Letting Go :,( The story of Beans

[Crashley]

This is not about either of my bunnies. It is however about my dog Beans. She is a 17 year old Pomeranian. I have had her more then half of my life. I was 5 yrs old when we got Beans and I am now 23 yrs old!! She’s a Wizard!! It so hard for me to sit here and type this without balling my eyes out, but i am anyways. Beans has been my best friend since then. She has always been there. She’s been through everything with me. Every event in my life..Beans has been there for. Its hard for me to make this decision. I have found an At-Home Vet to come put my poor girl to sleep. I have decided to do this because I do not want her last thought to be her scared cause shes going to a random vet. It will be done in the comfort of her own home, in my arms. So, she wont be scared or in discomfort. 

A little story on Beans.

She was born in a bathtub in the year 2000. Her parents were to stark white fuzzy pomeranians. Beans was the runt of the litter and also she is the only brindle colored Pom in the litter. Her brothers and sisters were all white. So, we took her instead. She was just a little fuzz ball and I was only 5 yrs old. Beans LOVED chasing cars(such a dangerous hobby) lol but she was frisky. One day Beans chased the wrong car and she got caught in the tire. I thought that was it and I remember just going balistic. Beans survived but she broke multiple ribs, her tail and her right hip. It didnt stop her from being a fuzzy frizky gal though. My enitre family are musicians and Beans is one of them!! She loves singing. I started playing acoustic guitar when i was 13 yrs old. and beans would sit with me all night long and sing with me. If a christmas movie comes on the tv and there is christmas charolers, Beans will sing with them!! Like she will hit high notes AND low notes with them. Beans still sings..but its very raspy and fragile. Beans was there for every milestone of my life. The bestest friend anyone could ever have. She loves car rides and vanilla icecream. I could go on and on with stories and memories. But for now and I cant even handle typing this. Bean’s can barely breathe now(sounds like there’s fluid in her lungs). She only uses 3 of legs as she has severe severe arthiritis. She has a tumor on her chest. The vets will do nothing cause of her age. Im realizing its selfish of me to keep her alive to only live in pain. Beans has truly had a very long, happy and healthy life. She has not crossed the rainbow bridge yet. Her appt is on august 18th at 6 pm(nothing like a time stamp, its heart breaking) and i can hardly handle this. Making her appointment today ruined me. Here are some pictures of Beans, these are her most recent photos.

Here is Beans and I during Christmas <3 &nbsp;I think my post is to long to put the other photos. I will reply to this one with photos</p>

[Crashley]

That is my portrait of Beans on my arm, thanks to a Wonderfully talented man!

[Crashley]

[Bam]

What a beautiful little girl!

And what a wonderful, wonderful life she got with you! I know it’s so hard to make this decision, I had to make it for my bridge dog Nala. It tears your heart to shreds. It is the very worst part of being a pet owner, and there is no escaping the grief. It just has to have its time.

Beans sounds like the best companion a person could have, and a true privilege to get to grow up together with.

[pinknfwuffy]

I’m so sorry to hear about your situation and Bean’s health. You clearly had a special bond and she knows how amazing every single one of those seventeen years was living with such a loving family. You watched each other grow up and, while it is never easy to say goodbye, at least you are doing it to give her peace. She will be free of any pain or suffering. How lucky Beans has been to live such a long, happy, harmonic life.

[Crashley]

Thankyou, she is really good girl. It;s truly tearing me apart. I keep thinking maybe its not time. though I know that its obviously time. Its he hardest decision to make.

[Danielle]

I’m so sorry about Beans…. That is so heartbreaking. Good for you for doing what’s best for her even though it kills you inside. I would be just as heartbroken. I’m sure she knows how much you love her and will be with her…. I’m so so sorry! Losing a pet is so hard

[Vienna Blue in France]

Oh Crashley, it’s so hard but the next 17 days…!!
I couldn’t do it. When I made the decision for my bridge dog and cat, I thought about it for about a week but when the final decision was made I went in to the vets the following morning!!! I didn’t sleep that night. No waaaay could I have done what you are doing.

(((( Beans )))) for a peaceful last journey.

[Crashley]

Thanks for your kind words. This is one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make. I wonder sometimes if she knows… which breaks me even more. Waiting for the 18th is really really hard. But i cannot take her the vet. I feel she would really know something was up and I couldnt do that to her. I dont want her last thoughts to be scared thoughts cause she’s at the vet. Im letting her enjoy these beautiful days here in Ohio and letting her feel the beautiful breeze. She loves to wobble about in the fresh grass.
Best Girl Ever!

[Vienna Blue in France]

Well, she feeds off your emotions, so although she wont know why, she knows that you are very sad at this time.

Oh yes, let her wobble and totter and sniff to her heart’s content, dear Beans.

[Crashley]

I had to move Bean’s appt up to August the 11th instead of August 18th. I cannot let her go two whole weeks in the condition she is in :,( It is this Friday and I just feel so empty. I feel I am losing more then half of my own life. Beans was there for every disaster my family went through. She was there everytime I cried. Every mornign Id get up she would get up  with me and stretch. I love her dearly and I just dont know how to go about this. Here are some pics from this weekend..

[Crashley]

My Fiance and Beans

[Crashley]

My Lovely Beans

[Melon]

beans is beautiful! and so is the tattoo!

[Crashley]

Thankyou so much Melon! that means alot

[Bam]

The tattoo is amazing. And what a pretty girl she is! Vienna is right, she does read you so well, she knows you’re sad. She probably knows you better than you know yourself, there’s no way you can hide your emotions from her.

It is so sad they can’t be with us longer. But you have filled her whole life with love and companionship, every minute of it, and that’s so wonderful.

[Author]

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