In Loving Memory, Blackberry

[Jessica]

Hi, I’m Jessica and I have recently joined Binky Bunny. My dear baby, Blackberry, has recently passed away this week. I’ve taken it terribly hard because I’ve never had a pet of my own that I cared for and loved so much. I was given Blackberry by my loving parents back on April 14th, 2017, Good Friday !! I was itching to get a pet bunny for years! My little sister got a pet hamster. and together we both enjoyed our new pets. I’ve had Blackberry for little over 1 year and 6 months, now, and I never thought this day would come SO SOON, but he tragically passed away this past Monday, May 21st, 2018.

He contracted some kind of disease that we didn’t know about, and the symptoms weren’t that noticeable until I noticed that he was quite thin and I can feel his bones and spine… and I thought it was my fault, and I completely blamed myself and beat myself up about it, thinking I just wasn’t feeding him enough timothy hay, and this was happening around the beginning of May. I also noticed that as he tried to hop onto the 2nd level of his cage, he wouldn’t make it, and would fall off onto his side like collapsing, and I thought it was because he was weak from what I thought was “malnourishment”. It wasn’t until Sunday, May 20th, 2018 that he looked terrible and I told my dad that we needed to take him to a vet.

 I just assumed that he wouldn’t die from any kind of ailment because I never took him outside, or fed him bad food. I was so naïve. It was a little after 9 pm, and the Doctor said his blood sugar was extremely LOW, and his liver was failing, so she suggested Euthanasia, and I knew it sounded slightly appealing, so he wouldn’t suffer anymore, but I am a Christian and I believe that when God wants any kind of creation gone, HE will take them, not us. Plus, I didn’t want some doctor putting my bunny to sleep. I loved him and wouldn’t want to euthanize him either way. They injected fluids and gave us antibiotics so we can take care of him until he passed, because the Doctor had no hope he’d survive. The next day, he looked fine, still very ill, though.

I was too anxious to know how he was doing, so while I was at school, I texted my dad and asked how Blackberry was doing. He looked fine in a picture that my dad sent, but when I got picked up from school at 3 pm, we went home, and I ran to my room. I wanted to see my little baby. I expected to see him upright on all fours, but he was collapsed, mouth-breathing slowly, moving his legs trying to expand his lungs to get more air. I was shocked that the antibiotic injection from the night before wore off so quickly and during the day, my dad claimed he accepted antibiotics orally, but why did he end up on his side, gasping for life? He passed away and took his last breath in front of me, and so far, I have cried every day and have felt depressed. I loved him so much and will always miss him. I’m filled with so much grief, and my heart contains a void that will never be filled by anything or anyone. Nothing can ever replace him.

It’s never a good time to lose a beloved pet, but school lets out soon and my summer feels ruined because my play mate us gone, now. I know my story seems very long, but this is me pouring myself out to our great bunny community, and if you’ve read this far, thank you so much. I love and miss Blackberry with all of my heart and I ask for prayers. It is so hard for me to deal with his passing because he meant so much to me and I’ve never lost someone that meant so much to me, until now. Thank you for reading, and are there any tips on how to cope with grief over a pet bunny’s passing? I’d love some. 

                                                        – Jessica A. 

[Bunny House]

I am so sorry for your loss, loosing a baby is never easy. We often blame ourselves when this happens. All you can say is that you did the best you could at that time. Looking back, we always see what we should have done differently, but in the moment we make the best decision we can. Bunnies are just very sensitive creatures and we can’t heal everything with medicine, that’s why you leave it up to God to tell you when its time.

Everyone copes differently, take time to cry, time heals everything. Just remember how much fun you had with him and all the good stuff.

[Bam]

I’m so very sorry for that you lost Blackberry.

There are congenital problems that can cause weightloss/ failure to thrive, like heart-problems or liver issues or malfunctioning kidneys. There is also a very common fungus-like parasite called e cuniculi that the bun can get from it’s mother and become a life-long carrier of. This parasite can suddenly, even after a very long time, attack the internal organs and the nervous system. It’s not known why the parasite stays dormant in most buns, but cause severe disease/death in others.

The antibiotics were not enough to make him survive, and that could be because whatever he had, it wasn’t caused by bacteria. I think what perked him up after you’d seen the vet was probably the fluids.

It is very hard to cope with the loss of a beloved pet. Grief will have it’s time, and it will be painful. You can make a photo album with your favorite pics of him, you can light a tealight next to his picture in the evenings (an electric tealight is the safest), you can paint a picture of him or embroider something. These are things myself and other members have done to celebrate the memory of our beloved buns. It’s no cure for grief, though, because there is no “cure” for something that’s a natural consequence of losing someone you love very much.

