How to regain my rabbit’s trust?

[TheLuiz]

Almost two months with my new rabbit and things were going well. Bunny was a bit clingy, but I learned how to deal with it. The main problem was how he insisted on peeing on my couch, bed and even on me.

Yes, I know, neutering. I’m working on that. Unfortunately the areas that accept bunnies are all far away and expensive. There is a bunny vet close to me, but she doesn’t do the neutering and all her contacts who do are far. I will get him neutered, but it will take some time.

Moving on, last week I’ve reached a boiling point when he jumped on my bed specifically just to pee on it and then left, which angered me, but, ok, whatever, I’ll clean it. After cleaning, I sat down on the couch to take a breather and he hopped in, demanding attention, which I gave to him.

He peed on me, and on the couch by proxy. I was already stressed because of the bed, so this ticked me off and I pushed him away from me. A light push, not much, except that when I pushed him away, cuz he was peeing on me for f sake, he BIT me.

That was the last straw.

Now, I’m not a violent person and I never harmed any pet I had in the past, though I never had a rabbit, but it was just a blur and when I noticed I not only hit the rabbit, but chased him into a corner, screaming at him and he was terrified when I realized. I know I messed up, I know what I did has no justification.

Now, he just “tolerates me”, if that’s the right word. He’ll stay near me, sleeps near me, will allow me to pet him and sometimes even lick my hand, but generally he now has 0 interest on me. He doesn’t ask for pets, he doesn’t ask for attention anymore. Unless he wants more food he won’t approach me on his own at all. And I miss the needy bunny from before, I miss my best bud, I miss him following me around the house, I miss him running in circles around me and how he was happy to see me when I got home.

I tried to stay on his level, I tried to give him space, but nothing works. He’s been acting really cold towards me, unless he’s hungry. Heck, he doesn’t hide from me, but sometimes he moves towards another part of the house just because I walked in on the area where he is at the time.

I’m starting to lose hope and, call me selfish if you want, but I live alone, so I got a pet to have a friend, to have company, and if the rabbit will just eat my food, suck my money with vet and rabbit stuff just to pretend I don’t exist, I’ll just get rid of him altogether, but I don’t want that.

He still pees on my bed though. Little bastard.

[Bam]

There’s not a lot you can do except try to be a valuable resource to your bun. I e be the bringer of food and treats and nice company. If he doesn’t want to go near you, don’t chase him or force him. It can take time for him to seek you out again. If your bun was very young (a few months) when you got him, his distancing himself from you can very well be, at least in part, due to his transition from babyhood to adulthood. Very young rabbits are often cuddly and fearless. When they mature, they become a lot less trusting. This is perfectly normal and important for survival in the wild. (Our house rabbits still retain a lot of wildtype instincts).

Rabbits, especially intact rabbits, will nip and pee on their love interest. They will mark high value spots like sofas and beds etc. They can nip quite hard -rabbits have fur so when a rabbit nips another rabbit, there will be fur in between to “cushion” the nip. Rabbits are comparatively simple animals and their behaviour is to a great extent directed by various hormones, not only sex hormones. If your bun is a “teenager” he is raging with hormones. He can’t help it and he’s not doing these things to spite you. Spraying pee and nipping are standard rabbit courtship behaviors.

If at all possible, try to block him from accessing your sofa. If you get him neutered, he might not be as inclined to pee on the sofa, but that is provided he hasnt established a solid sofa-peeing habit. Habits tend to live on even when the hormonal basis for the behavior has been removed.

I dont know if you live in an area where there are rabbit rescues, but if you are, you could contact one or more of those and ask what vet they use for their neuters. Rabbit rescues always need to have many neuters done.

I hope you and your bun will be able to establish a working and mutually rewarding relationship. We have had several members here whose buns were absolute terrors during their “teens”. Many young buns are surrendered or given up on when they hit puberty. But no animal stays a teenager forever.

