I’ll see you again, sweet West.

[bunnnnnnie!]

West has passed.

Her chronic bouts of stasis were not improving.  The last one turned very severe very fast.  I wasn’t going to let her be in pain.

She went very very quietly.  I held her in my arms while the sedation and painkillers took effect, and she just relaxed and you could visibily see the pain leaving her body.  She felt so much better, total relief from pain.  The vet took her in the back to give the final medicine, but she was non-responsive already.  She drifted out of consciousness in my arms, being pet and loved, and me telling her I’ll always love her and I’ll care for her til the very end, but that this wasn’t the end.  We’ll see each other again.

The final medicine was given and the vet said she didn’t even flinch.  She was gone within a minute or two.

I miss my girl, but I am so comforted in the fact that I know she’ll never be in pain again, she’ll never be afraid again, and that she was ready.  It was 100% clear she had chosen her time to go.

Love you, little girl. 

[bunnyfriend]

Reading this made me cry. I am so sorry. You really took amazing care of her and fought so hard for her. You were strong enough to make the best decision for her. Binky free West

[bunnnnnnie!]

Posted By bunnyfriend on 02/27/2012 08:37 PM
Reading this made me cry. I am so sorry. You really took amazing care of her and fought so hard for her. You were strong enough to make the best decision for her. Binky free West

Thank you so much for the kind words.
 

[peppypoo]

Oh no I’m so so sorry…I’ve been following along hoping that things would work out . I’m glad though that West found someone to love her like you did…binky free, Miss West!

[FrankieFlash]

Bunnnie, I’m so sorry. I’m having trouble finding the right words to say as I’m crying now too. I think you did amazing by her. You gave her the best days of her life and she was lucky to have you. I know she appreciated all you did for her. We will all miss hearing stories of her rabbitude. Binky free West!

[bunnnnnnie!]

Posted By peppypoo on 02/27/2012 08:43 PM
Oh no I’m so so sorry…I’ve been following along hoping that things would work out . I’m glad though that West found someone to love her like you did…binky free, Miss West!

Yeah I truly thought things would work out too.  But after seeing her tonight, it was really clear that even if I got her through tonight, she was going to continue to suffer.
 

I swear Zeus knew.  He quite deliberately went up to her cage today, sat with her and watched her for a good minute, gave her a sniff, then slowly hopped away.  He never does that.  Now he keeps sniffing my hoodie covered in her fur, then staring at me, right in my eyes.  He’s being super cuddly.

[Malp_15]

Oh my gosh! I am so sorry you gave her a wonderful life and she is in a better place now.

[Huckleberry]

I am so sorry to see this. We were all praying for her to pull through. It takes a great strength to make such a painful decision, West is lucky to have someone that is that loving and strong. Binky Free, West! You are loved.

[bunnnnnnie!]

Posted By FrankieFlash on 02/27/2012 08:54 PM
Bunnnie, I’m so sorry. I’m having trouble finding the right words to say as I’m crying now too. I think you did amazing by her. You gave her the best days of her life and she was lucky to have you. I know she appreciated all you did for her. We will all miss hearing stories of her rabbitude. Binky free West!

I really appreciate it, thank you for the support.  When she was drifting off from the sedation, she was just cuddled up in my arms, totally relaxed and comfortable.  She trusted I would keep her safe.  The last few weeks we really bonded.  I’m glad for that, she had someone she trusted would protect her during the whole process.
 

[Monkeybun]

i am so so sorry

Binky Free little West. Watch over your mama from the other side of the Bridge. We’ll miss you, pretty girl.

[bunnnnnnie!]

Posted By Huckleberry on 02/27/2012 08:55 PM
I am so sorry to see this. We were all praying for her to pull through. It takes a great strength to make such a painful decision, West is lucky to have someone that is that loving and strong. Binky Free, West! You are loved.

I know, I got so much support from the BB members, and I’m so grateful for it.
 

