I’m just really having a hard time…

[SirThumpsey]

As some of you might be aware, I lost two rabbits very dear to me over the summer in the same week. Bunnie had been around for a while and had a good life but Myracle had just begun to live. I began to think about it today and realized that it still pains me.

It seems as though I will be okay for a month or so and then something will happen and I just can’t stop thinking about them. It also doesn’t help that I am currently up at college and haven’t been able to go home to see Sir Thumps A lot since school started. I really miss them.  I think the hardest part about it is that I thought of Myracle as like a daughter. She relied on me to feed and bathe her and keep her warm. She really was like my daughter. And I definitly loved her like one.

I want to do something really special for them. My family moved to another house and Bunnie and Myracle’s remains are still at the old house. I buried them in the yard and I feel really bad leaving them there. The people who are living there now are good friends of the family so they probably wouldn’t mind too much if I visited them. I just don’t feel right leaving them there. I feel like…I am almost abandoning them. I can’t do that to them, it just seems so wrong.

Any ideas or advice that you can give me would be greatly appreciated.

[kralspace]

I’m so sorry, I remember the threads about your buns. They were very lucky to have you as bunny mom and no doubt knew how loved they were. Unfortunately, there is no shortcut through the grief, just when you think you’re beginning to get a handle on it, some little thing triggers it and it’s just like yesterday. Time will dull it, but the love is always there.

Do you think the family would let you put a flat stone where the bunnies are buried? or plant something as a memory? For gifts at work (we have a lot of gardeners) we select a flat stone from Home Depot and get the headstone company to engrave something on it.

lots of ((((((hugs))))))) to you, it hurts so much to lose the little ones, Kathy

[kralspace]

I love lockets, I have one with a photo of my horse and first kitty. Maybe it would make you feel like you have a part of them always with you

[babybunsmum]

first… (((big hugs)))… i’m so sorry you lost your buns. and so close together too. that really really bites.

i think grief comes in unpredictable waves and can be prolonged when other things in your life are also changing or uprooting. and you’ve had a fair bit of change recently with being away at college and your family home moving. be patient with yourself because it’s okay to still really miss them.

i’m certainly not a profesional but i think feeling like you’ve abandoned your buns is an extension of your grief, like when people hang onto things that represent their lost loved ones / pets. i think its pretty normal to do this. i had a really hard time selling my dad’s boat after he died. even four years after i procrastinated selling it and cried like a baby when it eventually sold. it felt like i was losing another piece of my dad but in hindsight it was actually another stage of letting go of my dad and not as much to do with the boat as i thought at the time.

i guess what i’m trying to say is, just realize that it’s its okay to let go of your buns bit by bit. eventually you will feel okay letting them stay at rest in your old yard so hang in there.

[Lintini]

*hugs*

I lost a lot of pets too when I went away to college too. It felt like my childhood was officially ripped away from me and I had to grow up. My 13 year old dog died, 36 year old horse, 18 year old cockatiel, and a chinchilla, AND my great grandmother. And I wasn’t there for them. I cried and cried and cried. I completely understand how you feel and I am so so sorry you lost your babies. I have their photos kept in my room in beautiful frames, or some photos are in the scrapbook or on the large mixture of photo collages on the wall. I look at them often and it brings back fond memories and I just have to think they are in a wonderful place now. At our family cabin we have grave stones that my dad made for our dogs we’ve had that passed since my mom and dad have been married, and even one from my mom’s childhood. My dog has not been buried there yet, (her ashes are on our fireplace mantle in a beautiful box) but her grave stone is up and I still will put wildflowers on her grave. (wow i just started crying!) We all miss and love our pets so much when they are gone and it’s a very hard thing to deal with. Sometimes I would just be in class after our 36 year old horse passed away and I would just start crying. You aren’t alone is what I am trying to say and I think maybe creating a headstone of some-sort at your new home could really help you. Maybe you can have a second memorial for them if you do decide this, and bury some things you remember most about them. Their favorite treats, etc. Then you can always have a sort of memorial area for them and tell them hello, etc, whatever would help you. I have also had a terrible summer. My grandma who I have always wanted to be just like has passed away just 2 months ago and I am completely in denial about it still. It just feels like she is still in Hawaii letting me put plumeria in her hair and saving me from jellyfish stings. Maybe I’m not the best person to be giving out advice because I am completely miserable right now too!! Dealing with loss is so so hard and what helps me through it all is just remember all the great times and never ever forget them. Sorry I think I overdid it in my post but I just know so much how you feel. I hope you start feeling better soon, and me too!

