My Gizmo

[giz-n-bella]

 I am so torn up about this…

Two years ago, I fell in love with a rabbit. I named his Gizmo and rushed him home with me. For two whole years, he was my best friend. He was always waiting for me when I got home from work, and while we had our differences (he loved to get behind and under the couch, I didn’t like it so much) he always loved me. 

For about a week or so, she didn’t eat much. She occasionally munched on some hay but not her real food. I kept saying, “I’ll take her to the vet when I get out of work early” I didn’t get out early. She still had a lot of energy and ran from here to there and avoided me when I said it was time for bed in her cage.

I was going to take her to the vet first thing this morning. Unfortunately for all of us, she didn’t make it that long.

Last night (July 8th) she was her usual self. I left for 10 minutes to pick my boyfriend up from work and when we came home she was still normal. Thirty minutes later we tried to get her into her cage for bed. Gizmo wasn’t so normal all of a sudden. She was limp and her eyes were vacant. I held her close to me and rocked her gently as I called my parents for support. We were going to take her to the vet as soon as they opened. Giz got limper. I decided to see if she should still hop around. I put her down and she couldn’t move at all. I broke down in tears. I gently placed her in her cage as I called the 24-hour animal hospital that is 30 minutes away to see if they treated rabbits. It was an automated voice that said there will be a $119 fee just to see the vet. I hesitated. I shouldn’t have hesitated. $119 to save my child should’ve been okay with me. And then I decided it was worth it. I finally spoke to someone…they don’t treat rabbits. She did know of another 24 hour hospital that did. It was roughly an hour away. This was 11pm. I was about to pack up and head out. Gizmo wasn’t breathing. She had already taken her last precious breath.

It’s my fault she passed away. I should’ve taken her to the vet when we first got her. I should’ve taken her when she wasn’t eating. I should’ve rushed her to the animal hospital. I should’ve…done something. I lost my best friend and it was my fault. 

 

I didn’t want another rabbit. Not now anyway. Not until I got over the loss of my kid. I put on facebook that my sweet angel had passed. Today, everyone at work had pitched in money and without my knowledge, went and bought me another baby bunny, treats, and toys. It was over $50. They didn’t need to do that. Now I know they love me.

But is it wrong for me to be torn in two about this? I love this new bunny and I love what my friends did for me. But I miss my Gizmo. I miss dancing with him and seeing him smile. I feel like I don’t deserve the new bunny (Bella) I couldn’t even keep Giz alive. I’ve learned from my mistakes but why did it take something like this? 

I have cried last night, almost all day, and I’m crying now. I feel guilty that I let this happen. I feel guilty that I personally wouldn’t have gotten another rabbit today. I feel like I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel.

To those of you that have lost a rabbit, I’m so sorry for your loss. And now I can say that I know how you feel. Even though I wish I didn’t. 

 

God is taking care of you now, Gizenator. You were loved and will be missed by all. Be a good little bunny up there. Keep your new baby sister safe. And I’m sorry you didn’t get the chance to meet her. She’s already quite a handful. I love you, Gizmo.

[Monkeybun]

I’m sorry to hear about your baby Gizmo

It’s okay to be torn about Giz and the new baby Bella. It’s understandable that you would be upset… but learn from your mistakes and show Bella what a good home she has. Take care fo your little girl, and Gizmo will be watching from the other side of the Bridge, binkying and waiting for the day you will be reunited

[giz-n-bella]

Thank you so much. It’s just hard, ya know? But thank you.

[Monkeybun]

It’s hard yes.. but if it wasn’t, would we ever learn from our mistakes? Just be strong for little Bella.. she deserves the best life you can give her

[jerseygirl]

I’m so sorry for your loss. We understand at Binky Bunny what these little creatures can mean in your life. Things must be still very raw for you as Gizmo has only just left. I do hope in time you heal and are less hard on yourself. Binky Free Gizmo!

[lashkay]

Please don’t feel guilty or blame yourself. Gizmo wouldn’t want to see you unhappy, he wants you to be happy, for you made him happy, so happy that he danced with you and smiled! You were in shock and when we’re in shock it makes it difficult to make decisions. You did what you thought was best at the time and did the best you could and Gizmo couldn’t ask for or want more than that from you at any time of his life. Cherish your memories of Gizmo and let them nourish your relationship with Bella who is waiting for and needs your love, caring, wisdom, patience, and strength which you will give her more and more of as you heal with time. I got my bunny Dustor less than a month after my beloved bunny Buddie passed away and I too was torn between my mourning my Buddie and facing my new little personality I found myself sharing my household with. Give your best to little Bella! You will be fine and everything will work out well. Hugs!

