Misty

[MD]

I originally posted this at the end of a thread I started a couple months ago.  What was thought to be a pee problem turned out to be a neurological problem instead.  It is possible that she had E. Cuniculi, but tonight the vet, Dr. M, mentioned something else. I can’t remember what she said because I was too upset,  but I’ll ask someone there to write it down for me.  Misty and her sister Daphny are the first rabbits I’ve ever had, and were born in a rabbit shelter after their mom was brought there.  Dr. M said that it’s possible that all the rabbits from the litter could have had the same infection, but in some bunnies, it lies dormant. 

Basically, Misty had been urinating everywhere because she had lost control of the bladder muscles, and that progressed to her back left foot, then her leg, and she’s lose her balance.  Even so, she could still move around pretty fast using her front feet, and all the time I cared for her, I thought she was getting better.  I had just posted a few days ago about how well she was doing, and then out of nowhere, she’s gone.  I’ve only had her for a year and a half, and in the last few months we had really bonded.  I was just not ready to let her go.  I really believed that I could nurse her back to health, and she’d be a happy bunny again.  I didn’t care if she had a limp, I just wanted her to be alive and well.  She didn’t seem like she was in pain, and I thought that she was adapting to her situation.  I thought I was doing my best, but I still feel like I should have tried to do more.  I just can’t believe that she’s gone. 

*****************

I’m sorry to say, but Misty passed away today, June 2, around 8:30pm.  She was perfectly fine last night and had been acting pretty normally.  She seemed to have adapted to her situation and could still move very quickly dispite having lost the use of her back left foot and leg.  I had planned to take her to the vet today anyway, just for a checkup, but when I came to put her in the carrier, she was huddled up in her usual spot, but she wedged her head between the litterbox and the edge of the exercise pen.  I tried to get her to eat a baby carrot, since she loves those, and she could barely chew.

When I got Misty to the animal hospital, her vet said it seemed like Misty had a bunny “stroke.”  She was put on oxygen and an IV, and eventually, they let me in the back to see her.  I would have done whatever it took to get that sweet bunny back to health, and told them to do whatever they needed to stabilize her.  Ultimately though, it seems that her neurological condition had progressed and there was nothing anyone could do to help her.  Dr. M brought Misty back to the room because she was starting to slip away.  At least I got to be with her and stroke her little head as she slipped away.

I had always thought that I’d have both bunnies for many years, I just can’t imagine my life without my sweet little Misty.  I’ve only had them both for a year and a half—it just wasn’t enough time.   I had to bring an empty bunny carrier home, when it should have had Misty inside, just like all the other times.  Now I will only come home to one rabbit, and not my beautiful pair of bunny sisters.   I can’t say “hi bunnies!” anymore when I walk in the door.  It feels like my heart has been ripped out and torn into a million pieces.  I was doing the best I could to nurse her back to health, and in that process, I really bonded with her.  I really didn’t mind giving her the baths and the medicines.  She didn’t like them, so I had to hold her while I fed them to her, and I loved being able to cuddle her and hopefully make her feel better.  I hoped and prayed did the best I could, but it still wasn’t enough.

I’m also concerned about how on earth Daphny supposed to understand that Misty is gone?  She won’t be able to groom Misty anymore or be groomed by her–just thinking about that breaks my heart even more.  I’ll never be able to pet her again either.  I loved that bunny so much, and I was not ready for her to go, especially since I thought she was getting better.  I just keep thinking “why?’  Why did this have to happen to such a good bunny?  I’ve only had one close person pass away, and that pain I felt then is the same pain I feel now.  Misty was part of my family, and she and Daphny were the only pets that have been just mine.  I don’t know how I will ever move on.

It just feels like a cruel mistake that she has now been taken from me, right as we had been getting so close.  I’m still in shock that she’s gone, because everything happened so suddenly.  She was fine last night, and I only wish I had stayed to pet her for a little while longer before I put her back in the exercise pen for the night.  I wish this were a horrible dream that I could wake up from.  Misty meant so much to me and I loved her very much—I don’t know why she had to go.

Misty–my sweet little bunny; named after one of my favoite songs

Daphny & Misty, side by side
 

[RabbitPam]

I don’t know if it will help you to hear that I believe I know just how you feel. I had a very similar experience with my Spockie. After 7 years of good health, he lost the use of his back legs, was also unable to control his pee, needed pain meds daily and baths, assistance moving though he learned to scoot around and being held. He went to the vets last December and died in my arms as well.

I want to offer you condolences, but I also want to speak to some of your issues as you grieve. You did SO MUCH MORE than anyone could have hoped for for Misty. A shelter bunny has a limited prospect for life, and you took the two of them in, devoting all you could to their welfare to have the happiest, most comfortable life possible. You cannot heal a genetic, degenerative medical condition. No one can. It’s like trying to heal someone’s brown eyes. It just is who they are and what will be the course of their life. But what you can do, and did very, very well, is effect their quality of life while they live. What loving care you gave to Misty! It is understandable that you bonded more closely as you worked so hard to help her daily. I felt I was never closer to Spockie than in those last few months. And it takes up so much of your time and focus that losing Misty is like losing a job along with a loved one. The routines stop abruptly and your habits continue for a while.

But that’s all natural and part of grief. So is questioning yourself about what you might have done instead. It will really hurt now, but it will ease up in a little while. Just store away the knowledge that you did absolutely everything you could, and you gave this little angel a sweet life. As you are doing for her sister. Grief doesn’t understand the difference between a human, a family member, a friend, or a beloved animal. The feeling is the same. Be very gentle with yourself over the next couple of weeks.

