I am so angry and upset

[charlie82]

I am so angry and upset. I have been tricked and mislead. I just typed this whole thing out and accidentally deleted so i will shorten the story.

All of my babies were supposed to go to good homes, one of which was my aunts friend (whose rabbits they are) I had my reservations about it but she assured me they were going to a good home. I was asked if I would take mum and two babies back to my aunts on Sunday where her friend would be picking the babes up (I live an hour away) which I stupidly agreed to because I believed that they would be going that day. I took them over and leaving them there was too upsetting for me. I feel so guilty because I just had a gut feeling that something just wasn’t right about the whole thing and just left them there. (I would have kept them but I live with my sister who came with me and she would not have allowed me to do so) I spent the whole day crying because I was worried about them. I found it upsetting rehoming the other four but not as badly as I knew where they were going to and the people they are with.

I sent my cousin a message asking if they were ok and if they had gone to their new homes  to which she didn’t reply (she was quick enough to when the babies were here). Then yesterday I get a message from my uncle that just said ‘Tanisha is keeping the babies she doesn’t want to let go’ I nearly exploded with anger. I have spent weeks trying to educate my cousin on rabbit welfare and care and made her see that two rabbits were more than enough for her. She has been taking better care of Thumper and actually has an interest in them now but she is still only ten with no guidance or support. They have put the mum and two babies in a hutch not even 4 ft by 18 inches and they don’t have a run for the babies to exercise in. I feel like my heart is breaking. I rang my other aunt who is close to them and she was shocked and disgusted that they have allowed her to keep them, apparently  she has been begging them for weeks yet telling me that she couldn’t cope with anymore and I really think they had this planned because they knew I would not give them back knowing she was going to keep them. I have had a few thoughts including going and snatching them (then I thought if I did that they would just go out and get more and they would know it was me) and told my aunt that if I find out that they are keeping those rabbits like they used to I will have the RSPCA round there so quickly.  I sent a message back to my uncle saying that I hope he realises that they will need to get a VERY BIG hutch to house three rabbits together and both babies would need to be neutered. I said it was irresponsible to allow her to keep them given how much trouble she has had in looking after the first two, they are living creatures not toys and that I only hope it wasn’t too much work for a ten year old to deal with. I didn’t get a reply!

As much as my sister thinks i’m overly neurotic where the rabbits are concerned, she was also furious last night because yet again I have been taken for a fool. Everytime I try and help them they throw it back in my face. I got a message late last night from my aunt saying that although Tanisha wants to keep the babies  my aunt  feels it would be unrealistic and too much for her (in other words they don’t want to spend the money neutering and buying bigger accommodation)  so it looks like they may be coming back to me after all.  I am so angry, they have basically messed these poor little bunnies around because they wanted to have some cute balls of fluff around…all the while the longer they have them the harder it is to rehome them. Really I just want them back now because I can’t even think about what’s happening with them at the moment and I just hope my sister and her husband allow me to take them back. Worst thing is I’m going away to Spain tomorrow for a few days (hen party) and my aunt is going to be there too.  I should have just done what everyone said in the first place and not given any back. I was just trying to keep the peace but it looks like we will fall out over it anyway now. I feel so awful that I’ve let the buns down

 

[Lisa_43]

You poor thing, all the work you have done and to be tricked like that stinks. If they don’t give them back to you, I would not hesitate to call the ASPCA on them, relatives or not.

[charlie82]

Posted By Lisa_43 on 03/20/2008 4:51 AM
You poor thing, all the work you have done and to be tricked like that stinks. If they don’t give them back to you, I would not hesitate to call the ASPCA on them, relatives or not.

 

Yeah I’m seriously considering it. I will no doubt have to talk to my aunt about it tomorrow. Hopefully she might have a little sense and will risk upsetting her daughter for the sake of the rabbits welfare, it’s like given in to a child demanding sweets…that’s how they seem to be looking at it. I told her she will not be able to cope with four. I work from home, am an adult and have six to care for and I still find it very difficult at times. Then again they don’t look at their pets in the same way that we do.