Malp; Thanks for the kind words.

[emkvet]

I am absolutely bawling right now. I have followed you and West, and I was hurting for you when she was sick. You took amazing care of her and did everything right. It was hard to know that she was struggling. I couldn’t believe it when I saw this post. I am unbelievably sorry for your loss, and am truly feeling for you. I think you are incredibly brave for letting West go; I believe that euthanasia is truly a gift that takes courage and love to give. (((BINKY FREE WEST))), and sending so much love and hugs to you, bunnnnnnie!

[bunnnnnnie!]

Posted By Monkeybun on 02/27/2012 08:59 PM
i am so so sorry

Binky Free little West. Watch over your mama from the other side of the Bridge. We’ll miss you, pretty girl.

Thanks Monkeybun.  I know West is still with me, I told her I’d never leave her and I never will.  We’ll see each other again.
 

[bunnnnnnie!]

Posted By emkvet on 02/27/2012 09:00 PM
I am absolutely bawling right now. I have followed you and West, and I was hurting for you when she was sick. You took amazing care of her and did everything right. It was hard to know that she was struggling. I couldn’t believe it when I saw this post. I am unbelievably sorry for your loss, and am truly feeling for you. I think you are incredibly brave for letting West go; I believe that euthanasia is truly a gift that takes courage and love to give. (((BINKY FREE WEST))), and sending so much love and hugs to you, bunnnnnnie!

Thanks so much, I really appreciate it.  It was a hard decision but West definitely let me know she was ready.  Watching the relief wash over her little face made me feel so much better about the decision.
 

[SirThumpsey]

Oh my gosh. I was looking for an update on this story and I was hoping I wouldn’t find it here. I am so terribly sorry. Truly, I am. It is so amazing to me how she just kind of fell into your lap…how lucky she was to have done so. And you did the very best you could and made a very hard decision. My thoughts are with you and Zeus.

(((Binky free Sweet West, your momma loves you)))

[MimzMum]

I am in total shock. I can’t see through my tears. I’m so sorry you had to make this decision.
I haven’t been to BB in awhile. I had no idea she was ill. I’m so very sorry.
You and Zeus are in my thoughts and prayers. (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

[KytKattin]

I am so sorry for your loss. So good of you to take such good care of her. You gave her what she could have never received at the shelter, and even though her time with you was short, you gave her a wonderful gift. Now that she is at peace, how are you doing?

[LittlePuffyTail]

I’m so very sorry about West. I’m very sad to find this post this morning.

What a wonderful gift you gave her, she had a person to love her unconditionally. And she left this world knowing she was loved and that she belonged. **Many hugs to you** And for what it’s worth, I truly think you will see her again.

(((Binky Free Sweet West)))

[bunnnnnnie!]

Thanks for all the condolences everyone, I appreciate it.

This morning has been hard.  Waking up and not having her there, throwing her little dish around demanding her breakfast.. I miss her.

Spending lots of time with Zeus.  He sniffed all over her cage this morning, looked at me, then hopped away.  Animals seem to understand and accept these things far better than we do. 

[Sarita]

I’m crying right now. She was lucky to have someone who loved her so much and she spent her last few weeks in a place of comfort and happiness. I know making this decision was hard, but it was a very selfless thing for you to do. Hugs to you and I will light a candle for little West so she can cross the bridge and be whole again.

[bunnnnnnie!]

Posted By Sarita on 02/28/2012 05:34 AM
I’m crying right now. She was lucky to have someone who loved her so much and she spent her last few weeks in a place of comfort and happiness. I know making this decision was hard, but it was a very selfless thing for you to do. Hugs to you and I will light a candle for little West so she can cross the bridge and be whole again.

Thanks Sarita. I think that’s one of the hardest parts, that I didn’t have a lot of time with her.  But I keep telling myself, I’ll see her again, we’ll get to spend more time together again.
 

