Kind of a Bonding Journal

[BeanMode]

Hey all, just looking for some reassurance that things will get moving and that we’re not totally stuck in our bonding situation like it feels we are/slash getting my ideas and things down somewhere to people who might be able to offer an outsider opinion.  
It’s about the end of month 3 trying to bond our two rabbits. Both are altered, male/female pair around the same age. About one month of that was settling in / purely pre-bonding ( we moved just prior to adopting rabbit #2 so both needed time to settle in- good thing is this means pretty much all areas are neutral&nbsp with side by side cages, swapping, etc.

In the two months of bonding we’ve learned that 1) bigger spaces are better for them, they tend to trap each other in smaller spaces and got frustrated with that 2) having both mom and dad in with them is currently a necessity if we use a big space- they’re more distracted by human having to move around and it’s easier just to plop one at either far corner to play referee if needed 3) they seem pretty happy together- they share hay from within a foot away of each other, mirror groom themselves, and in their own cages love to lay side by side. they binky around the space together and it’s heart meltingly cute. our female absolutely dotes on and is head over heels for the male. she’s forgiven him so quick for little nips and so far she’s been the one to groom him.

our biggest issue, and we’ve seemed to be at a standstill for awhile at this point, is they’re not quite sure who is in charge yet. Our male plays dominant, first to demand grooms, he’s shown mounting behavior (this has tapered off significantly), and then it seems like he doesn’t know when to stop or how to be comfortable in charge. She submits, she grooms, she loves on him, but he doesn’t ever seem to relax and accept victory. he gets pushy and she’ll keep telling him no with thumps and such, usually we try to split them and give her a small break before it turns to nipping. Sometimes it even seems like he’s wavered in his confidence enough that she tries to be in charge but ends up giving back in to him anyways. So it’s kind of been going around in a circle for awhile now. Dates aren’t going bad but they’ve been a lot of the same lately.

[Nutmeg]

Hey!
I’m just going through my own bonding – Both wanted to be dominant with mounting issues, but thankfully no fighting (just chasing) – but it sounds like your girl is the submissive one – so that’s half the battle!

Others on here are better at this than I am – as I just have my own one experience to draw on – but what I’m sure will be asked is:

1. How long are the sessions?
– I found I made the biggest progress once I started doing 4 hour or longer sessions and then even more progress with 8 hours or longer on the weekends to build up to the over nights.
It was like Rupert finally started to except Penny as the Alpha and Penny didn’t feel she had to remind him of that as much. It also helped with her not feeling like she had to re-assert herself once they have been apart while I was at work as much.

If she is thumping to warn him off, what I would do before you separate them is try to end on a good note. I would either squish them together and pet them both until they start to relax OR feed them veggies or a bit of pellets or a treat and then end on that good note.

Also, if you aren’t already, I found making sure to keep swapping their cages when I put them back helped a lot too.

[BeanMode]

Our sessions are averaging around an hour. We’ve gone upwards of two hours a few times- and some weekdays only had time for shorter 30 minute dates. I’ll give lengthening the time even more a shot. I had hopes to see more progress in the hourish long ones before lengthening the time but I hadn’t even considered that he might be feeling the need to continually reassert himself because of that.

And yep, we’re still switching things up cage wise. They’re both so unfazed by swapping anymore, which I’m very encouraged by if nothing else.

[Nutmeg]

Yes, being unfazed with the swapping is great.

I would truly try longer sessions at this point. That was when I finally started to see mutual grooming and snuggling – I started off during the day on the weekend when they were a bit more “Sleepy” so that the could associate each other with being able to relax and be mellow.

[Author]

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