[bunnytowne]

dang relatives can make a person nuts. well you are right the buns may end up back with you and yes they are kind of dumb putting them all in 1 small cage and being so ho hum about it all. are they gona keep the babies til they are adolescents and then get rid of them?

[charlie82]

Yep Bunnytowne, I think if they did decide to keep them they would be back on the phone in a few months time once they start fighting and ask me to rehome them. I think I am going to demand that I have them back now rather than later. I’m not just a dumping ground for bunnies that they grow bored of. I initially rehomed their first two last year to a friend, and the day before I was due to pick them up they changed their mind so I had to let my friend down. I wish they had just given them up then and all of this wouldn’t have happened. Also, they are due to go to Florida soon so I want to know who they are intended on taking their bunnies to because no doubt it will be me! I am not going to see the buns suffer but I am also not going to allow them to take the p*** out of me any longer. I did not even get a thank you for taking care of these rabbits and neutering their buck, or for finding homes for four of them. Nor did they offer to pay for their upkeep or vet bills, people have said to me that they were not my rabbits in the first place but I was taking care of them so I think that gives me some rights. They are ignorant and arrogant people.

[Lisa_43]

they would end up like that rescued 29, babies having babies etc etc. They need to give them back now.

[JK]

We all knew this would happen!  You have got to step in there no matter what and get them back.  You have no choice after all the work you went through.  A 4′ x 18″ hutch?  OMG  that is not acceptable.  My blood would be boiling.  A 10 yr old can’t possibly deal with this and before you know it they will all be having litters! I’m so sorry for you.

[babybunsmum]

grrrrr…. i’m boiling mad on your behalf!  your aunt’s flakiness is unforgiveable.  truly.  i can totally see where you’re coming form – wanting to keep the peace and hoping for a glimmer of responsibility from them.  i know it would be a verrrry difficult thing to go against family, but let this fuel your fire, get mad, put on a face of firm resolve and go & get those buns back for good.  you’re only ever trying to do the right thing but they screwed you again.  grrr.  ((((((hugs)))))) to you for caring & wanting to do the right thing!

[charlie82]

I am going to try and get them back, I think my aunt will cave in because she knows she doesn’t have time for them. My blood is boiling believe me. They wouldn’t be able to breed because they are two does and their buck I had neutered back in January. Don’t worry I will get them back one way or another….

[RabbitPam]

Have you given away or dismantled your accommodations for them yet? I presume you had a set up until you dropped them off. If it were OK with your sister, I’d be tempted to offer to let you make it easy for your aunt, drive right over and pick them up tonight. That way they are rescued, you are relieved, and the brat doesn’t have time to do any real damage. (sorry, but grrrr.) You could then call the friend who was disappointed from before and ask if she still would like one or more brand new little adorable babies. After that, start rehoming, since you were so successful with the other 4. Is there a rescue near you in case they can help do it, or if you don’t find someone on your own? It’s not fair to your sister (who sounds like she’s been great in all of this, hubby too.) to extend her accommodations, but I think the sooner it’s over the better. Then you can firmly let your aunt know that this is THE LAST TIME, and that you will be taking further action if you see that they have acquired new rabbits again. Enough is enough.

[charlie82]

Posted By babybunsmum on 03/20/2008 6:58 AM

grrrrr…. i’m boiling mad on your behalf!  your aunt’s flakiness is unforgiveable.  truly.  i can totally see where you’re coming form – wanting to keep the peace and hoping for a glimmer of responsibility from them.  i know it would be a verrrry difficult thing to go against family, but let this fuel your fire, get mad, put on a face of firm resolve and go & get those buns back for good.  you’re only ever trying to do the right thing but they screwed you again.  grrr.  ((((((hugs)))))) to you for caring & wanting to do the right thing!