Part of me thinks this all was kind of fate.  My mom is probably going to be moving in with me for a few weeks (looks like she’s getting a job here and has no place to stay), then we were going to have to be in a rental house for awhile, then finally into the house my family is trying to buy.  That’s a LOT of change that West won’t have to endure now.  She never did well with change, and didn’t even like when other people were in the apartment besides me.  Instead she got to have her time with me uninterrupted, no big changes, where she got to relax and enjoy her environment.

[Elrohwen]

I’m so so sorry to hear about little West – she was really a special girl and lucky to have such a good life with you, even if it was for a short time. (((hugs)))

[Quantum]

Oh, Bun, I’m so very sorry. Add me to the list of the crying, but you made the best decision you could as hard as it was. Binky free, wee West and know your Mom loved you enough to let you go when you needed to.

[bunnnnnnie!]

Thanks guys.  I just ordered a little photo book of her from Walgreens, it should be ready later today.  I might take some photos of it to share with you guys when I get it.  I filled it with inspirational quotes about pets and loss of pets, I think it’ll be a really nice way to remember her.

The vet’s office also gave me a little clay imprint of her front paws.  It’s drying right now, once it’s dry I may paint it, I haven’t decided yet.  You can even see her crooked leg in the imprint, one paw is facing forward and the other is a little eskew, haha.  It gave her character. 

[Monkeybun]

What a nice little remembrance token for you

[bunnnnnnie!]

Posted By Monkeybun on 02/28/2012 07:32 AM
What a nice little remembrance token for you

Yeah when the vet tech told me they give you a paw imprint I started crying (more than I already was).  It’s beautiful, makes me feel like I still have a little part of her with me.

She is being cremated, but I opted to not get the ashes back.  It was extremely expensive (almost $400 for non-private ashes, meaning they do a group of pets at a time, so you get ashes back that is only partly your pet), and I really have nowhere to bury or spread them that would feel right.  She was most comfortable in my apartment, in her home.  So the paw prints are perfect, and I can’t wait to see the book when it’s done.

I will say the emergency clinic was great.  They were very sympathetic and the vet was surprisingly well-versed in rabbits.  They gave her large amounts of sedatives and painkillers before the final drug, and let me have all the time I wanted before administering the last drug.  I couldn’t have asked for a better way to go for my little girl.  She was totally content to just cuddle up in my arms and doze off.  The vet did give me the option to stay for the final drug if I absolutely wanted to, but really persuaded me against it.  Like I said though, the sedatives and painkillers worked so well that the vet even said she was already unconscious before the last drug was given.

She left this world knowing I was there with her, keeping her safe, she’d never be alone again.

I miss her so much but I know she’s been relieved of all the struggles she’s had.

 

[bunnnnnnie!]

Zeus went into her cage (I haven’t taken it down yet, and just left the door open so he could see she wasn’t there anymore and “get” it), and promptly went into her litterbox and pooped and peed.  She had a little corner box, it was admittedly hilarious watching him smash his 10lb butt in it.  It was like an elephant sitting in a teacup.

Zeus says, “You wanted poops, I will give poops!”  Thanks for the “gift”, silly bunny boy. 

[Stickerbunny]

Oh no. I am so sorry about West, was hoping the change in diet would have helped. She had a true home before the end and I am sure she was grateful for a loving companion to be there with her in the end. *hugs to you and Zeus*

[Hazel]

Bunnnie, I’m incredibly sorry for your loss. I too was following her progress and thought it would all work out. I know she wasn’t with you very long, but the days you had with her were surely the best of her life. You made the right choice, and I’m sure she is thankful. *hugs*

[bunnnnnnie!]

Thanks guys.  I guess that was the hardest part; I didn’t get to spend that much time with her.  I wanted to give her a good, long life.. but that just wasn’t in the cards.  At least it’s better than if this were to happen at the shelter, they’re not rabbit-savvy at all so they probably wouldn’t have even noticed her being sick.

