My Lilly died about a month ago. She was the sweetest most loving rabbit I have ever had. She would lie on my chest for hours kissing and cuddling with me. She had such sass too, she never failed to let you know if she was displeased, she’s growl or box at the offending party. Her first bond mate, Wizard, passed away exactly 3 days short of a year before her. They were soul mates. I’ve never seen such love before or since. She was so depressed after losing wizard that I brought home Castiel and they bonded but they were just buddies, they liked the company but it wasn’t really love. Lilly was my child. My baby girl. I’m so lost with out her. I thought I would never get over the loss of Wizard, and I wouldn’t have without her support. I don’t have the same connection with Castiel. He’s a great bunny, I love him, but he doesn’t want much to do with me and his rejection is only making me hurt worse.
I had a dream about a bun in the shelter a week ago, Lilly was licking him, I felt like she picked him for me so I went and got him. His names Cocobuki. Cas and Buki seemed really happy at first having each other, now all they want to do is rip each other’s throats out. I know I’ll have a connection with Buki, but it takes time to form a bond and I feel like I can’t connect with him because grieving too heavily for Lilly.
I’m so broken up over her loss. I’ve lost 5 family members this year both human and not and her loss has hurt the worst. I’ve never felt such all encompassing grief before.
I know this was mostly incoherent, but I had nowhere else to go to talk about it.
My parents understand but outside of them pretty much everyone has said “it’s only a bunny” and are surprised I’m taking her death harder than my puppy’s ( my puppy was very old and we knew it was coming, Lilly’s death was very sudden)
They don’t understand she wasn’t my bunny, she was my child. I spent at least 3 hours everyday with her in my arms. I’ve never even had this strong a connection with another person.
I’m just so mixed up. I feel like to heal I need to connect with my other buns but I also feel like I won’t connect to them until I heal.
Sorry. I miss my baby so bad I needed to tell someone
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