Thanks 🙂 I don’t care if we fall out now over it, or if they think I am mad for caring so much but I only want what is best for the rabbits. If they were willing to neuter and have a decent set up then fair enough but so far it seems that they are not listening to what I tell them. I gave her a file full of care information and advice etc that I spent some time putting together. No doubt they haven’t even looked at it.

[charlie82]

Posted By rabbitpam on 03/20/2008 7:02 AM
Have you given away or dismantled your accommodations for them yet? I presume you had a set up until you dropped them off. If it were OK with your sister, I’d be tempted to offer to let you make it easy for your aunt, drive right over and pick them up tonight. That way they are rescued, you are relieved, and the brat doesn’t have time to do any real damage. (sorry, but grrrr.) You could then call the friend who was disappointed from before and ask if she still would like one or more brand new little adorable babies. After that, start rehoming, since you were so successful with the other 4. Is there a rescue near you in case they can help do it, or if you don’t find someone on your own? It’s not fair to your sister (who sounds like she’s been great in all of this, hubby too.) to extend her accommodations, but I think the sooner it’s over the better. Then you can firmly let your aunt know that this is THE LAST TIME, and that you will be taking further action if you see that they have acquired new rabbits again. Enough is enough.

 

Apparantly she is going to call me tonight She said her friend who apparantly ‘originally’ wanted them is away over Easter but she wants to find out if she still wants them. They just see them as easily disposable pets. Rehoming them was very stressful for me as I wanted to avoid this sort of thing happening, I wanted to vet all homes which is why I wasn’t happy about her friend having them in the first place. If I get them back I will try rehoming myself, I have the room for them here…or if my sister and hubby object (I think they only have issues because they think I will end up keeping them long term) I will ask the rescue I help with if they can take them. Either way I know they will end up with a good home.  My other friend ended up adopting two other rabbits from the rescue via me. 

 

[JK]

No you just can’t let them have the buns even if they agree to neuter. They will not give them a good home! They are proving irresponsible no matter what they say. Don’t cave, pleeeeeeese!

[Beka27]

it needs to be your decision who they go to.  i hate to say it but i don’t think you should help them at all anymore.  not with rabbit-sitting, not with vet costs, nothing.  they are taking advantage of you.

[charlie82]

Posted By knowltons4 on 03/20/2008 7:11 AM
No you just can’t let them have the buns even if they agree to neuter. They will not give them a good home! They are proving irresponsible no matter what they say. Don’t cave, pleeeeeeese!

Oh don’t worry I wouldn’t cave that easily. I’m talking if they are absolutely adamant that they won’t hand them over (i don’t think that will happen). Our animal protection socities have very little control here and are not able to take animals unless they are truley suffering i/e very ill. It’s sad but true, all they will probably do is offer them advice which is no different to what I am doing. All I can then do is go steal the bunnies, but I’m not sure I would get away with that. To be honest after what I said to my aunt yesterday and what she said back I don’t think they will keep them and they will be back with me asap. I think it was an idea they came up with without thinking it through and now there is the reality of four rabbits they see it is too much. I’ll see what she says when she rings up but she already knows what I think.

[charlie82]

Posted By Beka27 on 03/20/2008 7:18 AM

it needs to be your decision who they go to.  i hate to say it but i don’t think you should help them at all anymore.  not with rabbit-sitting, not with vet costs, nothing.  they are taking advantage of you.

I know. My sister was really angry when she found out they were keeping them. She told me I was not to look after them anymore etc etc because they are just taking advantage and have probably thought keeping four was fine because they have me on hand to be at their beck and call!

[ScooterandAnnette]

Gosh now wouldn’t it be a shame if somehow she started receiving tons of emails about bunny care and how expensive it is etc…
– Annette

[charlie82]

Posted By Beka27 on 03/20/2008 7:18 AM

it needs to be your decision who they go to.  i hate to say it but i don’t think you should help them at all anymore.  not with rabbit-sitting, not with vet costs, nothing.  they are taking advantage of you.

I know. My sister was really angry when she found out they were keeping them. She told me I was not to look after them anymore etc etc because they are just taking advantage and have probably thought keeping four was fine because they have me on hand to be at their beck and call!

