My Monty passed and we’re devastated

[Lionheadmama]

Our beloved Monty suddenly left us early Friday morning after being hospitalized a day earlier. It was due to complications from a GI obstruction that ultimately took him. It was traumatic to hear that we were losing him after being told earlier in the day that he was improving. He held on long enough for the Vet to call us to say he wasn’t doing better and passed away while she was on the phone with us.

Monty was 3 months shy of 10 years old and was bonded to his brother Sylvester. They came to live with us when they were babies and have been inseparable since.

We are all absolutely devastated and heartbroken.  The pain is unbearable and we also have to be extra careful that Sylvester doesn’t take a turn for the worse after losing his best friend and brother. We also have a dog who is mourning Monty’s loss and keeps waiting for him to come home. We betrayed them when we took Monty to the hospital and returned with an empty carrier.

The loss is fresh and we are trying to cope. When will the pain subside so we can function again? This is more than I can bear and I dread knowing that I will have to go through it again with my other furbabies.

I just needed to get this off my chest in a space that understands the love of a sweet bunny and the heartache that comes from losing one. Thank you.

On a related note: we have been given a unique opportunity to let Sylvester say goodbye to Monty if we wish. It is not common practice but we are permitted book a visitation to take Sylvester to see his body for an hour. We have mixed feelings because Sylvester seems to be coping reasonably. He is eating, drinking and pooping. Although he tends to hide away in a corner or behind objects, he is responsive when we call him over for treats and does seem to hang out with us. Since it has been a few days, we worry that taking him to see the body will have adverse effects and ruin any progress he’s made through his grieving process. In addition, Sylvester doesn’t enjoy car rides and we would have to take him in the carrier that Monty last used. He may associate that carrier with negative feelings. We will not get rid of it but we’re happy to replace it with a new one that doesn’t smell like Monty. Finally, in our own selfishness, we know it will be very difficult for us. We don’t know what to do but we are running out of time and need to decide ASAP.

[Wick & Fable]

I’m so sorry to hear about Monty’s passing. I’m unsure how quickly you need to decide, so I want to brief and offer my two-cents.

Ultimately, you know Sylvester best. We cannot read our rabbit’s mind, but as people who have been caring and loving Sylvester all this time, I would trust your instinct on what is the appropriate choice, while knowing that there is no way of knowing whether you made the “right” choice— our rabbits cannot communicate that to us, but what we can do is provide the proper love and support with whatever consequences come from the decisions we make.

The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.

[Bam]

I’m so very sorry you lost Monty. It is very hard. There’s not really any general timeline for grieving. It does gett easier with time, though, but some people (I’m personally one of those) need a lot of time.

As for taking Sylvester to spend time with Monty’s body, only you can decide if the benefit outweighs the “cost” in terms of stress. If the vets recommend it, I’d do it, but rabbits as a rule find travel stressful.

As for the carrier, there are many things in your home that still have Monty’s scent on it. I dont think you need to stop using it, just scrub it out. Most rabbits aren’t overly fond of carriers anyway, simply because travelling is not sth most rabbits enjoy, although some rabbits dont seem to mind very much.

[LunaLove33]

So very sorry for your entire families loss. Praying for peace for all of you.

[Lionheadmama]

Thank you all for your kind words and sound advice. We have continued to think things over and have decided to forego taking Sylvester to see Monty. We think the stress from traveling and being in a strange place may outweigh the possible benefit of seeing Monty. We also don’t want to confuse him and/or set him back from his grieving process.

We think we are doing what is best for Sylvester given everything we have seen but we will never know for sure. The feeling of uncertainty can bring a lot of doubt in every decision that we make. We will try our best to make things as comfortable for him and his pet siblings as possible.

 

 

[Bam]

I think you will do wonderfully. You are obviously a very loving, caring pet family. Sylvester is lucky to have you.

Binky free, sweet Monty.

[DanaNM]

I’m very sorry for your loss. 🙁 He sounds like he had a wonderful life with you.

I’m glad Slyvester is doing OK, he may have said his goodbyes before Monty went to the vet. Sometimes they know what’s going on before we do.

