
Dearest Horchata,
You left so suddenly and I don’t know how to be okay without you. I sit and stare at all the places you loved to sit and hide. I imagine I see you bounding across the way and I blink and you’re not there. It’s not okay without you today. I really just wanted to say so many things to you and I didn’t realize I wouldn’t get the chance. So here goes…
I am sorry, so sorry. I hope you didn’t feel like you were alone when you left. I hope you weren’t in pain. I hope you knew how much I loved you. I hope you understand that if I did something wrong, that I didn’t mean it. I only wanted the best for you. I don’t know what happened. I just know that there is a huge hole in my heart longing for you. I wish I could have held you while you breathed your last breath so you would know that you weren’t alone. I am so sorry. For everytime you thumped at me or kicked up your feet-I’m sorry I annoyed you. For the times you hated taking all those meds and those horrid shots–sorry! I really only had your best interests in mind and I hope you know that I just wanted to make you feel better.
I will try. I will try and remember you the way you were before you became ill. I will remember the way you proudly bounced around all over the place like you were the king of the house. I will try and remember how you used to snuggle in my arms. And I will try and remember the good times, all the games and treats we shared.
Now you are resting, asleep in your garden. I miss you. Please be at peace, know that I love you and will never forget you.
Love,
Mom