[Beka27]

you never altered the mama right?  i just hope they don’t buy another baby bunny after you take those babies away and mom gets pregnant again.

[charlie82]

I really hope I get them back. I think I will ask my mum’s neighbour’s if they would like them. They had a rabbit for years when I was young and she was very well looked after and loved. Their 23 year old son died last year of a brain tumour and I was talking to them just before Christmas. I had two of my bunnies with me (was staying with my mum because me step dad had to have heart surgery) and she was saying that she was thinking about getting another rabbit and loved lionheads….well one of the babies is verrrryyyy fluffy and is going to turn out like Lion Lops Kibou I think. I don’t want to approach them until I know what’s happening.

[charlie82]

Posted By Beka27 on 03/20/2008 7:26 AM

you never altered the mama right?  i just hope they don’t buy another baby bunny after you take those babies away and mom gets pregnant again.

 

i’m supposed to be taking mum to be spayed in a couple of weeks once hormones have settled they wouldn’t let her stay with me until then.

 

[RabbitPam]

I think there’s no harm in talking to the family that had bunnies and lost their son. You can simply explain to her that you might be rescuing these babies and if so, it could happen very soon and you need to re-home them as soon as possible. Ask if they would be interested in them? If they say no, that’s it and you can forget about them as an option. If they say yes, you can let your aunt know you have a possible home for them at the ready. Do you/they have cages etc. to give away with them? Be sure to ask if they want only one or would like both.

I agree that your aunt is ready to give them back to you, and that you would otherwise be taken advantage of as a backup caregiver. Your suspicion that this will all happen again when they are a bit older (teens) is undoubtedly correct. And making a 10-11 year old understand that a bunny she’s had for a year needs to go is Much harder than convincing her to give them up after a couple of days. Even if she does neglect them. Any chance that your aunt/uncle would give up the mother and just get out of the bunny pet parents situation totally? She might be better off elsewhere too.

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

OMG you poor thing *hugs* Family!!! GAAH!!

You know, I think it’s gross, that you have to even worry about a fall out from your actions when clearly they were wrong…Sux…

Keep us posted and hopefully you get them back asap. I can understand how unsettled and angry you must feel right now… *hugs*

[osprey]

Charlie, what a mess!  My kids are 9 and 10, and they are totally devoted to our bunnies, yet they could never care for them on their own.  They need to be reminded to feed them, change their water, fill the hay rack, etc.  They are good kids, they are just not responsible enough to handle it by themselves.  There is absolutely no way a 10 year old can handle 4 rabbits.  And what happens when the 10 year old is 16, the rabbits are adults and not little poof balls anymore?  Will she still care for them when there are boys to hang out with?

The only good thing is that rabbits, particularly babies, are very resilient and change environments easily.  If they do come back with you, they will settle in just fine.

 

[Sarita]

That is too bad – most 10 year olds cannot take care of themselves (they are only 10 after all) much less have full responsibility of one pet not to mention more.

Sending strength vibes to you.

[charlie82]

Thank you everybody…. I’m hoping this will be resolved soon.

I had a huge three storey hutch that I have given to my sisters friend (who adopted two), and she is currently borrowing my indoor cage while the weather is so cold this weekend. I don’t use cages for my buns so once I get it back I will give it away with the babies (hopefully they will go together). I have asked my vet nurse and vet friend if they will keep an ear to the ground at their practices for any prospective owners.
We actually built a huge 6ft by 3 ft double hutch for the two that my sister has and they have a large enclosed run and go in the house every day. So far I think these babies have cost me around 300 pounds to feed them, keep them clean, pay for the materials for my sisters hutch (we split it) and the cost of the van to transport the other hutch. …I don’t mind one bit that I have had to pay so much for them but it annoys me that my aunt doesn’t give two hoots about them really. I dread to think what would have happened should they have been born at her house….she even said once that they would most likely have died.