I took down her cage/pen, cried the whole time.  I might have to give the dog crate away or something, I’m having a really hard time looking at it all folded up.  Or maybe I’ll just try and hide it for awhile.

I saved a handful of her shedded fur when I was cleaning things up, any ideas what I can do with it?

I have her memorial photo book back too from Walgreens, I’ll post a few pics shortly. 

[Sarita]

I don’t think you need to keep the fur…you have the pawprint, the photos and the memories. It’s always hard putting their stuff up because then you know it’s final and having a good cry is a good way to grieve.

[Pandorachik]

I am so sorry to hear this sad, sad news :'(
She was absolutely so lucky to have you! You took wonderful care of her when she was here on earth. You made the right decision. Its probably the hardest.
Hugs to you and don’t forget–West is running around in the green lush feilds with his friends-waiting for you♥
He will ALWAYS love you :’)
((BINKY FREE WEST))

[bunnnnnnie!]

 

Some photos of the book I made.  It’ll be a really nice keepsake.

I’m constantly reminded that life never truly ends, it’s a neverending cycle.  West passed yesterday, and Zeus’s birthday is tomorrow.  He’ll be 4. 

[Sarita]

What a beautiful album.

[Pandorachik]

Sarita: You stole my words!

It is a very beautiful album. Such a wonderful way to remember your sweet bunny <3

[bunnnnnnie!]

Posted By Sarita on 02/28/2012 11:58 AM
What a beautiful album.

Thanks Sarita.  I wish I had more photos of her, but she wasn’t a fan of picture taking, haha.
 

[AbbyGirl]

You’re album is beautiful. I’m so sorry to hear about West. She was a beautiful little girl and she was lucky to have you even if it was only a short time.
My thoughts are with you. (HUGS)

[bunnnnnnie!]

Thanks Abbygirl.

I’ve rearranged my apartment to fill the place her cage used to be.  Zeus looooves when I rearrange, it turns into a fun game of adventure for him.  SIlly boy.

As I was rearranging and cleaning, I picked up the last handful of West fur I’ll have.   She had such a beautiful soft, blue and white coat.  I saved a tiny bit, I’m going to make a charm for a bracelet with it.  The rest I took to my window, opened it wide, and let the fur go.  The wind picked it up and carried it away.  I like to think some of it will go for miles.  Some might help build a bird’s nest come Spring, preparing for little babies.  I’ve got to let go of my girl, and let her return back to Mother Nature.  It’s where we all came from, and where we all return to, someday.  I’ll see her again.

Mother Nature always reminds me nothing truly dies, nothing really ends.  West isn’t gone, her spirit is still here.  Her sweet little soul will never leave me.

Off to the craft store, time to make a bracelet.

[Pandorachik]

Good luck on the bracelet! Cool idea!

[Monkeybun]

A bracelet is a great idea!

Love the album, I’ll have to make one up for my little fluffs when it is their time. Although I think monkey would disagree with the “pets don’t give criticism” thing.. heh.

[bunnnnnnie!]

Posted By Monkeybun on 02/28/2012 02:11 PM
A bracelet is a great idea!

Love the album, I’ll have to make one up for my little fluffs when it is their time. Although I think monkey would disagree with the “pets don’t give criticism” thing.. heh.

Haha yeah, I love it that I put that quote next to the photo she was giving me her disapproving face in. .

Got my bracelet charm curing now, it should be dry in about 24 hours or so.  It looks neat, I’ll try and get pics once it’s done.  Got a little tuft of her fur suspended in resin.

 

[Quantum]

Your album is beautiful, Bunnnnnnie, both in looks and in the feelings it represents. It’s a lovely memorial to a much-loved life.

[bunnnnnnie!]

Posted By Quantum on 02/28/2012 05:01 PM
Your album is beautiful, Bunnnnnnie, both in looks and in the feelings it represents. It’s a lovely memorial to a much-loved life.