[Kyoshi]

Don’t feel too bad. It is awful losing pets, I’d know. I had a little guinea who was “mean” to me, bit and scratched me, but the day he died I cried and cried and cried. I felt that it was all my fault. This wasnt all your fault. Why hadn’t you been let off work early? Why did they give you an automated answer? Why did they not treat rabbits? These are questions that you probably have asked. Life is rough. But now you have little Bella, and she will keep your hands and heart full. True, she won’t replace Gizmo, but she’ll heal the wounds. So give her the life you could’nt give Giz. Life is meant to have losses, loves, and heartbreak. It’s also meant to have lots of bunnies. Rmember, It is better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all.

 

Heres a quote that might help: It is not the deceased you should pity, but the ones they left behind. The ones that loved them to infinity. The ones that could never live without them, who must now continue on.  Save your heart and soul, move on. They’re off to a better place, and now it’s up to you to fill the gap. Moving on is not forgetting. You’ll never forget. Moving on is showing those taken from our grasps that your ok, that you’ll live. Showing them you’ll have memories to share once you join them.

 

I’m so sorry for your loss.

[LittlePuffyTail]

My condolences on the loss of your Gizmo.

{{{{{{{{Binky Free Gizmo}}}}}}}

[4Lily]

so sorry for your loss! I went through that with the loss of Buttercup! But for myself, I knew I needed to get anouther bunny! Lily hasn’t replaced Buttercup, but I knew Buttercup wanted me to have anouther bunny, he knew I was a good bunny’s Momma! My boyfreind wasn’t over Buttercup either & was upset with me for getting Lily, for the first night, the next morning he had realized that Lily didn’t & would never replace Buttercup, rather Lily halped us through the mourning of Buttercup! Never feel guilty for getting anouther bunny, Gizmo would want you to have a baby! Also, it is not your fault about Gizmo’s passing, it must have meant to happen or it would have worked out differently! I had blamed myself for Buttercup’s passing as well, if I only had let him back in that morning, he would have still been here, but really that is what was meant to happen & there was a lesson to be learned!! Know I am a better Momma to Lily, & my bf is a better Daddy to Lily! Love you new bunny & let him/her help you through the mourning of Gizmo! & FORGIVE YOURSELF!!!!!

[giz-n-bella]

Thank you all so much for your kind words. Bella is helping me to get over Gizmo a little easier. I still find myself calling her Gizmo from time to time by accident though. She is a great little bunny.

But again, thank you all very much.

[Kyoshi]

I believe I’m speaking for everyone when I say that, as bunny owners(maybe future ones), It’s out duty to help people who lost their bunny friends. When do you know your a good pet owner? When you think of your pets as friends, family. When you are cared about by this many members in a community like this. When you can’t forget those who left you. You are a great pet owner. Never forget it.

[Barbie]

I’m so sorry for your loss! Gizmo sounds like a special bunny! I know it’s hard, but please try not to tear yourself up over the “shoulda”s. As others have said, you did what best at the time.

I got my first bunny when I was 6, she lived for 8 years. (Bear with me, this story does have a point that’s relevant to you). When she died, it absolutely devastated me, because I knew in my heart of hearts that I didn’t give her as good a life as she deserved (hey, I was young, and only after she died did I begin to realize what kind of care a bunny truly needs). Anyway, I carried that guilt with me for SIX years and it was only recently that I was able to accept that my mistakes were from my youthful ignorance than from any sort of conscious neglect. Last year I was finally ready for another bunny, but when I got him and started spoiling him (Leroy) the guilt resurfaced because I felt like I should have devoted this much attention and $ to my first bunny, Little Sugar. (Even though when I had Sugar, I was just a kid and not working, so therefore had no $). I’m telling you this for two reasons… First, please please please don’t beat yourself up over Giz’s death. Yes, it’s hard to deal with right now, but please don’t blame yourself. I was carrying that guilt unnecessarily for nearly a third of my life before I was able to forgive myself. You gave Gizmo a great life and you had lots of good times with Gizmo, and she loves you for that. Second, I wasn’t ready for a second bunny for years and years after my first bunny died. I’m glad that you are finding that Bella is a comfort to you! However, I do want to point out that you shouldn’t feel pressured into keeping her because your friends were being nice and trying to make you feel better. That’s a personal choice that they honestly shouldn’t have pushed on you, despite their best intentions. Do what’s right for you

(((((((Hugs!!!!)))))))

[Kyoshi]

PLEASE post some pics of Bella! I’d love to see her!

[Beka27]

I’m so sorry to hear about Gizmo, and I know that she will never, ever be replaced in your heart.

(((Binky free Gizmo!)))

I’m glad that Bella is helping you get over your grief a little bit. Sometimes it helps to move on, and the kind thoughts are obvious, but I think your friends should have really checked with you before going ahead and doing that. At the time, you could have declined taking the new baby bunny, but I know you felt obligated since they had done that for you. It should have been your decision if, when, and from where you got another rabbit. But what’s done is done… so take care of the new girl and give her lots of snuggles.

[Author]

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