Need to Vent

[dramaqueen_msc]

So, I have totally hit a personal wall with the bonding process with Chance and Andre.  This week they’ve gone for "professional" bonding time away from me and apparently it’s going exactly the same as it has here.  I know nothing is guarenteed, but everyone had such high hopes for this that I started to hope.

I don’t want to throw in the towel.  I mean, they hadn’t been together on a bunny date in two weeks because my schedule got so crazy, plus Chance may be feeling I’ve left her completely and is blaming Andre so maybe things will change once they get home.

This is truly heartbreaking and the most frustrating thing I’ve every experienced.  I love them both, I truly do, but I feel like with Chance I’ve shelled out so much energy and love and in return I’ve gotten so much aggrevation.  I know there’s probably no reasoning behind her actions of nipping and biting.  It just makes me wonder what the first week and a half was about.  If anyone had seen them you would have thought they were a love at first sight pair who would always be together.

Anyway, I don’t really have any questions, I just really needed to vent a bit.  I think staring at an empty corner where their cages are and getting this latest news is getting to me.  I’m trying to figure out if I should throw in the towel once they’re back or keep trying since I didn’t do much with them for two, almost three weeks prior to this.

 

Note:  Just so you guys don’t think I’m crazy and understand why I’m so frustrated, there’s a picture of them from day two before everything fell apart on my blog…

http://spoiledhouserabbits.blogspot.com/

 

[JK]

I’m sorry you are having such a difficult time.  This is the place to vent!  Where did you take them to bond?  I must have missed that somehere along this discussion!  These little guys are such an enigma aren’t they?

[dramaqueen_msc]

They went to someone who’s involved with the rescue where I got Andre. Sigh…I just don’t know what to do.

[JK]

Well that sounds like a good plan.  Have you checked in to see how they are doing? I sure hope it goes well for your sake!

[dramaqueen_msc]

Well last night I received a short email saying they’re trying but stuggling which leads me to believe Chance is being her charming self there as well and nipping Andre. As I said, I got my hopes up and started planning a new set up for them to live in together and I’m just bummed. I suppose the only good thing is I’ll have a little more time to work with them once they’re home so hopefully I’ll eventually see some improvement.

[MarkBun]

lemme guess, Chance is the Dutch.

I have learned that bonding can be a long and arduous path. I have decided personally not to begin thinking about throwing in the towel until after 3 months of work. The hard part is that you have to remain constant in your bonding work. I have found a balance right now with my two that doesn’t have them biting one another and has them sharing the same space. But if I ever put Maryann next to Dono, her first move is to bite his head. So I’m putting them into a ‘holding pattern’ with the same bonding technique EVERY night and hoping one of them makes the next move.

[Beka27]

^^^this intrigued me Markus.  have you posted recently about your bonding efforts.  i don’t recall.  i do not want to hijack the thread so i will go look at your recent posts.

[MarkBun]

Check out the thread in the Lounge called “My bonding quest with Maryann”. That has my stuff up to date. I have taken to posting on it about once a week about my current status of things. I’ll also put a link to it in my sig file to make it easier for others to see it.

[dramaqueen_msc]

Hi Markus. I’ve actually watched your youtube videos and I feel like Chance and Maryann are very similar (good call on her being the Dutch, I think it’s in the breed). The only thing that differs is her first instinct isn’t to bite Andre, that usually happens after 10 seconds of them being nose to nose asking eachother for grooming. I think they were fine until Andre got tired of being the only one grooming. I think it’s easy in the heat of the moment when the frustration and heartache biols over to say, “I’m over it” and walk away only to realize you shouldn’t have. So thanks for the tip about 3 months…I’m going to hang in there and figure I’m just starting over since I wasn’t able to work with them for a while.

[MarkBun]

Actually, Dutch and Dwarf breeds do tend to be a little more ‘stubborn’ if you will. And, of course, I am trying to bond one to the other.

You could try the babyfood trick. Take a small amount of banana baby food (or just squish up a banana) and rub a little on the forehead of Chance. That might get Andre grooming her again. Then, put a little onto Andre’s head and see if you can coax Chance into cleaning it off. I tried that trick with Maryann but she decided to try and ‘eat’ Dono’s forehead instead of lick it.

It is important that Andre grooms Chance first as it will show that Chance is in charge (since she is the resident bun and Andre is the new one).

[dramaqueen_msc]

I actually tried baby food and I think Andre thought it was a bad imitation of the banana they both love. This is an excerpt from an email I got last night from the lady who’s working with them which I thought was kind of funny –

“Maybe you can put a baby gate between them. They were fine when I did
that. Eventually, they might grow to lie next to one another on either
side when they feel like they finally want a friend…or they can
continue to flip each other birds.

When I let them have the whole living room to run in yesterday, they
did not fight…just a few scuffle and runs (drive-byes). I’ll try
letting them both have a big roam again today and see what happens.”

So, I’m building them both a new space, I was using a cage and an exercise pen because I had hoped this wouldn’t be a drawn out process of getting them to like each other again. It’s out of those cubes that people build the “condos” out of…I’m making them 3×2 squares each with two raised levels like steps in the back. And every night we will be having together time in the kitchen where it’s a little large then the closet or bath tub and I can get to them easily if they get into it. Perhaps if I ever get the futon blocked off we can move into the living room for bunny dates.

[JK]

That sounds pretty encouraging if you ask me! Your plan sounds good too. Just think…how would you like to have an arranged marriage or friendship!!! It takes time and your little buns are worth it. Look how angelic they look under the bed!!! ha Ha. Good luck!

[dramaqueen_msc]

Hehe, thanks. They do look angelic which is why I think this has been so difficult. Plus I’m a rational person and trying to rationalize the actions of the buggers sometimes is impossible…and I say buggers with complete affection.

[MarkBun]

Maryann gets along great with all rabbits as long as there’s a gate between them. I am doing the similiar thing of giving them enough room to avoid each other. The fact that Maryann isn’t constantly going after Dono tells me that she doesn’t mind him around – as long as he’s not near her.

[dramaqueen_msc]

Well they made it home safely. I’m just in the process of deciding what to do. With their new condos having them separate is not so depressing, I guess because it looks nicer then my previous idea of a cage and an exercise pen. I’m taking 24 hours to think about it. In the end I’ll probably end up trying some more to get them to get along, but I’m weighing all my options.

[JK]

I would just keep them separate for awhile too and just take the whole thing slowly so as not to stress yourself out!  Maybe the more they see each other the more they will want to be together.  It will work out I’m sure.  Just be patient!  Some things just can’t be rushed.

[dramaqueen_msc]

That’s very true. I think we’re going to have a bunny date when I get home tonight. I may see if I can block off the futon (which is actually the thing in the picture that pops up) so they can have free run of the living room. Or they’ll do the usual thing of spending some time on the washer while I do laundry and then being let out in the kitchen. If I can’t get the futon taken care of I’ll let one hop around at a time in the living room after that.

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