbit doesn’t fit into my life right now.” Then he remembered his dream–Sundance had brought him a rabbit–a gift to fill the space. He realized that was the same dream he’d had the night his dog was put down.

Sam let the rabbit run around his yard while he washed and dried the cage in the early morning sun. The cage was awkward to carry with everything in it, and he wondered how the woman had managed. He knocked at the front door of the yellow house, hoping it wasn’t too early on a Saturday morning to come by. The woman answered. “Hi,” she said, though her smile quickly disappeared when she noticed what Sam carried in his arms.

“Here’s the cage and some extra food. I had to get some things from the pet store anyway.” He hesitated. “I hope you and your rabbit will come by and visit us sometime.”

“Sounds like a great idea,” the woman said, smiling broadly again.

“Thanks for bringing the gift,” Sam said, returning her smile.

[bunnytowne]

Thats a beautiful story.  I wonder as I see older people senior citizens.  Their friends have passed away, their parents are gone.  They know their time is soon.  I think to myself it must be hard to keep making new friends knowing they may pass b4 we do. But we go ahead and do it anyway. We take the chance for some happiness even though we know heartache and loss may be just around the corner.

For me I will deinitely get another bun when  Cotton or Ruby passes.  What is hard for me is that I remember what the one I lost was like and hope that I dont’ put those expectations on the new bunny, when that time comes.

It will be a rescue bunny not a petstore bunny.  And yes an adult bunny. As a previous post here said the older ones may not have a lot of years left but I would feel a whole lot better taking one in than leaving it to sit while we pass it buy cause it is an adult.  If enuf people pass it by it may be euthanized.  The poor bun doesnt’ deserve that. The bun doesn’t deserve what happened for  it to be there.

I enjoy my 3 yr old Honey Bun and I feel so much better knowing he isnt’ getting passed up cause of his being 3 yrs. Thats part of the reason he was chosen.  He kind of picked us. He is a nice surprise from my hubby.

In fact I am going to put him in the kitchen to be closer to me after I nap. So he can feel a big part of being part of our family.

[kralspace]

I agree with BT, in fact I guess I AM one of those seniors…lol. I’ve lost so many family members and friends and my fiancee that I feel I know more people on ‘that’ side than here. But I have friends of all ages, older and younger and like my 4 legged friends, new ones don’t replace anyone, they join the group.

I bought my horse when I was 16 and she owned me for 33 years, finally had to hold her for the bridge crossing in 2001, we were both 49 years old and it was the hardest thing I’d ever done til then.

I got into the buns because my son wanted one and quickly found how comforting and quieting it is to care for them. Well, except for Pringles and Lola on a bad day, they can create excitement, but all in all they have been irreplaceable grief therapy for me and I hope I’ve given them a good home in return.

I too will go for the adult and older buns from now on. Nothing against the cute babies, but my experience with 6yr. old Hershey has been amazing. Watching her go from a sanctuary bun (an excellent sanctuary) to a demanding housebunny with her own space and territory that she guards ferociously. She has a cardboad castle where she spends most of her time digging in her sheepskins blankets. She peeks out when you call her name and the look in her eye says Yes, I AM Hershey and this is MINE!

It does make me sad when she allows me to rub her forehead and pet her, and I can feel her frailness compared to the younger, husky buns, but she’s happy and active and I’ll keep her that way as long as I can.

[KatnipCrzy]

It is hard to lose a pet- and everyone deals with it in different ways.  Some people need to wait awhile before getting another pet and others get one right away.  I have done both.  When I found out our dog had cancer (my first pet that I made all the decisions for and that I had since I was 18)- I got a puppy, so that while Hershey was still alive she knew Skye- and I truly believe that Hershey knew she was ill and she knew that Skye was going to be the one that could take over her role.  I look back at the months that I was able to have them together, and I am glad that it worked out that way.  We then lost our second dog to cancer less than 6 months later.  And I think I must have known that he was ill even before the diagnosis- as we got Molson 3 weeks before Linus was diagnosed.  So it worked out well with the dogs- and it was comforting to me to always have a bit of Hershey and Linus in Skye and Molson.

But with the cats we have lost to cancer- I would not have even considered bringing a kitten into the house and stressing them.  It took me about 9 months or so before I got a new kitten- and it was not even what I was “looking” for.  I wanted a female- either silver tabby or siamese/siamese mix.  I work at a vet clinic and see tons of kittens and a fair amount need homes.   When my friend told me about a black smoke kitten with extras toes that she was fostering- I agreed to take a look- even though I did not want another black cat like Shadow.  But it was meant to be- so I ended up with a black cat with silver undercoat, tabby markings and the same white patches that Shadow had.  And she behaves the most like Shadow- even though she never knew her.