I know that in a few years my cousin won’t be bothered at all about the rabbits, I just don’t know why adults think it is ok to give them a rabbit to fill in few years of amusement. It really saddens me. I hope you are right and the babies will adjust, I hated seeing them so sad in that hutch on Sunday.

[bunnytowne]

hey hopefully when your relatives come to florida then you can take them home and find them a good caring home gee you neutered the buck and they dont’ care talk about taking advantage well we are related it’s ok blah blah blah   uh helloooo no it is not ok taking advantage not at all. poor buns bouncing all over to one good home then 1 mediocore one then yes probably back again. gee.

[charlie82]

You are right bunnytowne.

I told my sister tonight what my aunt said to me last night (she was in bed at the time and went out early for work so hadn’t had chance to speak to her until now) and she said I should demand them back or make up some story that I have a home lined up for them rather than waiting for her friend to get back from holidays when it will be even harder to let them go. She doesn’t care if I bring them back here and try to rehome them, she just thinks that they need to be taken off my aunt. I’m lucky that I have a sister who cares enough!! Luckily my sister is going on this hen party too so we can both argue it out with my aunt if need be.
I’m going to point out that these bunnies are going to live for 10-15 years and in a few years time once my cousin is older and wanting to be out with her friends who is going to look after them then? It’s a big commitment and they just don’t seem to get that.

[kimberleyanddarren]

hows it going any more updates?
i think if they are yours and she wont give them to u then u should just phone the cops

[MimzMum]

Oh Charlie I am so sorry to hear this has happened! Now I REALLY wish I lived near you, I would have at the very least fostered them for you!
We have to stand up for those with no voice, m’dear, and I applaud you for stepping in on your buns’ behalf! Family is the best reason in some cases that we can PICK our friends, who are often much better family than our family. *nods*
I wish there were something I could do to help. It is so frustrating to just have to watch this unfold here at the forums. By all that’s holy, I’d stomp right in there with you and rescue those sweet little darlings in half a heartbeat!

[charlie82]

no news…. i have tried calling but no answer. I will be seeing my aunt tomorrow though regardless.

kimberley…they were my ten yr old cousins rabbits, I looked after them just after xmas and the doe gave birth while with me. I kept them here because I feared this would happen should they have been at my aunts. They really don’t have a clue. The doe I had agreed to give back after bringing my young cousin back and forth to show her how she needs to be looking after her buns. …plus I was trying to keep the peace and thought I would be able to oversee care. I did not however want her to have any more because she struggles with the two she has. I thought she understood that and that is what she led me to believe.

Thank you for your kind words Mimz….. I can’t help but feel guilty because I should have stuck to my guns in the first place and not taken them there, should of insisted on taking them straight to their new home. I didn’t expect them to be so deceitful about it all because I have done so much for them this past couple of months.

[MimzMum]

My grandmother used to say, when she had been crossed enough times, “I’m out of peanuts.” This is because she had several brothers and sisters growing up who would trick her-after a trip to the circus-and take all the peanuts she had from her that were the only thing they could afford as a treat. It certainly sounds like you are out of peanuts.
But don’t feel guilty, you did what you thought you should do, and now you are again doing what will be best for the bunnies. I had a good friend for many years through high school, her family had cats that the mother was too cheap to have fixed. They tried to keep them indoors, but these cats got out and the main female was always coming home with a new litter. It infuriated me no end, but for years I could do nothing to stop it. When they got foreclosed out of their home, the mom was going to just leave the two they had left, mother and daughter, in the house with a window open to ‘fend for themselves.’ That was the end for me. I took them both on, plus the last litter the mother had just given birth to, weaned the kittens, got them good homes and had both mother and daughter spayed. I kept the daughter and hoped to return the mother to my friend’s sister, who dearly loved the cat.
Sadly, the mother cat was too old and, after coming through surgery successfully, passed away during the night. I felt so bad, but I just couldn’t see that poor cat having any more babies.
The cat I kept lived a good long ten years with me, she was a beautiful ragdoll persian named Scorpio after a soap opera character. (Not my idea.) She moved from California to Alaska with me and a few years after that went to the Rainbow Bridge knowing she was loved and cared for. I’ve had lots of pets, but she was the one I felt I made the most difference for-next to my darling Mimzy now.
I know you will find good homes for these baby buns to go to. You are a good person and you have a conscience. Lots of folks don’t. YOU are one of the good ones!