Binky free Monty <3

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

[ParsleyBun]

I know it is a very very extemely sad time, but he lived a long and full life, and is not in pain anymore.

[David]

I am so sorry for you loss – the pain of losing them is unbearable. And its natural to feel you have let them down. We are still grieving the loss of our beloved Floppy, a white lionhead who was our world. During Covid last year we had to drop him off at a the Royal Vetinary College, and then await a call after a CT scan. At the time of the call 11am in the morning I was told he had heart attack during the scan, and that would I give permission to stop the resuscitation process. Not being with him at the last moment, was too much, and both of us can understand your feelings, I live with guilt and can only cope by being busy. Every quite moment, I despair and question what I have done. Is time a healer ? I don’t know? The pain never goes it dims a little but is always there. I have spoken with others and the only way of dealing with this is to have purpose of caring for god creatures in anyway we can until the day comes when we can be with them once more.

[Lionheadmama]

I really appreciate everyone’s supportive words. I knew this would be the right place to discuss my grief. You’re all sympathetic bunny parents who know how much joy they bring.

@David – I’m so sorry for you loss. Floppy sounds like such a loved bunny.  COVID has made things harder because we can’t accompany our loved ones in the examination room. We were waiting in the parking lot for a couple of hours when we first dropped off Monty. We were asked if we wanted staff to perform CPR if it was needed. We didn’t expect that staff would actually have to do it. There’s some comfort in knowing that Monty held on long enough for the vet to call us so we knew when he let go and passed away. We miss our little kitten bun dearly. There’s no bunny like him. He didn’t have a full mane and had short, triangular ears that made him look like an orange kitten. He had a grumpy demeanor but was far from it. When he was excited, his eyes would double in size and he looked like Garfield with lasagna.

We’re taking comfort from knowing that Sylvester was given a clean bill of health yesterday from the vet and he continues to do well. Our dogs are also keeping us occupied and our one dog seems to be progressing through her grieving as well.

Pets – they give so much and all they ask for is a piece of your heart. I will gladly give them everything.

[LBJ10]

I’m sorry to hear about Monty. I think you made the right decision in not taking Sylvester to see his body.

[KaterH]

So sorry to hear about Monty xo He was clearly very loved, and what a long life.

I’d only echo what someone else said; that some ppl need a lot of time to grieve, so don’t rush it. My husband and I just lost our senior bun in June to cancer, and I couldn’t even clean her cage for a month. It was just too much, as I was extremely bonded with her. Coming to these forums helped a lot and my friends were super supportive, but the loss totally rocked my world.

I’d really suggest just letting yourself feel it when you need to and having some good cries, but also just trying to still go through the motions even on the bad days. It does improve 🙂

It’s also interesting that you mention your dog! Our youngest dog also took Clover’s loss hard, and really seemed confused that she was gone. Our vet just said to make sure she was eating etc. and to play with her more.

Sending you happy vibes.

[Lionheadmama]

Sorry for the late reply. I hadn’t been checking the forum. I appreciate the kind words. Things have gotten easier as it has been over two months since Monty left us. We have been busy with work but also with taking extra care of Sylvester. He’s not been grooming his underside so we’ve been giving him weekly bum baths and removing mats. He really hates it but has been forgiving me sooner than when we first started. Progress.

We’ve been concerned about his well being and decided to adopt a new mate for him. This time we went with a girl and because she’s young she feels just like getting a puppy. We just brought her home this weekend. So much bunny proofing, so much supervision. We hope that once we start introducing her to Sylvester, he can show her the ropes. She’s a super sweet, affectionate girl. Can you believe someone dumped her? We got her through a rescue.

We’re getting through this. We still miss Monty so much and talk to him at his urn but we’re feeling at peace. This new bunny has been great. Our dogs love her too. We hope Sylvester will accept her.

[DanaNM]

Thank you for the update! There really is something so healing about welcoming a new bun into your home, especially when they are so spunky!

I’m sure she will take good care of Sylvester. <3

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

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