Thanks Quantum.
 

It’s funny the little things you miss about them.  I miss watching her eat hay.  I miss giving her snacks when Zeus gets fed.  I miss reaching into her cage and giving her kisses on the head.

I know I sound like a broken record, but I just really miss my girl.

[Bumblebunny]

I am so sorry to hear about littlebun West. I will light a candle for her at gratefulness.org

[HappyHopperz]

I have heard vaguely about West and her struggles, and all I can say is you made the right choice. You have no reason to be ashamed to keep taking about her, we are here to comfort you, and beleive me, it is especially hard losing a pet, especially a rabbit. I lost my first bunny last April, and he was only 2.5 years old I still have pictures of him though, and keep a small tuft of his fur attached to a picture of him and me. Since then, he has returned to me in two bunnies. My second bunny is his exact twin in appearance, and my third bunny is the same in his personality, licking and marking me with his chin. I miss him dearly, and your thread had brought me to tears reminding me of him and grieving for you and Zeus. You can feel good that you made the right decision, and that West is now happily running across the Rainbow Bridge, free of pain. Best wishes to you and Zeus, I’ll be praying for both of you.

[lashkay]

I’m sorry about little West, my condolences. She was a sweet bunny and you did the kindest thing you could do for her, letting her go in no pain. Sending healing vibes to you, as she watches over you with love from the happy place she romps in.

[Quantum]

Posted By bunnnnnnie! on 02/28/2012 06:10 PM

Posted By Quantum on 02/28/2012 05:01 PM
Your album is beautiful, Bunnnnnnie, both in looks and in the feelings it represents. It’s a lovely memorial to a much-loved life.

Thanks Quantum.
 

It’s funny the little things you miss about them.  I miss watching her eat hay.  I miss giving her snacks when Zeus gets fed.  I miss reaching into her cage and giving her kisses on the head.

I know I sound like a broken record, but I just really miss my girl.

Oh, I understand.  I’d make a loud noise and reflexively start for the living room to let Bean know it was all right.  Or think it was bedtime and think, “Okay, I’ll get the coffee maker ready for morning and then do bunny bedtime.”.  But there was no bun there.  My Mom used to say, “What never makes you laugh will never make you cry” and I think that’s about right.  All we can do is love them and enjoy the time we have together and know that someday we can look back on the good things without tears.  {{Hugs}}

[SirThumpsey]

As I was rearranging and cleaning, I picked up the last handful of West fur I’ll have.   She had such a beautiful soft, blue and white coat.  I saved a tiny bit, I’m going to make a charm for a bracelet with it.  The rest I took to my window, opened it wide, and let the fur go.  The wind picked it up and carried it away.  I like to think some of it will go for miles.  Some might help build a bird’s nest come Spring, preparing for little babies.  I’ve got to let go of my girl, and let her return back to Mother Nature.  It’s where we all came from, and where we all return to, someday.  I’ll see her again.

Aww,I think that is such a great idea. I know the birds will appreciate it.

Can I ask how you are gonna make the charm?

[Binx86]

Holding a bunny while it slowly dies is never easy more so after going through the roller coaster of emotions trying to nurse them back to health. You did the best thing for her though and I think she probably loves you all the more for it. You were selfless and brave and she knew how much you loved her and left the world in complete piece. I’m sure she’s doing binkies over the rainbow bridge and thinking of you.

And an idea for the fur… I don’t know how possible it would be but.. Victorians had a thing with hair, they did full pictures and such out of it even made jewelery. Maybe you could get a necklace made, find someone who could maybe braid it, or wrap it in a small ribbon and encase it in a cabochon shell. Kind of like these.. http://www.morninggloryjewelry.com/victorian-hair-jewelry-aid-52.html I don’t know if this company specifically does custom orders, but I’m sure someone would.

