Just need some advice, feel so guilty

[LittlePuffyTail]

 

 

 So the situation is I would really love to bond Olivia and Bindi. It would make my life so much easier and they would be able to be free roam. I find myself overwhelmed with guilt that they can’t be free roam and also that I know that Bindi would really love a buddy. My schedule right now totally revolves around the rabbits. I’ve become super anal about my schedule because if I miss there out-time, I feel horribly guilty that they are alone in their condos.

The way things are right now is they are both in side by side condos in the rabbit room. They come out 1 at a time in the morning for about an hour and after supper for about an hour. I feel like this is not enough time with me and it’s totally eating me up. I thought about having Olivia in the living room and Bindi in the bedroom/kitchen for part of the day and I tried it a couple of weeks ago but Bindi got all upset when I wasn’t with him and ended up jumping the board I was using to divide the living room and kitchen. Thankfully, Olivia wasn’t near or there would have been a fight. If I use the x-pen, Olivia is so aggressive she will bite him through the bars.

So, as you can see, bonding them would relieve a lot of stress and guilt and allow me to have a normal social life and not be so obsessed about my buns’ schedule.

 

The BIG hurdle with that is Olivia is super aggressive, territorial and stressed out. When I had 3 buns and I tried to see who the best pair would be Olivia tried to attack Bindi when I just sat them together. So I worked on bonding Bindi and Stormy. Now that Stormy is gone, I would really like to pair these two up. I feel it’s futile though.

 

 A few weeks ago, I did several nights of having them just sitting on the kitchen chair for like 5 minutes and I needed to keep my hand on Olivia the whole time so she wouldn’t bite Bindi. The poor guy, he just wanted to snuggle her. She is just so stressed out and untrusting. I know that if he humped her, as he did quite a bit with Stormy, she would freak and attack him. I worry about him getting hurt because he’s so sweet and she’s just a total stressball. I also worry about the bonding causing her so much stress she will get ill.

Getting a third rabbit is not an option financially at this time. And even if I got a new bun and bonded Bindi, I would still be in this situation of no free roam.

 

Does anyone have any advice for me? I really need things to change because I just can’t deal with this stress anymore. And I know that Bindi would love to be free roam as well. He loves to just sit on the bed for hours. I want more for my rabbits and myself.

[Amys Animals]

Have you thought about stress bonding? Rascal and Marley aren’t as aggressive as you describe Olivia to be with Bindi but I am doing a little bit of stress bonding with them. You may have to be more aggressive with it though. I’m no pro, as you know, but I think they can be bonded. Just work hard with them and don’t give up! I know what you mean about having them not be able to have them free roam. I have a portion of the house where the bunnies can go but right now since they are not bonded they have to go out at separate times. I hope you can find a solution. Good luck!!

[RabbitPam]

Well, I’m the least experienced, but my first thought was about Beka’s super washer/dryer bonding technique. I am wondering if you could try these steps:
1. Put each of them in a separate small laundry basket and let them be side by side on top of a vibrating dryer. See if they gravitate toward each other.
If that works out ok for a short time, then try putting them into one together for an even shorter time. Maybe keep a hand hovering above each of them and be ready to separate.

It seemed to work really well, and fast, for Beka’s two. Perhaps the place that bonded Maryanne and Dono (Markus’ two) would be able to give you advice on particularly difficult bonds. The did wonders with those two after months of trying, once they had them alone there for a week.

[tanlover14]

I think you should try some “aggressive” stress bonding with them – by aggressive I mean, putting them through something REALLY stressful. Laundry basket, vacuum going, shaking the laundry basket when they relax too much, dragging the laundry basket around with them in it to make a lot of noise. Or doing this with a box. Tanger was out for DEATH with Simba when they were introduced. Hardcore stress-bonding seemed to give him a little encouragement towards bonding with the Simber Bun. I know it’s hard on the conscience to stress out the easygoing bunny too but it seemed to work for me. I would try it.