I have no kids, and am not terribly quick to get to know and trust people and develop close friendships.  So my pets really are my life.  And it is devastating to lose one- but the others are always there to help.  If I am ever sad- snuggling with the bunny makes me feel better no matter what the reason.

Julie

[GHbun]

Thanks for your thoughts, everyone. Animals do bring so much to our lives, maybe part of what I’m feeling isn’t grief as much as empty nest syndrome. I’m kinda hoping that the issue resolves itself with my friend showing up at my door with Petey, Holland lop Easter present who’s stuck in the garage. Perhaps Petey and I need each other.

[KytKattin]

I know how you feel. In fact, if Nova had not come into my life when she did I would have given up on having a pet rabbit. Not only had my two previous house rabbits died young, but I failed to make much of a connection with them and because their deaths were relativly close together I felt like a failure. Now I’m glad that I rescued Nova and decided to keep her. Sure, she was tempermental, and unpredictable, but I also know that we came to eachother at a time when we both needed eachother (albeit, her more than me at the time). In turn, she has helped me get through the death of my beloved horse. Yes, I do know that some day she will pass over the rainbow bridge, but I also have a different mindset with her than I had with my other rabbits. Since I rescued her from what was sure to be death, it makes me realize she’s on borrowed time. Yes, I know we all are, but I think that it’s often forgotten or ignored with our pets.

[(dig)x(me)x(now)]

Tamera – have you thought about fostering a pair of shelter bunnies? That might be a good place to start if you’re not sure you can handle the long-run again and you always have the option of being their forever home if it feels right. If not, at least you’d know you helped give them a better life.

[BinkyBunny]

I understand worrying about having to endure the pain of loss. And if one does fear the painful feeling of loss all the way through from beginning to end, it can actually make the feeling of love also feel painful at the same time. Not a pleasant feeling. I know it can be harder for some to block out the inevitable loss, but I know for me it helps me to believe they will be in peace in the here-after – whatever that may be. But in the meantime giving love feels the same to me as receiving love when it comes to our animal companions, and that enriches both of our lives. And when they are gone, though I feel pain right away, the strength of the sting subsides and leaves me with the feeling of the original love given/received – and I have that for my lifetime.

[LittlePuffyTail]

Bunnylvr- you posted exactly what I was going to say so ditto to everything in your post (inlcuding the urns and the shelves, I even have my buns favorite toys and shelters with their urns complete with stuffed bunnies that looked like them so I still sort of get to see them everyday)

I lost 2 cats and 2 rabbits in the past five years, both young and old. But when I think of how happy they were with me, that I made that short or long time they had here the best possible, it’s worth the pain it causes to lose them.

No one in this world gives unquestioning love like a furry friend. All they ask for is love and they will give you so much back.

[skunklionshow]

I honestly believe that animals have shorter life expectancies than humans so that we can share our lives w/ sooo manny animals. 

I have had to deal with the loss of young and old animals.  Each time is sad and awful…but it is part of life’s circle.  When my first cat (the cat I got after I moved out of my parent’s house), I think I watched “Lion King” about a million times.  Death is part of this cycle and most utilize their faith to feel a connection and understanding about death.  I’m ok w/ it and see it as just another stage that we pass.  I’ve worked in hospice, with adults, children, and elderly.  I felt honored to be a part of all of those people’s lives during the end of their lives.  I don’t think it’s easier if they are old vs young b/c they all have a purpose in their lives and we s/b honored to share that w/ them.  I think the same is w/ animals.

DH’s cousin just gave birth to a stillborn baby.  She was anxiously awaiting his arrival, which was eminent.  She went to bed after doing her nightly belly rub and kind words and woke up and felt nothing.  Her doc told her to come in immediately.  All tests showed the baby was dead.  She had to undergo his delivery, knowing that he was already dead.  I felt ok w/ death.  I felt strong w/ my own beliefs that I could be supportive of her and her family at this time.  At the funeral, I completely broke down.  I just couldn’t understand “why” or “how” this could happen.  She is a good person and an excellent mother.  Her husband is wonderful and her children are beautiful….I just couldn’t grasp my mind around this loss.  I had to do some psychological introspection w/ this issue.  After all, I had been able to volunteer w/ families losing young children that didn’t even have the chance at life…but I couldn’t handle this baby’s death.  W/o going into great detail of my introspection, these feelings were really based on my own feelings of good/ bad, fears of my own future…etc. 

