Hello! I am so grateful to this forum and to the people who share their stories and information. It has been a great source of support for us throughout this long and difficult bond.
We have been bonding our three for about 9 or 10 months. All are spayed and neutered. Luna and Mojo bonded within 2 weeks and their bond has not been shaken in the least throughout this long trio bond.We decided to bond all three at the same time, after doing some research, instead of bonding in pairs. (Incidentally, it was hard for us to find info on how to make this choice and what was recommended.)
In the beginning there was out and out fighting between Mojo and Rex. Luna was also aggressive toward Rex. So we started stressing them before any playtime. We used a pet stroller and took them all out together for a 20 or 30min walk before each bonding session. We went from the tub to the hallway to our second bedroom. There was still chasing but there was some snuggling too. We reached a point at about 6 months where finally Luna and Mojo both started to groom Rex. Yes, I cried hard. Each stage was taking so long, but I kept remembering how far we’d come already and how much simpler things were going to be once they were bonded. If they bonded.
But things didn’t change that much from then except that we did move them downstairs into Luna and Mojo’s territory. Rex would simply not groom either Mojo or Luna. He would happily be groomed for a long time, by both buns, and then when either one would present to him, he would hop away. Or he would hop away mid-grooming-receiving and Luna would often bite him then or Mojo would charge him and bite him. And then Luna got scratched in her eye and Rex roughly licked and chewed at her eye. She was shocked. I cried. Well, heck, it’d been 7 months! And we were now into the 2 or 2.5 hour bonding sessions twice a day. But there were only 2 or 3 times that he groomed her and it was only roughly. (He grooms me and my husband also.)
Downstairs in the home territory, we have their side-by-side condos. We started only letting them have their playtime together. We would open both doors to their cages and they would be out together, in Luna & Mojo’s territory, twice a day for 2 or 3 hours each. Luna and Mojo both started chasing Rex. They would relax and snuggle together too, but there would still be chasing and biting and Rex would lose fur. (Rex has never bitten back or chased them. Only in the very beginning did Rex and Mojo fight hard with each other. Rex has been struggling with sore hocks, on all 4 feet, since we brought him home from the shelter. All of the dashing and running away has certainly slowed the healing.)
We initially let them go in to each other’s cages during this playtime, monitoring very carefully, but it seemed to escalate the emotions of all 3 buns. So we decided not to let them go into each other’s cages during their out playtime together. This meant when Rex got too stressed from the running (and all the new territory), he could retreat to his cage and we made sure that Luna and Mojo respected his space. We did the same for them when Rex wanted to go into their cage. But Rex started hanging back more in his cage rather than playing. It became obvious he was afraid. (I know it should have been obvious to me all of this time and I feel terribly guilty for pushing our human agenda on them, but we couldn’t see a way to be a 2 Warren family and we are totally in love with Rex. So…?)
I headed back to the forums for advice. I read about pair bonding and repairing bonds. I did a bonding session with Luna and Rex and then one with Mojo and Rex. It went terribly. Rex just jumped around when either of them moved and then they would chase and bite him. As soon as I got into the pen with them, they both (both pairs) settled right down and started snuggling. A-ha! I realized that I was too intimately part of the bonding. I had kept them from working it *out by being too doting? Yes? So we had fooled ourselves at what point in the bonding process they actually were and perhaps had moved them ahead prematurely. Those two pair bonding sessions were major eye openers for us. They weren’t really that bonded at all. Yup, more crying. This was about a week ago. We stopped the bonding, hopefully just a pause, but really started to consider other options. Like two pairs!
So thankfully they had been all moved to the living room and were sharing space (where their cages all are), so we let them start having separate out time. There were certainly some grunts and dashing at the cage edges when one or the other went by on the outside, but overall it’s been pretty good and both my husband and I have been grateful for the break. Deeply grateful. Rex has been exploring the space more bravely and his feet are getting better without the constant dash-away.
I do so appreciate being able to post this and to be able to ask for some help. We are wondering what we should do. Perhaps all hope is not lost but we just experienced a crisis of patience/faith? We should do some repairing of the bonds and bond Rex to Luna and Rex to Mojo separately? And if so, what is a good way to go about that? Stress first and then let them be in the neutral x-pen without me?
I think I just got so worried that I was forcing my agenda on them and that it was so effortful how could it be right? You see, when we were choosing Luna’s companion from the shelter, we were choosing between Rex and Mojo. We chose Mojo, brought him home and they bonded quickly. But I couldn’t leave Rex at the shelter. He has such a sweet disposition and his feet were in such rough shape. For some bunnies it seems that the shelter life is just harder on them. So two months later, we brought Rex home too. And here we are a year later.
Thank you so much in advance for your support. My husband and I are patient people and we love our buns, but when do we call it quits on the bonding?
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