Binky free, sweet ****Blackberry****, your mommy loves you.

[Phil]

So sorry for your loss of Blackberry, seems so unfair he should be taken at such a young age, I lost my bunny in jan he was 8 years old, we all wish our bunnies could live for ever but life’s cruel, you did all you could but its very hard to take, try and remember all the good times you had with him, Rip little Blackberry

[MountainBuns]

Im sorry for your loss, I understand how much it hurts. Please dont take it hard on yourself, It hurts, but eventually you will feel better. Your bunny sounded like a wonderful pet.

Binky Free, Among the Stars, Sweet Blackberry

[MountainBuns]

Im sorry for your loss, I understand how much it hurts. Please dont take it hard on yourself, It hurts, but eventually you will feel better. Your bunny sounded like a wonderful pet.

Binky Free, Among the Stars, Sweet Blackberry

[MountainBuns]

As for coping, it ,may feel good to remember all the stuff you did together, remember how much he loved you and how you loved him. Maybe you can make a little memorial in your yard, Like a gravestone. Surround it with some of his favorite things, like toys. You can also make a online memorial for him. Some other idea’s are to write a poem, listen to a song or make one about him.

[Gordo and Janice]

Hi Jessica. Sorry for your loss and pain. I too never loved an animal so much as I loved my Icey (our rabbit). It hurts beyond words. I remember shifting between devastating sadness, massive anger, tons of guilt, back and forth, all over the place. I watched her waste away over a month to month and a half, mostly the last month. Feeling helpless.  Icey was nestled up against my wife with my wife’s arm wrapped around Icey when she passed away. It’s such an everlasting moment in your memory. I feel your pain. It’s been almost 5 months now. You have already been told and I am sure you know, this grief is something you have to go through there is no way around it. But know it will get better. It’s different for everyone and everyone deals with the process in different ways. I remember the first couple of weeks I was lost, numb, didn’t know how to be normal. I was crying all the time. Crying at the gym struggling to keep it together in front of others. Crying in the grocery store hiding down an aisle until I could get it back together. Always hurrying to get back to the car before I exploded in tears. I was a mess.

But time is always the key. Again different for everyone. It’s always real intense at first and then it begins to lessen. It seemed like it would never get better and it even felt like it was getting worse. But you will wake up one day and realize that your are doing better. It may go back and forth but on average you will begin to get better. One of things that helped me (again everyone is different) was first and foremost finding this website.  And being able to tell everyone about Icey and giving her a send off so to speak by sharing her essence with true like minded bunny loving people. Telling her story (obviously condensed) from start to finish. Truth be told I got the idea from reading someone else’s (September’s) tribute to her bunny, Timothy (Timbob Roo ). I felt like Icey would had lived and died in vain. I didn’t want that. It helped me. Another thing was reading through everyone else’s losses. Even though you know it, to be able to actually read and feel that the love and loss and pain that I was presently experiencing has been and was being shared by others, it seemed to help me dilute mine, if you will. Also by sharing with others or just relating to others by posting comments back and forth, people who had just lost their bunny or were still dealing with the loss, again, it helped with my perspective. And lastly, it was or is sort of a mind game but at the same time it’s not, but trying to control my perspective also sped up my getting over the initial despair. When I would start to feel nothing but yearning and longing and missing her and that sadness of her helpless decline then I immediately began to force myself to be thankful or grateful for what I was able to experience with her. Because truly I wouldn’t be feeling so much pain if I hadn’t experienced so much incredible joy and love. Me and my wife, had never even known about rabbits as a family indoor pet. The both of us knew people growing up that had rabbits out in a back yard hutch but never knew that rabbits could be an indoor pet, actually an important and integral part of the family. To have experienced that to it’s fullest with Icey, I am still so grateful. I can’t imagine many people get it, and most will never understand. Those were things that helped me. Janice was different. In fact we never really discussed it. She may not know at this point but time is always the common denominator and great healer in these circumstances. The only reason I know what helped me is because I’ve had to think about it in depth in my sharing with others in our losses.

I am sorry this is so long. I always feel so compelled to help. And it’s hard (for me anyway) to feel like I’ve done anything with just a few words. I’m not that good. You asked for tips on how to cope. I gave you what helped me.

You loved Blackberry very much. You did what you could. I’m sure he knew he was loved. You gave him a good life. There is nothing to feel guilty about even though we can be relentless with ourselves in that department. Cry as you want and should. Grieve in your way. You have to walk through it, it’s part of life. Just know in time it gets better. You will be able to think about things that Blackberry did, the way he acted, the things that made him himself, and you will be able to smile. I do with Icey.

Take care. You are in my thoughts.

Binky free {{{Blackberry}}}

[Author]

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