Snuggle her sister. You will both find comfort from each other as time passes and you both understand she is gone. Daphny may eat a bit less or be lethargic. That’s her grief. But watch her to make sure she is eating and pooping. If she stops completely, let the vet check her too. Just spend more time together for now.
{{{{{{{{{{Hugs to you and Daphny}}}}}}}}}

[jerseygirl]

Forgive me MD for reposting here. Attempting to keep things contained to this thread rather than the one in Behaviour forum. Again, my deepest condolences.

MD, I am so, so sorry to hear this. Of course it will feel painful right now, these creatures our like our children in some ways. So dependant on us but with their own little strong personalities. You had such a rough trot here with Misty but as you say, nursing her was a bonding between you two. No one can take that away. Also, she had rallied some and you got to see some of her former self. Did they ever confim the E.C. infection?

Even though you and Daphny have to learn how to live without Misty, know she is now free of the illness and can move about and binky to her hearts delight. Rabbit can carriy bacteria or parasites all their lives and never show symptoms – yet some do lapse into illness due to this. They are so very fragile and we cannot prevent everything – just give them our love and best care.

When a bun passes at home, you can let the bonded bunny be with the passed bunny to say good bye. Since you were unable to do this, spend extra time with Daphny, she will learn of Mistys passing soon enough and she may grieve.

*Binky Free Misty* ((((Hugs to you and extra head rubs for Daphny))))

[Sarita]

Hugs to you. I’m so sad to hear about Misty.

[Miyuki]

Aww I’m so sorry! My condolences for your loss of Misty .

[LittlePuffyTail]

So sorry about the loss of your beautiful Misty.

[babybunsmum]

that is very sad…. i’m so sorry you lost misty. sounds like she had a spectacular life with you. ((((((hugs))))))

[MD]

I feel horrible because I thought I was doing enough for Misty, but I could have done more.  After the pain meds ran out, I didn’t buy anymore.  I really thought she was feeling okay—I didn’t think she was in pain because she acted like a normal happy bunny, with the exception of a limp.  When  started to see her lose her balance and roll over, I just thought it was because her left leg was weak and not behaving like it should.  I didn’t know that she might be progressing further.

I just crushes me that she might have been in pain and I didn’t do enough for her. Her appetite picked up too, and since she hated the Critical Care so much, I stopped giving it to her.  I gave her lots of timothy hay and I thought she was gaining weight.  Every time I tried to give her the Critical Care or anything with an oral syringe, I’d have to force her to take it.  She’d move her head around to try to avoid the syringe, and she made soft whimpering sounds when I tried to give her anything, and that just broke my heart. 

I just feel so horrible—I should have kept giving her the pain meds and more pellets and more hay and more greens because they might have helped her.  I didn’t know.  I didn’t give the bunnies greens as often as I should have.   I’ve been dealing with back spasm issues and it’s hard for me to do much out of the house and go to the store, but I should have tried harder.  Maybe she would have lived longer.  I’d try to feed her pellets from my hand so her sister wouldn’t see, and the fuzzy pieces on the timothy hay that she likes.  I had oat hay too, and I wish I had known that it was more fattening—I would have given her more.  I feel like I should have taken her to the vet sooner so I could find out she wasn’t gaining enough weight, and gotten more meds for her.  I just feel so guilty and so stupid and so horrible for not knowing, and not doing even more for her.  I thought she was getting better so I didn’t force her to take all those meds and Critical Care because she hated them so much, but maybe she’d still be here if I had done that. 

That’s why I feel like her going now is my fault.  I thought I was doing enough, but I should have done more.  When I got up to give the bunnies more hay yesterday, she seemed fine, but I should have paid more attention.  I went to take a nap later, and when I got up to take her to the vet, she was huddled up.  I should have been more attentive, I should have done more.  Even if I couldn’t cure her, I might have been able to help her live better and longer than she did.  I should have done more.
 

[jerseygirl]

Her death is not your fault. You can’t even be certain that the stroke was due to progression of an infection. She could have had a heart or other condition from birth that resulted in a stroke. You cannot know this. Pain meds would not have stopped a progression of infection either. From what you reported recently, she was doing better, eating, gaining weight, moving about. If she were in pain I doubt you would have witness these positive changes. You did the best you could for her. Please be kind to yourself and let this guilt go. It is so sad that she has gone after this battle but there are so many things that can take them. If we got our head around all those things and thought we could prevent them all, we’d be living in fear. All we can really do is provide a safe, loving home, feed a good diet to prevent GI issues and spend time with them. You did all this.

[Beka27]

It’s not your fault. It’s really not. As bunny slaves (or imperfect humans in general), we might not always make the right call at the right time, but it’s okay. You did what you could to protect her and care for her and most importantly, she knew your love and the companionship of Daphny. I am so sorry that she passed away. Please take comfort in Daphny and remember that it’s alright to feel sadness and to grieve. Hugs…

Binky free Misty!

[RabbitPam]

Hi, MD,
I got your message today. The message center is a bit new to me too, but I check it at least once a day so I hope by now you have received my reply.

Per your request, I have locked the “Rabbit going everywhere” post, and attached a link to this one for others to offer support here instead. I hope that helps a bit.

Let me say again what a difficult time you went through with Misty and you did everything anyone could on her behalf. We are all here to support you.
Hugs to you and Daphne,
RabbitPam

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