lost my sweet Chestnut

[chessiesdad]

I’m totally new here. I’m posting to help ease the pain over the loss of my latest bunny, Chestnut. She was a sweet and sassy mini-rex who lit up my life for a while. I adopted her when she was 3 yrs., 9 mos. old from Rabbit Wranglers in Pittsburgh, PA. I found out quickly that she had stomach problems. I helped pull her through episodes of not eating and once of full blown stasis. It was hard, once a week of syringe feeding day and night for a week, but she was worth it. I loved her. This time nothing worked, despite the efforts of a great vet and some incredibly knowledgeable friends. She was absolutely normal Thursday night, then wouldn’t eat Friday morning. Then it was vet trip, then 2 AM visit to hospital, then collaborative care on Saturday with many helpers and the vet. Nothing worked. She passed Saturday night around 9 PM.

I wanted to  post a picture to show how beautiful she was.

I loved my Chessie with all my heart. She will be missed dearly and remembered forever.

  Even some of the best people that I know understand how you could get “so attached to a rabbit”. They don’t understand what they mean to us.We are their parents, their heroes, their protectors and they give us so much back.

 Thanks for letting me share my loss with people that understand.

 Goodbye little Chessie. I hope that we meet again.

 

[Doodler]

I am so sorry about your loss of Chestnut. What a pretty girl. It sounds like you did everything you possibly could.

[chessiesdad]

Thanks so much for your kind words. She didn’t like to sit in your lap or be held and she was skittish. But she was full of personality. She was sassy and acted like she owned the place.There was a time when she flopped on her side after eating, lifted her head up and looked around, then lay back down. It reminded me of nothing less than a queen surveying her kingdom. Her “happy dance” when she could hear me getting a treat for her just had to be seen!

I had nursed her through episodes of not eating before. That occurred regularly with her, even before I got her (she was 3 when I adopted her and was fostered by a local rabbit rescue organization that had taken care of her since she was a kit). She always pulled through. Even with a great vet and the help of some wonderful rabbit people, we couldn’t save her this time. We’re getting a PM done to try and find out why.

I’m in my 60’s and Chessie was my 3rd rabbit, but she stole my heart as they all do. This all happened just two days ago and her loss is very raw – I can’t even clean up her stuff yet (her hiding boxes, toys and all). The way that I’ve learned to cope is to give myself some time and then find another bunny who needs me and give her all the love that I have. In the meantime I will keep up my volunteer work at a local shelter and help other homeless rabbits find their forever home.

Thank you.

[chessiesdad]

I’ve been looking for this picture for hours. I took it the day that I brought her home (03/25/17). It’s the best picture that I have of her and I wanted to show how pretty my girl was. I loved being your dad. I did my best to care for you and give you a happy home. I hope that your days were happy ones. I hope that you will always have all the dandelion greens and cilantro that you could ever want. Goodbye my sweet girl. It won’t be the same without you.

[JLH]

I am very sorry for your loss, your post made me cry a little and I’m a tuff 58 year old man. I understand though about bunnies, I got my Dixie at 8 weeks old she is now a little over a year. she has complete freedom in my house 24 7, she only eats in her large cage which has the door removed. I got Dixie for my 8 year old grandaughter but we both decided after getting her that she is better off living in my home, (3 dogs live at her home). Dixie is my first bunny and she has shown me just how precious life and love is, I am a totally different person since I have her. I don’t even want to think about losing her, having her makes me realize how broken your heart is right now. Bunnies are just so wonderful, mine can be a brat sometimes but I know she loves me, she grooms my bald head every evening when I lay on the floor and comb her hair. You sound like a wonderful person and that you cared and loved your bun very much. take care of yourself and hope you get another bun soon.

[chessiesdad]

Thanks for your kind words, JLH. It helps to hear them.

It is tough right now. Having trouble sleeping and can’t really think very well at the moment. You do get through it eventually, but it’s never easy. I hope I find another bun soon. My PJ (2nd rabbit) was sick for about a year before she passed from pasteurella. I was taking her to the vet every two weeks, then every week, then every two days. Her appetite was good until the last day though – the day that I had to let her go. After she was gone, I was blaming myself and said, “That’s it. I’m done”. Three weeks later I adopted Chestnut. Everyone recovers in their own way and in their own time. I’ve found out that the best thing I can do is find another one that needs my love and then give it to them.