In short, most of our sorrow related to death, is based on our own selfish feelings.  I mean selfish in description, not necessarily as a negative emotion.  We grieve our loss of not sharing our lives with that person.  Feeling, seeing, being w/ them.  We don’t mourn the loss that they’ve moved on to a better or more sound existence.  I hope that made sense, I’m trying to be sensitive to various religions/beliefs. 

Like Kathy & Katnip said, it’s the feelings & love that you feel from those pets.  Some have personalities that s/b cloned, others…well…I think it just reminds us how much love we have to share all the time, throughout our own lifespan.

[Beka27]

my word SLS… my thoughts are with your cousin. that is such a heart-breaking thing. i can say that that would make me shut down for a long time… wow…

[laylalover]

Hi everyone. Well, the last time I wrote it was to tell you all about Layla’s passing..that was almost two months ago. We just got home, and her cage was there, but empty. My heart still hurts. And i finally decided to write again, and i saw this conversation and it’s exactly what i needed to know! Layla only lived for 7 months…is that normal? How long do Rabbits normally live for? Are they all so terrbly fragile? I was thinking of prehaps getting a kitty – they are more resiliant…but my heart is withour furry sweet friends…but I don’t think I could handle another bun who i love passing away so quickly! I just don’t know what to do…I feel blessed that I was allowed to love her, and that she deemed me good enough to love…but for such a short time??? We looked after her so well, and in the end, she just couldn’t pull through. So basically, my question is, are all rabbits so terribly delicate?? What should I do???

Also, i would like to say thanks…it’s amazing how these furry love balls have brought so many people together – sharing love and wisdom. so thank you to our bunnies, and thank you all!

[Beka27]

i’m glad to hear from you again. to answer your question, no… not all buns live such short lives. they are fragile, but with proper diet and care they will usually live longer than that. i am not saying you did not provide everything she needed tho… there could have been many reasons for her passing. she had just been spayed as i remember so it’s possible she did not fully recover from that. she might have been weaned too early and that could have had a bad effect on her healthwise. it may have been due to a stasis episode which without vet intervention took a turn for the worse. she might have had a heart condition… the list goes on and on. there is no way for you to know the reason she passed. some buns do leave us early, but others live to the ripe old age of 10 years and on… premature death can happen in any animal, as well as in humans. who knows why some children get cancer and others do not? it’s just… life. death is a part of life…

continued healing vibes for you!

[skunklionshow]

Layla:  I have to agree w/ Beka.  Most bunns live much longer and the list of possible causes of her death could almost be endless.  It could have been congental, which meant that she was really bad (healthwise) from the get-go. 

I have cats & rabbits.  I don’t necessarily feel that one is really hardier over the other.  My youngest cat, Wolfy, is about 7 y.o. and he was just diagnosed w/ early kidney disease.  I’ve had Wolfy since he was in-utero.  I couldn’t fathom what went wrong.  I automatically blamed myself, when the issue is really that he likely had a genetic predisposition.

Did your vet have any thoughts on what contributed to Layla’s passing?  Where you comfortable to do a necropsy to find the cause?  I honestly believe there was a reason that Layla lived for such a short period of a time, and that reason may not be realized for a long time.  You have a good heart and the desire to share this w/ others.  It may be time for you to consider a new love for your life. 

Let me remind everyone…..that there are support groups and resources available for people dealing w/ grief/loss.  You are not alone and there are people that can help deal w/ these feelings.  I’ll locate some resources and pass them on, likely this weekend.

[Beka27]

i was at the store earlier, getting a card for a baby shower this weekend, and i saw a couple cards for “loss of pet”. it’s becoming more common that folks are truly grieving when they lose a pet. it just goes to show the prominence they hold in our lives. i read something recently that a larger majority of people are living alone, no family, no spouses or children, no roommates. our pets do become our companions.

[Cassi&Charlie]

I still cry for the passing of my beloved dog almost 10 years ago. She was MY pet, my 1st pet, given to me when I was 8, and taken away when I was 14. I gave everything I had emotionally to ‘that darned dog’ (what my Dad used to call her when he was home, he hated her), Brandy and when she was killed by a stray dog that broke into our yard, I thought I would die.

When Charlie, my bunny, had a stasis scare that the vets didn’t think he would survive, I cried for 3 days straight. I even cried in my sleep when I slept.

But the joy, the amazing, unbelievable amount of joy brought into my life by these wonderful pets will always live in my heart. The special moments given to me by these pets will last a lifetime and so I can deal with the inevitable death of them, just like I have to deal with the inevitable death of everything.

[Author]

Messages