life changes = upset Hareiette

[Gravehearted]

My husband and I split up two weeks ago, which has been hard.   I am coping ok and trying to take care of myself and the bunnies. Pandora and Viktor don’t seem to be acting much different.  Hareiette, however, is *extremely* sensitive and has been very upset.  We have a baby gate that leads into the bedrooms.  He spent most of his time in the bedroom on the computer.  In the past 2 weeks (since he left) Hareiette has been aggressively tugging on the gate.  Last night I had her out – she tugs on the gate, then runs over to me – takes a serious nibble out of my sandals and then runs back over to the gate!  She also chewed on my purse strap when she hopped onto the couch.  I am guessing she is trying to tell me to go get him or let him come home or somthing.

she was listless and bummed out the first 2 days – but has continued to eat well fortunately.  She’s also been chomping the carpet more too.  I have been trying to give her lots of reassuring pets and love.  I have tried to explain to her the situation, but she just doesn’t get it.  There’s not a vision in her world where her parents aren’t together.  I just feel really sad since i know she’s really hurting too. I am sure my emotional state hasn’t helped her either.  I’ve also been out more in the evenings since I am trying to add more structure and activities in my life. He was home all day and I’m out for 11 hour days at work. I guess i could leave music on for her maybe.  I should also start giving her rescue remedy again i guess – we both could benefit from it, i think.

[JK]

I am so sorry to hear about your breakup. That must be really hard. I’m sure the buns sense he’s gone. Leaving music on is a good idea. Take care of yourself and hang tough!!!

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

I’m so sorry to hear that gravehearted!! *HUGS* It’s heartbreaking to watch an animals reaction to a loss (my dogs attempts to find my grandmother after she passed were very hard to watch). I’m sure she’ll settle soon, she must be very intelligent and sensitive! Getting out and adding activities should really help you. Try leaving the radio on for her, for sure. Mine have the radio on and seem to enjoy it. I just put it on low so they can sleep with it on, but not be bored and/or feel as though they have company. Maybe let her in the bedroom for a few minutes to hop around and check things out? I’m sure she’ll settle and feel better as soon as she gets back into a routine. Things happen for the best and I know this will end up well in the end. *HUGS* I’m sorry to hear that your hurting.

[Floppy]

sorry to hear that gravehearted…things will be good again in no time!
Keep your spirits up! : D

[Bunstheboss]

I’m sorry gravehearted! This will pass soon. Cheer up!!

[Sarita]

Huge hugs to you Gravehearted.

I’m sure she senses something. I would definitely try the Rescue Remedy – you could probably benefit from this right now as well.

[Lion_Lop_Lover]

(((hugs)) gravehearted; I am so sorry…

[MimzMum]

I’m so sorry gravehearted. Yes, our furbabies act just like human babies when big changes hit. Anytime there has been a change in our lives, all the animals react, and it takes them a bit to settle down.
I do not quite know what’s going to happen when my son leaves for his college dorm this fall. Our cat, Myuu, will definitely miss him and she just lost her best companion cat last year also, I am going to have to give her special attention.
This is obviously also a hard time for you. Take good care of yourself as well so that you can help Hareiette. You have all the hugs and noserubs you can handle from me and my lot!

[Scarlet_Rose]

Oh hun, so sorry ((((HUGS)))). Bonsai and Daffodil are much the same way. They actually chill with classical music or native american music, I think you both might benefit from the Rescue Remedy and also FYI they also make a Rescue Sleep remedy that works really well at night time (for humans) if you are like me when you are stressed and have repetitive thoughts and you can’t get yourself to stop.

I think you are right it is just hard for her to understand but she will come around. Just try to be patient with her. If there is anything I can do, please let me know.

[Beka27]

i’m so sorry gravehearted! just keep doing what you’re doing, give her plenty of attention. ((((((big hugs!))))))

[osprey]

Ach, GH, this makes me so sad.  My thoughts are with you and the divine Miss Hareiette.