And your Dixie is adorable! I’m so glad you found each other. Bunnies add so much to our lives. It’s hard to explain, but I know that you understand.

Thanks for caring. It really helps ease the pain.

[Phil]

Beautiful bunny, very sad, I always get upset when I hear of yet another wonderful bunny passing, very sorry to hear this?

[chessiesdad]

Thank you Phil for your kind words.

Grief’s really hitting me today. I finally mustered up the courage to start cleaning up her stuff. It’s painful process and full of tears. The memories keep flooding back. She was only with me for a little under two years, but she only really began to trust me last July; she was always “standoff – ish” before that. After that, she couldn’t get enough pets and even let me hold her a time or two. I hope some day those memories will be sweet. I hope that I meet another little friend who needs me and puts her paw prints on my heart.

Thanks for understanding

[tobyluv]

I’m very sorry about the loss of your sweet but sassy Chestnut. She was beautiful. You gave her a wonderful home and great care. It sounds like you have a lot of love for rabbits, and the next rabbit you adopt will be a fortunate one.

[Phil]

I know just what you are feeling right now, its very tough time, when I lost Jasper a year ago, it was worst time of my life, we love our bunnies so much, I didn’t touch any of his food or belongings for weeks, only thing that helps is getting my new bunny Clover, it was hard decision to get him, but he now has a wonderfu life with me and all the love l can give him. Your a very loving person so you can when time is right give a new bunny a happy life too.

[chessiesdad]

tobyluv & Phil,

Phil, I will find a new bunny who needs me and tobyluv, I will do my best to give her/him a happy home. Thanks for the kind & encouraging words.

I got the post-mortem results back this evening. Chessie had an ulcer and it ruptured and was filling her stomach with blood. It wasn’t stasis as we originally thought. It was her long time vet that performed the PM. He said that there wasn’t anything that could have been done to save her. Said the ulcer was why she had chronic stomach problems and that I didn’t to anything that caused it or made it worse. I guess it was just her time.

[chessiesdad]

I’m writing this because I had to. Might just be me trying for closure, but I’m hoping that my thoughts make it to my girl somehow.

My Letter to Chestnut

I’ve been thinking about you a lot today. It’s been 3 days since you left and I found the strength to start cleaning up your stuff. Your water bowl had little strands of your fur in it, always a good reminder that it needed cleaned. Every toy, every box with chewed edges and half-shredded phone book brings back a memory. There are so, many, but I want you to know that there is one that will live especially bright with me always.

 You were so skittish when I brought you home. I didn’t understand it because your foster mom told me that you had been adopted once before but the lady returned you because you chased her cat! Maybe somehow you just knew that you were meant to be somewhere else. I remember that I couldn’t get you to be comfortable with me for a long time. It seemed that no matter what I tried you just weren’t buying any of it. I finally got an idea. I got out my sleeping bag and started sleeping on the floor close to where you liked to stay at night (close to your hay pile, of course). I guess it worked ’cause one day last July I was laying on the floor petting you. You were purring some and your eyes were closed. Suddenly you got up, flopped on your side and started snoring! (You usually snored but you never knew how cute it sounded). I knew that you wouldn’t have done that if you didn’t feel safe. It might have been my happiest moment with you.

In going through the memories, I was surprised at how many names I had given you. Chestnut, Chessie, Messy Chessie, Messnut, mini-bun were some. My favorite was “little nut”. I remember using them all too, depending on what you were doing that day and what kind of mood I was in.

I wish that you didn’t have to leave so soon, but that’s not my call. We weren’t even together two years, but it seemed like a lot more. I’m just glad that you weren’t in pain for very long and that I was able to hold you and keep you warm and pet you and kiss you on what turned out to be our last night together. I’m sure that your pain is all gone now and you can eat apples and bananas and all you’re favorite treats to your heart’s content.