[RabbitPam]

…and so is your sister. Good luck tomorrow.

[Scarlet_Rose]

Cahrlie I’m sending you my best wishes that those babies will be in your care very shortly. I have no doubt this hare-brained idea came from the 10-yr old who bribed mum, oh can’t I keep them? Grr, stupid immature, irresponsible…..I’d stay on watch while you and Mimz made off with the rabbits.

[charlie82]

I’M GETTING THEM BACK!!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t tell you all how relieved I am, I feel like crying.
So, I saw my aunty at the airport on friday and waited for her to mention the rabbits to me, can’t remember how it was brought up…think she started moaning about them. My cousin had had them in the conservatory and I think they had pooped in there or something….she referred to one of them as a rat, which I was not amused about, then my sister butted in and said she had a friend who wanted them. My aunt then went on to say to be fair to her daughter she had been looking after them, but my sister and I both stated that four was far too much for ten year old to deal with and to keep them because they are cute little babies wasn’t fair on them. She said she would probably have to give them back to me. Then she said her husband was away for the weekend and was talking about the kids staying at their grandparents…which I believe meant that she had left the rabbits all weekend on their own. She also said that they hadn’t been able to get the buck in from the garden all week and he was still out!! You can imagine how ill I was feeling about this, even more so because we have had freezing temperatures and snow. The babies are used to having heat pads and being in a shed where their water doesn’t freeze over so I dread to think what they had over the weekend. I was thinking about them all weekend and worrying all day today. I didn’t hear anything so I sent her a message asking if I could come pick them up…my cousin rang me and said I could anytime I like, she realises that she can’t cope with them and apologised for them having being passed around. I’m going to pick them up tomorrow and i just can’t wait. I’m going to the vets on the way back to pick Phoebe up after her spay so I am going to get them thoroughly checked over, especially the smaller bun who they say hasn’t been eating well. I’m going to move them into the summerhouse too so they are nice and warm in there. I will have to take some new pictures once they are home….and I’ll definitely be vetting any potential homes this time, i’m going to ask my mum’s neighbour.

[JK]

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You can NEVER give them back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I’m so happy for you. If you are in the least bit tempted you come to this forum and we will blast you!  I’m just kidding.  You have a great heart but learned the hard way.  Congrats and please update us when you get them back!

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

OMG PHEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!! BIG HUGS!!!! You must feel so relieved! I’m so happy for you!!

[charlie82]

Oh I definitely won’t be giving them back…. I had to lie and say we had a home for them but i don’t care so long as they are safe here for now. I will keep them as long as it takes until they find a home I think deserves them. I would never have even taken them back there in the first place had I know they were lying, and I certainly won’t be as soft again. Now I need to find a way to get the other two (mum and dad), I’m going to keep in regular touch with my cousin because I think it won’t be long before she gets bored with them again. I’m just pleased that they say sense before it was too late.

[Gravehearted]

ooo Charlie, I am so sorry to hear about this whole mess! Considering how the whole thing started I have to admit I am not surprised by the continued poor care for these bunnies sadly.

I am VERY relieved to hear you were able to talk her into giving them back to you. Thank goodness these bunnies have you as their champion!!

[MimzMum]

You have hearty congratulations from me and lots of loving noserubs from my two buns! I am keeping you all in my prayers that the bunnilets are well and healthy and that you are able to find a good home for them.
Oooooo I wish I were closer! >.< But I am so glad they are saved! Fwee! ^^ Good for you for getting them back!

[Scarlet_Rose]

Whew! That’s wonderful news!

[Lisa_43]

I am so glad you got them back, they are in good hands.

[Author]

Messages