[Hannah]

I’m so sorry, Gravehearted. Changes liek this are never fun or easy, for humans or for animals. Do you know if there’s any way you could leave the TV on for her, perhaps? I know Monty likes watching television, and Humphrey likes to chill out and watch me play video games. I would also test out the kind of music you’re planning on putting on while you’re still home; I discovered while listening to samples for my World Music class this semester that Humphrey really, *really* hates African drum music. Good luck keeping your girl busy. n__n

[Preston Cooper]

I am very sorry to hear this.
She may have felt a bond with your husband and is now mourning his loss. In her world, she may not know he is still ok, only gone.
I find it so hard to watch and handle the sadness and pain animals experience. Perhaps if she saw him again, it would relieve her of some of this stress? Not that that’s the best solution for you…
I am sending best and healing wishes to you both.
Regards, MC

[babybunsmum]

((((((gravehearted))))))  i’m so sorry to hear of your breakup.  even though it must be incredibly tough, i know in my heart that things will get slowly better for you & hareiette.  it’s great that you’re taking care of yourself & working to add structure into your life… hareiette will benefit a lot from this too and eventually find comfort in her new routine.  thank goodness pandora & viktor are going with the flow already.  i think trying the rescue remedy is a great idea for both of you.  (((hugs)))

[kimberleyanddarren]

((((hugs)))) i am sorry to hear you have split up with your husband, i know how things like this can make everything seem so drab and can affect everyone around us people and animals alike, i think she will get used to it as long as you are being positive and not moping around she should get used to it, dont worry just stay strong!

[Deleted User]

Gravehearted, I am so sorry to hear of your breakup. Hard enough for you to accept and work through, but to watch your babies (fur or otherwise) not dealing or understanding is an added burden.

It will get better both for you and Harriette. Animals are nothing else, survivors. They may let you think you are caring for them, but they know that they are helping you more.

I think there has been quite a number of us on this site that have gone through this and come out on the other side, stronger and improved. It will happen for you. ((((((( BIG HUGS )))))) for you and the buns.

[Lisa_43]

I am also so sorry GH, life sucks sometimes. Big hugs from me to you and the bunnies.

[MarkBun]

A radio or television does help to keep the buns ‘company’. You could also think about getting yer bun a partner. My hectic schedule and long hours is what had me finally decide upon getting a pal for Maryann. Now, I don’t feel nearly as guilty when I have to leave them alone for a while.

[Gravehearted]

thanks everyone for all the love and supportive comments and suggestions. I’m sorry I haven’t been around much, life’s been kinda surreal lately. One of my Haven friends recommended putting one of his shirts in her house, she’s been sleeping on it.

My awesome roomate just entirely moved around all the furniture in the living room – it looks SO much better and bigger. The bunnies are all super excited, even Hareiette has been RACING around and doing binkies, which is most unlike the regal princess. She also has been LOOOOVING lots of pets too. I think she’s doing much better.

[rabbitsmba]

I was also going to suggest a sweater or t-shirt of his for her to curl up with. Over time his scent will dissipate and slowly hopefully her sadness will too. Perhaps a new friend for her is in order?

Sorry to hear about your break-up. Take care of yourself and let your bunnies give you comfort as well. Good luck!

[Sage Cat]

There is nothing easy about a break up. Sorry y’all are having to go through it.

I also find it so hard to watch and handle the sadness and pain animals experience. Yet I am also amazed by the connections they have with us.

I glad Hareiette is beginning to do better. Lots of love to y’all.

[babybunsmum]

it’s so nice that you have some happy things to tell gravehearted!  i’m sure there will be things that feel surreal for a while yet but here’s hoping that they come even fewer and farther between.  i’m very happy that hareiette is racing around!  thats great

[Liza]

I just joined the forum, I don’t know you, but I wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you have split up.
I’m glad though that Harriette is doing better now! I was going to suggest rearranging furniture/your space so that there are new things to explore, maybe even new scents to pick up here and there…
Life will settle down again one day. Everything will be all right. I am sending you happy thoughts and kisses to your bunnies!

[RabbitPam]

GH,
I’ve been off the site while moving so am only now reading this for the first time.
So very sorry you are going through this tough time. I’m glad someone suggested about giving Harriette his shirt. Also, the redecorating will be a relief for both of you. ((((((((((((((Hugs to you and Harriette))))))))))))))))

[skunklionshow]

I agree w/ Bunzai, it’s always harder when your pets go through the pain you feel.  When I had separated w/ the ex-husband, my mom came out to visit and we completely redecorated and repainted my whole apt.  It made me feel so much better!  The cats definately had similar issues getting over him leaving.  So I hear & understand everything your saying.  I’m so sorry for this loss.  Any break-up is a loss & animals & people go through the stages of grief even when it’s something for the best.  All my thoughts are w/ you all during this time.  If you need anything, please let all of us know.

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