Life goes on, but it will never be the same without you.I hope that you get to keep that piece of my heart that you took with you. I hope that it will always remind you that your dad loved you with all that he had. You will be part of me forever. I will always be “Chessie’s dad”. I will hope and dream that some day we will meet again in joy and love.

Goodbye little nut. Look for Pandora and PJ under the bridge. They’ll show you around.

 

 

[Doodler]

I hope having answers gives you some comfort. Granted it doesn’t change what happened, it’s still nice to have confirmation you did everything you could.

I myself lost a bunny last year and I still kick myself for not having a post mortem done because I’ll always wonder what I may have missed or what could have been done to possibly save him. It feels like closure will never happen. Please take comfort in having that closure and knowing it was your girls time. When you are ready I think giving another bun a great home is a great way to honor her memory.

[JLH]

The letter to Chestnut is beautiful, I believe she was a very lucky bunny to have been taken care of by you. may she rest in peace, she knew you loved her very much.

[Flakie]

I’m heartbroken for you. What a lovely letter to Chestnut. She was a lovely little bunny and from your story you did everything you could to save her.

Bunnies leave a huge hole in our lives when they go over the rainbow bridge. My Flakie died just over a year ago he was almost 10 and it still breaks my heart.

I decided to adopt two bunnies not long after Flakie passed (my other bun died the year before).

I’m sure you will know when you are ready to share your love with another bunny, you will just know. I saw a picture of Basil on the adoption page and I read his story and decided I needed to give him a loving home.

So sad for you Chestnut was so lucky to have you x

[chessiesdad]

Doodles, JLH and Flakie,

Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement. Support from people who have loved a rabbit is wonderful; I don’t need to explain anything. You all just “get it” and that helps; I don’t feel so lost.

One last thing that I want to mention. I didn’t know that rabbits could get ulcers. The vet that did the PM said that condition is what caused her chronic stomach problems. I’ve also found it mentioned a few times that other rabbits have regular bouts of minor (if there is such a thing) stasis where they had to be given motility drugs, syringe fed & etc. The vet is pretty widely considered one of the best rabbit vets around and mentioned that there were drugs that could have been tried to treat the ulcer. So, if anyone knows of a rabbit that stops eating fairly regularly (like Chestnut did), then maybe asking the vet about the possibility is a good idea. Maybe a rabbit or two somewhere will be helped by knowing this, so I wanted to mention it.

When I do get a new bunny to love I’ll post some pictures in a happier forum and share some good news.

[JLH]

chessiesdad, thank you for the info, I will talk with my bunnies doctor about this. I take Dixie in every 5 weeks for a nail trim by a tech and every 3 months for a complete checkup by her doctor as I only want the best for Dixie and I have never had a bunny, I did months of research before I got her but I’m no expert. Her doctor is an expert and she has bunnies of her own so I trust her to take care of my bun. I am lucky also as her office is 2 miles from my house. I still think about you and Chestnut a few times a day and have read your letter you wrote to her multiple times. what you are going through has really touched my heart and I feel so bad for you and wish you only the best in life from here on. I don’t know what it is about bunnies but mine has changed me so much over the year of having her that my wife has noticed. the love my bunny has shown me taught me how to love everything in life so much more. Please take care of yourself and may another bunny come into your life and share your kindness and love.

Your friend in this bunny world,
Jay

[chessiesdad]

Hi JLH,

Talked to the vet tech that assisted in the PM today; I’ve known her for years and she’s good. Asked her about how I could have recognized that Chessie had an ulcer, what would the symptoms be? She said that a lot of times there are none, but there is one that shows up occasionally. It is that their poops get dark, can be almost black even. I guess that this is similar to what a human would have if gastric bleeding was occurring.

Something else to note. If you feed your bunny a lot of greens that will darken her poop as well. 80/20 or greater ratio of hay / greens will keep their poops lighter in color. That might be one way to tell if something is different. If the poop color is darker than usual and the diet has not changed then it might be an indicator. I found out nothing that might help to identify an ulcer other than that. Still, if my bunny was consistently having stasis episodes I’d mention it to the vet.