[RabbitPam]

I was very homesick when I went off to college, but to have a pet not be at home for you is much harder to deal with, so I agree – be patient with yourself.

I thought of the flat stone first, but a bush would be nicer for their family and more natural. Could you ask them if you could plant a pretty rose bush in the spot? Or a hearty flowering plant there? That way, they will live on in nature, the family will enjoy the plant and it will commemorate them.
We rarely stay or always know where our pets are buried. Many are cremated. So you could create a little photo album with pix and mementos in their honor to keep with you always.

[MooBunnay]

It is very tough to get over the loss of your pets. I lost a foster bunny of mine and I still think about her quite often. What I like to do is donate in memory of my pets, so that even though they have passed on – they can continue make a good impact on the world. When I lost my foster bunny, I went to a rescue website of a group that I really liked, and found out that they needed a new camera. So I bought a new camera for their bunny area in honor of my bunny so that I knew that she had helped get many more bunnies adopted. Also, you could sponsor a bunny from a rescue, that way, you could check up on the bunny from time to time and know that even though your bunnies have passed on, they are helping a homeless bunny find a new home.

[SirThumpsey]

uhh…my whole post just got deleted…and I’d retype it but the sun is rising and I should go to bed.

(Note to self: No Caffeine before bed)

I hit a button (or combination of buttons) and everything disappeared.

After sleep and food I will re-type everything.

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

I really struggled losing Kokanee.

It was over 1.5 years ago, but it’s still painful. I purchased a ceramic bunny that looks like her, and framed a picture of her, with a poem one of BB’s members wrote that really touched me.

She’s in my parents garden, but that’s not where I visit her. I visit her picture, and her old friend Kahlua

[SirThumpsey]

Lintini- I am so sorry that you lost so many animals in such a short period of time.

My friend Maggie is making a grave marker for her and her daughter.
I already have a rose bush in the yard and I’m not sure that it would get enough sun if there was one planted where I buried them.

I have a couple pictures of Bunnie but only one of Myracle and you really can’t see her very well. The lighting in my house sucks. It’s on my phone so I look at it pretty often.

I do have a bag of Sir Thumps a lot’s fur. He recently shedded and I gathered a lot of it up and I think I am going to spin it so I can knit a scarf or something from it. He is still alive and he is the only bun I have left. I have been really worried about him lately. He’s healthy but you never know what can happen while you are away at college.

When I went home over fall break, I noticed that his feet were really matted. I tried to trim it but it was difficult so my friend told me to soak them for about 15 minutes. He was only in the tub for maybe a minute and the water turned a dark urine color. His feet were probably soaking in urine for awhile. I told them to make sure they clean the litter box more often. I got most of the matt off and noticed that his nails were pretty long. So I also trimmed them. She doesn’t take very good care of him. I wish I could just take him up to college with me, but I can’t 🙁 He looks a lot better now though.

The idea that I had was that I could foster baby buns and their mom. Right after Myracle died all I could think about was how much I wanted another baby bun. I knew that it would be irresponsible to bring another litter of buns in this world that I probably couldn’t keep. It wasn’t even possible at that point because Sir Thumps had been neutered. I just really wanted another cute lil bun. If I ever end up with another surprise litter, I just hope that the mom makes it so that I can watch the whole process the way it is supposed to happen. I learned alot from this experience. I loved them both so much, more than I ever thought I could love again. After the “love of my life” turned out to be a real jerk (long story) I thought I would never love that deeply but as it turns out, all it took was a cute little bun.

Thank you to everyone who responded. You don’t know how much your words meant (still do mean) to me. <3

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

I gathered a lot of it up and I think I am going to spin it so I can knit a scarf or something from it

That’s a wonderful idea

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