I miss holding my baby

[mokiandmawma]

My bunny “Moki” passed away last week around 1am on Wednesday night. We think that he was going through GI Stasis or something with his digestive system as he was not eating or moving much. We planned to take him to the vet the next day 

I miss him so much. I held him every day and looked forward to seeing him. I would get anxious at work to leave and see him at home because he put a big smile on my face and made me laugh. He was unique and had his own personality. He was also so soft and sweet.

This past weekend I had a string of days where I wasn’t thinking about the grief as much and was able to go on with everything like normal. It was mostly because I was distracted with friends and busy with plans. I know this is a good thing.

Whenever I look at pictures of him it starts to hurt again and I wish I could spend more time with him. I think about how he had such a short time here with me and was taken too soon. (he had just had his 1year birthday).

Anyway, I wanted to share some pictures and share how I was feeling because I know this community understands the loss of our little fur babies and that they are not and never will be ‘just rabbits’

Please share your experiences below, pictures, happy thoughts. And if you want to share how you have coped through losing your bunny, all is appreciated. 

[Gordo and Janice]

Hi. Sorry for your loss of Moki. It’s always such an intense experience of loss with that yearning for more time, more touch, with that little precious soul. My story is too long to post again but if you want to read it, the thread title is “Mourning our precious little girl – Icey” or you can click on our name “Gordo and Janice” and it will take you to our profile page and then click on the “Topics Started” tab and you will find it under there.

I relate to wanting to get back home to see your bunny. After a few hours at a family function or being out with a friend, that thought of my little sweetie waiting back at the house would give me a little sense of anxiousness and urgency and I was ready to bolt! One year old for your little one to have gone IS way too soon. Heartbreaking!

As far as coping…it was just hard. No way around it. Agonizing, angering, despair, all the emotions. It may have not mattered what I did, it may have simply been time. The further away from the event in time the more I healed. But I like to think that the intensity of the pain was lessened by some things that I did. First and foremost was giving her a proper send off by telling everyone here, a community of rabbit owners and lovers, about her. Sort of a synopsis of her life from beginning to end. I got the idea from another member (September, and her little Timbob Roo). Also reading everyone else’s stories in the RAINBOW BRIDGE helped dilute my pain. Listening to how everyone else felt and what they were going through or had gone through helped me. I wasn’t alone. So many shared the exact same pain of losing their precious little bunny or bunnies. So interacting with others on this website, sharing and helping, helped me.

It’s been 5 months. I can still fall into an occasional intense cry over the unfairness and sadness of it all and how much I miss her. But it will last less than a minute. The happy thoughts are the binkies. The stares as she would come into the room and stop and just look at me as if to say, “There you are! Just checking up on you.” Those precious little nose boops on my ankle when it was attention time. I don’t know if all rabbits boop differently or not but hers was a signature quick double boop. The flops that I would catch her doing out of the corner of my eye from way across the room. It always made me smile that she was so comfortable and content. And of course the way she would splay out next to me as I lay on the floor next to her, petting her. Her eyes would half close as if she was wanting to keep them open just enough to look into mine. And so many more. I could go on and on. Happy thoughts.

You two are in my thoughts today as well. So sorry again for your loss.

Binky free {{{Moki}}}

[Phil]

Very sad to hear about your loss, poor baby, my Jasper was 8 years old died in jan under anasitic at vet, its taken me till now to even come to terms with what happened, a year old is very short life, but moki new how much you loved him, takes time to accept loosing our wonderful bunnies. X

[Flakie]

So sorry to hear about the loss of Moki. So sad to lose a bunny at such a young age.

My Flakie was nearly 10 and I struggled to come to terms with his passing. I still have moments 4 months down the line when I suddenly have a feeling of total anguish and my heart sinks.

I was driving home last night and it was a full moon with clouds covering parts of it and it was the shape and look of my Flakie it was so so weird.

I have two new bunnies now who I adore, they will never be my Flakie but are have little personalities of their own.

Flakie had stasis for over a year and was on lots of meds.

I feel the pain of your loss and found reading others stories here on binky bunny helped me a lot.

Binky free Moki

[Author]

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