Thanks for your concern and kindness. I’m glad that I may have helped somebunny out. I plan on getting another rabbit soon and I’ll post at least a picture or two (in a different forum).

I’ll say that I found the same thing that you did. Didn’t get “into” rabbits till I was in my early 50’s. I discovered just what you did – that they burrow into your heart and bring you love you would have not thought possible before you met them. Dixie is a lucky girl. She has a daddy that really cares about her Give her a hug for me.

— Frank

[JLH]

thanks for all the great info, my bunny has kind of dark poop, but she get’s 2 cups of greens per day, a 1/4 cup of pellets, a very small amount of carrots (her favorite) and she has a unlimited supply of hay at hay stations throughout my house. she is good about eating her hay, she eat’s it all the time except when she sleeps of course. i wake up sometimes at 2 in the morning and she will be sitting on my nightstand eating hay, she has a hay box on it as she kept pushing my things off the nightstand to let me know it’s her’s, so I no longer have anything of mine on it. I don’t need and alarm clock as she wakes me up every day at the same time for breakfast. I will be thinking of you and Chestnut, looking forward to pictures of your future bun. forgot to mention Dixie get’s a apple slice at 8 p.m. every night, she will run and sit in the kitchen right at 8 every night, I swear she has a clock under all her fur.
Jay

[chessiesdad]

Hey JLH,

Please don’t get too anxious because of what happened with Chessie. I just wanted to mention that an ulcer could be the cause of regular bouts of stasis. Chessie had them for almost her life – since before I had her. There was a definite pattern here. Unless the same kind of thing is happening with Dixie, I wouldn’t worry about it. I have no idea of how common or rare it is. If your baby Dixie isn’t having regular episodes of gastric problems then it doesn’t seem (to me anyway) like something to worry about.

I just wanted to pass on this information to those that had a bunny that was regularly experiencing these kind of problems. If a regular occurrence of gastric problems isn’t happening with Dixie, then I really wouldn’t worry about it.

That being said, you sound like me. Because of her health history, any change in her habits at all sent me off. Brother, if she isn’t actually showing symptoms / behavior (like not eating or lethargy) than don’t worry about it. Rabbits may be fragile but they are also tougher than we give them credit for (see the book “Bunny Boy and Me” by Nancy Laracy for an example of what I mean). Enjoy every minute that you spend with her, love her, feed her well, etc. and the chances are good that you guys will have a long, hoppy time together. She’s a beautiful rabbit, let her know it

— Frank

[JLH]

it’s all good, I know you were just providing good info for all of us. since I got Dixie at 8 weeks she has never had a poop problem (thank goodness) and she just loves to eat. I also give her the digestive tablets every other week and the urinary tablets, the greens make her pee strong and the urinary tablets make it all better. I get the tablets from Sherwood pet heath. and yes I spend lots of time with Dixie, so much time in fact that she turns her back to me every so often to let me know she’s done with me for a bit, (she’s a sassy little girl) I am retired for a few years now as I am dealing with cancer, but if I continue my treatments I will live a long time. Dixie has helped me mentally with my heath issue’s.
Jay

[chessiesdad]

I’m stunned. I’m 61 and a cancer survivor (pancreatic cancer – they caught it early and I’ve been in remission for 5-1/2 years). Remember my friend, that statistics fall apart when the sample size is one (you) and that nobody is born with an expiration date stamped on their forehead. I don’t know anything about what you’re going through, but you’ve got so much love to give that I think you’ll be OK. You’re attitude shows that. Besides that, Dixie needs you. My PJ (my bun before Chestnut) kept me going and was my comfort through the storm. I have faith that Dixie will be the same for you! You’re in my prayers my brother. I’m here anytime if you need me. You can contact me offline if you ever feel the need. E-mail: frank.bun60@gmail.com.

[JLH]

wow! that’s to bad, your cancer from what I know is way worse than mine. I just ended up with so many other issues with mine that it has stumped my doctors. I will email you after the weekend so I don’t tie up the forum, plus I think the rules might apply to the conversation.
Take care,
Jay

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