[the.beanie.bunnies]

It’s important to remember that he is extremely hormonal and WILL mark. It is simply biology. Jellybean marked on everything before he was neutered – I invested in waterproof blankets to put on couch/bed/anything I didn’t want soaked in pee. He began spraying pee right before getting neutered – I was sprayed in the face before lol. this may start happening for you soon. I urge you to mentally prepare for it and try not to have an angry outburst. In terms of earning his trust, try to sit on the ground around him as much as possible. Speak in a gentle tone and hand feed him. If he hops away from you as you try to pet him, don’t force it by following him.

Gaining a rabbit’s trust takes time but it is so worth it once they know you are their safe space.

[DanaNM]

I highly recommend creating a safe space for your rabbit where it’s OK if he marks. You can use multiple x-pens and line the floor with washable pee pads so it’s OK if he marks. Many rabbits are not suitable for fully free roaming and many rabbits are surrendered at shelters because people don’t have realistic expectations for their bunny.

Neutering is very important to stop marking, so I would prioritize that.

As you pointed out, you behaved in a dangerous way toward’s your rabbit and the way your describe your relation ship with him is alarming. You also mentioned not wanting to pay for food or vet bills for him, which is a key part of owning any pet. If you are unable to care for your rabbit, regardless of how he behaves towards you, then rehoming is the kindest option.

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

[LBJ10]

One of the misconceptions about rabbits is they are cuddly pets. Can rabbits be cuddly? Yes, but not in the way most people would think when they think “cuddly”. What I mean is, they might be comfortable enough to come sit next to you. Or they might enjoy being pet or having their cheeks rubbed. But it’s also completely normal for a bunny to not want to partake in such things. You have to remember that rabbits are prey animals. The instinct to not get eaten is very much ingrained into their DNA.

Some of the behaviors you are describing where he is showing you affection are likely the product of his hormones. Young bunnies are very trusting and fearless. As they get older, their hormones tell them to A) fear you, B) court you, and C) mark their territory. They are literally teenagers, with hormones and conflicting urges driving them crazy. So yes, neutering him will help a lot with the behavior (both “good” and “bad” ones).

I think we can all agree that your reaction was wrong. I can see that you feel bad about it and you are remorseful. But you have a choice to make. You can either learn from your mistake, move on, and pledge to love and care for him like he deserves… while also learning to accept him for what he is and that is a bunny. You will need to learn to appreciate him and everything that comes with owning a rabbit. OR you can come to the conclusion that perhaps you are not cut out for being a bunny owner. There is certainly no shame in that. Just make sure to take care in finding him a loving home.

[Em]

To be honest, he is a young rabbit and to me it sounds like maybe a rabbit is just not the right pet for you.

I won’t go on about your reaction to him, as you have admitted you know it was wrong regardless of the context behind it, but from your explanation of the reasonings you got him I just don’t think rabbits were ever the right choice to begin with. Most rabbits aren’t cuddly. Most rabbits, even when “fully litter trained”, have accidents. They’re destructive animals (even when you provide plentiful enrichment opportunities), they can make a mess, and they’re a total money pit. I think anyone who owns rabbits will tell you that you put in 100x more than what you get back in terms of affection…. But we still adore them all the same. It’s okay if you don’t, but it really does sound then that they are not the pet for you. I have an 8 year old female. She still sometimes pees on my couch (and she’s been spayed, for years). She cuddles with me for a few minutes and then decides she’s had enough and leaves. She’s cost me thousands in vet bills, food, toys, and replacing cables and other bits she’s wrecked…. But I would never shout at her, scream at her, chase her, or even consider rehoming her.

I think the fact that rehoming has crossed your mind would indicate to me that you already likely know that rabbits aren’t what you thought they were. And that’s alright! Just ensure he finds a good home, with someone who has realise expectations that a rabbit will behave like a rabbit. While he is still young, he would also have a considerably higher chance at getting adopted & he’s adorable so I’m sure he’ll have no problems.

My own two cents; I think you’d probably do better with an animal who is happy to live in an enclosure? Instead of one who is free roaming your apartment. Or maybe a small dog, or already neutered cat. Personally i can’t see a rabbit suiting you.

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