My Girlfriend and I always dreamed of having a blonde Holland Lop. We aleays said she’d be like a child to us. This week, my girlfriend decided to get a rabbit from a bunny breeder on Craigslist, a magician, and when she got the bunny she fell in love. Just 2 months old. She was so happy my girlfriend said, always jumping (she kept hopping on her lap the whole ride back home) and when I saw her I fell in love too. She was kept in a brown box, and I found a daddy long legs in it (hoping it was, but I just dont know) and took it out, but she seemed fine when I took her to my room. She was so curious, always running around and sniffing things.
My Girlfriend and I are full time students, and we took this responsibility of Peels during Finals week…
I just…think we did so much wrong, and I wish I could undo everything.
On Monday we went to Petco and got everything we could, litter box, bedding, hay, a water feeder. We couldnt find a cage, so we put it off. For litter, we used kitty litter, and thought it’d work. Monday she was running around everywhere and had the time of her life, hiding and running to us with curiosity and a twitchy nose.
Peels was great for the first two days, saturday and monday, but she was different Tuesday and Wednesday. On Tuesday she wasnt jumpy, or happy like when we first got her, and when we were terrified, I checked this site and feared GI Stasis. I swapped out the kitty litter, and used bedding. In feae of it being GI stasis, I rubbed her tummy and hoped for the best. On wednesday, she pooped some gelatinous substance, and thats when I took her to the vet, despiye having a final the next day.
I took her to the vet, and they said she was very thin. I told them everyrhing I could, asked almost every question i could, but i felt like i should have pushed more…but unfortunately someone lost a pet that day. And as I heared that, I instantly grew so attached to Peels. I wanted her to live so much. The Vet said she was really thin, and prescribed two antibiotics and critical care as well as a hydration shot under her skin. I took her back to my room, and administered her dosages as prescribed.
I stayed up 38 hours for her, administering her drugs and critical care. She went from gelatinous poop to diaerhea, and I tried to give her water, feeding her the water bottle and giving her small cups of water. She would eat the hay as well, and I thought the diarrhea was from a lack of fiber. On Thursday she was doing better…but her back felt a little tense. And I was so damn busy on Thursday, from two finals and work…I slept for just a minute and i woke up to her eating a few bites of choclate. M&M size…
She was pooping pellet size droplets, midday…and then after that she had diarrhea…I was gone for so long I dont know what happened, and my GF was certainly exhausted. She took her a butt bath, to clean the diarrhea, and I helped, ensuring she was clean and that after she was washed she was dried. I tried to dry her to the best of my abilities. She huddled in my arms the whole time. She didmt want to eat her Critical care, but she was eating some hay. I didnt sleep until I knew she was asleep, and i left hay and water right next to her in her box. I covered the box with a wide open pore roof we made for her, covered hwr with a blanket so she wouldnt get sick or cold from any wet hair, and we went to bed.
I was to admnister her drugs at 7. I was up for 38 hours. I woke up at 12, and opened the box to giver her the drugs. And she was gone. In the corner of the box, stiff and eyes closed in her cute huddled up pose, not on the litter bux where I left her…she was moving before she left us. And I feel so terrible because I cant help but feel she might have felt alone. I spent the whole morning trying to wake her, but she was cold and stiff. She was gone. I cleaned her up, wrapped her up in her blanket, and we took her to the vet and let her go.
She used to do this cute thing where she would try to hop out of the box, and scuttle out and run up to us. And I keep imagining her trying to do that the whole time, trying to get to us…I wish I was with her before she went. I’m tearing up now, because it hurts me to think she went alone, and how she might have tried to get to us. I want her to know she was loved. I want to know that she went in peacr but because I hear it so much, I’m terrified to think of the possibilities og her svratching at the box, possibly even letting out one final unheard scream that I could not hear… I keep looking for her in my faith, the chance to let her know I love her, and that Im sorry, and that her last memories werent lonesome. And even if she went in peace…I cant help thinking that her lost thought were of us.
I loved that Little Lop. Ive been crying all day…and its been tough on my Girlfriend…
I wish I had done everything right. I was willing to fail every test for her…just so she could make it through. And yet I couldve done more. I made so many wrong calls, and moves. I shouldve force fed her, shouldve syringed her water, taken her to the vet regardless of it being just a little bit of chocolate and go to prison for not having enough money for an emergency vet visit if needed.
She would nibble the food off my hand, lick my palm clean when I would apply water. She would bob her head up and down and clean her ears and mouth in just the cutest way. She would try to stand on her hind legs, but because she was young would stumble and we would help her stabalize. We would use a dried up rose and would tease her with it. We played with her as much as we could, and the night before she passed away and almost every night before, my girlfriend and I huddled together with Peels right in the middle of us. She would sit on my lap and wait for me to pet her, cling to my chest and throb her little nose as I petted her and she looked up at me with her beady little eyes. Not a day went by where we did not pet her fur and play with her ears.
I keep praying, for peace of mind, for Peels to feel peace and love more tha I could give her.
I’ve never felt this for an animal, ever. And yet with her I felt a spiritual attachment that just…makes me feel deep down that I’ll see her again someday. And it’s really tough because we feel her absence, and when she said those dreaded words “I miss Peels” as she huddled up, I could only tear up and hold her with all the love I could, because I do to. All I have are pictures and memories, and her cute smell is stuck in my nose…
I want to see her again. I miss her She made us so happy. And I wish with all my heart I’ll see her again soon.
Thank you for reading through all this. Even though I was the one who took the loss the hardest, I’m trying to ensure my girlfriend does not feel the pain that I feel, since we are grieving in our own ways. Im sorry for the tears I cause, but I needed to share it with others. I hope you and your bunnies live long joyous lives, and wish the best for all of you.
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