Is pre-stress-bonding a thing?

[Deleted User]

As you may know, I have a bit of a high maintenance female on my hands. She gets very offended easily and will act out if she doesn’t get her salad/pets as expected  Quincy is bothered by nothing. Literally nothing- you can vacuum right up to his face and he will stay laying down

I’m going to be bonding in a few weeks, and I’m at a bit of a crossroads of what way to do the bonding, since I have two buns with dramatically different personalities. Hopefully the ole “opposites attract” will come into play here and they will get along…

They have been prebonding for about a month and a half at this point, and we have gotten to a point that she no longer freaks out when she comes back to her space and everything smells like him. They see each other but seem indifferent to what the other is doing. They both lay NEAR the gate barrier, but as far as from what I have seen, there’s been no flopping next to the gate together. I’ve been a little worried that they still don’t seem to want to be together.

I have two cat carrier crates. I am wondering if this would help give them a little “push” to want to have a relationship: I put each bun in a carrier, then set them in the car with the doors closed but pressed right up against one another and go for a drive. I have no idea if this would do anything, just an idea I had and I’m wondering if experienced bonders have any input on trying this to help them foster an interest in each other.

[DanaNM]

So, I’m not sure if it is a thing that helps, but I did this with Bertha and Moose when we would drive to the rescue for their first 3-4 sessions (the rescue offered their exercise pens for bonding since my apartment is small and I wanted a BIG, stressful location). I didn’t have a helper to drive with me, and it was early on in the process, so I didn’t feel comfortable putting them in the same carrier.

So yeah, no idea if it helped or not… and it was more out of necessity. Once I was confident they wouldn’t fight in the carrier (after they were up to long sessions without scuffling), I would take them in the same carrier, and I did notice a big improvement after that! After their first car ride in the same carrier they finally flopped near each other, noses touching, which was a big milestone. I think the act of physically snuggling together while they are stressed out is the key.

Mine have also never flopped near the fence during pre-bonding, or groomed through the fence or anything like that, they’ve just become chill with each other, so it sounds like you’ve made good progress.

Where are you planning to do sessions? If at all possible, for the first couple dates, it would be great if you could use a friend’s house or something completely foreign.

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

[Deleted User]

In about three weeks or so. By then, he will be 1 month post neuter and she will be about 3 1/2 months post spay, and prebonding will have been going on for roughly 2 1/2 months. I actually do have a friend who is just two apartments down from me, maybe I could use her bedroom.

My thing right now is that I just don’t know what to do about her. When she is down in the carrier when I am switching them out, sometimes they nose boop and it’s fine, other times I’ve heard her grunt at him. The carrier door has small grids but they are big enough to slightly nose boop through. To feed my own curiosity about how much we truly have progressed, I will leave her in the crate for just a few minutes to see what happens (she can’t hurt him through the carrier door). Sometimes they nose boop and that’s it, other times she grunts a little.

[Mikey]

Consider getting a carrier for each of them, then set them in front of one another grids facing one another so they can see and smell. You could, on occasion, lightly shake both crates at the same time.

[sarahthegemini]

I don’t know whether this will make you more confident but I thought I’d let you know, when my two were seperated, there was a 4ish inch gap between them. Occasionally, okay several times a day I would fall against the partitions whilst navigating around the living room and so quite often they were able to touch one another. Peanut was quite nippy! He nipped Buttercup quite a few times but then one time (actually the last time before we introduced them) he groomed her through the bars. So yeah, I wouldn’t be concerned just yet

[Deleted User]

Mikey- I’ll have one for each of them. Right now I only have one, I just ordered a second one today off amazon and it should be here Wednesday. My plan was have them in separate carriers facing each other very close and go for a car ride. I’m trying to jump start getting Ophelia to trust him.

Sarah- that is good to know! He is just so calm and sweet, but she has a wild side for sure! I just had her in the carrier while I was switching them and she grunted at him. But perhaps because it isn’t neutral territory. She just hasn’t seemed to “accept” him yet…but it’s been so long….I’m like c’mon bun, can you cut me a break and just chill?!?! I think I am going to try the carriers facing each other car ride to see if she develops some sense of security with him. I just want to try a million things to try to get her comfortable before they are introduced because I feel like she is just gonna try to kill him…

[Mikey]

Sounds like a good plan, then I think putting them in carriers and giving them no other choice than to ‘communicate’ through the bars is a good idea.

[Nibble45]

My bunny is mentally challenged so for him yes

[Deleted User]

I’m going to give it a try this weekend and see if I can’t get her to be a little more receptive to him!

[Author]

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