I am so freaking depressed….

[angie-la]

sorry guys, I haven’t been on in awhile. I spent a bunch of my time and money applying to grad schools, only to find out a few days ago I was rejected from both. I have NEVER been rejected from a school before and this feeling sucks, so hard. I’m the only child so there’s always been a lot of pressure on me to do well in life, and up until this point I did. I almost went down the wrong path early in high school but I got back on track, went to college, and graduated with my B.A. I didn’t initially intend on getting my masters but the more time that passed in college the more I realized I needed to do this.

I finally told my mom today, and she was okay about it but she even admitted that my dad’s going to be super disappointed. I’m disappointed in myself too. this whole system sucks because I know I don’t look stellar on paper–my GPA and GRE scores were average. but I see all these idiots that get into UC Berkeley and don’t even really have passion about what they’re doing, and it’s like, I could have your spot! and I would be making a real change in the community [I want to teach in the long run, but for the moment I want to pursue a masters in Public Policy with a focus on public health administration to create and improve health programs for recent immigrants and other disenfranchised people].

so now I have to figure out a life plan or something as much as I want to blow off grad schools [as you can see, I don’t take rejection very well lol] I know I need a masters in order to teach later down the line, so I have to reapply and the whole process takes about a year. I guess in the meantime I can look for an internship or some kind of job to get my foot in the door but jobs are so scarce in California, especially in the bay area. damn this economy! *shakes fist* 

sorry, I just had to vent and I know I’ve read a lot of threads about bb members going through similar situations.

 

but on a happy note, the buns are totally fine and happy. and they definitely brighten up my days if you read this, thank you for listening! haha.  I feel better already.

[Helenor]

I’m sorry you’re feeling sad over the rejections. But you’re right, you can try to get internships and other things while you’re waiting. I know my school (UC Davis) has career fairs and such where people who are graduating can find internships and jobs. Maybe a campus near you has a job fair going on sometime soon and you can bring a resume or something? It’ll give you something to do.

I had wanted to apply for grad school at one point until I realized how hard research can be and how stressful it is getting research proposals accepted and getting grants. At this point I’m not really feeling sure on what I want to do for the future. If you know what you’re passionate about, keep at it and build some relevant experience to help for the next time you apply!

I hope you feel better soon!

[peppypoo]

Oh no, I’m so sorry! Your goals are great, though, and it sounds like something you’re really passionate about…I’m rooting for you! I guess it really depends on the school, but some admissions committees will discuss with you what was “wrong” with your application and what you could do to strengthen it for your second round. Maybe you could look into getting involved in a local volunteer health organization? I know there are several around my area that work on a sliding fee scale (and one that is free) that serve mainly minority/underpriveleged populations…work with these things look pretty good on your resume, and is an extra plus if you can get close to the administration for a letter of recommendation. I’m also considering adding a master’s in public health to my degree plan, but I’m not entirely sure yet. It’s an interesting field to get into!

[Zombie-Sue]

I am glad that typing it out makes you feel better… It’s hard to look at it this way, but you are so young. (: Don’t take it so hard when things don’t work out quickly.

[Elrohwen]

That is so hard 🙁 It’s really tough to pull yourself back from rejection like that, but it will definitely make you a stronger person at the end of the day.

To share some of my own story, I went through a horrible self-esteem sucking job right out of college. I went from doing really well, to being told I did a horrible job no matter how hard I worked. I learned later that my boss made up a lot of the feedback from other employees, and I still don’t understand why he and his boss felt the need to treat me like that. Anyway, it’s been a year and a half since I left that place and I’m still getting over the scars. The only thing that’s really helped is to have a new job where I’m valued and often told I’m doing a great job.

It’s so tough to be good at things your whole life and think you can do it all, and then have people completely put you down and destroy how you’ve always thought about yourself. I can tell you that you will get over it, but it will be gradual and hard. Hopefully you can find a job somewhat in the field and by the time you apply next year you’ll be able to show the schools how passionate and hard working you are. Good luck!

[Molzy]

I am so sorry to hear that!

I went through the same thing last year – applied to three grad programs, rejected from all three. Like you, I’d never been rejected before and it hurt. But, the good news is, you can try again. I spent last year building my resume – I volunteered to help professors with their research, and was able to get a paying job from that experience. I also took a couple of grad-level courses, and worked my ass off in them to impress the professors and to show them I could handle the work. Then, this fall, I tried again, and am now happily in a master’s program (though I did get a lot more rejections along the way, so be prepared).

Some great books I would recommend are “Getting what you came for” (this is focused on PhD level, but I still found it helpful – more about how to handle grad school once you’re in, but the beginning has tips for getting in too). My all-time favorite though was “Graduate Admissions Essays: Writing your way in to the school of your choice”. Super helpful!

There is also a great forum for grad school applicants, “The Grad Cafe” where you could get info from people in your field. I know grad programs differ greatly depending on what you want to go in to – I’m in the sciences, and in my field, you have to first get a professor at the school to be interested in you before you even think about applying, otherwise it’s a waste of your money! But I have friends in health sciences and stuff that are completely different.

Good luck, and don’t let it get you down!

