Male remaining still and not giving much away

[swill]

Hi there,

I’m looking for some advice on a scenario I’m in at the moment. I’ve done a lot of reading, and bonded bunnies before, but this situation is new to me so I’m wondering what thoughts are. For context:

Bonded Pair

Tea = Male, roughly 4, although a rescue with no prior history

Toast = Female, 4 years old

Solo Male

Porridge =  Male, again roughly 5, another rescue – Previously bonded to a female who unfortunately passed away last year

I am attempting to bring Porridge into the fold to make a trio, focusing first on bonding him with Toast individually (Tea is a rescue and is skittish, but around Toast is much more relaxed)

Spay/Neuter
All bunnies have been spayed/neutered (years ago)

Housing
Prior to the death of Porridge’s female, Tea and Toast were indoor, free-roam. Porridge and Honey had a large outdoor enclosure.

Since her passing, Porridge has been brought alongside a combination of Tea and Toast for the past 6-8 weeks, in separate pens in the most neutral room in the house.

Bonding background

There’s been around 6-8 weeks of pre-bonding with the bunnies side by side. First, I focused on Tea and Porridge (which resulted in some mutual grooming in a stress-induced environment). However, Tea is very skittish, which caused issues, so I switched tactics to try Porridge and Toast as she’s a lot calmer and Tea follows her lead.

Porridge and Toast have been side by side for a month or so, and for the past week, I’ve been doing sessions using my car (as Toast has ‘claimed’ every area of the house). The sessions have been anywhere from 10 minutes to 45. During these sessions, surprisingly, even though she’s the dominant female, she has been grooming Porridge a lot. However the issue is Porridge isn’t reciprocating at all and almost seems too scared to interact. He does eventually explore a bit but then goes back to his corner until Toast approaches him. In the last 5 or 6 sessions, the entire session has been indifference, followed by Toast grooming him.

The last couple of sessions, she’s started to try and nip his bum/belly and pulled a bit of fur out. I sense it’s probably from frustration at his lack of reciprocation to her grooming. He doesn’t bite back though and instead stomps and retreats to another area. He DID groom Tea during the very early bathtub sessions, so he does have it in him to groom back, but he immediately lowers his head when she’s within a few inches of him.

I’m wondering whether it’s just a case of persevering, letting the nipping ‘play out’ for a lot longer (but he doesn’t seem to be interested). If he showed any sign of approaching her/grooming etc, I’d feel better but it’s almost like he’s completely terrified of the entire ordeal, even when she spends 10 minutes licking his face and it’s always going to end up with a bit of a fight because of his lack of response. I then have to reset to make sure things end on a positive. It’s not easy for me to remain in the cramped car for long periods of time but aside from driving them to a relatives home, it’s about all I can do.

I can add plenty more context/follow up if you need any further info but it would be good to hear from anyone who had results from a similar situation where one bunny basically ‘plays dead’ the entire time!

Thanks in advance

 

 

[LBJ10]

If you think it’s a matter of not reciprocating grooming, then could you try the banana trick?

[BrunosMama]

Are you planning to eventually bond them into a trio, since it sounds like Tea and Toast are already a pair? (My apologies if I missed that somewhere).

I could be misunderstanding something, so please correct me if I’m wrong, but it sounds like when Porridge is putting his head down, he is “asking” for the grooms and Tea is giving them. So, at least in some cases, it sounds like he is interacting to some extent, but just not giving grooms back. I have had a couple of pairs where one bunny was basically the designated groomer and the mate really never groomed them back. I don’t remember that it ever caused too much strain on the bond in the long run, but from the outside as the bun parents, it was frustrating lol. But, I imagine it has to be agreeable to both buns and it sounds like it may not be with Tea and Porridge.

I have found that sometimes petting both buns at the same time can kind of stimulate mutual grooming, especially if they are sitting close together. It’s almost like they realize, hey! This feels good, let’s keep it going!

I have never bonded a trio before, but I wonder if once the three were together if perhaps Porridge would start grooming Tea back if he saw Toast do it?

BTW, I love the bun names! 😀

[Author]

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