[Binx86]

Hehe, missed the part about you already making the bracelet, net was acting up a bit, but it sounds like you were thinking the same thing only way ahead of me! Hope it turned out!

[LittlePuffyTail]

That album is so beautiful. What a lovely souvenir of your time together.

I love what you did with her fur too. Very sweet.

[bunnnnnnie!]

Thanks for the kind words guys, I really appreciate it so much.  I’m trying to be happy today, as it is Zeus’s birthday.  He’s 4 years old today, my big boy.  Happy Birthday my furry loveable bear.

As for the bracelet, I bought an “empty” pendant, (without a stone in it, so it’s just a metal little “cup” sort of), and bought some jewelry resin.  I put the little tuft of West’ts fur in the middle of the pendant, then poured the resin ontop of it.  So the fur is kind of suspended in the resin.  It’ll take about 24 hours or so to dry.  I’ll be sure to try and get a photo once it’s done.  I got just a simple silver bracelet chain to go with it.

It’ll be nice to have that tiny piece of her with me at all times.  It’s so hard letting her go.  I miss my old routine, like Quantum said.  I’ll hear a rustle and look over at the area where her cage was.. but then I’m reminded I would hear that rustle and check on her to make sure she wasn’t struggling too much with her current bout of stasis.  It was a constant battle for her the last month or so.  She’d get better for a short while, then be sick again.  I’m glad I was able to break that cycle for her.  She’ll never be sick again, and now she can eat whatever she wants.

 

[RabbitPam]

bunnnnnnie!
I’m just learning about West this afternoon because I’ve been off the site for a week, but I am so sorry about your sad news.
I’ve read through the post here, and you did give her a warm and loving life so she was able to end her days in a great home. She is over the Bridge and pain free, and you probably will meet again, or she will push you near another little bunny someday that she “approves of”. She knows she was loved.

The book is lovely, and your bracelet sounds like amber. What a wonderful keepsake.
Please accept my hugs to you and Zeus. {{{{{{{{{{{hugs. Binky free, sweet West}}}}}}}}}}}}

[bunnnnnnie!]

Posted By RabbitPam on 02/29/2012 02:01 PM
bunnnnnnie!
I’m just learning about West this afternoon because I’ve been off the site for a week, but I am so sorry about your sad news.
I’ve read through the post here, and you did give her a warm and loving life so she was able to end her days in a great home. She is over the Bridge and pain free, and you probably will meet again, or she will push you near another little bunny someday that she “approves of”. She knows she was loved.

The book is lovely, and your bracelet sounds like amber. What a wonderful keepsake.
Please accept my hugs to you and Zeus. {{{{{{{{{{{hugs. Binky free, sweet West}}}}}}}}}}}}

Thanks Pam.  It’s been hard but I’m very slowly accepting that’s she’s moved on to a better place.
 

The bracelet should be done when I get home from work, I can’t wait to see it.  I’ll be sure to get a photo.  It’ll be a really nice little memento.

[Pandorachik]

I am so sorry for West! I actually cried, but I know you took wondrful care of him!
Please take pics of the braacelet whenn it’s done! That’s a neat idea!

[LBJ10]

I’m super late to this thread. I had no clue until I saw your other post in the Lounge section. I’m sorry to hear about West. She was such a cutie! You did so much for her by giving her a home when she needed one and caring for her when she was sick. I like the album you had made. The bracelet sounds really cool. You’ll have to post a picture.

[bunnnnnnie!]

Thanks for the kind words guys.  I actually ended up making the bracelet into a necklace instead, I’ll be sure to share photos soon. 

[Pandorachik]

Aw. That’s cool! Pics are accepted….

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

Oh I’m so so sorry!!! I couldn’t believe the title when I saw this. Oh I’m sorry. I know what you mean about the conflict of pain and loss but also the relief that there will be no more suffering. West is happy and whole now at the bridge. Binky Free West

[Author]

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