[angie-la]

Thank you all for your kind words and suggestions! It gives me hope that people have gone through the same thing but got through it. now that I’m coming out of my rut, I’m seeing this as kind of a challenge to better myself and be a stronger person, since I’ve never had a tough time getting into school before. what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right? =P

@Helenor – thanks for the job fair suggestion! I always passed by them at SFSU but I never thought to stop by one. Definitely a good idea.

@Zombie-Sue- I know, I’m only 23 haha. but with all this newfound pressure to go to grad school and find a job ASAP I feel like I’m behind sometimes and freak out!

I’ve joked around [well, half joking ] that when I write my book one day [because I am determined to make that happen] I’ll sell it to these schools for twice the price. MWAHAHAA. in your face, schools.

[jerseygirl]

MWAHAHAA. in your face, schools.

Lol, that’s the spirit!

I have no clue how the system works in the US but I did want to say that I like that you’re taking a philosophical view of this now. I always find that helps. To step back and look at the ‘bigger picture’. Sometimes life shows us a different pathway to a destination. And sometimes hindsight can reveal that pathway was so much better in the long run. To me, any experience you can build now before you apply again is going to be invaluable. Not in getting accepted but more so in what you end up doing in a profession.

Anyway, the rejection is by a system. So don’t be feeling inadequete. I think it’s great you’ve identified a passion and have the ambition to pursue it!

[LBJ10]

I’m sorry, I might have missed it somewhere, but what is your area of study? A lot of the time, you can take graduate level courses before being admitted to the actual program. You could take a class or two between now and then. Also, try contacting professors that have similar interests. It really really helps if you have a professor that is looking forward to seeing your application. If you are interested in research, you could even offer to work for them. I know several undergraduate students who were working for a professor in his lab. Yes, you have already graduated, but a professor may still be willing to let you come in under their wing. Also, were you only applying to one school? Is it because you don’t want to leave your current location? If you are willing to relocate (temporarily), you might have a better chance applying to a school outside your area. Some areas of the country are actually seeking graduate applicants because they haven’t been receiving enough of them. These schools may be more willing to provide you with funding too. You could be an RA or a TA for them and they will waive your tuition plus give you a stipend to live off of.

[angie-la]

I graduated with a B.A. in Asian American Studies and I’m applying to get my masters in Public Policy with a focus on public health administration. My options are limited since I want to stay in the Bay area–as you can see my goals and field of study is pretty specific and this is a great place to pursue this career, with all the community organization that goes on. I never thought about contacting professors to do work for them, that’s also a good idea!

[Zombie-Sue]

You’re not behind, I promise :p

[Huckleberry]

Thats awful! I cant imagine how helpless you must feel right now.
Spend some time tonight just relaxing and not thinking about it (as if thats possible), enjoy the buns and maybe one or two of your favorite drink and take it easy. You will find something somewhere.
I can relate to the feeling behind thing. I am 25 and STILL working on a bachelors. I changed majors waaaaaay too many times. I remember growing up watching my older cousins in their mid20’s, they had nice cars, condos, degrees, good jobs, and a couple were even married. I feel very very behind.
One day I was talking to my boyfriend about this stuff and he said that life is not a race, its yours to live, don’t ruin it by trying to keep up with lives that are for other people to live.
Good luck!!!!

[angie-la]

livingonfaith — that’s exactly why I felt so behind too! I kind of had this idea embedded that you’re supposed to graduate from school, and then find a career and settle down by the time you’re 26 or something. but lately, after going to my cousin’s wedding [the couple is 35 and this is their first marriage], I realized times have changed and now it’s actually more common to settle down later towards the 30’s since there are all these new obligations and obstacles with undergrad classes being cut, grad school positions being limited, jobs being limited, etc. so that makes me feel better. the fact that we’re both even pursuing a degree says enough, right? =]

[Huckleberry]

the fact that we’re both even pursuing a degree says enough, right? =]

I sure hope so!!! It feels good for me too to know others are going through this.
My boyfriend is the same age as me and hasn’t even really started school. He started when he got out of high school but hit some really hard times and took some time off, he was waiting to pay off his loans and hoping to get a fresh start with his gpa (I guess if you wait 5 years, you can request your transcript be wiped clean? I dont understand it very well though). He’s going back this fall. We have talked about “the future together” and neither of us are going to consider marriage or anything until after we both have good careers. This all sounds great until you consider that we won’t both be out of school until we are 29-30. It feels so late but like you say, times have changed and this generation is living on a total different time frame than the generations before us.
Cheers to us!!! Haha

[Elrohwen]

As someone in their mid-20s (27) who has a career and is married, I have to say that taking some extra time for grad school can be wonderful! I do love my career, but my husband and I get paid far less than those in our company with PhDs, though we do the same work (DH especially does more than the PhDs in his group). We only have B.S. degrees and while I don’t think I could’ve made it through a PhD with my sanity intact, I know DH kind of wishes he did. You won’t be disappointed once you’re in grad school and after you graduate! There honestly aren’t many jobs you can get these days that pay well with just a bachelor’s degree, so getting to grad school, no matter what it takes, will be something you’ll never regret.

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