[Sarita]

My best advice – quit feeling guilty – really :~)

[Beka27]

I agree that you should stop feeling guilty… and I also think that those two are bondable. Meadow was a holy terror to Max when I started bonding, and three weeks later, they were inseparable. Definitely try stressing techniques first, then move to “neutral-ish” territory. Try for as long as you can each day. And at some point soon, you’re going to have the bonding sessions as their only exercise time. Either they’re together and out, or they are confined.

This is very mental.  I’ve found that the people who have the hardest time with bonding are the ones who are tip-toeing through it, hesitant to “ruffle any fur”.  Just do it.  Make the commitment and get it done.  If something isn’t working, approach from a different angle, but starting today, have a bonding session daily without fail.

[LittlePuffyTail]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I think I will give it a really good go and if it turns out to be impossible, at least I will know I gave it my best shot.

It is really hard on the conscience with the stress bonding. Poor Olivia is just a bundle of nerves as it is.

Have a really busy day today but I will do some stressing tomorrow and see how it goes.

[Malp_15]

Maybe being a bundle of nerves with help in this case. While stress bonding, if she does get worked up and she can’t have you as a crutch, hopefully she will cling to Bindi as her comfort.

My two were an easy bond, but Nate is very much like Bindi and Tait is very nervous and flighty (not as bad as Olivia) and having the calm presence of Nate really helped Tait… once he realised that Nate wasn’t an evil monster Now because Nate doesn’t freak out, Tait is starting to realise that everything new is not necessarily bad.

[BinkyBunny]

Two tools that really helped me during first introductions was wearing a pair of gloves (make sure you pet them with them to get their scent on it). That way I could pet and calm the bunnies but if one started to bite, I didn’t have to worry about getting bit, AND there was no real reaction since I was less nervous too at the moment of any bite. I didn’t have to use that so much with Jack and Vivian as they didn’t bite each other, But with my other bonds I did. 

The other tool, I learned from SaveAbunny. They use netted strainers which allows bunnies to be introduced to each other, but it can prevent any bites right away. It was also used to separate them if they were getting more and more aggressive. 

I know that it is very stressful and I had to make a conscious effort to settle myself down (as the bonding process makes me very anxious) and I am sure that didn’t help much. Sometimes I would have Steve help me with bonding just so I could settle the hell down, LOL, and though nips and fights could still break out, his calm personality/character definitely seemed to keep them calmer too. 

Car rides are what really seemed to help the most as far as stress bonding for us.

And then if after a good go, it doesn’t work out, no worries.  You take wonderful care of them, and I am sure they are very happy.

[Stickerbunny]

Sometimes stress bonding is needed, even if one bun is a bundle of nerves. I put mine on top of the washing machine to start, otherwise all Powder would do is hump and all Stickers would do is cry about the humping, which would make Powder bite her. And don’t feel bad about having to hold them / pet them to keep them calm either, I still have to do that sometimes and mine are bonded… but when things get tense petting them both or putting a little pressure on them to stop whatever squabble calms things down. Once mine got past the initial “I hate you” phase, it took a week total to bond them… and that phase only lasted a few days. But even if yours are a bit more stubborn, it just takes time for them to get used to each other.

And really do try to be calm. They will both pick up on YOUR emotions and it can cause them more stress during the bonding if you are tense and worried.

[Elrohwen]

I would take them for a nice long car ride and see how it goes.

And if it doesn’t go well, I’m with Sarita that you should just stop feeling guilty 🙂 I feel bad that mine don’t get very much of my time now that we have a dog, but they live an awesome life. Yours also have a fantastic life, so you don’t need to feel bad about anything.

[tanlover14]

I agree. Whatever you decide – DON’T FEEL GUILTY. You give your furbabies great lives, Steph!

[Monkeybun]

The Petzy Cube helped me out with bonding too, doesn’t allow much room for squabbles, so could help Olivia

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